So weird in that I'm a woman and oddly, I have been lurking here for a few days and this forum has been rather helpful to me.
So here's my story - I'm in my mid-30s and going through a divorce that I initiated. We've been separated for 6 months, were married 11 years. It was a very unhealthy situation.
In regards to sex, I spent those 11 years with meaningless sex. I've made love once in my life and it wasn't with my husband. I've never had an orgasm from a man, was 21 when I had my first one solo.
I spent 11 years with a man who told me flat out early on that it made no difference to him whether I had an orgasm or not. If I wanted one, then I took care of it myself. He'd "help" some but seemed like he was always just waiting for his turn, never really truly being interested in me. I felt like just a body to him sexually, which was interesting because in other ways in our life, I didn't feel that way. I never realized how much that crushed me until the last few months. He always seemed a little afraid of my vagina - minimal touching and oral sex was rare. By the time things ended, we were maybe once every month or two. I never initiated - to be honest I preferred going solo.
I don't even know why I'm telling you guys all this, aside from maybe the thing is I don't have anyone I can talk about this stuff with. For a male sex forum, you guys seem oddly safe. I debated registering but finally just did it.
In the last 6 months since I've separated from my husband, I've come to realize I am a much, much more sexual creature than the last decade would indicate.
I discovered I am capable of multiple orgasms (and when I say multiple, I mean... once it was 15-20 in an hour, certainly not something that happens all the time but it was insane when it did). I also discovered I am capable of female ejaculation. I found this forum while looking for info on the A-spot (which is next on my bucket list).
It's been kind of mind-blowing. I always had a healthy sex drive when I was young but was never well informed, hence didn't have my first orgasm until age 21. And then I spent the last decade in a sort of sexual withdrawal - my ex is a great example of why a big dick does not equal great sex. So, discovering these things about myself is just really amazing and interestingly, has been very healing for me. Even stupid little things like comments some of you have made in various threads about how you always want your woman to have an orgasm has been really healing for me - because I went for so long with someone who was so indifferent to my sexual pleasure but then told me he felt emasculated because I didn't desire him anymore. So, thank you guys for that.
I'm a pretty private person so even posting here is a big step for me but I am bound and determined to heal and maybe someday if I meet someone so great that they would woo me away from the awesomeness that is single life, I will be able to have an amazing sex life for once.
So, in any case, I don't know if I'll post much but I'll lurk about in the gym and women's perspective forums. And I'll offer my perspective
So here's my story - I'm in my mid-30s and going through a divorce that I initiated. We've been separated for 6 months, were married 11 years. It was a very unhealthy situation.
In regards to sex, I spent those 11 years with meaningless sex. I've made love once in my life and it wasn't with my husband. I've never had an orgasm from a man, was 21 when I had my first one solo.
I spent 11 years with a man who told me flat out early on that it made no difference to him whether I had an orgasm or not. If I wanted one, then I took care of it myself. He'd "help" some but seemed like he was always just waiting for his turn, never really truly being interested in me. I felt like just a body to him sexually, which was interesting because in other ways in our life, I didn't feel that way. I never realized how much that crushed me until the last few months. He always seemed a little afraid of my vagina - minimal touching and oral sex was rare. By the time things ended, we were maybe once every month or two. I never initiated - to be honest I preferred going solo.
I don't even know why I'm telling you guys all this, aside from maybe the thing is I don't have anyone I can talk about this stuff with. For a male sex forum, you guys seem oddly safe. I debated registering but finally just did it.
In the last 6 months since I've separated from my husband, I've come to realize I am a much, much more sexual creature than the last decade would indicate.
I discovered I am capable of multiple orgasms (and when I say multiple, I mean... once it was 15-20 in an hour, certainly not something that happens all the time but it was insane when it did). I also discovered I am capable of female ejaculation. I found this forum while looking for info on the A-spot (which is next on my bucket list).
It's been kind of mind-blowing. I always had a healthy sex drive when I was young but was never well informed, hence didn't have my first orgasm until age 21. And then I spent the last decade in a sort of sexual withdrawal - my ex is a great example of why a big dick does not equal great sex. So, discovering these things about myself is just really amazing and interestingly, has been very healing for me. Even stupid little things like comments some of you have made in various threads about how you always want your woman to have an orgasm has been really healing for me - because I went for so long with someone who was so indifferent to my sexual pleasure but then told me he felt emasculated because I didn't desire him anymore. So, thank you guys for that.
I'm a pretty private person so even posting here is a big step for me but I am bound and determined to heal and maybe someday if I meet someone so great that they would woo me away from the awesomeness that is single life, I will be able to have an amazing sex life for once.
So, in any case, I don't know if I'll post much but I'll lurk about in the gym and women's perspective forums. And I'll offer my perspective
Comment