got to 7.75 and still no comments from the ladies

[TPW]

Always look who is writing this crap, then you'll find the reason it's hogwash. "Casey Quinlan has written for... Feministing"

Just because some feminist blogger says it does not make it true. Both men and women accept compliments fine. There's no reason women should stop complimenting men or vice versa. Maybe if people gave more compliments out such large chunks of the population wouldn't be insecure

Bored,

Your obvious distaste for Casey Quinlan also does not make her article untrue. I chose her article, not because she was a feminist (as I am not one) but because she was citing studies that were conducted. That is all.

Now, having said that, there plenty of men who have also written about men (and women's) difficulty in accepting compliments; please feel free to look them up.

Again, my point was not about whether women SHOULD compliment men (they should), only why they don't.

[Pegasus]

Always look who is writing this crap, then you'll find the reason it's hogwash. "Casey Quinlan has written for... Feministing"

Just because some feminist blogger says it does not make it true. Both men and women accept compliments fine. There's no reason women should stop complimenting men or vice versa. Maybe if people gave more compliments out such large chunks of the population wouldn't be insecure

Yep.
The assertion that women giving men compliments is "gender atypical" is interesting. It could be women just think girls don't do that. As for the rest it doesn't match my experience or observation at all .

[Pegasus]

Bored,

Your obvious distaste for Casey Quinlan also does not make her article untrue. I chose her article, not because she was a feminist (as I am not one) but because she was citing studies that were conducted. That is all.

Now, having said that, there plenty of men who have also written about men (and women's) difficulty in accepting compliments; please feel free to look them up.

Again, my point was not about whether women SHOULD compliment men (they should), only why they don't.

Studies seem to reflect the belief system of those that do them , or pay for them.

[camaro]

TPW, regarding men having difficulty accepting compliments - Why is it so believed?

I have no problem accepting an honest compliment.

[TPW]

TPW, regarding men having difficulty accepting compliments - Why is it so believed?

I have no problem accepting an honest compliment.

Camaro,

Let me ask you something. You say you have no problem accepting an honest compliment. Good for you. So how do you know when a compliment is genuine and sincere rather than an attempt at say, false flattery?

More importantly, in accepting an honest compliment did you simply say "thank you" or did you respond to said compliment in a similar manner as many men (and women) often do:

1. Ignore it; either because you didn't hear it or because you didn't recognize that you were being complimented.

2. Deny the compliment outright.

3. Debate/argue against deserving the given praise.

4. Self-Insult by downplaying the praise by offering self-deprecating remarks.

5. Question the person's judgment, taste, etc. in offering the compliment.

6. Whittle down a broader compliment into a smaller one.

7. Boomerang the compliment by giving one back.

8. Ask for additional reassurance because he/she has trouble accepting the compliment and needs confirmation.

9. De-value the actual compliment; stating that whatever is being complimented is not as great as it was made out to be.

10. Transfer the credit/praise to others.

Both genders deflect and reject compliments all the time, Camaro. And according to Randy Paterson, author of The Assertiveness Handbook, these are the primary reasons:


Fear of being seen as conceited. This is by far the most common reason people deflect a compliment. They worry that by agreeing with someone else’s praise of them, they are essentially praising themselves and thus being smug.


The need to restore “balance.” Since a compliment is a positive act, you may feel a psychological need to balance things out by either negating the praise through deflection, or by quickly returning the compliment.


The desire to avoid “indebtedness.” This is the worry that if someone does something nice for you like offering a compliment, you will then “owe” them something nice in return and will thus be indebted to them in some way.


Having low self-esteem. If someone says something nice about you that you don’t believe about yourself, your immediate reaction will be to deny or disbelieve it. You can’t integrate the complimenter’s positive view of you into your own negative one, so you look for ways to find their assessment faulty – i.e., they missed the mistakes you made or they don’t have good judgment.


Inability to be assertive. Guys who struggle with being assertive often find accepting compliments to be a struggle. They have a hard time taking ownership of their positive qualities and feel like acknowledging praise isn’t something a “nice guy” would do.


Suspicion of motives. You may reject someone’s compliments if you’re suspicious that they’re just trying to flatter you and butter you up for some reason. This suspicion may be legitimate or it may come from an overly cynical worldview and be rooted in trust issues.


Desire to look even better. People will sometimes use false modesty as a way of trying to make themselves look even better.

Perhaps the reason people are so cautious about giving compliments is because people are so cautious about receiving them...

[MrPriapus]

I think Men's difficulty accepting compliments spawns from the social constructs of masculinity. I think the "ideal" man is typically characterized as being independent and self-assured, and a man becoming giddy about a compliment from a women is normally not characteristic of "manly" behavior. This causes normal men - read, all men - to create a superficial layer of confidence that makes them seem more apathetic than they really are. Just my thoughts...

As to the post... Dude, you shouldn't expect every women to swoon over your meat stick. Life is not porn, women are not going to go catatonic when you drop your pants just because you have a big penis. I feel your pain though, as I also desire the OMG-WTF-stare that makes you feel like one bad motha... Shut yo mouth! But, that's not reality.

However, if you do want to get an idea of reactions about your size you can constantly bombard her with penis-face. By that I mean, walk around naked all the time, preferably with erections. Put it in her face and interview her in the mornings as a "Good Morning America" segment. Do yoga naked (always gets great reactions). Serve it to her as dessert, or a as a breakfast crepe. Anyways, just present it to her outside of the normal context and I guarantee she will comment about your penis eventually, and it will always be positive, or at the very least humorous.

Arrogant guys whip their shit out fishing for compliments because they know they're big. Why should such a banal attempt at impression garner any praise from an attractive lady whose probably seen her fair share. Be different, be creative.

Edit: just saw TPW's post. I think it's over-specific, but the general point is there. We've all got insecurities that cause us to build an invisible force field of protection against the outside world. Compliments and insults are one of the things this shield protects against. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is what builds a strong, lasting relationship. Sometimes you just have to let go.

[Pucko]

Its not the length as much as the girth that women like and associate with being big. Also I agree with you that the average is bigger than the charts indicate. I'm 7x5 and have been told from several women that I am on the smaller side.

Really? Whats your NBPEL? I cant imagine a girl saying that 7x5 would be small cause it does'nt make any sense.

[Dear Ambellina]

Its not the length as much as the girth that women like and associate with being big. Also I agree with you that the average is bigger than the charts indicate. I'm 7x5 and have been told from several women that I am on the smaller side.

How many women have you been with? Because IMO (and that's all it is) that's rubbish.

1) Being told by "several women" that you are on the smaller side means absolutely nothing. Too many variables.

2) If anything, the realistic average should skew SLIGHTLY smaller. One has to assume there is an inherent bias in signing up to have your penis measured, in that men who are more secure with their size are more willing to sign up. It may only be .1-.2 of an inch difference, but there still should be one

3) There is no way in hell a 7x5 penis is on the smaller side. High Average at a MINIMUM.

And please, I mean absolutely no offense or any of this personally. But I have to state the fact that I strongly disagree with any insinuation that either a) the true average is larger than stated or b) that your 7/5 measurements in any universe are "small."

I can also add a contrary anecdote: my wife has had 17 sexual partners and states (truthfully) that my 6.3 BPEL x 5.3 MEG penis is larger than all but 2 or 3 of them. There's so many variables that I can only conclude she believes that, but may possibly be mistaken (did she measure previous partners, distorted memory, etc x a million).

[Pucko]

How many women have you been with? Because IMO (and that's all it is) that's rubbish.

1) Being told by "several women" that you are on the smaller side means absolutely nothing. Too many variables.

2) If anything, the realistic average should skew SLIGHTLY smaller. One has to assume there is an inherent bias in signing up to have your penis measured, in that men who are more secure with their size are more willing to sign up. It may only be .1-.2 of an inch difference, but there still should be one

3) There is no way in hell a 7x5 penis is on the smaller side. High Average at a MINIMUM.

And please, I mean absolutely no offense or any of this personally. But I have to state the fact that I strongly disagree with any insinuation that either a) the true average is larger than stated or b) that your 7/5 measurements in any universe are "small."

I can also add a contrary anecdote: my wife has had 17 sexual partners and states (truthfully) that my 6.3 BPEL x 5.3 MEG penis is larger than all but 2 or 3 of them. There's so many variables that I can only conclude she believes that, but may possibly be mistaken (did she measure previous partners, distorted memory, etc x a million).

She was probably being genuine considering your girth. How a dick is percieved in size depends alot on how small the guy is, especially the thighs/hips/waist.

For example, mine looks pretty short because my thighs are big, my balls are big and my dick is quite girthy.

But i agree with lilbigman that girls put more emphasis on girth while guys put more emphasis on length.

[Dear Ambellina]

She was probably being genuine considering your girth. How a dick is percieved in size depends alot on how small the guy is, especially the thighs/hips/waist.

For example, mine looks pretty short because my thighs are big, my balls are big and my dick is quite girthy.

But i agree with lilbigman that girls put more emphasis on girth while guys put more emphasis on length.

That's precisely my point. There's a million variables that influence how big or small a penis looks on any given man based on their total physiology. It doesn't often correlate with how big they truly are on a ruler. And size is often interpreted erroneously by women. Hence a woman claiming a 7x5 penis as "on the small side" means absolutely nothing in relation to average size.

Not really a big deal, but I'm finding fairly commonly on here that people report what random women said of their penis and take it to mean something it doesn't in a broader context. Whether positively or negatively.