the last few months have been a huge turn around from my insecure, PMOing self and i have seen major progress from making some simple lifestyle changes. i believe my journey is a very personal experience and i'm aware that some things i've done may or may not
work for everyone.
a very long, painful, emotional and rollercoaster of a journey summarized: i learned to stop craving the stimuli that porn offers. i still watch and enjoy porn a couple times a week because i believe i've taught my brain to respond differently to porn/masturbstion versus real sex since i'm in a relationship. let me explain:
it really does all start in the head. the more i started edging without porn after being used to it for so long, the more i started to appreciate the physical touch sensation of sex rather than the visual and audio of porn. i noticed within even the first couple times of deep focused edging (with lube) that i could control my arousal fairly well. since i was still struggling with PIED i depended on my imagination a lot and even when i had some of the craziest, realistic fantasies i still was in good control.
i was so proud and happy that i was in control so i kept telling myself everytime i edge that this is what "normal" feels like, and i believe this is what has helped me overcome my attachment to porn. i learned that sex and porn are from 2 completely opposite ends of the sex spectrum.
when i first started having sex with my girlfriend, despite being super confident and comfortable with her, i discovered that missionary was my absolute weakness. everytime i thrusted in, i could just feel my BC muscle throbbing to contract approaching PONR. lucky for me, i have a short refrac period so i'm able to maintain an erection after cumming the first time so everytime me and my girlfriend had sex we would have sex twice- she would either make me cum once during foreplay or i would last a couple minutes slowly penetrating her but then the second time around i would be ready to go hard (pun intended). so i used this time of invulnerability to ejaculate to really study what keeps me relaxed and how to focus on her rather than my penis so much.
i noticed during missionary first and foremost, that hip position and the angle you're thrusting really does affect the pelvic floor, abs and surrounding leg muscles. i found that my BC muscle relaxed if i used more of my hips rather than my legs to thrust, because it's less strain on the surrounding pelvic floor muscles. the smoother you can make your thrusts, the easier it'll be on the pelvic floor. each position is different, and i believe missionary is one of the tougher ones because of the core muscle required, but it all comes down to experience and practice.
lastly, breathing properly is THE EASIEST WAY TO SEE IMMEDIATE PROOF OF RESULTS!
i discovered this in the shower edging one day; i was getting so into it and remaining in control that the sensation became hard to handle so i had to start breathing out of my mouth. i was going at it pretty good so i dropped my head back and allowed myself to totally relaxed by taking steady rhythmic breaths out loud. there's multiple articles that explain the benefits of controlled breathing so i won't explain that, but for so long i never thought it was important. when i naturally just was edging though, it really opened my eyes as to how much control i can have as long as my body is comfortable in everyway.
i'm no where near perfect, but i've come a long ways and i'm proud. i'm dating my dream girl and despite having to sometimes be patient, she's made it clear that im pleasing her right. anything is possible guys, just stick to it.
work for everyone.
a very long, painful, emotional and rollercoaster of a journey summarized: i learned to stop craving the stimuli that porn offers. i still watch and enjoy porn a couple times a week because i believe i've taught my brain to respond differently to porn/masturbstion versus real sex since i'm in a relationship. let me explain:
it really does all start in the head. the more i started edging without porn after being used to it for so long, the more i started to appreciate the physical touch sensation of sex rather than the visual and audio of porn. i noticed within even the first couple times of deep focused edging (with lube) that i could control my arousal fairly well. since i was still struggling with PIED i depended on my imagination a lot and even when i had some of the craziest, realistic fantasies i still was in good control.
i was so proud and happy that i was in control so i kept telling myself everytime i edge that this is what "normal" feels like, and i believe this is what has helped me overcome my attachment to porn. i learned that sex and porn are from 2 completely opposite ends of the sex spectrum.
when i first started having sex with my girlfriend, despite being super confident and comfortable with her, i discovered that missionary was my absolute weakness. everytime i thrusted in, i could just feel my BC muscle throbbing to contract approaching PONR. lucky for me, i have a short refrac period so i'm able to maintain an erection after cumming the first time so everytime me and my girlfriend had sex we would have sex twice- she would either make me cum once during foreplay or i would last a couple minutes slowly penetrating her but then the second time around i would be ready to go hard (pun intended). so i used this time of invulnerability to ejaculate to really study what keeps me relaxed and how to focus on her rather than my penis so much.
i noticed during missionary first and foremost, that hip position and the angle you're thrusting really does affect the pelvic floor, abs and surrounding leg muscles. i found that my BC muscle relaxed if i used more of my hips rather than my legs to thrust, because it's less strain on the surrounding pelvic floor muscles. the smoother you can make your thrusts, the easier it'll be on the pelvic floor. each position is different, and i believe missionary is one of the tougher ones because of the core muscle required, but it all comes down to experience and practice.
lastly, breathing properly is THE EASIEST WAY TO SEE IMMEDIATE PROOF OF RESULTS!
i discovered this in the shower edging one day; i was getting so into it and remaining in control that the sensation became hard to handle so i had to start breathing out of my mouth. i was going at it pretty good so i dropped my head back and allowed myself to totally relaxed by taking steady rhythmic breaths out loud. there's multiple articles that explain the benefits of controlled breathing so i won't explain that, but for so long i never thought it was important. when i naturally just was edging though, it really opened my eyes as to how much control i can have as long as my body is comfortable in everyway.
i'm no where near perfect, but i've come a long ways and i'm proud. i'm dating my dream girl and despite having to sometimes be patient, she's made it clear that im pleasing her right. anything is possible guys, just stick to it.
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