Hey guys,
I've been lurking here for about a week now, finally got the time and energy to make a post about my situation.
I'm 31 years old, never had ANY problems with sex, never had ED. Been with dozens of partners. Over the last year, I had a serious girlfriend who lived overseas, so I spent a lot of time masturbating and watching porn (I didn't want to cheat on her).
Please keep in mind all of the following occurred in the last 3 weeks of me living in my home country, right before I moved overseas, so it was a period of extreme stress—which may have played a contributing role in etiology.
About 3 weeks ago, I developed a very small (3/16"), painful, raised bump in my perineal area, about halfway between the anus and testicles. The bump was, I think, in the subcutaneous layer of skin, that is, it was movable in that thick layer of skin that covers the perineum. Or, it was actually below the skin, yet still movable. I don't think it was an ingrown hair, it was too large and too deep. The bump appeared to be on an artery/vein, and the vein was swollen from the anus to the bump itself, and smaller from the bump to the penis. This fact scared me and made me wonder if the bump was blocking blood flow to my penis. I tried to see a dermatologist about the bump, but my GP didn't approve the referral until 6 DAYS later (stupid HMOs).
Around this time, I was masturbating to some porn. I occasionally do masturbation with very little pressure on the penis until I am ready to come, it's an extreme form of edging, I guess. It involves a fair amount of ballooning. Anyway, I've been doing this for years and years with no problems. But this time, when I came, it hurt a bit.]
Several hours later, I got horny again and began to masturbate. I got hard, but when I stopped touching, it felt like the hardness would not go away, as if there was a blood flow issue. Almost as if a metal stick was going straight up and down my dick, but the hardness was only in the center, not on the outsides. So I just masturbated to ejaculation, and this time, it hurt a little bit more, like I could sensitively feel the ejaculate running through my urethra in my penis. I don't know if this is related to the bump issue above or not.
[NOTE: I can post a picture of the bump if it is requested].
I finally did see the dermatologist, and showed him a photo of the bump, and he said it looked like an ingrown hair. However, he wasn't able to feel the bump or look at it in real life, because it had "receded".
A few days later, I developed pain in my perineal/prostate area, and almost total loss of libido. My penis felt, and still feels, totally dead, as if nothing can "wake it up". If I force myself with porn and lots of stimulation of erogenous zones, I can get it up, and get totally hard, and ejaculate successfully, but it feels like I am straining to ejaculate. I used to get random boners in the shower/after getting home from the gym. Since just 3 weeks ago, suddenly none of that anymore. Masturbation/sex is now accompanied by great fear of ejaculation because I don't want to feel that pain I felt a week ago.
I saw a urologist, said I had pain in my prostate area, and showed him a photo of the bump as well, but he just shrugged and said he thought it was unrelated. He gave me a digital exam and I described my symptoms, and he diagnosed me with Prostatitis. However, based on further research, this is what my hypothesis is (I'm a smart guy and have been doing medical research on my own time for years. I was even recently asked by my dermatologist if I was in the medical field, so please bear with me):
What I believe have is not prostatitis, but damage to the penile tissue/vein/bloodflow caused by that bump, whatever it was—could have been a cyst or something. I am only 31 and in fairly good cardiovascular health, so I don't think it was a typical arteriosclerosis. I believe that the penile artery may have been damaged, or at least blocked for some time, causing loss of blood flow necessary to the penis for spontaneous erections. I can still GET hard, but it takes lots of effort and blood does not flow easily to the penis. I have to force it by flexing my PC/BC muscles.
I don't know, however, if a blocked penile artery could cause the bump the size of the bump I had, which was about 3/16 of an inch wide. I hope it could not, and that therefore I am wrong, because I don't believe there is a good prognosis for this, but I could be totally mistaken.
Two other points of note:
- I suddenly am starting to get mild erections during sleep. I will often wake up to an erection
- I have occasional pain and tightness in the anal sphincter. I suspect this could be related to over-masturbation and ballooning.
- I recently had what I believe was a mild anal fissure that was relatively painless, but in external appearance looked EXACTLY like the small crack that is shown near the anus when googling for "anal fissure". It appears to have healed on its own about a week ago. I know that anal fissures can be associated with ED.
----------------------------
Questions:
1. Does my self-diagnosis seem to hold any water, or am I freaking out about nothing? Is most of this psychological? I can see psychology playing a role in ED, but not in actually causing pain during ejaculation.
2. I can feel a "vein" or "artery" in my lower scrotal sack, the same one that runs from the perineum into the scrotum. If I pinch my scrotum and roll the skin between my fingers, I can feel that artery, like a very thin piece of string. Is this normal?
3. Could my problem be unrelated to the bump, but only caused by years of edging and ballooning, putting stress on my pelvic muscles and system?
4. What might be my next steps? I am scheduled for a visit with a renowned urologist on Tuesday. Should I get a penile ultrasound?
5. Should I refrain from any sort of sexual activity, including masturbation?
----------------------------
I am trying to keep a positive attitude and use this as an opportunity to quit porn, which I have been addicted to for over a decade, and work on my emotional relationship with my girlfriend, who is being very supportive of me during this time.
But, this is totally scaring me shitless. I cannot concentrate on work. I am trying to start a business and I just cannot concentrate on anything now. I am scared that I have permanent damage and I won't ever be able to be the man I used to be.
PLEASE help.
I've been lurking here for about a week now, finally got the time and energy to make a post about my situation.
I'm 31 years old, never had ANY problems with sex, never had ED. Been with dozens of partners. Over the last year, I had a serious girlfriend who lived overseas, so I spent a lot of time masturbating and watching porn (I didn't want to cheat on her).
Please keep in mind all of the following occurred in the last 3 weeks of me living in my home country, right before I moved overseas, so it was a period of extreme stress—which may have played a contributing role in etiology.
About 3 weeks ago, I developed a very small (3/16"), painful, raised bump in my perineal area, about halfway between the anus and testicles. The bump was, I think, in the subcutaneous layer of skin, that is, it was movable in that thick layer of skin that covers the perineum. Or, it was actually below the skin, yet still movable. I don't think it was an ingrown hair, it was too large and too deep. The bump appeared to be on an artery/vein, and the vein was swollen from the anus to the bump itself, and smaller from the bump to the penis. This fact scared me and made me wonder if the bump was blocking blood flow to my penis. I tried to see a dermatologist about the bump, but my GP didn't approve the referral until 6 DAYS later (stupid HMOs).
Around this time, I was masturbating to some porn. I occasionally do masturbation with very little pressure on the penis until I am ready to come, it's an extreme form of edging, I guess. It involves a fair amount of ballooning. Anyway, I've been doing this for years and years with no problems. But this time, when I came, it hurt a bit.]
Several hours later, I got horny again and began to masturbate. I got hard, but when I stopped touching, it felt like the hardness would not go away, as if there was a blood flow issue. Almost as if a metal stick was going straight up and down my dick, but the hardness was only in the center, not on the outsides. So I just masturbated to ejaculation, and this time, it hurt a little bit more, like I could sensitively feel the ejaculate running through my urethra in my penis. I don't know if this is related to the bump issue above or not.
[NOTE: I can post a picture of the bump if it is requested].
I finally did see the dermatologist, and showed him a photo of the bump, and he said it looked like an ingrown hair. However, he wasn't able to feel the bump or look at it in real life, because it had "receded".
A few days later, I developed pain in my perineal/prostate area, and almost total loss of libido. My penis felt, and still feels, totally dead, as if nothing can "wake it up". If I force myself with porn and lots of stimulation of erogenous zones, I can get it up, and get totally hard, and ejaculate successfully, but it feels like I am straining to ejaculate. I used to get random boners in the shower/after getting home from the gym. Since just 3 weeks ago, suddenly none of that anymore. Masturbation/sex is now accompanied by great fear of ejaculation because I don't want to feel that pain I felt a week ago.
I saw a urologist, said I had pain in my prostate area, and showed him a photo of the bump as well, but he just shrugged and said he thought it was unrelated. He gave me a digital exam and I described my symptoms, and he diagnosed me with Prostatitis. However, based on further research, this is what my hypothesis is (I'm a smart guy and have been doing medical research on my own time for years. I was even recently asked by my dermatologist if I was in the medical field, so please bear with me):
What I believe have is not prostatitis, but damage to the penile tissue/vein/bloodflow caused by that bump, whatever it was—could have been a cyst or something. I am only 31 and in fairly good cardiovascular health, so I don't think it was a typical arteriosclerosis. I believe that the penile artery may have been damaged, or at least blocked for some time, causing loss of blood flow necessary to the penis for spontaneous erections. I can still GET hard, but it takes lots of effort and blood does not flow easily to the penis. I have to force it by flexing my PC/BC muscles.
I don't know, however, if a blocked penile artery could cause the bump the size of the bump I had, which was about 3/16 of an inch wide. I hope it could not, and that therefore I am wrong, because I don't believe there is a good prognosis for this, but I could be totally mistaken.
Two other points of note:
- I suddenly am starting to get mild erections during sleep. I will often wake up to an erection
- I have occasional pain and tightness in the anal sphincter. I suspect this could be related to over-masturbation and ballooning.
- I recently had what I believe was a mild anal fissure that was relatively painless, but in external appearance looked EXACTLY like the small crack that is shown near the anus when googling for "anal fissure". It appears to have healed on its own about a week ago. I know that anal fissures can be associated with ED.
----------------------------
Questions:
1. Does my self-diagnosis seem to hold any water, or am I freaking out about nothing? Is most of this psychological? I can see psychology playing a role in ED, but not in actually causing pain during ejaculation.
2. I can feel a "vein" or "artery" in my lower scrotal sack, the same one that runs from the perineum into the scrotum. If I pinch my scrotum and roll the skin between my fingers, I can feel that artery, like a very thin piece of string. Is this normal?
3. Could my problem be unrelated to the bump, but only caused by years of edging and ballooning, putting stress on my pelvic muscles and system?
4. What might be my next steps? I am scheduled for a visit with a renowned urologist on Tuesday. Should I get a penile ultrasound?
5. Should I refrain from any sort of sexual activity, including masturbation?
----------------------------
I am trying to keep a positive attitude and use this as an opportunity to quit porn, which I have been addicted to for over a decade, and work on my emotional relationship with my girlfriend, who is being very supportive of me during this time.
But, this is totally scaring me shitless. I cannot concentrate on work. I am trying to start a business and I just cannot concentrate on anything now. I am scared that I have permanent damage and I won't ever be able to be the man I used to be.
PLEASE help.
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