kind of scared - New ED!

[gorgonator Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gorgonator]

okay i apologize if i end up writing an essay here but i want to give enough information and ask the right questions.

I'm 24, virgin (yeah i know very sad). Lately and I think only really lately I've had some serious ED issues. I think it all started about 6 months ago when I started to jelq (not sure why i did since i'm relatively okay with my size 6.5 NBPEL and 5 girth). I noticed when i was out on a date and brought the girl back to my place about 5 months back, given I had some performance anxiety and half a bottle of wine in me, i was making out with her, had her shirt up, laid her down on my bed, fingered her with her pants on (sorry for being graphic).. we were at this for about 45 minutes and nothing was happening down there. She was like "is everything okay" and at first i didn't even get it because I wasn't even thinking that I was supposed to have an erection by then. But then I got really self conscious. She tried jerking me off and nothing at all was happening. She was incredibly beautiful too. Anyways she stayed over that night and we spooned all night but i had ZERO going on down there. Even in the morning when i usually have a pretty hard boner. When she left i tried rubbing one out and could only get like 50% hard but still came. I attributed this to performance anxiety.

I've also been watching porn daily for about 2 years now and that has probably caused a lot of the problem for me. While watching porn I can get really hard but i do still need stimulation to get it up. I stopped cold turkey about a month ago and have lessened my masturbation to about once every other day. Some days i find it hard to even get remotely hard. It's like my dick doesn't respond to any stimulation and has a very dull ache. I try fantasizing and it only works sometimes. It was getting a bit better the other day and i got myself a pretty hard erection (maybe 8 EQ) in the shower. After reading these forums I did some very mild jelqing and stretching (nothing serious) after jerking off and since then I am completely limp. I have a feeling that jelqing is one of the main culprits and my penis just can't deal with that strain.

I remember just thinking about sex and a slight touch used to get me pretty hard a couple years back! However, I have no idea if I have ever got hard just by looking at a girl in real life ever without any touch to be honest. One time a couple years back when i was dancing close to a girl i got a 60%-70% boner but it was the touch that set it off. Also I don't know if i've ever had an erection without any touching at all other than in the mornings (in my adult life that is, i'm sure i did a lot when i was in highschool). From what I've read, this is not normal.

I'm at the point where i just want to not even touch myself at all for like 3 weeks and see if i normalize myself. I have been taking 4 of the 5 g's -- ginkgo, garlic, green tea, and ginseng pills (couldn't find ginger pills)-- as of yesterday. I have read about it but i'm curious as to what is the best time to be ingesting these pills/ with or without meals/ and in what combination? no one has said anything about it really. I think these variables would make a difference. I also foolishly got some supplement called "conquest extra strength sexual stimulant" or something that has l-arginine and stuff in it and have taking that for about 4 or 5 days with no real results.

I'm really hoping this doesn't permanently ruin my life here and that it is temporary and easy to fix with time and patience. i'm still rather young and very recently I've been getting a lot of attention from women but I can't really follow through because i know i can't perform!

thanks for reading.

[ErictheGed Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ErictheGed]

Its cool man you've not ruined your life! You said you often get morning wood, thats good. Don't panic that you're not getting hard without stimulation, a lot of guys here are the same. The g supplements will most likely start to have a positive effect soon.

You said you jelqed/stretched just after jacking off? Thats probably not going to yield a great workout. Best to masturbate at another time, or start to do build up some edging time before blowing.

If you feel jelqing was affecting you adversely, were you possibly gripping too hard, or doing a huge amount of reps? Your dick won't like that at first.

Sounds like the fact you've been building the event up that you hit some serious anxiety and couldn't get a boner. Don't freak out about it, you got a good sized dong, and this site has amazing info on erectile dysfunction, and some great advice on all things related. So you're in the right place, others will come in with more knowledge on the subject, but i'd say for now just relax and get aquainted wih the site.

[vulcan Retired ModeratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close vulcan]

Gorgonator - the same thing happened to me for the first time last night & I am 35 yrs old & very experienced. Once I got that anxious thought that I SHOULD have an erection, I was no longer relaxed & that was it. After much frustration/spooning & going down on her ~ Come the morning I did get very hard & we had intercourse for about ten minutes but then the fear came back into my head. The whole thing freaked me out. I did talk it through with her & will see her again. (used the oral tips from that porn actress video on cunnilingus that was posted on here a while ago - really may have saved the day)

You are making the right moves in PORN reduction/ elimination. I do not have all the answers - I just wanted to make you realize that it is fairly common. Could you talk through your anxiety with the girl, it could help to take pressure off your shoulders. I know that some couples go through therapy for this where they purposefully take penetration out of the mix & then build it back in.

[slowhiker Member Find all posts View Profile Close slowhiker]

that happens to me sometimes when im in a bad mood or just dont have my mind on the prize. it was probably anxiety since it was your first time. lost my virginity a week ago to my gf whom i know very well and i felt comfortable with her. so my erection wasnt a problem. you should take a break man maybe itll get better. try not to overwork your babymaker...you only get one.

[gorgonator Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gorgonator]

thanks guys!

well here's a very recent addition. so tonight i got some random girl back to my place (from some club). heavy makeout sesh, fingering her like nuts, doing my work with my tongue etc.. she was one hairy ozzy down there let me tell you but pretty damn fine (literally got a hair stuck in my mouth at one point like a curb your enthusiasm episode haha). anyways, NOTHING AT ALL!!!! no boner! I had about 6-7 drinks in me, and was drunk but not hammered. she was trying to jerk me off but nothing at all.. nice gal too. MAN! this makes me angry.. I did my best to be like "i'm so sorry i think i drank too much". she decided to leave soon after i made her cum and i didn't bother asking her for her number since i could never face her again. how utterly embarrassing. luckily i'm decent with gals feelings and know how to work my magic (non-penis magic that is!).. if only i could get my hard cock in her, i'd love it. she was screaming for me to just fuck her at one point but i had nothing going on down there at all. so sad! i'll apologize to my roommates tomorrow for the noise!

If i could have waited until the morn i might have had the lucky morning wood (though i doubt it) and have done some dirty things but she left.. dammit. this is so frustrating for me. at least she wasn't repulsed that i couldn't perform and was nice about it. i was as flacid as could be.. nothing at all! she must have felt bad.

does this sound like i should go see a doc for some meds? or just stick with no masturbation and the 5 g's for like a month? I am at my wits end. I would never masturbate ever again if it made me normalize. I really hope i can get better. Even if I premature ejaced in her, i'd rather that than nothing at all.

It's funny too becuase i was looking at girls today on the street and in my head i was like "there is no way i'd ever have sex with any of these girls". I think i'm just so picky. I'm not gay at all (not remotely attracted to men in the least), i just think porn may have skewed my mind a bit over the years. But i've always been picky with women even when taking year long breaks from porb. maybe i'm borderline asexual? though that doesn't make sense since i have masturbated to hetero porn my whole life and get off to it.

again, sorry for the rant. your thoughts?

[vulcan Retired ModeratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close vulcan]

It does sound (and I am the same) like you have over fed your visual ~ masturbatory habit. Worldwide - it must be so common, but I had to read about it on here, for the penny to drop.

I now want to stop all porn, I know that when I do - suddenly I re-align to be completely turned on by the woman I am with.

I found an interesting article by Naomi Wolf on the insidious nature of porn, can easily Google it.

I do not think you are asexual, you just need to recondition your brain onto real world women - I know it can be done.

[Jason - PE ! Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jason - PE !]

If this happens again i would suggest buying a bathmate to get them rock hard erections back

[gorgonator Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gorgonator]

I found an interesting article by Naomi Wolf on the insidious nature of porn, can easily Google it.

I do not think you are asexual, you just need to recondition your brain onto real world women - I know it can be done.

Vulcan: yes I have read that article before. It opened my eyes and is scarily truthful. That is why I haven't looked at any porn for over a month now and will continue to not look at porn probably for the rest of my life. I think it will make me appreciate women in REAL life so much more. I have actually gone without porn for over a year before and since i had no sexual encounters then, it's hard to say if there was a positive effect. But even when looking at porn i was so much hornier and would masturbate in the shower or night without any porn often. now i can barely even do that.

Jason: does that penis pump stuff even work at making you get erections easier? i don't want to rely on some device to get erections.

Also, my question is that, if I do masturbate, should I never masturbate in the morning? I feel like it just uses my morning wood and no real excitement to get aroused since i already am. probably not a good habit to develop. I think I might stick to just before bed as that seems the best way to normalize for me.

[gorgonator Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gorgonator]

okay, here is something new.. don't know exactly where to post it so i figure i'll just add to this thread.
Lately, over the past 5-6 days (may have been developing for much longer) the area between my scrotum and anus (perineum?) - i just call it a choda - has been having a dull ache. I don't know how to describe the feeling, it isn't pain really but it certainly is unfomfortable. enough that i cannot sit down on a surface for a more than 2 minutes without needing to get up. I'm fine walking around mostly and laying down, but sitting is pretty bad.

The feeling seems to be at the base (inner most point) of the penis.. like right behind my sack.. probably where the muscle for the kegels is. i don't know if that is also where the prostate is.. I googled it and all i mostly came upon was prostate issues like prostatis or potentially STD's. I'm 24 so i hope it's not prostatis, and if you read this thread you'd know that i haven't had vaginal intercourse so i don't know how i could have gotten an STD (unless you can get one from a feeble flacid HJ!). I don't feel burning or pain when urinating either.

Has anyone experienced this feeling? you think it's just the muscle or something? I tried massaging it for a while but it didn't seem to make it feel any better. If it is something more serious, that may be an underline cause of my ED?

I will try putting ice on it tonight. If it does not start to feel better by monday i will see a doctor for sure, i know you guys aren't docs.

(ps. I haven't masturbated in 5 days, and doesn't really seem to be doing anything in increasing my libido/sex drive or helping my ED)

[kingpole Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close kingpole]

okay, here is something new.. don't know exactly where to post it so i figure i'll just add to this thread.
Lately, over the past 5-6 days (may have been developing for much longer) the area between my scrotum and anus (perineum?) - i just call it a choda - has been having a dull ache. I don't know how to describe the feeling, it isn't pain really but it certainly is unfomfortable. enough that i cannot sit down on a surface for a more than 2 minutes without needing to get up. I'm fine walking around mostly and laying down, but sitting is pretty bad.

The feeling seems to be at the base (inner most point) of the penis.. like right behind my sack.. probably where the muscle for the kegels is. i don't know if that is also where the prostate is.. I googled it and all i mostly came upon was prostate issues like prostatis or potentially STD's. I'm 24 so i hope it's not prostatis, and if you read this thread you'd know that i haven't had vaginal intercourse so i don't know how i could have gotten an STD (unless you can get one from a feeble flacid HJ!). I don't feel burning or pain when urinating either.

Has anyone experienced this feeling? you think it's just the muscle or something? I tried massaging it for a while but it didn't seem to make it feel any better. If it is something more serious, that may be an underline cause of my ED?

I will try putting ice on it tonight. If it does not start to feel better by monday i will see a doctor for sure, i know you guys aren't docs.

(ps. I haven't masturbated in 5 days, and doesn't really seem to be doing anything in increasing my libido/sex drive or helping my ED)

The rest of the issue the 50% boner is likely due to alcohol, and watching porn. The pain in your taint that could be any number of things. Do you ride a bicycle?

[gorgonator Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gorgonator]

The rest of the issue the 50% boner is likely due to alcohol, and watching porn. The pain in your taint that could be any number of things. Do you ride a bicycle?

yeah, I figure the alcohol and porn was probably what did it all before. but as for the pain in my "taint" and for the recent serious ED-- I don't ride a bike at all. The symptoms are much wrose today. I can't sit at all. The feeling is coming from like the base of my penis deep in my pelvic region. It's the weekend so I'm heading to the hospital (i'm in canada). This sucks, but my ED has gotten much worse over the last few weeks and i think it may be something as serious as prostatitus since this feels terrible. could barely sleep at all last night and i think the ice/massaging it only made it much more aggravated. had to wake up several times to urinate since the pressure from my bladder would press up against what seems liek my porstate, sending signals making me need to (no burning at all though so it's not like a UTI at all) BAH!! sucks.

anyways, i'll see how it all goes!

[gorgonator Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gorgonator]

So going to the ER proved nothing useful. other than the fact that they checked for a lot of things and everything came back clear. No STD no prostate issues (yeah he stuck his finger up my ass.. terrible feeling) no kind of infection or anything. Referred me to a urologist but that might take more than a month to go see one.

So i did a lot of research and i'm almost certain i found out my problem and it doesn't look pretty at all. It's called pudendal nerve entrapment (PNE) Pudendal nerve entrapment - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

it completely matches my symptoms and makes sense why they couldn't find any other problems. It basically feels like a pinched nerve down there that radiates through my penis and somewhat into my balls. it is the most genuinely uncomfortable feeling i've gone through.. not pain but i have no idea how else to describe it but i can't take my mind off of it and only standing or sitting on a toilet effectively relieves the feeling for the most part.

it can be caused simply by sitting down too much which explains my case too because i've been sitting a lot over the course of the past 2 years working on my thesis/not doing enough stretching exercise. It also explains my ED and loss of sensation in my penis over the past week (there is a heightened sensation right now but it is because of the pinched nerve spazzing out i guess). it really feels terrible.

so this fucking sucks.. hopefully it resolves through non invasive means.. i would hate to go down the surgery route.. especially since recovery is only like 60% and the surgery isn't even done in canada (only select cities globally).......... fuck!