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Kinda weird for me to be here but, well, hello... :)

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  • Kinda weird for me to be here but, well, hello... :)

    So weird in that I'm a woman and oddly, I have been lurking here for a few days and this forum has been rather helpful to me.

    So here's my story - I'm in my mid-30s and going through a divorce that I initiated. We've been separated for 6 months, were married 11 years. It was a very unhealthy situation.

    In regards to sex, I spent those 11 years with meaningless sex. I've made love once in my life and it wasn't with my husband. I've never had an orgasm from a man, was 21 when I had my first one solo.

    I spent 11 years with a man who told me flat out early on that it made no difference to him whether I had an orgasm or not. If I wanted one, then I took care of it myself. He'd "help" some but seemed like he was always just waiting for his turn, never really truly being interested in me. I felt like just a body to him sexually, which was interesting because in other ways in our life, I didn't feel that way. I never realized how much that crushed me until the last few months. He always seemed a little afraid of my vagina - minimal touching and oral sex was rare. By the time things ended, we were maybe once every month or two. I never initiated - to be honest I preferred going solo.

    I don't even know why I'm telling you guys all this, aside from maybe the thing is I don't have anyone I can talk about this stuff with. For a male sex forum, you guys seem oddly safe. I debated registering but finally just did it.

    In the last 6 months since I've separated from my husband, I've come to realize I am a much, much more sexual creature than the last decade would indicate.

    I discovered I am capable of multiple orgasms (and when I say multiple, I mean... once it was 15-20 in an hour, certainly not something that happens all the time but it was insane when it did). I also discovered I am capable of female ejaculation. I found this forum while looking for info on the A-spot (which is next on my bucket list).

    It's been kind of mind-blowing. I always had a healthy sex drive when I was young but was never well informed, hence didn't have my first orgasm until age 21. And then I spent the last decade in a sort of sexual withdrawal - my ex is a great example of why a big dick does not equal great sex. So, discovering these things about myself is just really amazing and interestingly, has been very healing for me. Even stupid little things like comments some of you have made in various threads about how you always want your woman to have an orgasm has been really healing for me - because I went for so long with someone who was so indifferent to my sexual pleasure but then told me he felt emasculated because I didn't desire him anymore. So, thank you guys for that.

    I'm a pretty private person so even posting here is a big step for me but I am bound and determined to heal and maybe someday if I meet someone so great that they would woo me away from the awesomeness that is single life, I will be able to have an amazing sex life for once.

    So, in any case, I don't know if I'll post much but I'll lurk about in the gym and women's perspective forums. And I'll offer my perspective

  • #2
    Welcome ScarletSkull! I am sorry that you have endured such unfulfillment and neglect in past relationships. However, I am very happy that you are discovering your sexual identity and triggers! We are a close community of men and women who all help each other out. It is somewhat like a big family trying to put together the pieces of a never-ending jigsaw puzzle called life We all see it from different angles, all are in possession of different pieces and all have different experiences of what fits where (no pun intended...well kind of hehe)

    Your perspectives will be invaluable to everyone here and we hope that our warm and safe community can offer you the same. The women's perspective forums are invaluable to us dopey males bumbling around in the complex arena of female sexuality, emotions and experiences However, feel free to post in any other forum! Actually having a wang is not required to post in the penis forums...many guys would no doubt love to hear your opinions, questions and general comment all over the site.

    I hope that we prove to be good friends and supportive in what is clearly a new and significant stage in your life. Thanks for sharing your story and I for one am very glad that things are looking up for you. Have a great day!
    27/07/13 - BPEL: 6.25" EG: 5.0"
    14/08/18 - BPEL: 7.1" EG: 5.3"

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    • #3


      So nice to have another woman on the forum who are willing to offer their perspective. I look forward on your posts and contribution on the forum.

      Welcome New Ladies

      Glad to have you with us, enjoy your time here!
      GOAL DIGGER !

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      • #4
        Welcome, and thank you for sharing your story! How brave of you! I'm very sorry you had to go through such an ordeal with your husband. No person should have to deal with a spouse who doesn't reciprocate their affection, but unfortunately it seems like there are a number of men out there who don't understand how much greater it is to give than to receive.

        Society teaches us to excessively repress our sexual curiosity, which in my opinion simply leads to fear of all things sex related, inability to have a mature discussion about sexual topics, and a lack of knowledge which creates all kinds of problems. I'm glad that you are learning to embrace your sexuality in a healthy way, and that you are on a path to bettering your life. I'm also glad that this forum has been helpful for you. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

        I want you to know that your wisdom and perspective as a woman are highly valued among us men here at PE Gym, and I hope and believe that the other members will treat you with respect. We don't have a lot of ladies on here frequently, so thank you very much for offering to provide helpful input. You might see some questions now and then that seem kind of dumb to you, but most of the posters mean well and are just uninformed.
        Sequoia Tree
        Senior Member
        Member of the Month July 2016
        Last edited by Sequoia Tree; 06-22-2015, 12:24 AM.
        Well-endowed is a state of mind.

        Sequoia's Wood Log!
        Pre PE
        BPEL: 6.75"
        MEG: 5.125"
        Current
        BPEL: 7.75"
        MEG: 5.3"

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        • #5
          to the gym ScarletSkull!

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          • #6
            Thank you everyone! I hope I can be helpful with my perspective. I know I've already been helped immensely by you guys

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            • #7
              Hi ScarletSkull,

              I'm sure you'll be helpful here, we need more woman at the Gym!

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              • #8
                Hi ScarletSkull, and welcome to the gym. It's great that you have decided to join as we could always use a little more female perspective here. On the other side of the coin, the gym is chalked full of great guys that will be more than happy to offer a male perspective to you whenever you should need it. I think its great that there are women here at the gym. Have you ever seen what a mad house it is when a bunch of guys get together without a woman to keep us in check!? Next thing you know there is empty beer bottles all over the place, bologna stuck to the ceiling, and the dog is missing! Oh wait, that's just my bachelor days I'm thinking of.

                Either way, welcome and we look forward to seeing you around the gym.

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                • #9
                  Hello Scarlet and welcome to the Gym!

                  You will find this to be a safe and friendly place. There are many kind and tenderhearted members here at PEGym. Surely our common feeling toward you is one of friendship and a desire to help undo the hurt you've been through. You have already had some very kind posts welcoming you. Let me add my thoughts and warm wishes to those of my friends.
                  Marriage can be a most wonderful union between a man and a woman. I am so sorry for what you have experienced. Part of maturing and getting ready for marriage is the realization that life isn't all about what I can get...but rather about what I can give.
                  My goal in my marriage is to help complete my wife, to bring her joy and to affirm her in every way possible. She completes my life, filling in all the little gaps that are there. We nourish each other and look out for each other.
                  In the wonderful area of love making, our desire is to fully satisfy each other. My goal is to fill my wife with pleasure beyond her knowing...beyond anything she ever expected or thought possible. I know that is her goal for me as well. We are far from perfect, but when we screw up we quickly apologize and do all we can to comfort each other.
                  Fidelity is just a given. I desire no other woman other than my wife. When making love, I'm much more concerned about bringing her pleasure...seeing her orgasm again and again. Like you describe in your own experience, she can do that. It brings me such joy to know I can help her get to that point again and again...whether through oral sex which I know she loves or through intercourse with our without our little toys.
                  You should know that there are men out there who have hearts like mine...who will love you, appreciate all you bring into a relationship, who will want only you...forever. You should wait to find that special person. Then you will know true love and true joy. That is my wish for you. I hope your time here at PEGym is wonderful and that your life can one day be absolutely overflowing with joy and happiness.
                  So glad you found us!
                  Start BPEL 4.9 MSEG 4.7
                  Current ​BPEL 7 MSEG 5.87
                  Goal 8x6
                  Getinbig's progress log
                  Getinbig DP4000 Progress Log

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Welcome to the gym! Some of the fabulous men said it all and then some. We are looking forward to your input.
                    "A negative mind will never get you a positive life.”

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                    • #11
                      Welcome to the gym ScarletSkull!

                      Its lovely to have another oddly weird woman join us, we have a few and they are all just as odd so don't worry. Just kidding .

                      Seemed like your ex was a little selfish in the sack, but no need to dwell on the past, the future is bright and here is now. Partnered orgasms, can be difficult for some males (me) to achieve too believe it or not, I believe continued solo practice helps and eventually you will be relaxed enough with a partner to experience it.

                      We do have some serious discussions here every once in a blue moon and are happy to help each other figure out ways to move forward.

                      Good luck and enjoy yourself!

                      P.S. Cool avatar!
                      "Those who know others have knowledge,
                      those who know themselves have insight.
                      Those who master others have force,
                      those who master themselves have strength". - Lao Tzu

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Welcome. As others have said, always good to have more women here...your viewpoints and takes on things are invaluable, and also we sometimes need you to hit us on the head and set us straight, especially when it comes to size.

                        Also glad to hear you are finding yourself and got out of that toxic marriage. Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be huge both for girls and my male ego...sex to me is more about sending the girl over the moon than getting off myself. Arguably anyone (either male or female) who only views sex as a way to get pleasure and themselves off (and not their partner) needs to get their head examined, imo.

                        As for the weird part....I learned a number of years ago normal is boring. Weird ones as the best. lol
                        Original/Current Stats:
                        2014-09-01: BPEL 6.8"/NBPEL 6" MEG 5.0", BPFL 5"/NBPFL 4" FG 4.4"
                        2019-03-16: BPEL 8"/NBPEL 6.75" MEG 5.2", BPFL 6.75"/NBPFL 5.5" FG 4.5"

                        Goals:
                        Realistic: BPEL 8.5"/NBPEL 7.5" MEG 5.5"
                        Optimistic: BPEL 9"/NBPEL 8" MEG 5.75"
                        Dream: BPEL 10"/NBPEL 9" MEG 6.5"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Welcome Scarlet! Sorry to hear about the bad situation you have endured all these years. You will find that the gym is chock full of wonderful men and women. They are great listeners and share their wisdom freely. Consider this a second home.

                          I don't post as often as I should here, but I stop by and read posts daily. I can tell you that becoming a member of the gym has helped me improve many areas of my life. I am sure it will help you in some way, too.

                          Wishing you a bright future that is full of love!
                          A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.
                          - Bruce Lee

                          My Progress: pencil_puller's log

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hopefully we will continue to bring some sunshine into your life, Scarlet. You've been very transparent with us in your initial post and that takes honesty and courage. We're excited to have another female around to help provide that unique female perspective. You join Frog and a nice group of women who really aren't weird at all...just different from the guys here and we celebrate the difference! Not weird at all...just very interesting!

                            Originally posted by ScarletSkull View Post
                            Thank you everyone! I hope I can be helpful with my perspective. I know I've already been helped immensely by you guys
                            Start BPEL 4.9 MSEG 4.7
                            Current ​BPEL 7 MSEG 5.87
                            Goal 8x6
                            Getinbig's progress log
                            Getinbig DP4000 Progress Log

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Welcome Scarlet, to the GYM! It's always a pleasure to welcome a new female member here to help try and balance the testosterone! Your honest and forthright intro is indicative of just the style of female we need around here. Someone who will give us a true and genuine perspective from a female point of view, yet have the courage to kick us in the "mebes"(SORRY MEBES!) when we get outta line! Please freely post your perspectives on all the forums, as your input will always cause us guys to pause & reconsider or get busy improving not only our attitude, but perhaps changing our own perspectives as well! So GLAD you joined us!
                              jockinthebox
                              Retired Moderator
                              Member of the Month May 2015
                              PEGym Hero
                              Last edited by jockinthebox; 06-22-2015, 09:46 AM.

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