Virgin + sexual confidence

[Ayoba Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayoba]

How do you portray sexual confidence if you are a virgin (at 20) or how do you get to that point where you feel sexually confident?

Say you want to have sex with a chick your age. She has probably slept with a couple of guys a couple oft times right.... so she will be experienced. On the other hand you will not be experienced....

How do you deal with that situation? How do you get into the right frame of mind?

In the movies, they always have the scenario where they get the guy to fuck a prostitute or some guys will say sleep with an unappealing women in real life. however I dont think either of those ideas are any good?

[Ayoba Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayoba]

Basically, how does one get them self in the right frame of mind to be or try to be confident in such a scenario?

[Unit Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Unit]

I was about 20 when I'd had sex the first time. There are a lot of books out there that will teach one how to pick up women and you can do learning on how to preform well in bed. For me it has always been best for me to be the person I am. No pickup lines no pretending to been something I'm not. The best sex I've had has always come natural as the next step in a healthy romantic relationship. When there is deep intimacy there is a connection that you can't fake and to the girl you are with, if she is at the same place in the relationship, won't care if it's your first time or not.

[Going411x7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Going411x7]

All you can do is be yourself. You can't pretend to be someone you're not and expect to make it with a female. It comes across as phony and they immediately pick that up. If you are a virgin and innocent, then a woman will know that. Most women are intuitively wayyyy ahead of us guys--especially if they have been around a bit.

You could, of course, choose a gal who is also a virgin--I understand there aren't many around these days. Then you could both be "first timers." You can flounder around to your hearts' content while trying to make it.

Just don't take it too seriously, that's all. Some girls want to get rid of their virginity just as much as the guy does.

Bottom line here: BE YOURSELF.

[redbear52 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close redbear52]

The best thing you can do is just try to relax and enjoy it. Don't act like someone is grading you on performance, and don't try to pretend to be a Casanova when you are really a virgin. If you do you will just come off as silly.

If you are with a woman who has had a bit of experience and you can get an erection, she may well take over and I would suggest you let her.

[Going411x7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Going411x7]

Good advice, rb, as usual.

[wind chill Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close wind chill]

Phil Baroni's advice-Do steroids, lift heavy weights or some martial art,get contacts,go tanning. And stop playing all those gay fucking video games. You can’t get pussy in front of a TV playing games with your geeky friends. Go out to night clubs and bars, hit the beach. If you got money, floss. Whatever you do, don’t be yourself.

[Noseybailey Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Noseybailey]

If you trust the gal be up front and honest! Most women will cherish the idea you are a virgin. I had been with a girl when I was 18, she knew I was a virgin, she was thrilled but as the night went on....I realized you could not change being gay no matter what the pop said. But it was really magical and she did make me feel very special!

[Editor Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Editor]

Just tell your woman that you're a virgin if she's into you she'll be okay with that.

If you're just looking for a fuck, then be your self and have her guide you in.

[phil88 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close phil88]

first off this might help a little with your confidence. Studies show that those of us men who are late bloomers are much better in bed. Wether it be the fact we appreciate it more or whatever. Guys who get laid at 14 suck compared to those who remain a virgin till later in life. I have a friend, he has been havng sex for years. Now hes 22 and he just wants to get in get out, he gets no enjoyment out of it really, he might as well just masturbate. Us late bloomers generally want our women to feel good before ourselves even, which makes for a very passionate, tentative, lover. And then once youve made her cum a few times you can always release the animal within adn give her a good pounding.
The most important thing though would definetly be to tell her. You dont need her making you nervous and then you cant even get it up. Just tell her your a virgin, it goes really well. even when your not a virgin it still works really well sometimes to say you are lol.

[NP97 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close NP97]

Just be yourself man. I sucked my fist time at sex, no lie. It was like five minutes of kinda hard sex with her mum upstairs in the shower. Second time was just as bad, but fully hard and I came faster.
I started to learn her and it got better... by time five I kinda knew what I was doing.

Anyway, the whole virgin thing. Just don't bring it up. She was too, and let me know that... she asked and I... well, I lied and said I wasn't because I was embarassed (I was 20). Big mistake. She forgave me when I told her the truth later, but I'm glad I did before we had sex.
Be honest, find a girl you care about... the first time should be special. Whether it's with your wife or someone else... it should still mean something...

[Going411x7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Going411x7]

Amen!!

[Newbert_zero Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Newbert_zero]

I actually just told a girl I was a virgin at a bar and after that she was all over me. Unfortunatly I've been having hard flaccid problems and had nothing to show her but a scared turtled up dick that wouldn't go up. She tried everything and eventually we just gave up.

[Newbert_zero Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Newbert_zero]

So I'm still a virgin. Oh god if this problem doesn't ever go away I just might lose it. But ya like everyone else said alot of girls are turned on by virgins. Don't know why you would think girls would like a guy who can take the dominating role in bed.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

I think you're making alot of assumptions here. Just because a girl is 20 doesn't mean she's had a couple of guys already and is experienced. MOST people in the 20 year old range, from my experience, have no experience or if they do, it's the bare minimum.

I would say just be yourself and all will work out but that's already been said I think in every post prior to mine. Soooooo, my words of wisdom are this: you're 20, you will gain experience as time goes on. Yeah, it might be awkward at first for you but the more sex you have, the more experienced you'll become. Also, what will work for one girl won't necessarily work for another......get my drift? You'll be fine. We were all there once upon a time bro..............