Asking for ANY advice to my damaged penis. Desperately need help going in a psychosis

[Dfaux97]

I started P.E.ing over a month ago with JP90 routine. I got way over zealous with my stretches and jelqing and i got a black bruise half the size of a penny on my left side of my penis. Since this has happened my penis has been pale and the first two weeks the glans were cold. I was able to get hard by week 3 (very weak erections) and would get random very WEAK morning erections.

My penis does not fill up nearly as much in the head or the corpus spongiosum. Its been a couple days over a month now, and I don't seem to have hard flaccid that much but my penis head is really pale alot of times. I'm afraid I was stretching to hard and lacked oxygen to my penis head too long or messed up some valves. I accidentally jelqed at like 40% eq which caused the bruise. I was doing manual stretches but wasn't doing them for more than 25 seconds a time, and helicoptering for 15 and letting it sit before I proceeded.

For a minute I really thought I was healing but it seems that I have plateaued. I woke up today with with a 90% boner and slept it off, and woke up later with a chub and the weirdest thing happened...when I went pee, the base was erect and the corpus spongiosum and head were completely flaccid, but the head was pink. Pretty sure I did some nerve damage that seems to be healing, (i can feel even 1 tissue paper edge lightly rubbing against it), but what gets me is my EQ. I took a viagra a week and a half ago on my birthday, and it was the hardest I have been in a while, but one thing I noticed was where ever my hand was, would turn white completely and not fill back up for a few seconds....seems like extreme lack of blood flow down there.

I'm so scared I did permanent damage just from my 2nd week of P.E. I started taking gingki biloba, and l - arginine, putting vitamin e oil on it, and heating it. heating it makes my penis look pink and alive again. I would've seen a doctor a lonnng time ago, but my insurance is shitty. Is it worth it a month later? I seem to have developed a varicose vein on the lower underside of my penis where my testicles meet the penis. ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP. I'm only 20, and I am so so scared. Since this happened, I've managed to get a few boners during the day, at about 85% eq, but the part near my circumcision scar just feels lifeless and squishy...ughhh. My glans remain soft, while inflated when hard - is this normal? My penis head is normally pink all over but theres a center part where its pink and fades to pale-ish/light light pinkish all the way to the underside.

I feel like I'm trapped in a bad bad episode of twilight zone that no one will ever be able to relate to. I am desperate and getting severely depressed. I start classes on Monday that I paid so much money for, how can I get this off my mind.

p.s. i've showed it to two of my friend and they both say it looks 100% normal to them, and my boyfriend claims I was really really hard the other night (not on viagra) could it all be psychological? for corpus spongiosum to the head it feels loose and distached. Really think I overstretched my penis beyond repair :/

[Pegasus]

Sounds like anxiety.

[Dangler]

Agreed, give it time, and less self diagnosis, which feeds the Anxiety monster.

See your doctor or a urologist. Get it dealt with by a doctor, you are going into a nervous state which makes things worse.

[Dfaux97]

Thank you, I do realize when my anxiety is bad my situation is worst. I'm just afraid its gonna be a wasted visit and wasted money...everything I've read doctors honestly seem useless...

[Dfaux97]

I heard back in the 40's, in the military if you had chlamydia they'd take a hammer to your pecker to take out the puss....now if people can survive that I'm sure my dick can survive 10 mins of stretching and jelqing....Some days its perfectly fine, other days its bad

[PointyStick]

You said it yourself, it's getting better. Just leave it alone. No testing your penis or using it for any sexual activities until it's recovered. This might sound difficult but it can be the difference between a long recovery and a short recovery. And a month is not long enough to determine if a problem is permanent, you still have time to heal.

[Dfaux97]

Just an update 3 months after initial injury and things haven't gotten too much better. My glans look dead and pale when flaccid most the time. My corpus spongiosum is weak weak weak when erected and my erection dies in a matter of 15 seconds without stimulation. I haven't gotten any real morning erections since I hurt myself. I've been taking gingko biloba and l-arginine since around the time of my injury. I saw a URO, and he laughed me off and was out of the room in 4-5 mins. I'm only 20 years old and this is one of the most depressing things I've been through....and I've been through some shit. My partner and I haven't been intimate in nearly a hundred days and it's taking a toll on us and my mental health. Really wishing I could go back in time and stop myself from the 10 minute stretch session that has wrecked my life the past 3 months. If there's anyone that has gone through anything similar would love to get some advice. I'm sitting beside myself at this point.

[CUSP82]

What have you done to make it better?
And while you're at it I want you to take your finger and press on the fleshy part of your arm. Leave it there fr 5 seconds and then take your finger off and tell me what color he skin is.

[Dfaux97]

Hey CUSP82,
Thank you for the reply. When I press my arm skin it gets a bit lighter/paler than the rest, but fills up in a second. My penile glans is like a greyish reddish color w some green tints and when pressure is put on it it goes dead white and takes about 7-10 seconds to get back to the dull greenish/pink color. Before any of this my penis head was very red/pink. (I'm Irish & German)...
the left base hurts periodically throughout the day, and there's a lumpy string like cord right at the base where it connects to my torso. This isn't something in my head - my boyfriend is noticing all these things as well.

I've tried mediation, initially rested 3 weeks, heat wraps, l-arginine & gingko biloba, and provoking erections without manual stimulations (damn near impossible to get 100%)...before this I was waking up every day with raging wood, and could get a strong hard boner any time I wanted with no pain or discoloration. I was overzealous initially and I realize that was dumb of me. I don't blame this on PE as I know there are hundreds of thousands of you who experienced success...I blame my improper technique. Some days are better than others though.

[Pegasus]

Try the Hans protocol and deal with the anxiety.