Daily Exercise: Shittin' Shlong Stretches

**NP97** · 05-01-2010

Previously known as poopy pulls. Named for a good time to do them, not unlike piss pulls. The reason they are done post-shit is for relaxation that is needed whilst doing the first part of them.

You must be relaxed. This is key to the first half. After a shit you want to stretch your penis out very easily. Give it a nice stretch, pulling on it far, but NOT hard. You want to hold the stretch for 1-2 seconds with no involuntary muscle pull-back. Hence, needing to be relaxed. After the stretch keep your grip but let it go back so you aren't pulling. You want to do 20 reps of this. All the while keeping your free hand at the base of your peeper to keep the skin back.

After you're done with that, take your dingaling and do a 20 second hold. Like before, keep your other hand at the base. Don't push back the skin, but just keep it there so you're stretching your shlong rather than the skin.

For each successive poop that day you want to add 5 reps and 5 seconds to the exercise.

This is a good stretch that will keep your flaccid hang up all day (especially if you have the squirts). It also will help improve flaccid size with a slight (maybe... untested) improvement on erect length.

**Avenger** · 05-01-2010

You mean each successive poop per day or in general? Because no one wants to sit on the john all day.

Thanks for the post!

**ErictheGed** · 05-02-2010

Originally Posted by NP97

This is a good stretch that will keep your flaccid hang up all day (especially if you have the squirts)

Haaaaaahahaha aw man i was howling at that! But yeah good stuff, i'm gonna incorporate them, go for a shit, read the newspaper, and get a quick willy-workout.

**kingpole** · 05-02-2010

Originally Posted by ErictheGed

Haaaaaahahaha aw man i was howling at that! But yeah good stuff, i'm gonna incorporate them, go for a shit, read the newspaper, and get a quick willy-workout.

Don't forget to wash your hands real good before you return to the kitchen.

**Retinoid** · 05-02-2010

All I have to say is:

What the fuck, who comes up with this SHIT?

**ErictheGed** · 05-02-2010

Originally Posted by kingpole

Don't forget to wash your hands real good before you return to the kitchen.

ahaaaahahahaha oops nearly forgot! We really should get a sign on the door!

**NP97** · 05-02-2010

Originally Posted by Retinoid

All I have to say is:

What the fuck, who comes up with this SHIT?

I do!

Yes, strange... but you need all butthole muscles to be relaxed to preform this. So post shit is a very good time to do this, plus there is the whole privacy factor.

**Retinoid** · 05-02-2010

Originally Posted by NP97

I do!

Yes, strange... but you need all butthole muscles to be relaxed to preform this. So post shit is a very good time to do this, plus there is the whole privacy factor.

I think you are making this too complicated. Maybe you can advise people to snort poppers which relaxes ass muscles (porn stars use it before getting anally gang banged). Poppers really are bleh. I snorted some and got really light headed. It is just amyl nitrate.

**NP97** · 05-02-2010

Well, having done them before... they suck, and make you sick if you do too much. That and I don't want to condone the use of drugs to members. Also, but butthole muscles I mean PC/BC. Not actual anus.

AND I am not making this too complicated. You get a far better stretch in when you're relaxed. I have been doing these for quite a few months now.

So I don't appreciate the douchebaggyness.

**Gator** · 05-03-2010

Good information here NP.

And Retinoid, between comments like that, comments you've made in other threads, and your signature, I can say with 100% certainty you are trying to piss people off. In other words, stop being a fucking jerk or you're done.