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My PE Journey. The Good and the Bad (so far)

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  • My PE Journey. The Good and the Bad (so far)

    Hello fellow pegym members. I wanted to share my experiences so far, and hopefully get some feedback. I wasn't sure of the appropriate forum to put this, because it incorporates so many different things, so I decided the general PE forum is the best. My apologies if this is the wrong place. Also, sorry for such a long post I just have to get this out.

    Where do I start...I believe what brought me here in the first place is a significant amount of insecurities, performance or otherwise, about myself. Whether it be of my general self-image, or how I view my penis. I've had these insecurities since I was a teenager. I'm 30 years old now, in decent shape (6'2 & 215 lbs - yeah I could shed some weight and I'm working on that!). My penis...well it's actually larger than average and I knew that years and years ago. I'm just over 6 inches in length (NBEL) and a little over 5 inches in girth. So why am I still so insecure??? I suppose that's for me and my therapist to figure out. I would imagine it goes back to something in my childhood, like many things do that shape who we are today. Yeah, I've had an ex tell me I'm small when we broke up, but I know she was just trying to hurt me, even though it did resonate with me for quite a while. So why even say all this you may be asking...well, I'm trying to get my mind in a better place and hopefully you all can help me get there.

    My PE journey began about 4 months ago. I had been stalking these forums for quite a while and decided I was going to get the bathmate x30. I got it, started using it, and really didn't seen anything other than the temporary immediate results one sees after using it. After a while of using it, I started experiencing some really bad premature ejaculation. Really bad meaning; I was reaching my PONR after 1-2 minutes after penetration. Typically I would last more than 20 minutes in bed, sometimes much longer. I stopped using it after several months and the PE was still there, but to a much lesser degree. I found myself lasting around 10 minutes with my wife.

    On November 24th I decided I was going to start the JP 90 day program. So, I'm 16 days in. Instead of jelqing, I was going to use the pump. Guess what came with it? Major PE problems again...Tonight, I lasted about 45 seconds with my wife...this is absolutely soul crushing for me. I'm so worried that if this problem persists she will find someone else who can please her. That's the second time it has happened since starting the 90 day program, and starting the pump again. First time on 11-29. That time, I lasted about 30 seconds.

    I've kept a log of everything I've been doing. I have been following the stretching routine on the program, and using the pump for 10-15 minutes afterwards in the shower. Here's my log so far:

    11/24: Stretches + Pump (15 mins)
    11/25: Stretches + Pump (15 mins)
    11/26: Stretches + Pump (12 mins)
    11/27: Stretches + Pump (15 mins)
    11/28: Stretches, no pump. Ejaculated before PE. Tried pump flaccid, was very painful.
    11/29: Stretches + Pump (15 mins) Sex tonight. SERIOUS PE!!! Stop pumping!
    11/30: Stretches, no pump.
    12/1: Day off.
    12/2: Stretches, no pump.
    12/3: Stretches + Pump (13 mins)
    12/4: Stretches + Pump (10 mins)
    12/5: Stretches + Pump (10 mins)
    12/6: Day off.
    12/7: Stretches + Pump (10 mins)
    12/8: Stretches, no pump.
    12/9: Stretches + Pump (10 mins) Sex tonight. TERRIBLE PE! AGAIN...Stop pumping...

    So that's exactly what my log says. Is the pump the cause of the premature ejaculation?? I've decided I'm going to stop pumping all together and continue only with the stretches. Before you ask, I can't jelq. I absolutely can't. I don't have the privacy nor the time to do it. I've also found it to be extremely difficult. I'm hoping stretches is enough to see any gains whatsoever.

    Another possible cause of the premature ejaculation is that I'm absolutely terrified and anxiety ridden that it's going to happen while initiating four-play, and leading up to penetration. Sure enough, it happens. I'm wondering how much of it is psychological. In my efforts to identify the cause, on top of no more use of the pump, is a bit of meditation or positive thinking. Who knows, maybe it will help. If I tell myself I'm going to cum early and it happens, maybe if I repeatedly tell myself I will last like I used to I will.

    Overall, I've seen significant increase in EQ. I'm rock solid, and I'm loving that part, but what good is it if I can't use it...I haven't yet measured, and I won't for some time. Maybe after 30 days I will, but probably will wait until 60. My main concern is length, and as discussed in the beginning it shouldn't even be a concern (much less an anxiety). I would like to see myself at 6.5-7" NBEL. But, who wouldn't take girth as well. Will stretches increase both length and girth?

    So here's my questions:

    1. Can pumping cause premature ejaculation?
    2. Is it possible for pumping to cause increased sensitivity?
    3. Is it a good idea to use a condom with a numbing agent until the PE is resolved?
    4. Can stretching alone cause gains?
    5. Should I even be doing PE...at all?

    My last question leads me to my closing here...I can't help but think this obsession I have now with penis enlargement is actually causing significant damage to both me and my wife. Mentally, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm so concerned about enlarging my penis that I lose focus on what's most important in my life. Like, my baby boy who just turned 6 months old, my wife, my work, all my wife's needs. I feel like I'm being selfish...Is there a way to be confident and ok with myself and still remain on the 90 day program? Do I have to be so damn insecure all the time? If I want to remain on the 90 day program...how can I change my mindset? What do you guys suggest?

    Man...I know I just dumped a lot of crap...I'm sorry. I guess I just need help...This may seem like jumbled up rambling...but my thoughts are racing. Thanks for reading.

    Edit: I forgot to mention kegels. I've been wondering what I should be focusing on to achieve balance. I've been paying extra attention to have a relaxed pelvic floor. I've found nearly every time I check, I have a bit of tension. When the thought arises (several times a day) to check, it's there. Just a bit of tension. I then relax it and let it be. Should I be doing kegels at all? Should I be doing reverse kegels? From what I've read here, I should be doing reverse kegels if I'm experiencing premature ejaculation. When I read elsewhere, it says to do kegels to strengthen my pc muscles and that will lead to better control. What should I be doing here?
    Last edited by eking83; 12-09-2014, 11:48 PM.
    Goal:
    7" x 6" NBPEL


    Currently working on JP's 90 day routine. Wish me luck!

  • #2
    Have you tried edging? Or visiting the pre e part of the forums?
    Mid June 2014: NBPEL 5.60, EG 4.60
    Aug 1st 2014: NBPEL 5.90, EG 5
    Goal: 7+ BPEL 5.5+ EG

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by staten123 View Post
      Have you tried edging? Or visiting the pre e part of the forums?
      Yeah. I've read through the PE forums extensively. During masturbation I can last for quite a while. It's only during intercourse I have the PE issue. But yeah I've tried edging a little bit, but not much. One of the things that I'm going to try to focus on that I read on those forums is breathing, trying to relax, and trying to understand my arousal levels and gain control of them. Thanks for the reply.
      Goal:
      7" x 6" NBPEL


      Currently working on JP's 90 day routine. Wish me luck!

      Comment


      • #4
        Pumping can increase sensitivity (better blood flow, erection quality )..
        Increased sensitivity may lead to a loss of control during intercourse.
        Stretching may increase your length.
        Edge with your wife, I'm sure she will understand and will be glad to help.
        Can you last as long as you want during blowjobs?
        https://www.pegym.com/forums/penis-e...a-jelqing.html

        Quality jelqs / Moving squeezes

        Off to the real world.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by popol5169 View Post
          Pumping can increase sensitivity (better blood flow, erection quality )..
          Increased sensitivity may lead to a loss of control during intercourse.
          Stretching may increase your length.
          Edge with your wife, I'm sure she will understand and will be glad to help.
          Can you last as long as you want during blowjobs?
          Hey Popol. Thanks for the reply. I'll try that with her, see how she takes it. Yes, I can last much longer during a blowjob.
          Goal:
          7" x 6" NBPEL


          Currently working on JP's 90 day routine. Wish me luck!

          Comment

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