Pelvic floor imbalance and rectal prolapse, problems with RK - my story and questions

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

Hello everyone. I'll try to briefly introduce myself.

I'm 27. I sit a whole lot, am very thin, eat well, but get tired fast; not able to walk or even stand for a long time. Have had pelvic-related problems since I can remember: inguinal hernia twice as a child, chronic constipation, bowel pain (IBS, I suppose) etc. With time I also developed 3rd grade hemorrhoids and rectal prolapse (it falls out during defecation and after straining or standing for long time, depending on a day and bowels content). I used to masturbate quite a lot as a teen and later on, usually quick (however there was also a time when, on my owen, I discovered edging and/or balooning, so I used to masturbate as long as possible to strengthen the orgasms). I would develop a form of masturbation on a flaccid penis, simply rubbing it rapidly from above (don't know how to illustrate it more specifically) with my hand in pants; it was very pleasurable, yet obviously would cause ejaculating in the linen, so I began to manually block the semen from coming out by simply holding firmly area between penis and anus. I guess it was not very healthy though...

Around the age of 23 I stopped masturbating at all, only scarcely, maybe once a several months, but never in a classical, fully erected form. I would rather stimulate myself mentally (!) in a state of almost-sleeping, and that was enough for my body to react: the very process of rising the penis would feel so good, that I would have strong orgasm with ejaculation by simply lying in my bed and thinking of having sexual intercourse, or even only concentrating on what I experience.
At that time I also experienced something weird: got an orgasm with ejaculation during push-ups or pull-ups exercises, from just straining too much! This would suggest my pelvic floor is in a really bad shape, I guess. (Besides, I have known it is very unhealthy for the prolapse and I don't do this anymore).

Only that being said, one could easily imagine that it is imbossible for a person like me to be anywhere near successful in a real sexual intercourse. By now I am still a virgin, but probably it will change in few months. Yet thinking of having sex is driving me crazy - I am simply not able to do it in my present situation! Even though I have no experience, I can tell for sure that I struggle with severe premature ejaculation problem. Now when I masturbate (try to do it with maximum awareness of what is going on in my body), my PC contracts very willingly every now and again while I touch the penis, particularly when imitating being inside a vagina. And, not surprisingly, when put into some FL imitation (done simply from a towel and a glove or so), it would last... OK, it doesn't last at all - I even can't start and it's over. Even after prior ejaculation...

I suppose my problem is pelvic floor thightness (although I also suppose some mental issues: I would excite very much even before I use the fake vagina or before I put a condom on, my heart beats fast and so on). My kegels are pretty strong I suppose, I can even almost stop myself from ejaculating while having an orgasm (but it's not very pleasurable though). BUT! On the other hand, it seems like I am nearly unable to relax the pelvic floor at all. PC clenches involuntarly not only during masturbation, but also sometimes while urinating; sometimes I would also get an erection while simply sitting and not even thinking about things that could make me aroused. What is more, this also happens when sitting in the bus. Maybe something wrong with prostate?

When I try to do the RK I feel absolutely nothing. There is no worry of farting, since I couldn't fart without tightening my abs! How do you do it then? I know (have read almost everything here, uff), the beginnings can be tough, but it is a little frustrating, that I have no idea, if I do it right. I decided to introduce some stretching and breathing routine - hopefully this can help with time.
Yet I still cannot grasp the idea of "holding" the RK. How can you hold something that virtually doesn't exist? I know that it is supposed to be a "push", but I cannot push anything down there. So for now I only make this breathing excercises, trying to visualize this muscle being pumped with air.

Finally, the last, but not least issue. My prolapse. It seems to me that because of it, I have developed a habit of uncounsciously keeping my pelvic floor muscles contracted, so that the rectum doesn't drop out. What is more, even letting gases (which I have to do quite often due to my gastric problems) is not a simple task, since I need to first clench my PC/BC and then make pressure with abdominals to let it go (sometimes I must "pump" it like that few times before it can go; if not, I would put pressure directly to the rectum). Same with defecating, whithout it, plus without deep breathing into the stomach, it just wouldn't go. Now the question is, won't that be an obstacle in curing my PE with the excercises suggested on this site? And what in your opinion should I concentrate mainly on? Stretching + RK, maybe some edging as well? I am quite desperate to get help with this; I can't imagine myself starting sexual life in condition such as actual...

Ok, maybe it's enough for a start. I would really appreciate any response from you. Should you have any questions - please don't hesitate to ask. And please forgive me if I wrote too much - I found it necessary to make the situation quite clear (I didn't mention everything I probably should have, though ). Also sorry for my English, I am not a native.

Regards,
Herbert

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

Anybody...?

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

If you need to bring your ABs into the movement to RK then let it be.. within time you shouldn't need to, yet I don't see it a problem if you have to.

A front RK is the movement that you do to piss faster/harder.. don't know how else to explain it. My RK didn't get strong until I started core exercises; it seems that once I strengthened my core, RK's became really easy to do.

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

Thank you for your response.
Well, I'm not pretty sure whether I need to bring my ABs to RK... The problem is that I wouldn't know if I am doing it right anyway. I'm already familiar with the theory and I can even recognize the muscle and its function while urinating (although it's impossible for me to piss stronger without tensing all my lower abs - maybe the muscle is to weak to follow for itself; btw I sometimes need to "pump" with breathing, PC and abs contractions to start urinating at all...). I can even distinguish (in my body) between front and back kegel muscle (penis vs. anus), contracting deliberately just one of the two for a short period. But to know something and to make it work as an isolated exercise is a totally different thing...

What do you mean by core exercises? I guess you don't confuse them with "pelvic floor" ones? Well, as far as the core is concerned, it is apparently also very weak in my case, yet the problem is that I can't tense the core too much due to my prolapsus. Even while sitting in the hindi squat position there is a risk that it will simply start falling out a bit. That's why I think it would be lovely to get to the point when I can isolate my PC and sphincter, so that reverse kegel in the front wouldn't cause loosening in the anus. If that is possible of course.

I face some problems with squatting and particularly with sitting in a hindi squat position. It makes my knees (especially right one) hurt a bit, as well as the hips or axils. I always had some problems with this muscles, but hopefully it will pass with time? Do I need to warm up myself before performing this?

Today and tomorrow I exercised a little and made 20 min edging session and I must admit I am a bit depressed of how bad my condition is. 20 min of edging is in fact like 10 or more min of doing nothing, since the PONR approaches so quickly that I must stop after few strokes every now and again.

I also come to a conclussion, that my PC is not that strong. When I would clench it firmly for longer than 3 seconds during the edging, my legs and lower abdomen would start to shake and twitch(?), particularly when lying down on my back with bended knees and foots on ground.

Well, I'm quite a melancholic person, with tendency towards discouragement. That's why all this PE issue seems far beyond my reach... I know, the head is the most important part in this game, but it's not so easy to overcome.


PS One more thing. I've read somewhere in the forum that there are basically two ways of dealing with IK: either to immediately contract PC on our own (for 1-3 sec, if I'm correct; so that our body would teach itself, that it is us who are under controll), or to fight it back with RK. The problem is I seem incapable of doing any of these two... Or maybe I get the idea wrong?

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

After a week I can't see any progress. I still don't know if perform RK correctly (or: if I do them at all); and I find it pretty tough to "hold" something which doesn't cause any feelings, isn't tyring etc. When you clench FK everything is clear...

However, maybe RK work a little bit, since I observed some drop in erection quality. The penis seems more lazy. The problem is it doesn't affect my stamina -- I still get to PONR very quickly (and then reach full erection, but it's always connected with full arousal and coming close to PONR).
I also noticed problems while urinating: it's both hard to start (loosen muscles enough) and not to have some IK that make me stop for a second.

But the very most interesting part is that I am way too sensitive. After a while after starting edging session (it means: arousal over, say, 50%) when grabbing the penis with both hands, so that it would feel like inside a vagina, I cannot control myself enough. The very pulsing sensation which I get from the hold makes me more and more aroused, eventually leading to IK and -- if not stopped at the last moment -- to ejaculation. I tried to oppose them with relaxing and loosening muscle tension, but I just can't resist and it doesn't work. It happened to me today, which was not meant to be the ejaculation day though...

I know you are probably not very interested in yet another boring topic of this kind, but if anybody had something to suggest, please don't hesitate.

Regards.

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

Oh my... Today after two days of not edging (I was away), I wasn't able to masturbate for more than couple of minutes. So much tension in the penis that it exploded after several strokes, even though I stopped immidiately after feeling PONR approaching. Man, I really can't see much hope for myself in a real sexual intercourse...

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

You have just started training you will improve with practise both with hindi squat and with rk .

Do you have a physio help you with some of your issues?

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

So much tension in the penis that it exploded after several strokes

I don't see it as tension, a high level of sexual excitement, yes, Slow down, don't be in a hurry, going slower will let you control yourself easier. ( or so I hope )

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

You have just started training you will improve with practise both with hindi squat and with rk .

Hopefully... But it's pretty annoying that I still can't get this RK exercises. It simply doesn't work! I've read many posts here that someone would feel soreness the other day after first attempts to do it. And I think: wow, I don't even feel anything being "pushed out", so there is nothing to be sore.
I know that everything will come with time, but the problem is I'm not able to exercise without feeling anything at all. I mean: it's still not clear to me, whether it's enough to breath with my stomach and think of something down there being pushed, or maybe to clench my lower abs, or maybe to try to make pee without peeing... Many of you write about "holding" rk, long or short rk's -- I guess I could "hold" it forever, and that makes me think I'm not doing it properly at all. And all this stretching and squatting I've introduced doesn't seem to help with RK either.
I know it needs patience, but I've also read a lot cases here that the progress in RK exercises is immediate. If it doesn't occur, it seems that something doesn't work as it should.

Do you have a physio help you with some of your issues?

No, I don't. Should I look for one?

[Cokafor Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cokafor]

You have alot of issues that sound familiar(I have experienced many myself). I have gotten 3 hemorrhoids from straining with RKs.

My advice, concentrate on squats(try sumo squats or regular flat footed if hindis give you issues. If your knee hurts squat while holding onto something for support) and just relaxing the pelvic floor(Meditative RKs) and becoming aware of how those muscles feel in a relaxed state.

Truthfully your biggest issue may be arousal. When I used to watch porn the more aroused I was the quicker I blew. I could last a while with low arousal levels. For this look into plateau edging where you get used to maintaining your erection at high arousal levels.

I'm rooting for you guy. Good luck!

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

Thanks.

I've been trying plateau edging recently. The problem is my body is not used to being in plateau at all; once fully erected, I'm prone to either loose erection, or (if more aroused and excited) go to the PONR almost immediately. But I don't give up trying, so my practice at the moment is that I stroke a little in the beginning, very slowly, trying to notice every IK. But generally I simply put the penis into a two-hand grip (simulating being inside) and just wait, breathe and observe my reactions, sometimes, if arousal decreases, moving/thrusting just a little bit. Although I should rather "gain control", mostly (particularly if think of something sexual) being in such grip I feel more and more aroused and eventually have to release the grip totally, because of PONR approaching...

Frankly speaking, I don't feel much tension in the PF area; or the other way: I don't feel anything relaxing down there while for instance doing hindi squat or meditative RK. So either my PE is not due to PF tension, or the PF is tensed to such a degree, that I can barely feel it relaxing.
I would say that most of the time during edging my PF is pretty relaxed, but it doesn't stop IK's from occuring quite frequently. Today (2nd day of 3 day edging routine) they were really horrible and it's strange because before I had spent much time in hindi squat, made some stretching and tried for the first time the tennis ball massage. I thought I would be more resistant, but I would IK every other move right from the beginning of the session.

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

And yes, apparently arousal is one of the biggest issues in my case, yet I'm not sure, if really the most important one. All my nervous system is very sensitive and get excited really fast; if we add to this that I used to be quite shy whole my life and didn't have any serious relations with women, but think about sex a lot, it's obvious that PE can be my problem. However there are sessions when I don't get that excited (frankly speaking is usually very boring to me -- even if pleasurable -- and I would rather spend this time in another way), but still PE symptoms occur.

[Cokafor Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cokafor]

IKs are hard to get rid of, I am only getting around to it now after 3 consistent months of reverse kegels, squats, and generally keeping my PF in a relaxed state. If you have IKs you have a tense pelvic floor, improve your body awareness and you will feel this. It takes a while until you feel the tension, more time to feel what the PF in a relaxed state feels like, and even more time to stretch it out to a consistently relaxed state

For now your routine sounds good, keep it up, it wall pay off. Make sure to give your penis a rest every now and then

The point of plateau edging is not to avoid arousal but to embrace it, get used to it, and stay in that aroused state indefinitely. Honestly I wish I could get as aroused as you do

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

For now your routine sounds good, keep it up, it wall pay off.

Hopefully!

Today I had some bleeding after defecation, which I have not experienced since long time ago. It seems like one of the hemorrhoids got a little inflamed again. But can it be caused by the exercises? Or maybe the tennis ball massage which I tried yesterday? Don't know, but I hope it won't get worse with time. I have enough problems apart from this.

As to the tennis ball massage: do you think it can be done in different position than sitting? For instance: laying on the side and manually moving the ball along the perineum? Or maybe even one doesn't need a ball at all and can simply massage the area with his fingers? What do you reckon? Doing it while sitting is not very comfortable, and for me personally is a little painful for the pelvic bones, if the ball is situated between them.

Regards,
Herbert

[Herbert00 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Herbert00]

It's weird, but after an hour of relaxation, stretching and tennis ball massage I had an edging session full of intensive IK's, right from the beginning of erection, not to mention the first strokes. Of course it is probably important that it was my third day (ejaculation time), so I was pretty sensitive, but I would expect at least a little progress here...

My EQ is also not so good. Only in the end, where very close to PONR and stimulating (but rather with single, very short touching and, occassionally, brief strokes) mainly the sweet spot under the top of the glans (it indeed feels sweet in a very strict sense!), the penis gets really big and hard. But generally it's still like that: either EQ is weak, or I'm very close to PONR. That's why it is impossible to insert penis into a STU for longer than several seconds: I'm either too flaccid, or would blow out in a moment.