Premature Ejaculation Success Story: What I did

[Big Stef]

Basic Background

I'm 26 years old and have had premature ejaculation my whole life. I'm a pretty attractive guy, but I've never had a girlfriend. This means that I have had a lot of drunken one night stand sex, but never anything consistent (sober at least). Once I started having sex fairly regularly, I could last as long as I wanted about 2/3rds of the time provided I was plastered (12+ drinks). Any less than plastered, and I'm lasting 2 minutes tops. If brought a girl back, I would usually rip a shot or 2 while she was in the bathroom to improve my odds of preforming. The only time I would have sex sober was morning after sex. During this I would last 1 minute tops. In the back of my mind, I knew it was an issue but I chose to ignore it. I didn't care about these girls, so it was easy to ignore.

About a year and a half ago, for the first time in my life I met a girl I was really into. After hanging out for a month or so, we began to have sex. Only it was sober sex. Literally 2 thrusts in, I have to stop, I was going cum. I put it back in, 2 more thrusts, I can't control it and I cum. She's nice about it, but at this point the realization that I have a problem hits me. Over the next 6 weeks or so, we have sober sex multiple times. Every time I'm lasting 30 seconds tops. I tried everything I knew at the time. I would jerk off right before I head over. I'd fill a water bottle with 3 shots of whiskey and chug it, and then split a couple beers with her. Then do math problems. It didn't work. I couldn't have sex unless I was wasted (and even that failed about a third of the time). Then she broke up with me, citing that she wasn't ready for a relationship yet. Maybe that was true, but I couldn't help but think that if I was better she may have stuck around. This was the driving force to correct my issue once and for all.

My Original Approach

I read tons of threads and took some advice.

• I quit watching porn and began edging - This didn't seem all that hard, and I could pornless edge for 20 minutes after only a week or 2.
• I began a kegal and reverse kegal routine - I didn't think I had a weak pelvic floor (possibly unbalanced) but I figured it couldn't hurt.

I brought a girl back a few weeks later, I preformed, but was plastered. In the morning, she blew me, and I used RKs and lasted probably a full 2 minutes (better than I had ever done). This was a victory, I was seeing progress.

I continued this routine a few more weeks. I went over to a girls place and came in my pants dry humping. I had gone backwards.

I was a bit disheartened, but I didn't give up I continued to explore ideas.

• I edged 20 minutes a day using a fleshlight STU - I decided that I was dedicated to overcoming, ponied up, and bought the STU. The STU made edging VERY difficult. I was fighting the urge to cum in around the same amount of time for real sex. Over about 2 months, I built up my edging time to the full 20 minutes. I was ecstatic. I felt like I was close.

After reaching the 20 minute edging mark with the STU, I went back to a girls place. She wasn't cute, but I was excited to try our my new skills. Whelp, I came about a minute into the blow job. Never even got to sex.

I was really bummed at this point. I put in roughly 4 months of work, committing to it nearly every day, and I had no progress. At this point I felt helpless, and thought I'd never conquer it on my own. I figured I may need assistance from medication. I contemplated getting some sort of SSRI prescription, but ultimately decided that it wasn't worth it.

• I started taking St Johns Wort - St Johns Wort is sort of an 'herbal' SSRI. I thought that it would be a good alternative. I did see SOME improvement during edge sessions when I took more than the recommended dosage. I still approached the point of no return at the same time intervals, but the urge was subdued slightly making it a bit easier to come down from. However, I felt I was at risk for depression and I was really afraid to fuck with my brain chemistry. I also feared that relying on depression supplements would convince myself that I was depressed, and would drive me into it. While there was a SLIGHT benefit during masturbation, I ultimately decided to stop.

At this point, I had been diligently working at it for 5-6 months and turned myself from a 10 second man into a 20 second man. Whoopee. I was mentally exhausted. Training wasn't working, St Johns Wort wasn't for me. I gave up.

What I did the second time around

After 5 or 6 months of going back to my usually successful get plastered to have sex method, I decided to give it a go one more time. I spent a lot more time researching the subject and all of the potential causes.

• Certainly had an oversensitive penis
• Certainly had an issue getting way too excited too quickly
• Moderate anxiety
• Tight pelvic floor
• Showed signs of high histamine
• Possibly low GABA (may as well try everything)
• I did not believe I had a weak pelvic floor

I figured if I was going to give it another go, I was going to try everything.

• I started taking Magnesium and Ashwagandha for anxiety - Both of these are pretty safe. In fact, most people are deficient in Magnesium, so it's a good supplement to take regardless. Magnesium also has a muscle relaxing effect, which I thought might help my tight pelvic floor. End of the day, neither had much of an impact on my performance. I still take magnesium for general health reasons. Slow breathing and positive thinking made a bigger impact here. Saying "this feels good, but you're not going to cum" to myself seemed to help.
• I started edging (no porn) using my hands and lotion and sort of a death grip to desensitize - I ditched the STU, because I moved and no longer had my own bathroom, making using it awkward. Death grip isn't quite the right word. I would lube up both hands. The top hand grabs the head sorta firmly and strokes down the shaft with a twisting motion. The other makes an 'OK' sign and grips below the fist and strokes with the top hand (this hand represents the pussy lips grabbing your dick.) This technique is very stimulating and will desensitize an over-sensitive penis, after just a few weeks.

At this point, my penis was less sensitive and I was preforming every time when I was plastered, and about 2/3rds when I was just pretty drunk. I was still getting too excited too quickly, and could not preform sober, but hey, progress was progress. I felt like I 'leveled up', my 12+ drink performance was now my 10 drink performance.

• I started doing penis stretches and tennis ball massage to tackle a tight pelvic floor - I came across a thread where a guy fixed his PE through penis stretches and tennis ball massage alone. I felt as if I had a tight floor so i gave it a shot. I would preform the stretches, and massages twice a day. My pelvic floor felt 'looser' and my flaccid dick hung lower. I saw some small improvements in edging sessions as a result. However, the longer you wait to edge after the massage/stretch the less of an affect it has. So if you're struggling, I would suggest working in a tennis ball massage 15 minutes before if possible.
• I started taking GABA and Green Tea supplements - I did not see any effect from these. Give it a shot, but it did not help me at all. I do not take these anymore.
• I started taking Quercetin and L-Methionine for histamine levels - These are completely safe whether or not you have high histamine. I had many signs of high histamine levels which are linked to premature ejaculation. After about 3 days of taking these I got similar results as St. Johns Wort. The peaks were just as common, but generally not quite as intense and easier to come down from. My L-Methionine bottle ran out and I did not see any affects leading me to believe it was quercetin the whole time. (L-methionine did however clear up a stubborn wort)

I was seeing improvements, but I knew I would never tackle my PE if I didn't tackle the main issue that I was hitting the PONR peak way to early and often. I had tried a similar approach to edging for months without much success. I decided I needed to take a smarter approach. While lifting I had an epiphany.If your goal is to bench 200lbs 5 times, but you can only currently do 150 5 times. What do you do? You don't put repeatedly put 200lbs on the bar and keep attempting to lift it 5 times when you can't even lift it once. You attempt to lift 155lbs 5 times until you can, then you bump the weight to 160, and so on until you get to 200.

I realized my edge sessions were closer to repeatedly jumping straight to 200lbs, instead of slowly building up. I was applying a lot of stimulation, going straight to the edge of the PONR, stopping and repeating. I might do that for 20 minutes, but at the end of the day I wasn't actually improving.

I set out to have a progression based edging sessions.

1. No porn, slow stroke, light grip, 1 hand, stop stroking all together to comedown
2. No porn, slow stroke, start of light grip, progress to normal grip. Stop stroking or go back to light grip to comedown
3. No porn, start light and slow, progress to normal grip with a little more rhythmic stroke, to come down try to slow stroke, use light stroke or stop stroking if necessary
4. No Porn, start light and slow, progress to normal grip with rhythm, and work in some of the grip technique i discussed in the desensitizing section. To come down try to slow stroke, use light stroke or stop stroking if necessary

My edging sessions were 10-20 minutes. I never saw much value in going longer. I did ejaculate at the end of the sessions. I experimented with not ejaculating, it didn't seem to work and made me feel on edge.

The most important thing to remember is that with each step you progress to the more stimulating strokes. Yo don't jump right into them. You are training your pelvic floor to remain relaxed. Also, when you decide to ejaculate, take a full minute or 2 to work up to it.

During this, I began to take 1000mg of vitamin C twice daily. Vitamin C helps you metabolize histamine in the gut. I cannot say for sure, but it DID seem to help my pelvic floor stay relaxed and allowed me to progress quicker.

After, I conquered these, I went back to step 2 and started incorporate porn. I could feel myself getting better.

During this time I went on a date with a girl. I ended up drinking the equivalent of about 6 drinks. I have a high tolerance, so i was buzzed, not drunk. We ended up having sex, and holy shit I preformed as long as I wanted! I was so excited. I went for a completely sober session the next and lasted about 3 minutes. Even though i wasn't there yet, I was improving. My 12+ drink performance became my 6 drink performance, and my sober time had gone from 10-30 seconds to 3 minutes.

I kept with it. The next week, I went back over that girls place. I had intentions of drinking 2-4 and trying again. However, she was on her period. She did blow me (very well I might add) and I had to really concentrate to cum after only 2 drinks. For the first time in my life, I was making real progress.

I continued with this progression training for another month. I found myself a steady lay, and went to test my progress. This time I had 2-3 drinks, and probably had the best performance of my life. I was in complete control. A few weeks later I had 2 drinks and went condom-less. I lasted about 5 minutes. Not terrible, just another step. A few weeks later I performed as long as I wanted after 2 drinks, but no condom.

Now I can last as long as I want about 2/3rds of the time and 3-5 minutes 1/3 without any alcohol. There is still some room for improvement, but holy shit, this is weight lifted off my back. I am so relieved. I only perform the high stimulation edge routine about once a week now. I still ensure to not have masturbation sessions under 10 minutes.

Summary

Think of everything like weight training

See below for my analogies. They are listed in order of importance. The combination of everything below got me to where I'm at.

Progression edging is like lifting weights - If you simply try to jump to the goal, you won't improve.

Desensitizing is like taking testosterone for people with low T - It's not necessary, but it will bring you on an even playing field and will sure make progression quicker

Supplements are like weight training supplements - Again, not necessary, but they make it that little bit easier, so why not? Here are the supplements I recommend (with dosages)

• Vitamin C, 1000mg twice a day. Honestly, seemed to see a lot of improvement with this one. I will continue to take it.
• Quercetin, 800mg 2-3x a day. I no longer take this daily, but I did see some positive effects. I recommend this during the progression phases. Also, if you are expecting to have sex before you're fully ready, an extra dose an hour before gives a small boost
• Magnesium 100-200mg twice a day. I saw more improvement in my sleep than anything. This made it easier to relax. Good for general health. Optional.

Tennis ball massage is like foam rolling and stretching - I really only do this on an at-need basis now. If I feel it's getting too tight I'll roll up. Probably like once every 2 weeks



I know this was long winded, but I'd figure I'd give you a glimpse of my journey and what I've learned. I'll answer any questions you have! Thanks

[esco555]

Congratulations great achievement.

Could you expand a bit on your rk/kegel routine please. How much emphasis did you put on rk routine to relax pelvic floor?

[Drjohn]

For a man to orgasm while just dry humping, putting on a condom, kissing etc requires alot of pelvic floor tension.

Good job and Keep at it

[SirPsycho]

Good job Man ! Just to know, how many times a week would you edge with your progression method ?

[swonpepmp]

Nice job, you really put in some perseverance!

[LazyM]

good job

[Big Stef]

The first time around I just found some RK weighted routine on here. However, the second time around I didn't do any K/RK as part of a routine. I would RK a bit during my edging to help come down, but that's really it. I was aware of what they were, and how to do them and how to use them, but I didn't exercise them outside of edging. While I don't think I needed the exercises to strengthen my muscles, they did help me develop the brain muscle connection the flex them without much thought.

[LazyM]

what would you say the best solution is to a sensitive penis ?

[Big Stef]

Good job Man ! Just to know, how many times a week would you edge with your progression method ?

Probably around 5 or 6 days a week. Whenever I could really. There wasn't improvement every day. But over time, there was, which was motivating to continue on.

[Big Stef]

what would you say the best solution is to a sensitive penis ?

The desensitizing grip method I talked about, worked for me. It only seemed to take 2-4 weeks. It's not like sex doesn't feel good any more, but it's no longer, HOLY SHIT I NEED TO CUM, once you start stroking.