What am I doing wrong guys? Srs thread!

[Kakal]

03/06/18
After meditating I began a very lubed up ballooning /death grip edging session.

I probably should have pee'd before I begun the session though as I think the extra pressure made me ejaculate a lot faster than normal, although I'm not exactly sure how this affects it as previously I've had sex whilst really needing to pee and lasted a very long time.

Begun by ballooning and edging together and arousal was relatively low to begin with, although when I started to check myself out and watch myself in the mirror I could feel myself getting turned on (is that weird?), especially when I stood up I could feel my arousal increase a lot and my EQ go from about a 7 to 9 or 10 and at that stage my arousal and sensitivity was also very high.

After pre Cumming I decided to rub it in and use it as lube although I have heard previously that you shouldn't do that as many peoples level of arousal increases a lot faster and they end up ejaculating much sooner, they say you should just wipe it away.

I decided to go back to laying down and slowing down but it was so difficult to hold off as I was feeling very turned on and when you're at that high level of arousal and you want to ejaculate so bad, stopping yourself from doing it can be pretty tough at times, but after I always wish I did.

Anyway, I ended up ejaculating after a measly 6 minutes which is extremely disappointing.

It's pretty annoying, like I know so many techniques/know what I should and shouldn't do as well as ways of controlling arousal /decreasing arousal etc but it's like as soon as I'm in the moment I completely forget it all and my mind is blank.

[Kakal]

04/06/18
Had a very good session today, begun with 10 minutes dry constant plateau edging and after 10 minutes I added lube for another 10 minutes which again was absolutely fine, I decided to try and risk using the fleshlight again for another 10 minutes (thrusting and various positions and it was pretty much fine although I did have to slow down and back off a few times as I got dangerously closer to the PONR.

Strange enough as soon as I hit the the 30 minute mark all of a sudden I hit the PONR and i knew there was no going back, but in a final survival attempt I kegaled extremely hard, squeezed my golden point and my shaft and surprisingly held back.

Can confirm it wasn't a retrograde either, so was pretty pleased about that as I managed to get it back to a full erection after power pumping the STU for a bit.

Previously I was of the mindset that plateau edging was getting just before the PONR as fast as possible and staying there for as long a possible, but realised that wasn't the case after coming across the edging forum post.

[Kakal]

07/06/18
Dry edging 30 minutes, 5 minutes of which was girlfriend kissing me and giving me manual stimulation.

As soon as she started to kiss my neck and I started to get in to it, i could feel my arousal level increase rapidly and the PONR getting closer much faster where a before it was almost no feeling, my arousal was probably at around a 4 or 5 maxium before.

Anyway, the stimulation from her was pretty short lived and I went back to doing it myself and my arousal went back down to a 4 or 5 again for the remaining duration.

[Kakal]

09/06/18
It always seems to be that once in a while I'll have a good session (like my 2nd to last session) and then the next session/s will be a dog awful session which makes me question my progress.

Today was no different.

I begun dry edging in various positions but this time I closed my eyes and really imagined making love to my girlfriend, was talking dirty out loud and really using my imagination.

After about 5 minutes I decided to try the STU as the last time with it was pretty successful that was my first mistake as I could already tell my arousal was fairly high and I was feeling kind of 'horny'.

Ofcourse going in to the STU with the mindset that I'm probably not going to last long and with a fairly high level of arousal was a recipe for disaster and I blew my load within a few pumps.

I definitely need to work on being more aware of my arousal and calming myself down /going slower, think I've still got this this 'rushing' mindset still lodged on the back of my mind and its pretty hard to discard it.

I'm still not sure how much I've really progressed since beginning this journey about 6 months ago as I'm still not able to have sex with my girlfriend and I will probably need to wait another few months before I can have sex with her; maybe that's a blessing in disguise though as it allows me to fully work on myself and not feel rushed? Not sure really.

[Kakal]

10/06/18

Had a pretty good session today,which always seems to be the case after 'leg day' at the gym.

Begun with dry edging and added lube after about 5 minutes, I could feel my sensitivity was kind of high today and I didn't think today would be a good session, but I stayed positive and optimistic and kept reinforcing the idea of just relaxing and stop thinking negative thoughts.

After gaining my control and getting the sensitivity and arousal under control, which was about 15 minutes in to the session in various positions, whilst varying between thrusting, rocking my hips and stroking, I decided to incorporate the STU hesitantly (as I'm always nervous about using it now as sometimes It's fine other times I blow within minutes or seconds)

Lubed it up nice and well ( it was also kind of wet still from washing it yesterday) and entered.

I noticed my EQ increased from about a 6 or 7 up to an 8 or 9 but I was able to control my arousal, at times I had to slow down of course and do deep breathing really focusing and imagining breathing in to my pelvic floor and that helped, as well as RK's every now and again.

I kept telling myself, I'm fine, relax, and was being conscious of my muscles even when trying to relax them I would sometimes notice that I was still tensing them and fixed that.

After about 10 minutes and having to stop just once or twice as I got close to the PONR I stopped as I was feeling very aroused and knew after about 30 minutes I was at my limit.

I did a little bit of ballooning and stopped then all of a sudden I felt the PONR and it took me by surprise as I had just finished and thought to myself, "ok enough" .

I kegaled extremely hard and squeezed the base of my shaft and held it for about 15 seconds, I let up once and a little bit of ejaculate was released but no orgasm and I was able to get a usable erection back after hard thrusting the STU, so that was pretty good, I clarified that I still had feeling and hadn't had a retrograde or anything and stopped the session.

Overall pretty chuffed.

[Kakal]

11/06/18
Will start trying to edge daily from now on, no more excuses.

I want to beat this damn thing and I've been feeling defeated at times or felt like I'm going backwards rather than forwards.

Today session was another fairly decent session, not quite a good as the last few good ones but definitely seeing progress now, guess in finally doing something right.

Begun with ballooning as I haven't done that in a good few weeks, and strangely enough I didn't feel that tingling feeling anymore, even when doing the ok grip with 2 fingers and really stimulating the head it didn't cause me crazy tightness in my PF.

Not sure if it's due to the heavy leg session at the gym yesterday or all the RKs I've been doing these past few months, combined with PF stretches, tennis ball massage etc, but I'm pretty happy about that, although I do need to try a few more time to see if it was just a 1 off.

Decided to try the STU again after 15 minutes of ballooning and edging combined, as my arousal was low and my PF was feeling pretty relaxed I was feeling fairly confident.

First 5 or so minutes was fine in the STU but then I had a partial ejaculation (maybe pre cum) which sometimes I have sometimes I don't but usually it brings me a lot closer to the PONR after and I cannot get my arousal down after or It will increase fast again.

Did some deep breathing, varied positions which helped for a few minutes but after that every few thrusts would just bring me back back to about a 9 arousal, even when stopping completely, holding a RK and deep breathing after a few thrusts I was back at that high level again.

I didn't want to ejaculate this session but ended up not being able to hold back.

So I will try to not ejaculate for the next 2 or 3 sessions.

Overall I'm fairly pleased with progress these last few days, starting to feel like I'm getting back in the right direction after a lot of struggles!

[Kakal]

12/06/18
Begun dry solo edging today whilst my girlfriend was taking a shower, and after her shower we did some partnered edging, mostly her kissing my neck and moaning and making sex noises in my ear and a few minutes of her manually stimulating me with her hand.

Felt very in control but honestly I couldn't really get that in to it, my EQ was probably only a 5 or 6/10 the whole time and I wasn't really feeling like I was having sex, even with the lights dimmed and my girlfriend beside me.

Finished after 30 minutes, no ejaculation.


Semi satisfied with this session but need to try and get my imagination going a bit more and really picture I'm having sex.

[Kakal]

13/06/18

Today my PF has felt kind of tense and not fully relaxed, I've been having a few IK's throughout the day as well,not too sure what's going on there but hoping it's not a sign of things to come.

I'm still doing RK's throughout the day although today I didn't do a great deal as it just slipped my mind and I had a busy day.

Managed to edge again today, glad I'm making time /effort to do it everyday now even when I'm feeling exhausted and it's the last thing I want to do.

Today's session was not great, in fact it's a session I'd rather forget honestly speaking...
I decided to go straight on to the STU today, as the last session or 2 wasn't too bad and I was starting to feel like I was making progress; as before 3 minutes seemed to be the standard duration for the STU (except the first time which was 18) and the last few times except for one I was going for 10 or so minutes.

Today was different, lubed up and went straight inside EQ as pretty low to begin with maybe a 5/10 but it soon increased to about 7 (still not great) but the sensitivity was crazy high today especially on my head, maybe the death grip hand stimulation prior desensitises me before usually but today it was crazy high sensitivity.

Changed positions, thrusting and stroking but could just feel my arousal increasing drastically, really I should have pulled out and stopped and just gone on to hand but I wanted to try and get control of it so I continued, reverse kegals, deep breathing etc but eventually it was all for naught and I ejaculated probably after about 3-5 minutes of stimulation.

Very disappointed. Guess I'll work on de sensitising my head again with ballooning.

Maybe I'm trying to rush too much,it's frustrating though. Guess some days are just better than others.

[ZeNigmar]

Dude. Dont fall into the wrong mindset. You are working on it. You have a girlfriend. Don't get frustrated, you have more than many already! Dissapointment and frustration are both keywords that are your subjective observation. I know sex is a really subjective topic, but the more objective you get the easier it is to focus on your problems rather than get frustrated by them.

You write a lot about the tightness of your PV. its not only about that. Your whole body is a huge processor. Sometimes its not only down there.

Consider your diet. If your heart races often and you have trouble falling asleep along with absurd libido it could be histamine levels (i think that is my problem)

tryptophan.jpg

Looking at this chain, one of the most important chains for ejaculation because it is about serotonin/dopamin balance - is there anything your body falls short? Your training shouldnt be aborted but also take other things into consideration that could influence your sensivity rather than just gripping your dick to death.

[Kakal]

14/06/18
Today I was really on top of my RK's, did a lot throughout the day, mostly long holds as and when I could remember to do them.

I noticed these past few day that's I'm always kegaling at the end of a peeing, last few days I've been kegaling hard. I'm trying to consciously stop it and just push the prostate area to get the pee out but when I put my dick away I always kegal and can't seem to stop it.

This past week or 2 my knees have been really bad, previously it was just my left knee which I think I injured squatting one time one time and then I took a break from weighted squats for a few weeks and went back to the UK in that time as well, but it never got better and I'm pretty sure the hindu squats have made it worse. Now it's both knees though and they're really hurting like all the time, they both feel super weak and physically hurt when I bend them, sit cross legged or anything as such.

So that's pretty rough going, even doing pelvic thrusts hurts them, basically any stress on the joints; so I'm not doing hindu squats for now and can't even sit in that position, so I'm pretty stumped in regards to that.

My girlfriend is talking about acupuncture, so we'll see.

Anyway today's edging session/ballooning was pretty good, although my EQ is pretty poor these days, can't seem to get above a 6/10 with hand and with STU last few days has probably only just barely passed for 7 (or 8) /10.

Pelvic floor felt pretty relaxed although my head sensitivity was still fairly high today, but after 15 minutes of lubed edging and ballooning combined I gave the STU a go, as its the only thing which can get me to a decent erection state (plus it's probably better practice)

STU was fine today, kept calm and relaxed, telling myself I'm in control and relaxing my whole body and it was really good.

At one stage I was power fucking the STU, literally pounding it like I was going for gold in the Olympics and it was fine, I stopped after a few minutes and changed position to standing and thrusting and suddenly I was at the PONR, which took me by surprise and I couldn't hold back and ultimately ended in ejaculation after a total time of 27 minutes, 12 of which were the STU.

I need to control myself better at certain times, it was senseless and not necessary and that's probably the main factor in me ejaculating this session, but still overall fairly pleased with the today's performance