Premature Ejaculation?

[hanging4big Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hanging4big]

Well, here is my PREMATURE EJACULATION STORY I can't last for more than 2 min. if my life depended on it. EVerytime I'm with some girl i eighter cum in my pants or right before i get in and IF i'm lucky I'll get a couple of pumps in her before i cum....yes i know it's a bad condition and i think i had the problem about the last 9 years). I feel the problem is that my body gets very excited during foreplay and during the act. Part of it may have to do with the fact that as a youngster, I would always masterbate as quickly as possible, not realizing what it would do to me in the future. This probebly went on for about 6 or 7 years until I became sexually active and realized it and is probebly the reason I have PE. I feel like because my body is so used to reaching orgasm so quickly, it transfers over to my sex life. And it is ruining my sex life and me having girlfriends. It so embarressing. I have tried to prolong masterbation for the past couple of months, hasent helped, i've tried masters and johnson technique, hasent help, i've tried excersizing my kegel muscle, hasent helped. If anything excersizing the kegel muscle has made it worse because if i flex that muscle during masterbation or sex i reach orgasm quicker. And on top of that I have a small penis which i'm working at to get bigger with hanging, clamping and pumping. But as Premature ejaculation goes I just can't find a way around it and i'm only 21. YEA, I KNOW. . If any of you have any advice for me or have beaten the disease yourself please let me know or share your story, thanks a lot for your help, I need it...thanks

[remek Founder Find all posts View Profile Close remek]

hanging,

First, and foremost, know that you're only 21! What's that mean?!? You have your whole life (and plenty of women) to fix this problem. There's no rush

Let me ask you a few questions before I give my diagnosis:

How often, on average, do you masturbate and ejaculate a week?

Do you always ejaculate?

Do you think about ejaculating (i.e. want to/ fear to/ don't want to) prior to and during sex? How about during masturbation?

Do you have a gf? Long-term? Short-term?

As a person that has dealt with this problem, I know exactly what you're going through -- so don't feel alone! Know that it is conquerable -- especially with the right techniques.

[hanging4big Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hanging4big]

Hey thanks for responding back and i appreaciate your help. Ok well i say that i'm only 21 meaning i'm young and have a sexual problems already compare to older men which i think have a greater chance getting problems like that as you get older. Maybe not. I don't know. That's probley more with erectile dyfunction in older men instead premature ejacualtion. Maybe not.
Well the reason i want to cure it asap is because i had this problem for a really long time now and I'm tired of ejaculating to quickly everytime i'm with a girl and i do have lot's of girls that want to fool around and i just can't please them as stamina goes and as years go by the longer i have the problem. Well now to your questions.
-I use to masturbate atleast 4-5 days a week, but i cut down latley to about 2-3 days a week. And yes i always ejaculate.

-I don't think i think anything prior or during sex except to try to satisfy the girl i 'm trying to have sex with. I kind of just go with the flow and just don't think. i don't think i even have the problem when i'm with a girl until it happens. As for masturbation i try to prolong my masturbations latley and i try not to cum , but i always do at the end of the stop and start technique. But before i learned about the exercise, i was thinking to cum and get it over with. It's like my glans have a mind of it's own and is super sensitve.

-I don't have a g/f. It's been 3 years. If i had my problem cured i think i would have one. That's what i miss most.

[remek Founder Find all posts View Profile Close remek]

Ok hanging, I think I can help. But honestly, you'll really really have to try. PE is no fun. In fact, it sucks. But it can be fixed. Keep in mind, though, that you can't rush it. That's why you're stuck in a jam in the first place! -- You're busy trying to get to the end result. This is why many men can't overcome PE. . . They feel like it's an impossible feat if they can't do it within a few weeks, or two months.

First: I think you hit the nail on the head. You've trained your body to cum fast. Your brain -- the control center of your orgasms -- doesn't know any better. You're mission is to train your brain differently. I'm sure you already know that.

Now here is my recommended course of action:

• First, don't stop kegeling. In fact, keep at it. Make your BC muscle really really strong. However, pay extra attention to your body, and your penis. Make sure you're not kegeling during sex. You only kegel once -- right before you cum -- and you kegel really hard. You hold it in like there's no tomorrow.

• I want you to masturbate every day. This may sound wierd, but trust me when I say you'll be able to hold it in better if you don't let the load build up. If you wait 2,3, and especially 4 days, then of course you're going to spurt quickly. It's like a volcano ready to blow. You can ejaculate every time, but only do this for one week, max.

• Now here's the important part. After you've masturbated a full week, I want you to cut your ejaculations in half. For example, ejaculate on day 1, 3, 5, and 7 -- but don't ejaculate on day 2, 4, or 6. Do this for two weeks. Then slowly dwinndle it down to where you're masturbating/ having sex daily, but only ejaculating 2 times max (usually in a girl). This is very important. You have to teach your body that ejaculation isn't the overall goal. It will do it on it's own, so long as you as you start ejaculating less.
  
  Note: The sooner you can get down to doing sexual activities with your penis (i.e. masturbation, sex, blow jobs, etc.), 7 days a week, while only masturbating two days, the better. If you can do that by next week, that would probably get you to your goal quicker. However, don't kill yourself if you do happen to ejaculate. Don't dwell on it. That is detrimental, and it will hold you back from reaching your goal. I promise you.

• You might want to find a girlfriend that is caring and understanding. This might sound funny -- "hey, get a girlfriend to cure your PE," but it works. Or even if you can find a friend/ sexbuddy to help you, it will really pay off. The more your practice the start/stop techniques, and the more time you spend having sex with a woman (without ejaculating), the sooner you'll be fixed.
  
  But it's no quick task. Take your time

I hope this helps. If you have any questions, or arguments, dwell ahead! I know PE isn't fun. It affects about 30 percent of American men, unfortunately...

[hanging4big Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hanging4big]

Hey thanks alot. I just have a couple of questions for you?

-has this technique worked for others or you?

-does this technique CURE PE?

-During the week of masturbation every day for a full week do you want me to masturbate with stop and start technique or just a regular usually under 2min masturbation?

-Also when you say "Then slowly dwinndle it down to where you're masturbating/ having sex daily, but only ejaculating 2 times max"- So your saying hear that i should masturbate daily (everyday) but only ejaculate twice? And if that's so what about the other days masturbating? Just don't ejaculate at all on those days, but masterbate??
I know you said with a girl would be better , but i have been in alot of embarressing moments that i really don't want to put myself in again until i have cured my problem. So i decided to put the women aside for awhile and accomplish this on my own until i feel ready.

[remek Founder Find all posts View Profile Close remek]

Hey thanks alot. I just have a couple of questions for you?

has this technique worked for others or you?

This technique has worked for others.... but more important, it has worked for me. I can't really say I "invented" the technique, as I just combined the ideas and theories of many PE fixes and "multi orgasmic" books.

I don't think I emphasized a few of the important points. Basically, the reason you are masturbating/ having sex daily is to allow your penis (and your brain) to get use to the fact that you don't have to ejaculate. . . This works tenfold if you minimize your ejaculations -- and thus, why I recommend ejaculating only two times a week.

Remember, your brain is trained on quick shooting mode. You have to change it. And these techniques, combined with the stop/start technique are the only way I have found to effectively work for me. Also, I didn't emphasize the stop/start technique either (also known as ballooning). When you masturbate, be sure to balloon. Use some of the combined techniques you already know. You might even want to do some reading. (The Multi-Orgasmic Man is a good book).

Also, I'm sure, after your problem is fixed, you can ejaculate much more if you want. But you probably won't want to. I find that if I hold in my ejaculations, I have a lot more energy... This is especially prevalent if I wait a while (i.e. 4 - 10 days).

-does this technique CURE PE?

It did for me . But curing PE, especially life-long PE, takes time. No matter what route you take. You have to commit.

-During the week of masturbation every day for a full week do you want me to masturbate with stop and start technique or just a regular usually under 2min masturbation?

I'm glad you asked. Definitely stop/start (balloon). Try to make it to twenty minutes without ejaculating. This may be hard at first, but it will be easy in time. Once you stop ejaculating all together, you can go for 20 minutes and then stop (without blowing your load). Soon, you can learn multiple orgasms . . .

-Also when you say "Then slowly dwinndle it down to where you're masturbating/ having sex daily, but only ejaculating 2 times max"- So your saying hear that i should masturbate daily (everyday) but only ejaculate twice? And if that's so what about the other days masturbating? Just don't ejaculate at all on those days, but masterbate??

Exactly. Masturbate/ Have sex daily, but only ejaculate twice a week. You're teaching your body that ejaculation isn't the primary goal.

I know you said with a girl would be better , but i have been in alot of embarressing moments that i really don't want to put myself in again until i have cured my problem. So i decided to put the women aside for awhile and accomplish this on my own until i feel ready.

This is absolutely understandable. You can surely wait for the girl until you have perfected everything on your own. Then you can start practicing with the female of your choice

Hope this helps. Also, have you tried any breathing techniques or moving your sexual energy throughout your body?

[remek Founder Find all posts View Profile Close remek]

hanging,

How is the PE coming along?

[DarkTrick Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DarkTrick]

Hanging (and anyone else interested in lasting longer)

You may want to look into low doses of SSRI's, such as Paxil and Zoloft.
Taking a low dose of SSRIs will have a marked effect on your ability to control when you orgasm.

For me, I've been using 10mg of paroxetine (the generic form of Paxil) daily, and dosing at 20mg 3-5 hrs prior to game-time. The difference is like night and day, I can usually go for as long as I'd like, total control.

Happy to answer any questions about the subject.

Some light reading on using SSRI's for Prem Ejac:


Current Perspectives on the Treatment of Premature Ejaculation
Effects of Seroxat on premature ejaculation: a clinical trial
Utility of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors in premature ejaculation.
Use of paroxetine on-demand in premature ejaculation
Lifelong Premature ejaculation: definition, serotonergic neurotransmission and drug treatment.
Comparison of the efficacy and safety of 90 mg versus 20 mg fluoxetine in the treatment of premature ejaculation

[kerka Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kerka]

This information is very accurate, i used to have the same problem a few months ago. I read up on a few forums and noticed alot of people trying a technique similar to remek's. What i did was the start and stop method for about 15-20 minutes every 2 days, ejaculating only 2 of the 3 days. Gradually i saw improvement, but it does take some time so I wouldn't expect to hop right in bed with her next week and go 'balls deep' haha. Good luck!

[remek Founder Find all posts View Profile Close remek]

DarkTrick,
Very good information. Thank you for the contribution to the forum, and to hangin'.

Kerka,
good to see you back after such a long abscence. Also, good to see the technique worked for you too.

Just for the record, there are several ways to fix PE. The technique I mentioned above was what initially worked for me. However, other methods may be needed for other people....

Nevertheless, I wonder what happened to hangin and his PE.

[hanging4big Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hanging4big]

Hey Remek,

It's hanging. I've been busy for awhile so i never got the chance to start your premature ejaculation technique, untill about 1 week and half ago. I'm on the part where i masturbate on days- 1,3,5 and 7. I'm on day 5- (Week 1) i watch porn when i do it. I just wanted you to know that i'm really trying this out and giving it a shot. thanks again.

[remek Founder Find all posts View Profile Close remek]

hanging,

You're welcome. Don't be afraid to combine a bunch of techniques. Ultimately this is what will provide the most benefit.

Some other techniques include gradually building your kegel muscles (the pelvic floor muscles). And in due time you'll be able to stop yourself from ejaculating with a kegel alone.

[hanging4big Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hanging4big]

I have heard kegels make it worst?? and when i do kegel i feel like im going to cum quicker.

[remek Founder Find all posts View Profile Close remek]

hanging4big,

That's a very common misconception. Kegeling can make it worse in these scenarios:
1) You overwork your pelvic floor muscles (by Kegeling too much). In this case, the PC, BC, and IC muscles are just too weak to hold of ejaculation.

2) You are perform quick kegels while you are masturbating/having sex. For on reason or another, this has the opposite effect. Instead of stopping premature ejaculation, it causes it. However, this can be eliminated if you pay attention to your penis and relax it if it starts to kegel

3) Kegeling in general makes your penis more sensitive. This is great (more pleasure!), but at the same time it can become too sensitive, especially in the beginning. This is most often a temporary side effect and shouldn't cause any worry. As many multi orgasmic men will tell you, strong pelvic floor muscles are essential. The only way to achieve this is by Kegeling.

When using the Kegel to hold of ejaculation, you have to:
a) Do it immedietlly before the point of no return.
b) Typically be able to hold a kegel for 10 seconds or more. Barbara Keesling says in her book, How to Make Love All Night, that you can just do a lot quick kegels at the point of no return (while stopping all stimulation), but I haven't been able to get this to work. Maybe it will work for you.

Hope this helps!

As I said before, for many men this is a long process. It often takes a lot of practice, patience, and trial and error. But it's definitely worth the end result. Just stick with it and you'll be King in no time.

[hanging4big Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hanging4big]

thanks for the info. hey is alright to practice the technique u gave me while i look at porn or should i just concentrate without looking at it? does it make any difference?