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  • My dick diary

    Hi all.

    An introduction, I'm in my 30s and have dealt with premature ejaculation since my 20s, when I first started having sex. Like many others, at one point, I would kegel while jerking off to come faster. Also, at some point in my teens I stopped using urinals when I went to the toilet cause I developed a habit of squatting on the bowl when I peed. These days I make it a point to do it standing up, but still avoid urinals because I feel anxiety when I use them and that can cause me to tighten up and be unable to pee.

    All these factors point towards a tight pelvic floor. I even went to see a Urologist. The trip was quite discouraging as he told me reverse kegels wouldn't work because doing it would increase pressure on the pelvic floor and be counter productive.

    More recently, I picked up this book--Ejaculation Trainer, by Matt Gorden. He writes that the main secret to developing control over ejaculations is to keep your body in a relaxed state of low arousal, also called the parasympathetic state. I realized that during my sexual encounters I almost immediately allow myself to get highly aroused and into a sympathetic state.

    Following his methods, I've been training myself to stay in a parasympathetic state while I jerk off. But now I'm having trouble keeping an erection. Particularly if my arousal moves into sympathetic levels, and I slow down or stop to let it fall, my dick softens pretty quickly and stubbornly won't get up again. I'm guessing I just need to train my little guy to stay up while in low levels of arousal, and also to get up again if I should let my arousal fall from sympathetic levels. Anyone got similar experience?

    Anyway, I've stopped sex for a bit, to train in this method, and will give it a try again once I can do it comfortably while I'm jerking off. I will post again in the future once I have new developments. I hope I will one day have the dick I want, haha.

  • #2
    Welcome to the Gym!

    I t sounds like you may have a pelvic floor problem. You should also try edging.

    Here are a few links that may be of interest to you.

    What we know so far about PE, its causes and its treatment

    Edging for Premature Ejaculation

    Pelvic Floor Balance

    Confusion with Reverse Kegels
    To totally satisfy a woman sexually is not about having a large penis, it's about being a good lover.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Cavalier View Post
      Welcome to the Gym!

      I t sounds like you may have a pelvic floor problem. You should also try edging.

      Here are a few links that may be of interest to you.

      What we know so far about PE, its causes and its treatment

      Edging for Premature Ejaculation

      Pelvic Floor Balance

      Confusion with Reverse Kegels
      Thanks for the reply. Yes I am currently edging while trying to stay parasympathetic, and keeping my pelvic floor relaxed.

      Comment


      • #4
        content removed
        Dangler
        Senior Administrator
        ☼ Wizard ☼
        White Tiger Award 2015
        Last edited by Dangler; 01-04-2018, 08:31 PM.

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        • #5
          Had sex for the first time in a month. Came very quickly from blowjob. Didn't even feel all that aroused, but felt pressure to cum build up very quickly in my penis, and before I knew it, I was done.

          Pretty disappointing, hope it was rust.

          I've been edging using a fleshlight and find that doing light reverse kegels help. Even though I didn't feel particularly intense kegels during sex, it might have happened without me realizing. I'm going to try doing some stretching from Cephalus's thread: https://www.pegym.com/forums/premature-ejaculation-forum/121276-big-improvements-my-severe-premature-ejaculation.html

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          • #6
            Hi all.

            I've been practicing fairly regularly since my last post.

            I tried reverse kegels while doing hindu squats to hopefully dissolve pelvic floor tension. And it seemed to work to some extent. I masturbate using a fleshlight and watching a bit of camgirl porn, and can keep urge to ejaculate at bay by holding reverse kegels.

            Had sex for the first time in many months yesterday though, and all my work didn't seem to have an effect. Mere light touches from a girl seems to start building tension in my crotch, that leads to ejaculation. Reverse kegels have no effect because it simply happens too quickly and intensely. I didn't even feel any involuntary kegelling occuring, perhaps it's happening at a subtle enough level that I don't notice it among all the other sensations. Hopefully some of this lack of control can be attributed to my having not been with a girl in a long time.

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            • #7
              i can say that it all comes with experience

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              • #8
                Pau Yuen Tong cream will definitely help you if you use it correctly. I recently discovered this and has not seen anything work close to it. I am practicing Reverse Kegels and Hindi squats as well and with the help of PYT and RK, I was able to completely have control In Any position. Applied very tiny amount on Frenulum and to The left and right of it, two hours before and little more added 45 min before. It didnt feel numb at all and it was just little less sensitive on the part that I applied (the key is apply at least 1.5 hour before). I washed it off before sex and it was the best method I have used to last longer without losing sensitivity.
                Started 7/15/2017
                Starting Stats:
                BPEL 14 cm
                TEG 10.4
                MEG 11.4
                BEG 12.4

                Current Stats:
                BPEL 17 CM
                TEG 11.7
                MEG 12.7 CM
                BEG 13.7

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                • #9
                  Had sex again, roughly a week after the last time.

                  I got myself some pau yuen tong and applied it, but it didn't do anything for me. I came pretty quickly from some hand stimulation.

                  I have a feeling physical stimulation isn't the issue for me. I've been doing hindi squats and edging with reverse kegels, but the moment a woman touches my dick, the urge to ejaculate builds up far too quickly for me to do anything about it. Perhaps my nervous system has just been trained to ejaculate extremely quickly when in contact with a woman.

                  The most success I've had so far was from taking an SSRI (Zoloft), which I think I'll have to do again.

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                  • #10
                    I've been doing the exercises from Barbara Keesling's book, kegels everyday.

                    When edging I use kegels, reverse kegels, breathing, and focusing on sensation to control arousal and try to plateau at different levels of arousal.

                    Was with a woman yesterday but still came pretty quickly from dry hand stimulation. Pretty discouraging, will try adding more reverse kegels and stretches into my routine.

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                    • #11
                      Had an interesting edging session. Was able to plateau at a pretty high level of arousal (above 9) by holding a light reverse kegel. However, my erection quality was compromised, the reverse kegel made me softer as well. Anyone experience similar?

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Bobsadcock View Post
                        Had an interesting edging session. Was able to plateau at a pretty high level of arousal (above 9) by holding a light reverse kegel. However, my erection quality was compromised, the reverse kegel made me softer as well. Anyone experience similar?
                        Yeah, I’ve definitely had that happen a lot. And, from what I’ve read on the forum, it’s pretty common. Reverse kegels are good in that they loosen the pelvic floor, but they are also the action that makes an erection go away. When you make urine come out by RK’ing, that also lowers an erection.

                        At the beginning of my training, RK’ing and breathing were my go to techniques to stay away from the PONR. In certain positions (like girl on top), my erection quality was less than 100%, but I could go longer. So, it was a balance, but was worth it to not cum in 30 seconds.

                        Now, I’m trying to do what TheZZMan discribes as keeping the pelvic floor neutral. I do less RK’s and instead let my pelvic floor stay flat (not tighten but also not actively expanded by a RK). It feels more like an advanced technique that I would not have been able to use at the beginning, but now I have more control.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by WillGetBetter View Post
                          Yeah, I’ve definitely had that happen a lot. And, from what I’ve read on the forum, it’s pretty common. Reverse kegels are good in that they loosen the pelvic floor, but they are also the action that makes an erection go away. When you make urine come out by RK’ing, that also lowers an erection.

                          At the beginning of my training, RK’ing and breathing were my go to techniques to stay away from the PONR. In certain positions (like girl on top), my erection quality was less than 100%, but I could go longer. So, it was a balance, but was worth it to not cum in 30 seconds.

                          Now, I’m trying to do what TheZZMan discribes as keeping the pelvic floor neutral. I do less RK’s and instead let my pelvic floor stay flat (not tighten but also not actively expanded by a RK). It feels more like an advanced technique that I would not have been able to use at the beginning, but now I have more control.
                          Yeah I saw that post by ZZMan, and I think it helped me actually get the right level of RK to hold during edging.

                          I had another fun edging session and could keep my arousal level pretty steady around 7, with good EQ this time. Feeling very encouraged by this progress

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                          • #14
                            What is your out of sex kegel /rk routine?

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
                              What is your out of sex kegel /rk routine?
                              Previously I was doing 20 kegel quick squeezes and a few long squeezes daily.

                              But I stopped that and just started minuteman's routine here (https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...asm-guide.html). I'm doing 0.1 routine every other day, and also doing Hindi squats every day for 3 minutes at a time.

                              I also edge for about 20 minutes everyday. The past 2 times have been with porn, and I've been able to plateau my arousal levels using a light RK. I know porn isn't recommended around here, but it makes it more pleasurable, and if I can control my arousal using the RK, I think it should okay?

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