Hey all. I've taken a big break from PEing. October 17th appears to have been my last day I even attempted something other than a casual Uli during a jerk off session. It is a shame since it was only a little while after I purchased my X4. I stopped because I lost motivation. I saw virtually no gains (the only gains I saw seemed to me like they might have been mis-measures, but I'm not sure... they were minimal either way) and it was very time consuming and difficult to perform without much privacy (I live with my father and sister and they don't bother me EXCEPT when I need some privacy).

Lately I've been feeling really down about my size. Maybe it's because I'm watching porn and it seems like every guy is bigger than the next, and I always wonder that other (non pornstar) guys are probably at least a lot girthier than me. I lost my girl so I don't have that ego boost of regular sex to distract me from it, AND I've been really god damn depressed lately.

So I started looking at places to move out. Get a place of my own and have absolute privacy and freedom whenever I want. My goal to move is January. Once I do this, I will make it a point to PE 5 days a week, resting on Sundays. I'm going to go at it hard, but more importantly, consistently, as I think that is key.

My most recent measurement surprised me. I was 7 inches bone pressed (I'm just about 6.1 NBP...which is weird since that's nearly an entire inch and I'm a pretty thin guy). I thought maybe all that jelqing and stretching in the past finally yielded some results, but I'm not sure. Subsequent measures were slightly less but maybe my EQ was just too awesome that day. Either way, I feel small as fuck! Mostly thin (4.5"). And insecure. I just want to see some results. But I know it takes time and effort, something I'm willing to give.

I know there's really no point to this post in terms of a discussion on a forum, but I felt like I needed to just say this "out loud" somewhere since there's literally no one I can talk to about this. Well, I did tell my ex girlfriend about it a couple months ago. But she doesn't seem to interested in talking about it or indulging my insecurities for me So yeah there's no one. Just here. So my resolution this year is to get a long fat cock by next December. And make a lot of money. And fuck a lot of girls. And stop being so god damn depressed (the transition from warm to cold weather wreaks havoc on my mood...).

So there you have it. A pointless post. Just getting thought out on paper. Thanks for reading.