Attention2detail's Log to complete control

[closed139 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed139]

Hello Friends,

I finally deceided to join this forum after reading various threads for the last year.

Background: I am 29 years old and I am very inconsistent in my sexual performance. Most experiences have been short in duration with a few outliers here and there. Lately, I am battling the urge to ejaculate within seconds of penitration. In a select few previous experiences I have been able to have sex for 20-30minutes without thinking about it. I have completely eliminated viewing porn for about a month. My previous masturbation habits are very likely the reason I have no control. I have been masturbating fast with porn for over 10 years. I am determined to understand my bodies reflexes/responses in order to master my sex life. This will be a long journey however, I know that it can be accomplished. I am hoping to have increased control in about a years time. I am assuming that my case will take longer to resolve than most due to the length of time I have been practicing poor habits.

Observations:
Physical - After reading many threads on this forum I have started a kegel/RK routine. After a week of training, I now know that my pelvic floor is extremely tight. I am still working on proper RK form as I feel my stomach tense when pushing. It's apparent that I hold an incredible amount of tension in my PC/BC muscles. I check in on my pelvic floor throughout the day and every time it is tensed up and I have to consciously relax it.

Edging - I have also begun a plateau edging routine. While I have been edging for about year with no sustainable results, I seem to be having some success with relaxing away from the PONR while plateau edging. When I edge now, I am stroking very slow and sensual, in order to attempt to reverse any IKs and further understand my bodies responses. My thought is to build my stamina at a slow pace and gradually progress to faster stroking as time goes on. I do not ejaculate at the end of any edging sessions. Hoping this will retrain my reflexes more effectively. Thoughts? Not having to much success with RKs and edging. Regular Kegel and calming down seem to be a bit more effective. Any recommendations? I'm hoping that over time the RKs will help and I can integrate them into edging effectively.

Mental - My arousal can spike in an instant from 4 to 9. If while edging, I go into fantasy, I can reach the PONR almost instantly. With a blank mind I can draw out the process more successfully. My mind has been hard wired to ejaculate fast as a result of my poor habits. Any suggestions for mental focus and calming arousal or will this just take time and practice? Also, does anyone use meditation/ stretching to help relieve tension and stress? I have noticed recently my heart is beating out of my chest when I touch a woman. I am able to make my way inside for sure, but it's very hard to control after that.

Expectations:
From the community - I would like any input/support anyone can offer in gaining ejaculatory control. I would specifically like to hear from MinuteMan as I find his post most helpful. Any motivation would be greatly appreciated. I've read so much about not being able to control ejaculation and it is very defeating. This site has been a welcome relief in knowing there are those out there who have had success and are willing to assist others.

From myself - I will post updates to my log as often as possible. I will help others when I have achieved my personal goals. I will be disciplined. I have not and will not ever, use drugs, sprays, condoms (I am in a committed relationship), etc. I feel that those are masks for the problem. I don't want a quick cure, I want to master my sex life.

I am Looking forward to hearing from everyone out there and I hope my journey will help others. Stay tuned for updates. I am happy to answer most questions asked as well.

Kind Regards,

A2D

[closed139 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed139]

Day 1 - 12/2

Pelvic floor - 50K/50RK - Feeling tight as it has been since I started the Kegel/RK routine. I am taking time to relax and RK throughout the day. Working on isolation exercise as well while laying next down. Trying to not put any stress on my abs or diaphragm when doing a RK. Still work to be done there.

Edging - 20 minutes. EQ was very poor. Only solid for a very short time. However, I am gaining some confidence that even though my rhythm is slow I am able to RK and relax some of the high arousal down to continue without stopping. Brain seems to be very focused on finishing which is why I've deceided not to ejaculate at all during edging for now. I've been on the kegel/RK routine for a week now with plateau edging just about everyday.

Are rest days important for kegel routine and edging?

[closed139 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed139]

Day 2 - 12/3

Edged around the 20 minutes mark today. EQ decent, however once I go into fantasy it's like the lights turned on and I'm climbing the arousal scale up to 9 fast.
I messed around trying some RKs and light RKs during the session. Can't say it had much effect yet.

Interestingly, I am finding that I can almost relax away from the PONR without stopping a few times if I catch myself early enough. I'm starting to think of controlling the tension build up like a sneeze. It can be calmed down and avoided. What happens when I do this is my body gets a warm rush of pleasure. It's actually pretty awesome. I will continue to experiment with this. Best way to describe it is like I'm swallowing the arousal from my penis into my body.

I am going to do some kegel and RK excercises later today. I can already feel a difference in my pelvic floor when I pee. I also try to read away the IK after peeing just for fun. It's quite challenging.

Overall feeling very positive. What's life without an obstacle to overcome anyway.

Cheers!

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

You could consider increasing the rk % in your out of sex routine ,though if you do additional rk through the day to relax this might not be required .
As the intensity and volume of your k/rk routine is increased rest days become more necessary .
Your edgeing seems to be going well . Thoughts well most guys ejaculate at least some of he time so long as the goal is reached, however if you are in a relationship you might want to keep it for that . She will get good loads .
Re this
quote I do not ejaculate at the end of any edging sessions. Hoping this will retrain my reflexes more effectively. Thoughts? Not having to much success with RKs and edging. Regular Kegel and calming down seem to be a bit more effective. Any recommendations? I'm hoping that over time the RKs will help and I can integrate them into edging effectively. Unquote
The general progression in edging forms would be stop /start , plateau and then kegel/rk forms . So rk edging is a bit advanced at this point however you are making progress so meh.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

By the way edging in isolation is well tolerated , you have to be more carefull with k/rk work to stay within your level of condition . If you are doing PE work as well total training volume becomes an issue.

[closed139 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed139]

Day 3 - 12/4

Continuing a 50k/50rk routine everyday until further posted. Holding each for 3-5 seconds while performing RKs throughout the day.

Edged 20 min with very low EQ however once I became fully erect I did the relaxing technique (which may be some form of RK or rev. root lock, not sure) the EQ went down fast. I think I might save these for closer to the PONR. Overall I am able to get much further along my 20 min in a higher state of arousal. Feels awesome for sure.

Day 4 - 12/5

Edged twice for 20/30min. EQ was excellent. Up and solid the entire duration of both sessions. I think I am starting to get some really good arousal conditioning now. I can kind of control my fantasies so they don't jump me from 6 to 9.5 anymore. Now it's like 6 to 8 which is awesome. I switched up positions for edging today from laying on my back to on my knees. It was much more challenging on my knees and I had to stroke very slow when doing so. Cannot wait to try this again to continue to increase my arousal conditioning. I can feel my pelvic floor holding tension when on my knees which makes it harder to stay in control/stroke fast. Still figuring out how to relax myself in that position and incorporate RKs to bring my arousal down. Lastly, I was able to speed up strokes finally while on my back. Making good progress so for.

I have to say, at this point, I almost am not even concerned about when I ejaculate anymore. I am having an awesome time discovering new things about my body. I feel like arousal and ejaculation are 75% mental 25% physical. It's awesome to edge in the pleasure zone for 20 minutes.

I am still not going to ejaculate during edging. I feel empowered after a session without ejaculating. It feels like I have concrete will power to end a session without ejaculating. The 20 min in the pleasure zone feels way better than a 15 second orgasm.

Peg- thanks so much for your input. I am not doing any enlargement exercises. I am very happy with the size of my member. Do you think I should increase intensity of K/RK work and cycle training every other day? Please provide your thoughts as to a routine for this training. Also, I am edging just about everyday for consistency, should I cycle every other day for edging as well?

I would also like to that this community for offering a helpful place to voice concerns and training strategies and progress. We are all in this together. Stay tuned for more.

A2D

[closed139 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed139]

Day 5 - 12/6

More challenging edging session today. EQ was excellent. Reached the PONR in around 10 min of med/slow stroking. Nothing seemed to bring me down from that point. After some attempts at relaxing, slowing down, RKs, I finally stopped for about 10 seconds which worked well. Continued to the full 20 minutes.

On another note, Kegel and RK work is getting more controlled and easieir.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Edgeing is well tolerated and usually has limited need for rest days when done in isolation. However pe work or a heavy k/rk routine can play into this so I just suggest if you think you need a rest day take 1.
Rest days for k/rk work become necessary as training volume and intensity increase . My advice is usually general in nature , MM may give more specific advice .

[closed139 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed139]

Day 6

45 minutes edging session. Reached PONR in less than 8 minutes. Very slow strokes and pauses the whole time to stay at high arousal without ejaculating. RK and relaxing really weren't helping this session. At the 45 minute mark I got too close to the PONR and ejaculated. Wasn't thrilled about that because it wasn't a controlled ejaculation but no worries there.

Day 7

Edged for 30 min. Reach PONR at the 10 minutes mark. EQ has been great these last two sessions I should add. Slight RKand relaxing is helping now so I can get more strikes in before pausing for a moment at the PONR. I peaked 3-4 times this way. Had sex later on. About 10-12 minutes. Slower pace, speeding up at some points then a well times 1-2second pause to reset. Overall, I was much more in tune with my body then I ever have been. Seems like everything is working and going well.

Like I said previously, I don't think I have the most severe case of non-control (sometimes I last long, sometimes a few minutes), but I want to be able to ejaculate on command however short or long I desire. That is what my journey here is all about. I am hoping it will help others as well, especially to see that when you take control of your mind you can pretty much accomplish anything. I will be the proof of this. Dedication, training, and above all patients will bring results and change. Lastly, I think there is a big misconception in some threads about what sex actually is. It's not what you see in porn. It's about connection and energy. That's how you bring a woman to orgasm. Learning to fully control the energy is what I am after. Until next time. A2D.

[rapid Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rapid]

nice improvement in just 7 days, keep working with dedication and update us regularly

[closed139 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed139]

Day 8

20 minute edge today. EQ great for first 10 minutes then disappeared the remaining 10. Did not hit the PONR.

I have much more control during the excitement stage now I am realizing. I am also only doing RKs in my routine for now.

[closed139 Member Find all posts View Profile Close closed139]

Day 9

20 min edge. Reaching PONR within a few minutes. This was not expected but none the less made the full 20 minutes with some stopping.

Day 10

30 min edging. Again reaching the PONR very early in the session. I found that I can stay in an awesome plateau phase with just concentrating on the base with very slow and short strokes. Hoping to build more movement later on to this stage. That was very encouraging. Had sex later on in the day lasting 15-20 minutes. There is no consistency to my sexual stamina haha. This time I just felt very in control and didn't let my thrusting get ahead of my control zone, mind you I was going at all different speeds (slow, soft, fast, hard, deep, shallow, etc...) and mixing it up fluently. Hoping to continue with this type of control. I am slacking on my kegel routine. I have only been doing RKs when standing throughout the day. Wondering why edging was harder to control today than sex.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

One thing to consider. Don't keep edging or masturbating if your erection goes away. You don't want to train your penis that no erections are ok. It is better to wait. good job, keep up the good work.

[LateBloom Member Find all posts View Profile Close LateBloom]

One thing to consider. Don't keep edging or masturbating if your erection goes away. You don't want to train your penis that no erections are ok. It is better to wait. good job, keep up the good work.

If it fades after stopping at the PONR you can "keep going" to bring it back though, ya? I find that each time I have to stop, it gets harder to bring it back, usually after the third time it's more trouble than it's worth so I stop at that point.

[closed224 Senior Member Member of the Month Dec 2014, Feb 2017 Find all posts View Profile Close closed224]

Can you balloon instead of completely stopping? It is better if you can maintain the erection for the whole session. If you need to stop completely you can, but if you can stop enough not to cum, but continue enough the keep an erection even better.