How to let your son in on PE

[rhinoguy]

This thread touches on things that go beyond the typical father-son relationship because it touches on values and how PE fits in with the modern family. We are not just isolated fathers and sons, we are a microcosm of society whose values and attitudes dictate what we do. Since it is really a larger issue of values, I can't really speak to much of it but I will share some of my values and relate a few thoughts.

If a father is doing regular PE then he should acknowledge PE as part of his value system. PE may be something kept behind closed doors but closed doors are only partially closed and the need to broach the subject becomes important in order to maintain openness and honesty. Most sons have a pretty clear idea what the parents do anyway, good or bad, even when the parents are trying to keep it private. In a sense, there is no secrecy in a family and our children are molds of our values as parents. The real question is what values do we wish them to have?

Everyone at the Gym values PE. However, PE is an exclusively adult activity. I have read of other times and places where PE was shared by fathers and sons in an open way as a gender-approved culture system, and genital enhancement was accepted as a culturally-acceptable behavior. Western democratic societies tend to be fairly liberal but there is still a puritanical element from previous ages that genital enhancement is obscene and immoral. I do not share those feelings at all, and modern European attitudes seem to be a bit better, but we have to consider the context we live in. There really is no getting around doing as the Romans when in Rome.

As an interesting footnote, there have always have been marginalized human subcultures who practiced sexual-spirituality, and in a few cases organized genital enhancement for spiritual gain. Someone mentioned the Arab culture, but even in modern times there are Indian “sadhu” subcultures that do PE. The sadhus do not wear clothes and perform PE in plain view. It is not a condemned culture although I think it is seen as somewhat marginal, perhaps the way we see bikers or surfers in the United States. In that Indian subculture, the human penis is regarded as an emblem of god as Lord Shiva, and PE is seen as an offering to god in his form as a penis (yeah it’s strange to us). It is not simply a way to get better sex and in fact the penises are so long they are incapable of normal erections. You can dig up pictures of Indian sadhus in National Geographic.

So if you do PE and have a son, there is no way to avoid some cultural conflict but discretion will make the best of the situation. Wait until an age, time, and mental point where your son he can get his head around it without any discomfort. Young teens are way too young. Old teens may be ready if they seem like they are. If your household is one where a broad knowledge of foreign cultures is discussed, and you are willing to have discussions of different values, your son will have a framework he can use to understand why his father values PE and be able to approach his fathers values with an open mind. This works not only for PE but for any unusual value the parents may hold.

Even in an ideal home with liberal parents, I do not feel that boys should be doing much PE. It is an adult activity like conjugal sex. If a boy wants to enhance and explore PE in conjuction with masturbation that’s fine, but boys by and large have better things to do. Our society once regarded masturbation dimly and things are changing, but modern values are still not in alignment with the idea of boys doing a lot of PE. A father who does PE should be discreet about it and keep the doors (literally) closed while doing it. Attitudes should be free and open about sex, but the actual details should be left to books and websites. Someone said I would rather my son went to PEGym than a porn site and I agree, but the way to do this is by teaching character and not by teaching PE.

High, you sound like a great father to your son.

[deleteduser]

Excellent post rhinoguy! I will comment on it more after work.

[flex]

The same could be said for playing football, lifting weights, etc. I get what you're saying thought, Flex. No father would want their son to get hurt. Maturity is a big issue. I think your son knowing that PE exists doesn't mean he'll do it any more than letting him know weight lifting exists means he's going to do that. If it's his interest, then he'll do it. If not, he won't. It's not about promoting it, it's just putting the information out there and letting him make a choice. If he makes that choice, then you guide and coach him, so to speak, just like you would with anything else.

The initial post in this thread said how would you "help" your son by "letting him in on PE." I'm not saying it shouldn't be discussed or hid in a closet. But I want to be very clear when I say that PE is NOT the same as bodybuilding, and you should not kid yourself into thinking it is. There is a LOT more uncharted territory with "promoting growth" with regards to the intricacies of the human penis and it's vascular system, neurological system, smooth muscle, etc., than there is to promoting growth of one's muscles. If you doubt that, just contrast the views of the medical community on both. So what I am saying is that for me personally, the jury on risk versus reward is still out ... I'm not quite there just yet ... so letting my son "in on PE" to "help him" is not yet in my plans.

[deleteduser]

This thread touches on things that go beyond the typical father-son relationship because it touches on values and how PE fits in with the modern family. We are not just isolated fathers and sons, we are a microcosm of society whose values and attitudes dictate what we do. Since it is really a larger issue of values, I can't really speak to much of it but I will share some of my values and relate a few thoughts.

If a father is doing regular PE then he should acknowledge PE as part of his value system. PE may be something kept behind closed doors but closed doors are only partially closed and the need to broach the subject becomes important in order to maintain openness and honesty. Most sons have a pretty clear idea what the parents do anyway, good or bad, even when the parents are trying to keep it private. In a sense, there is no secrecy in a family and our children are molds of our values as parents. The real question is what values do we wish them to have?

Everyone at the Gym values PE. However, PE is an exclusively adult activity. I have read of other times and places where PE was shared by fathers and sons in an open way as a gender-approved culture system, and genital enhancement was accepted as a culturally-acceptable behavior. Western democratic societies tend to be fairly liberal but there is still a puritanical element from previous ages that genital enhancement is obscene and immoral. I do not share those feelings at all, and modern European attitudes seem to be a bit better, but we have to consider the context we live in. There really is no getting around doing as the Romans when in Rome.

As an interesting footnote, there have always have been marginalized human subcultures who practiced sexual-spirituality, and in a few cases organized genital enhancement for spiritual gain. Someone mentioned the Arab culture, but even in modern times there are Indian “sadhu” subcultures that do PE. The sadhus do not wear clothes and perform PE in plain view. It is not a condemned culture although I think it is seen as somewhat marginal, perhaps the way we see bikers or surfers in the United States. In that Indian subculture, the human penis is regarded as an emblem of god as Lord Shiva, and PE is seen as an offering to god in his form as a penis (yeah it’s strange to us). It is not simply a way to get better sex and in fact the penises are so long they are incapable of normal erections. You can dig up pictures of Indian sadhus in National Geographic.

So if you do PE and have a son, there is no way to avoid some cultural conflict but discretion will make the best of the situation. Wait until an age, time, and mental point where your son he can get his head around it without any discomfort. Young teens are way too young. Old teens may be ready if they seem like they are. If your household is one where a broad knowledge of foreign cultures is discussed, and you are willing to have discussions of different values, your son will have a framework he can use to understand why his father values PE and be able to approach his fathers values with an open mind. This works not only for PE but for any unusual value the parents may hold.

Even in an ideal home with liberal parents, I do not feel that boys should be doing much PE. It is an adult activity like conjugal sex. If a boy wants to enhance and explore PE in conjuction with masturbation that’s fine, but boys by and large have better things to do. Our society once regarded masturbation dimly and things are changing, but modern values are still not in alignment with the idea of boys doing a lot of PE. A father who does PE should be discreet about it and keep the doors (literally) closed while doing it. Attitudes should be free and open about sex, but the actual details should be left to books and websites. Someone said I would rather my son went to PEGym than a porn site and I agree, but the way to do this is by teaching character and not by teaching PE.

High, you sound like a great father to your son.

This post touches on so many subjects. I totally agree with you that there's a puritanical aspect to our culture which makes PE counter-cultrual.

One thing I was wondering though is if you grew up knowing about PE, like from a child on, how would it be. Would it be like if your dad smokes and you grow up thinking that's normal? I wouldn't tell my son about PE that young of course, but like you say closed doors are only partially closed and the need to broach the subject becomes important in order to maintain openness and honesty. Most sons have a pretty clear idea what the parents do anyway, good or bad, even when the parents are trying to keep it private. In a sense, there is no secrecy in a family and our children are molds of our values as parents. Does knowing it exists and that dad does imply endorsement that the son should do it too? Or, like cigarettes, my parent smokes but I don't, but it's no big deal that they do?

I agree that there are two sides to PE. There is the physical enhancement side and there is the more sexual aspect of it. I wonder if you could start a son on the physical side (like say, tug on your pee pee after you go to the bathroom 3 times) and as he gets older get into PE more fully? I mean, kids are having sex at 14, 15 these days. They know a lot more now from the internet about sex and things earlier now. Attitudes should be open and free, I agree.

[deleteduser]

The initial post in this thread said how would you "help" your son by "letting him in on PE." I'm not saying it shouldn't be discussed or hid in a closet. But I want to be very clear when I say that PE is NOT the same as bodybuilding, and you should not kid yourself into thinking it is. There is a LOT more uncharted territory with "promoting growth" with regards to the intricacies of the human penis and it's vascular system, neurological system, smooth muscle, etc., than there is to promoting growth of one's muscles. If you doubt that, just contrast the views of the medical community on both. So what I am saying is that for me personally, the jury on risk versus reward is still out ... I'm not quite there just yet ... so letting my son "in on PE" to "help him" is not yet in my plans.

Very good points, Flex. I only meant that there are risks in a lot of things we let our sons participate in. There is a lot of uncharted scientific territory with PE. I compare it to lifting in the sense that when bodybuilding and weight lifting first started to gain popularity in the 30's and 40's,doctors said it would ruin your libido and if you quit lifting your muscle would turn to fat, etc. We are the pioneers in this exercise. It's important to remember that teenagers are impulsive and would need guidance from their dad to take it easy with PE. A "less is more" approach would definitely be stressed as not to damage the penis.

[rhinoguy]

High. I think it might be a conversation something along these lines.

Son- "Dad, what's this book on the penis I found on your bookshelf in your home office about, and what were you doing to your penis that one time when I accidently walked in and you had that thing hooked to it? Is there something wrong with your todger? The boys at school said they know how to make your penis huge and I would like to try that on mine so I am awesome looking in the showers. "

Dad- "Joey, as I got into my late twenties I felt that I could enhance my sexuality by making my penis bigger although I have a normal penis like you do. All men want to get the most out of their penis and explore their sexuality as they get older. You can do some exercises to your penis and it will make it grow, but I do not want you to do a lot of it at your age. You can borrow the book on my bookshelf and read about it but penis exercise is really for grown men and you should let it wait for later on when you have more time for it. You will have more time for a lot of things later in life."

"Ok Dad." End of conversation for now. So I am saying I think you should be open but also steer him away from PE until he is grown and out of the home. Wait until college at least. Like I said this is my view based on where ourt society is at this point in time. Personally I think it would be neat if fathers and sons could be naked around one another at appropraite times, maybe even do PE in the same room, but that would be kind of far out for what we have going in America today.

[deleteduser]

High. I think it might be a conversation something along these lines.

Son- "Dad, what's this book on the penis I found on your bookshelf in your home office about, and what were you doing to your penis that one time when I accidently walked in and you had that thing hooked to it? Is there something wrong with your todger? The boys at school said they know how to make your penis huge and I would like to try that on mine so I am awesome looking in the showers. "

Dad- "Joey, as I got into my late twenties I felt that I could enhance my sexuality by making my penis bigger although I have a normal penis like you do. All men want to get the most out of their penis and explore their sexuality as they get older. You can do some exercises to your penis and it will make it grow, but I do not want you to do a lot of it at your age. You can borrow the book on my bookshelf and read about it but penis exercise is really for grown men and you should let it wait for later on when you have more time for it. You will have more time for a lot of things later in life."

"Ok Dad." End of conversation for now. So I am saying I think you should be open but also steer him away from PE until he is grown and out of the home. Wait until college at least. Like I said this is my view based on where ourt society is at this point in time. Personally I think it would be neat if fathers and sons could be naked around one another at appropraite times, maybe even do PE in the same room, but that would be kind of far out for what we have going in America today.

With all the Viagra, Cialis, Enzyte and other commercials on TV, a very easy way to bring up PE with your son is, "See all those Viagra and other ED drug commercials? Those are for guys who don't take care of their penises. They don't work well now. There are exercises you can do to keep everything in working order for when you're older."

[rhinoguy]

Well neither a doctor or an advanced PE'er so I can't say whether lack of PE is why their dicks don't work or not. I am lucky that at 40+ mine works like new and I also happen to know my father at 80 still gets it off just fine (visited him once and heard him jerking off LOL). But I would bet that general physical and mental health as well PE helps keep things working if they are likely to go south.

As far as telling your son about it, sure, whatever you like but don't say you know PE will prevent ED unless you have studies showing it is true. I bet half the doctors in the US would push PE if it were backed with science. I actually think it probably is true, just that it is not proven yet. I think the book idea is the way to go and keep the subject short just as other types of sex are kept short. Just my opinion worth not a very lot.

[deleteduser]

Well neither a doctor or an advanced PE'er so I can't say whether lack of PE is why their dicks don't work or not. I am lucky that at 43 mine works like new and I also happen to know my father at 80 still gets it off just fine (visited him once and heard him jerking off LOL). But I would bet that general physical and mental health as well PE helps keep things working if they are likely to go south.

As far as telling your son about it, sure, whatever you like but don't say you know PE will prevent ED unless you have studies showing it is true. I bet half the doctors in the US would push PE if it were true. I think the book idea is the way to go and keep the subject short just as screwing is kept short. Just my opinion worth not a very lot.

Rhino, I didn't mean to infer that PE is a cure for ED. I just was using it as an opening to talk to your son about PE, that's all. I guess the way I typed it wasn't the way I thought it. You make a very good point. We don't know, so it's important not to spread misinformation. Thank you for reminding me of that. Your opinion is worth more than you know and definitely valued here on the PEGym forums, brother!

[deleteduser]

I think that it's a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly, and that you need to look at the whole person your son is- mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When you as a father feel the benefits outweigh the risks, then consider it. If you don't feel that way, then don't let your son know about PE.

That being said, unless you're talking to your son, you're not going to know what his views are on anything- PE or otherwise. The most important thing in being a father is being there for your son.