- 08-23-2013 #1
Member of the Month Sept 2013
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
- Sunny SE Florida
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I've debated it for awhile now and have been on the edge of saying something more than once, somewhere along the line I set a criteria that if my gains ever affected what she calls our "fit" that I would say something. I should have been open from the beginning, we share everything between us openly and having this "secret" has weighed on me. The last time I almost said something was a couple months ago when she was on top (not one of our usual positions, though we only have opportunity to see each other about once a month so we don't have a lot of opportunity to mix things up) and I bottomed out during a moment of high EQ, she actually stopped because she thought she came down on me wrong and bent my unit (happened once before during a slip in the shower), I think she was confused by the look on my face at the time. I never experienced a problem with our favorite position, missionary, and decided that until it did I wouldn't say anything. Today during a couple minutes of extremely high EQ I pressed as far in as I could and had a little more to go. It didn't affect my ability to rub bones together just right but that did meet my criteria for speaking up.
Once we were done and basking together in the afterglow I made a quick mention that I had to talk to her but not right this second. She's used to me asking logical questions about the mechanics and feelings of our unions, I am always trying to learn more about her and be a better lover, but there's a right time to ask so as not to break the mood of the moment. We fell asleep together for a little nap and then when we woke I decided it was time.
I struggled for a minute to find a starting point, played back what I was going to say to see if it made any sense. I explained that since the start of our relationship I hadn't been real happy about my EQ problems, I had lost a lot of weight quickly (55 pounds) and it had a detrimental effect. I went back into our history a little and reminded her of a couple times things didn't work very well and what triggered the start of my PE endeavor, I nearly had a failure once and she remembered it clearly as being rather lackluster. I told her I looked around for a solution and found a place on the Internet with a group of guys much like myself who had cured their EQ and ED problems with some exercises. I told her I studied it and weighed the risks and started in on it. She said she thought something was going on but attributed it to something else, but had noticed a significant change in my EQ. I told her how I felt when she made an unsolicited comment a couple months ago in a nice growling voice that my unit was "so nice and strong". She admitted that the improvements were most welcome.
I delved in further to explain that one of the side effects was an increase in size. I told her that initially I just chalked it up to improved EQ but I've gone way beyond that and there has to be some validity to the size increase beyond just EQ. I told her that today I bottomed out. She said she hadn't noticed me hitting anything and was perfectly comfortable (though I don't think she realized that for the first time she gouged my back with her nails and left copious amounts of fluids on the bed, seemed like three times her normal amount).
So as the conversation continued she was completely supportive, curious, and open to my PE endeavor. And now she is part of it, I'm not keeping anything from her and we can decide together about gains, which ultimately is my goal is to make her feel more pleasure, or selfishly to make sure she doesn't feel less pleasure. She is still processing the information and I'm sure will have more questions when we speak later tonight, she already wants to know what the exercises are, she was picturing kegels which I said was part of it but that it would be easier to show her the other exercises than explain it to her. I imagine she'll be joining me for a session soon (she's naturally curious about everything).
My take away from this: I should have said something sooner and included her in my journey. I'll post an update over the next couple of days as she processes and comes up with more reaction and questions.Start 12MAR'13
"Be nice to your penis, you should encourage it to grow, not force it to"
"Gains occur while balancing the fine line between undertraining and overtraining"
"Undertraining slows the gains, overtraining stops them"
- 08-23-2013 #2
Glad to hear you told her and life is going good for you. I have missed your great posts the last few months!"A negative mind will never get you a positive life.”
- 08-23-2013 #3
Member of the Month Feb 13
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
Best thing you could have done brother. It's so much better when you don't have to PE in stealth mode. Now you can invite her to join us here.Bondage.
Some people call it domestic violence.
We call it foreplay.
Got cuffs? GAME ON!
My routine and gains.
- 08-23-2013 #4
Excellent story. Well written. Great punctuation.
clapclapclapclap--the applause type not that other nasty one.
It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood.- K.Popper
Strength is the outcome of need, security sets a premium on feebleness.-Wells
- 08-23-2013 #5
Member of the Month July 2013
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
I have to admit, telling my wife was one of the hardest things I have done as a man. Not because I was embarrassed or didn't trust her. It was the fact that society has put so much emphasis on a man's unit. It is our pride and joy. I didn't want her to know that I wasn't completely happy about it. However, it ate at me so I ended up telling her. Once I started telling her it became the easiest thing I have ever done. She understand completely and doesn't care one bit
Great story and congratulations!
- 08-23-2013 #6
- 08-24-2013 #7
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
- Blog Entries
Telling my wife was awkward to say the least! I mean she knew, but for the words to have to leave my mouth. I felt embarrased, ashamed, and god knows what else, but I felt better afterwards.PE is a lot like sex. First you have to find your technique, rotate your routine, and then plan on it taking a while. Then you will find satisfaction.
- 08-24-2013 #8
This shows ignorance (and perhaps a bit of defensiveness) in that this type of training isn't just about mere size- it's also about improving function, control, and (at it's apex) being able to transcend negative associated mental and emotional issues related to sexuality.
Last edited by Big Al; 08-24-2013 at 10:52 AM.Want a FREE month of coaching for your training? PM or email me for details!
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- 08-24-2013 #9
I agree with the congratulations. It's a huge weight off the shoulders when you let them know, and who else to get better support from than a loving spouse. It's even better when they get involved, however they feel comfortable. It relieves a lot of the weirdness when you realize they find it highly erotic, and enjoy watching.Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before
- 08-24-2013 #10
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
I told my wife also, I kind of had to because she knew something was going on. Congrats, and I understand how you feel. In fact my wife was more upset because I felt like I couldn't tell her. I am glad you two have it in the open, and I think generally our spouses want us to be healthy all around and PE is just part of continuing that health.