What am I doing wrong guys? Srs thread!

[Kakal]

Update:
These past 2 weeks have not been great and again it's had its ups and downs regarding PreE.

The first session I had within the these 2 weeks was ballooning and that was fine, I feel like I could go forever with my hand.

The next session was the STU and it was an awful session I literally ejaculated within a few minutes, sensitivity and arousal was sky high and it wasn't possible to reduce it no matter what I did, but this session I was extremely tired and unfocused which may have played a factor. 2 minutes is shockingly bad though.

The following session was using the STU again and I hadn't ejaculated in a good few days,but was able to control my arousal fairly well in all positions. That was until I went in to missionary with the STU between the pillows and raised up slightly, my arousal just shot up so fast.
Managed to hold back a few times but after a couple of minutes I couldn't hold back and of course ejaculated. Total session time about 11-12 minutes.

Had sex twice these past 2 weeks, the first time I used the PYT balm before hand, I had applied quite a lot though to the glans and had another reapplication about 1 hour before sex, so my penis was very desensitised and I couldn't even get a decent erection and soft entry was the only way I could penetrante my girlfriend.

We ended up going for more than 20 minutes in many positions but honestly speaking I felt nothing and we just stopped as we'd both had enough at that point.


Had a national holiday here so I visited my girlfriends hometown for a few days and during those days there was no edging or sex and I fell behind with my exercises not completely but I didn't do them all everyday for those 3-4 days due to being very busy and being out all day and most of the evenings.

Had 2 more edging sessions both with the STU, been having partial ejaculations around the 1 minute mark and after that my sensitivity has been reduced significantly. Also have been experimenting a bit more with the cock ring which also seems to help with reducing my sensitivity although results have been mixed with it, so I definitely need to experiment more.

The last session was very strange, I felt the PONR coming and would hold back and repeat but after 1 too many stop and starts, I couldn't hold back so I RKed hard (in missionary) and thought I'd held back but when I was thrusting my sensitivity was reduced and EQ was very poor and I noticed ejaculate inside the STU.
However it was not normal, it was more of a foamy white ejaculate almost more like when a female cums sometimes and you've got that milky stuff on your penis,it looked the same.

So that was strange.

Finally had sex last night with my girlfriend, no external aids, wasn't feeling overly aroused and was doing some RK's to try and relax my PF and reduce arousal, I even penetranted her without a condom for a few thrusts and then once I put the condom on and re-entered her my arousal was sky high, I stopped and just paused took some breaths but after a few thrusts I ejaculated,which ofcourse was very dissapointing.

I want to beat this so bad but when I have sex and this happens it makes me feel like I'm fighting a battle which I'll never be able to win.

Literally don't know what I did wrong, we always do missionary and it's my worst position even with the STU but it's the only position my girlfriend feels anything, so it extremely awkward and I always take the gamble and think I'll be able to control it and hold off but I never can.

[Kakal]

Update:

Hey guys, just an update from the last few weeks.

Last week I went to South Korea for 1 week and staying in a hostel of course I wasn't able to maintain my routine of exercises and edging.

I did do some reverse kegals daily though but unfortunately fell totally out of track with doing my edging stretches, exercises and yoga.

Prior to my trip I did have some good edging sessions especially with death grip, I've noticed that if I death grip for 10-15 mins and then use the STU my control is substantially increased and I can go for much longer in all positions including missionary.

Depending how lubed the STU is also affects my stamina, if its wet enough to enter but not so wet that it's as wet as a slip and slide, the friction and pleasure is increased much more and its much more stimulating.

I also had this partial ejaculation type of thing again arte holding a strong kegal at the PONR, where it feels like I ejaculated but sensitivity is still there(although reduced) and EQ is decreased but still just about hard enough for penetration.

The last session before I went to Korea was crazy, my sensitivity was so, so high when using the STU.
I just couldn't control it no matter what I did, I RKed and went slow but it was in vain as I ejaculated after a measly 3 minutes. Not sure what that was all about, nothing was different from what I'm aware of that day, perhaps my pelvic floor was overly tight this day, but I couldn't say for sure.

Once in Korea I had 1 edging session in the shower, watching porn and it was fairly tough to control again, perhaps the porn or maybe something else. I have found that whenever I used the STU in the shower before I would always ejaculate faster than norm, which is very strange as when I was younger I could never ejaculate in the shower, even when masturbating as hard and fast as possible, I would never be able to ejaculate.

Once I returned from Korea I moved in with my girlfriend and that night we were getting really heated together and I was really looking forward to making some magic with my girlfriend but ofcourse as fate would have it, it wouldn't be going that way.

I blew my load before even putting in in, strangely enough after she pulled me on top of her when we were kissing and just touched my penis from the outside of my underwear a very full ejaculation was blown.

Was so dissapointing, I tried to play it off by saying let's just sleep as I'm so tired, but she knew what had happened and asked me if I had ejaculated which I confirmed I had.

The next night we had sex again but this time I really wanted go be able to fuck her like I've always dreamed of, so I used a desensitising wipe, I got as a free gift when I bought some stuff online.

It worked but my penis was so numb that I couldn't feel anything or enjoy myself, I'm certain these external aids are not the answer even if you use them sparingly (I wiped 70% of the glans ) it's not worth it in my opinion, especially since there's been literally no pleasure whenever I've used something like this, but at that time I just wanted to fuck my girlfriend atleast for a few minutes, so I was willing to sacrifice my pleasure for her.

However it was pretty wasted as I had already gotten her off with some oral and once she orgasms her pleasure basically goes away, so after 10 minutes of sex we stopped.


We had sex again the following day, this time with no external aids and I was feeling pretty good about it, I'd gotten the first time since I returned out of the way, and I fucked her for 10 minutes the day after without ejaculation, so I went in feeling a confident.

Me on top, went slow but the PONR came and I ejaculated after about 20-30 seconds. I tried deep breathing, not holding my breath, relaxing, holding RK's, but nothing helped.

Finally had 1 edging session with the STU today, first time I used it in a couple of weeks.

Sensitivity was so damn high again, even just laying on my back stroking,arousal would climb so fast.
Varied positions and went slow, but after a few thrusts I'd almost be at the PONR no matter the position.

I put on the cock ring to see if that would help, but it didn't.
Ejaculated after 8-9 minutes of very slow thrusting /stroking and keeping my whole body relaxed and light, reverse kegals, nothing worked.

Overall these past few weeks have not been great, but now I'm living with my girlfriend there should be room for a lot more sex now and practice, luckily my girl is pretty understanding and doesn't mind if I cum early but I think that makes it worse because I want to please her even more.

Back on track with exercises, yoga, and stretches.

Let's hope the next few weeks will see some improvement.

[Pegasus]

Have you been to a physio who does male pelvic floor.?

[Bobsadcock]

Hi there, I'm in the same boat as you, Kakal. My pre-e is bad enough that I can ejaculate from a woman touching my penis a bit.

I wonder if our main issue really is all in the pelvic floor though, because when you can cum with a few strokes, how much IK has really happened?

[Kakal]

Have you been to a physio who does male pelvic floor.?

No, I have not, I'm not sure if my PF is the cause or not to be honest with you. It's at the stage now where I'm none the wiser then when I first started.

I've implemented full body stretches everyday for 10 minutes, yoga (child's pose, cat and cow, cobra and finally frog pose), I do my standard strengthing exercises,( hip bridges, knees to chest and laying leg raises everyday for anywhere between 30-100 reps of each) I do reverse kegals thoughout the day, I do daily meditation, I sit in hindi pose for long periods of time throughout the day and I was taking 200mg of 5-htp daily.
I'm literally clutching at straws now.

Honestly speaking I don't feel like I've made much of any progress than from when I started on this journey back in November ast year.

Hi there, I'm in the same boat as you, Kakal. My pre-e is bad enough that I can ejaculate from a woman touching my penis a bit.

I wonder if our main issue really is all in the pelvic floor though, because when you can cum with a few strokes, how much IK has really happened?

Yeah, it's pretty humiliating.
How long have you been dealing with it?

I think a lot of my problem is the fact that I didn't become sexually active until much later on in my life, it's wasn't until I was 25 that I actually found a partner whom I could have sex with regularly, and it was only 1 or 2 years before that when I lost my virginity and apart from that and 1 other girl whom I fooled around with but could never stay hard enough to have sex with, I have no other sexual experience.

[Pegasus]

I suspect there is an underlying physical issue . A physio who does male pelvic floor work would be better able to diagnose it.

[Bobsadcock]

Yeah, it's pretty humiliating.
How long have you been dealing with it?

I think a lot of my problem is the fact that I didn't become sexually active until much later on in my life, it's wasn't until I was 25 that I actually found a partner whom I could have sex with regularly, and it was only 1 or 2 years before that when I lost my virginity and apart from that and 1 other girl whom I fooled around with but could never stay hard enough to have sex with, I have no other sexual experience.

I starting having sex at 20, but my pre-e wasn't so bad at the start. I could have sex for a few minutes.

I'm in my 30s now and it feels like the moment a woman starts touching my penis, I feel the tension build up in there very quickly and uncontrollably and then I cum. I don't necessarily even feel all that aroused mentally.

When I try to figure out why I could last longer when I was young, it occurred to me that I used to take SSRIs when I was younger, as I was diagnosed with depression. My pre-e seemed to get worse after I stopped taking those pills.

However one thing that does suggest to me that my issue could be due to pelvic floor tension is that I have urinary hesitance. Do you have suffer from that as well?

[Kakal]

I suspect there is an underlying physical issue . A physio who does male pelvic floor work would be better able to diagnose it.

Perhaps, I think I may have scoliosis or something else as my mid/lower back sticks out a lot. I went to the doctors when I was younger about it but they didn't seem too fussed about it at the time.

My Grandma always said it was a curvature of the spine but I'm not sure, my spine does stick out a lot but it's also the back itself that sticks out, it's pretty difficult to explain but hopefully you can get a general idea of what I'm talking about.

Seeing a physio may be easier said then done especially since I live in China at the moment.

But yeah I think it could also be a physical issue or atleast a factor of it, I may even have an anterior pelvic tilt or something else, or a combination of various issues.

[Kakal]

I starting having sex at 20, but my pre-e wasn't so bad at the start. I could have sex for a few minutes.

I'm in my 30s now and it feels like the moment a woman starts touching my penis, I feel the tension build up in there very quickly and uncontrollably and then I cum. I don't necessarily even feel all that aroused mentally.

When I try to figure out why I could last longer when I was young, it occurred to me that I used to take SSRIs when I was younger, as I was diagnosed with depression. My pre-e seemed to get worse after I stopped taking those pills.

However one thing that does suggest to me that my issue could be due to pelvic floor tension is that I have urinary hesitance. Do you have suffer from that as well?

In the past I did suffer from urinary hesitance but it's not such an issue now, but I do have a somewhat weak bladder or something like this, as after I urinate I usually always dribble a bit after, even if I shake and milk it by pushing on the perineum.

I've had that for many years, I thought it may be due to tension in the pelvic floor but I've not been doing kegals for a good few months now and have been doing 100% RK's.

So honestly I'm not sure.

You could perhaps try taking 5-HTP or something similar to increase the serotonin in the brain.

[Kakal]

Update:

Hey guys,

These past couple of weeks have been pretty busy for me and unfortunately didn't include much sex or edging however, my pelvic floor has started to feel very relaxed and loose these past couple of weeks.
The difference is like night and day, it took a long time for me to feel the change but its definitely a lot looser now and doesn't feel tight.

I do very, very occasionally have some IK's still but they're easily subdued and controlled.

I had sex a few times these past few weeks (unfortunately she was on her period and pretty stressed about other things, so 3 times is all we managed)

The first time was not good, I came within about 5 seconds of being on top, so that was disappointing but we had sex again 2 days later (in the morning) and she seduced me this time, which never happens but my control was fucking awesome!
I got her off first which may have alleviated some of the pressure, I went on top and managed to have sex for atleast 5 minutes and could have gone longer but she had had enough after that, so I had to force myself to cum.

It felt so awesome, I can't explain it, Just to be able to have sex like a normal person, being able to have decent control and just being able to enjoy it. It was amazing and the orgasm was so powerful I felt like I was transported to a different dimension almost!

Usualy when I prematurely ejaculate the orgasm is not pleasurable whatsoever, there's no feeling but everytime (not often) I've been able to have good control and build it up its been incredible!

The following sex session was after her period (maybe 11 days) and during that time I hadn't edged, masturbated, ballooned or anything like that really but my pelvic floor was still feeling relaxed and loose.

I got her off again this time prior to penetration and went on top again, control was not too bad in the beginning but I ended up cumming after a few minutes which isn't as good as the time before, but is much better than usual.

Feels like I'm starting to make some progress finally again.

I did also have some edging sessions these past couple of weeks (both with the STU and dry death grip) albeit not many at all (maybe 3 or so), and these varied between having ok-ish control to not having good control at all.

I'm starting to wonder how much use the STU and edging actually has (for me personally)I mean before I've had 30 min plus edging sessions, death gripped, dry, lubed, STU, with porn /without porn etc, and I'd still cum extremely fast during actual sex, but these past few weeks (which haven't included much edging or masturbation) I was able to have better control..

Overall my endurance with edging has seemed to of decreased but with sex has increased, so that's strange.

I guess it's something I need to experiment a bit more with over the next few months.

Me and my girlfriend have just moved in together as well, so theoretically there should be more opportunities for sex, so let's see!

My routine is still the same as before but I recently added hanging knee raises for 10 reps x 3 sets (3 times a week), which may have been the reason for this better control these past couple of weeks.

Have also incorporated pigeon pose which I feels gives me a very nice stretch a long my glutes and hamstrings!


I've been with my girlfriend for more than 1 year now and I'm still dealing with PreE after tackling the issue about 10-11 months ago, progress has been varied, lots of ups and downs and often I felt like everytime I make 1 step forward towards beating this, I would ultimately end up taking 3 steps back.

However I'm feeling good about beating this now and am still as motivated as I was back when I first set out on this journey.


Thanks for reading.