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  • Cock ring

    Does it add to your length at all? I think I measured and I’m the same length with it on/off.

  • #2
    Length? I wouldn't know about that. But I'll tell you what a cock ring can do for YOU. It will provide you with a HOST of benefits!! Let me list them out for you:

    - Will turn you into a one-sided, single function sex automaton
    - Will turn you into Super Alpha-Dog mode as long as you wear it
    - Horses will look up at your junk and neigh in jealous distress
    - Ladies will get the frozen look of horror permanently etched on their faces, the kind where they want to get the hell away from your sick-looking, grotesque over-plumped sausage

    However, as soon as you take it off:

    - it will revert you back from A-dog to a common wimpy weasel of sorts
    - confidence plummets to 0
    - shrivel you back to normal making you wonder what the big fuss THAT was all about

    Long-term pluses:
    - Will make you smarter
    - Unlimited charisma, magnetism-infused personality
    - Will make you immeasurably rich
    - Instant harem

    In fact that last part, you'll be so damn confident, you'll finally get over that stupid hurdle of constantly seeking validation through the various threads you start.

    But then, oh no, not you man. You're Tranthouse5 dammit... you're not gonna give in without a fight. So on you shall go for now, worrying about your big schlong, worrying about wanting to order a size up to extra large. The biggest, meanest, armless and legless sausage-pole to walk the surface of the Earth. Now picture this: not quite a walk as its got no legs... more like a side by side pivot clumsily making its way through a petal-strewn path surrounded on all sides by a throng of screaming and adoring fans. Handpicked bodyguards forming a circle around the biggest dick the world has ever seen. Sounds of guitar licks and voice warmups can be heard in the distance as the opening act is gearing up for the performance. But what the fans are really in for is to see you messing with it.

    Just don't take my word for it. Seriously, bloat that junk until it can balloon no more. You'll see. The benefits. The others. Only wish. They could dream. Of.

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