What am I doing wrong guys? Srs thread!

[Kakal]

20/06/18
Today I got in an edging session which was working on stamina mostly with the STU.

Decided to heat the STU up with a little USB device which you just plug in and insert and it will heat the STU up to body temperature.

Whilst it was heating up I worked on just stimulating myself dry for about about 10 minutes, I've definitely noticed that if I edge a bit before hand I seem to last longer once I enter the STU vs going straight in to the STU,not sure if that would transition in to sex or not though.

Lasted somewhere between 12-15 minutes in the STU, still not great.

I've noticed that when I go slow it sometimes increases my arousal more so than when I'm going faster, it's pretty strange actually, especially when I go fast and then slow.
Need to work on this a bit more to see exactly how it's affected.

Ended up ejaculating in kneeling doggy style whilst thrusting, which was a little weird as be for that I'd been thrusting on side and missionary which are generally the positions I finish the quickest in and I had been thrusting doggy (standing) for about 5 minutes prior to them.

But, I just couldn't hold back.my self control is pretty bad really, I need to really work on that.
Also on plateau edging I'm not really sure I'm doing it right either, I need to read up on it again, just to check a few things.

I feel like I am making progress though, slowly but surely, last few sessions have been not too bad.

EQ still not great though, probably stayed only around a 7/10 for the while session today, probably need to mentally try and get in to it more rather than just the physical side of things.

[ZeNigmar]

Kakal, i really advice you, that before sex, you speak to your gf about your fear. At the moment your mental anxiety is giving you a bad time even before sex. Remember, it is not only mechanics, it is also two people being vulnerable. When you do have sex and release it to early don't panic. If it helps drink a few glasses of wine with her to celebrate this night, it will calm you and help you relax. And masturbate before, but don't edge! You don't want bad vibes before sex, so don't think about your masturbation performance. This all will contribute to you having a great night, trust me. It is not only about your penis being inside of her, you have to enjoy the process, otherwise you land in a vicious cycle. I know how hard it is to let go of your expectations, because i sometimes struggle myself, but going the other way doesnt contribute to your improvements.

Have fun training and soon with your lovely gf!

[Kakal]

You're right, she already knows about it, I've been open with her about everything pretty much; which is nice as it negates a lot of the stress and anxiety, but of course there will always be some there especially since I'm thinking about having sex with her all the time and thinking about how I want to be deep inside them sweet wet walls.



Update : last few days have been a write off, I've not managed to edge since my last update purely due to not time managing better and getting side tracked and then it being too late and needing to sleep.

I'm also not really a massive masturbator type of guy, I've never been one of these guys who masturbated everyday or multiple times a day for the last couple of years I'd often go weeks without doing it sometimes months and it never bothered me really, I never thought about it too much and I would just have wet dreams every now and again, although sometimes more frequent than others.

I actually thought I was asexual for a few years due to having no sexual desire for either gender or having any motivation to go out and make effort to even get laid.

That still plays a role in my determination to edge daily, I often feel like it's a chore honestly speaking, like I'm setting a time by which I need to edge by and even when I really am not in the mood I'll force myself to do it(although obviously that's not been the case this week).

It's always alright once I'm in to it and at the end of the session and I'm feeling good but actually getting there that's the effort requiring part most of the times.

[Kakal]

23/06/18
Today I had a day off and I begun the day with a morning meditation session and went to the gym in the afternoon. I'm still not training legs though as my knees are still badly aching and feeling weak.

It doesn't help that I have to sit cross legged throughout the day at work for long periods of time and crawling around on the floor, as I'm an English teacher for babies from 6 months upwards to about 6 years old.

Anyway, today's edging session was a bit of a disappointment really.
I begun with lubed ballooning and really working on the head, I've noticed the corona on the right side is pretty sensitive, perhaps even more so than the other trigger spots on the head, although I find it difficult to isolate these spots to really see how they react when I stimulate them.

For example if I just rub my finger in circles over my frenulum then there is absolutely no reaction however if I wrap my finger tightly around the whole head and thrust just a few cm back and forth it's rather stimulating and arousing, same as when I do the ok grip and kind of masturbate just the head, although the former is definitely the more stimulating (laying on side and thrusting head in to palm with lube).

But I've not really found a position in which you can easily balloon the corona by itself or the frenulum, the top and front of the head is easily accessed but the back and sides not so much.

After about 13 minutes of ballooning I decided to try the STU as the last few times have been controllable, however now that I think about it, the last time I did ballooning and used the STU in the same session I ejaculated fast as well.

Well once I entered the STU it was fine for the first minute, laying on side thrusting, then I changed to kneeling doggy which is the same position I ejaculated in last time I used the STU.

After a few deep pumps I suddenly hit the PONR, it wasn't gradual at all and I kegaled hard but my attempt ended in vain and I came after just 1 minute in the STU.

In hindsight I should have gone a lot slower or edged a bit with my hand before I used the STU, rather than doing highly stimulating ballooning followed by directly deep thrusting in to the STU.

Of course this week I fell behind with my edging but I always kept up my pelvic floor exercises and stretches as well a my meditation.

[ZeNigmar]

Try using a towel or some similar cloth to create friction rather than your fingertip. The fingertips create more pressure than friction, which triggers your glans not as much. Also you dont have to be fully erect to do this. I definitely am able to create more IKs with a towel

Maybe this will give you a better understanding about your triggers, good luck!

[Kakal]

Alright, I'll give it a go! You just roll it up and basically rub it back and forth on different spots?

[ZeNigmar]

Alright, I'll give it a go! You just roll it up and basically rub it back and forth on different spots?

Okay, i try to explain this as good as possible. So when you are on your bed or whatever you use to have your masturating/edging/sex-sessions sit slightly upright like you would be lying in a deck chair. You should have good view on your glans. So you use one hand to completely retract the foreskin and hold it down with your thumb being on the corona on the backside of the glans pushing your glans even more out you foreskin while the rest of your fingers are wrapped around your shaft with the index and middle finger under the frenulum. This should give your flaccid/erect glans a good stable position to create both pressure and friction.

In the other hand you wrap your thumb with the cloth so the fingertip of your thumb is basically the surface that creates the friction.

Now you place your surface-thumb on the backside of the glans between the hole of the urethra and the corona and start upward-downward motion on the glans. If it doesn't give you any feeling go into half erect. Then you should definitely feel a strong sensation, maybe it also gives you involuntary kegels aswell, depending on the state of your penis. After that i would experiment and see what else creates strong sensations on your glans and other areas between the glans and the ending of the frenulum continuing into the shaft.

If you are edging and have a erect penis with good EQ try the following: Lube up your penis and then hold back the foreskin. After that you place the palm of your hand on the backside of your glans and start doing fast motions on the palm of your hand up and downwards. You should feel an intense feeling in your glans which is kind of isolated in the glans.

These are my methods so far not mentioning the normal ballooning methods. i hope this brings you further! Good luck!

[Kakal]

Thanks for the very informative post, I'll have to give it a go later and see how I get on. Will update later on!

In other news, I realised today that this whole time instead of doing hindi squats I was doing hindu squats which are in fact completely different to Hindi squats, so I probably wrecked my knees for nothing.

I may try doing 'Hindi' squats tonight to see how it is although my knees still aren't fully recovered from whatever it was that screwed them up all that time ago.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...ber-input.html

May try incorporating them gradually and doing some physio on my knees.

[Kakal]

24/06/18
Today should have been 'leg(and shoulder) day' at the gym but I'm still taking a break from training legs due to my knees still not feeling great although they do seem to be improving slightly, hopefully next week I can start to incorporate some leg work back in to my routine.

In today's edging session I tried doing some of towel ballooning/rubbing (whatever you want to call it) and my experience with it was a little strange, It felt quite uncomfortable but didn't cause me any IK's, the corona still seems to be more of a trigger spot for me than the Frenulum especially the underside of the corona on both sides.

I tried various areas of the glans to see how the feeling was but overall it just felt kind of awkward and uncomfortable, I tried it with a thin sarong as well as my girlfriends silk night gown (shhh, don't tell her) and overall it did cause a slight tight feeling but not sure if that was due to the discomfort or from the rubbing.

Before I had begun this session I was just sitting on my laptop bored watching porn, now I never watch porn and I never masturbate to it anymore, haven't done so in at least 3 or 4 years, not that I can remember at least.

Anyway watching porn prior to ballooning and then looking at nude photos of my girlfriend whilst edging, was probably not a smart idea, although I have read previously in the arousal control post by byggd (https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-response.html) that this is a form of arousal control, so perhaps it's not a bad idea afterall, but combined with the porn and my PF already feeling slightly tight today I think it wasn't a smart idea.

After doing the towel rubbing for about 10-15 minutes, I lubed up and started stimulating myself, I could tell right away that my sensitivity was crazy high right then and there and my arousal sky rocketed.

I continued ballooning a bit and tried stimulating just the back of the glands with the palm of my hand and boy did that set me off, my PF immediately tightened up and the IK's were strong, they were more like IK holds actually.

My glans was now extremely sensitive and even ballooning with the thumb on the front caused my arousal to be at about an 8.5 or 9.

Did some deep breathing and worked on edging a bit rather than stimulating the head which did bring me down a bit and I was able to balloon a bit more but the arousal was difficult to control at this time as the sensitivity just felt sky high.

I had to pause and go slow a few times and when I tried ballooning again it gave me another strong IK although only this time my arousal was at a level in which I couldn't control it or bring it back down which caused me to ejaculate.

- total session time = 25 minutes.

Interesting session. Not sure what to think.
I'm thinking I will work on ballooning mostly this week and especially stimulating the glans, to see if I can get better control on it again.

I think part of the reason for the extra sensitivity was squeezing the head quite tight, which was making it engorged whilst doing the towel rub and thinking about the porn videos of the girls getting some good loving!

Feel like there's a few things I need to start working on again, as I'm starting to fall back in to bad habits
1) ejaculation control - not ejaculating every session/ allowing myself to ejaculate every 1 in 3 sessions.
2) remind myself of the methods and techniques on this forum - when I first begun I did a lot of research, weeks and weeks of reading, browsing the forums plus different websites and had a fountain of knowledge but I feel like I've forgot a lot of the stuff and need to remind myself on a lot of things.
3) Re-read how to make love all night by Barbara Keesling and the multi orgasmic man by Mantak Chia, as well as find some new books, any recommendations?
4)not getting so worked up with everything, need to learn to just chill out a bit and relax, funnily enough in life I'm a very easy going guy but with this pre e, it really gets in to my head at times.
5) ???

[ZeNigmar]

Hey, Kakal. This is quite interesting to me, thanks for trying out my method. The Cloth thing is to build up physical tolerance. I only sometimes experience IKs so far doing that. To me, it is supposed to feel uncomortable, you want to pinch the nerves, so they adapt to the touch. Don't rub your glans neither the frenulum sore, but activate every nerv, that sits there.

Really interesting is what you tell you experienced with the palm of your hand.
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Take a look at this picture and keep in mind i am talking about sex without a condom - i actually dont even know how long i last with one. When you enter the vagina you go along the G-Spot-area, which is the rough surface placed by the shaft up until to the cervix depending on the size of your dick. When you enter the vagina, the first thing that happens is that the foreskin retracts itself and your glans wanders along all this rough skinlike area both on the backside of the glans aswell as the frenulum plus your glans getting pulled down by your frenulum if you deepthrust. What you experience are more IK-holds. Imagine feeling this over and over when thrusting by having sex. I can only guess at the moment but you know where i am going!

In my opinion this could be a huge huge contributor to releasing the emission phase up until ejaculation combined with the other factors that are overall discussed in this forum. I am not sure if my method will actually help you build that tolerance, but i am going to try it out for sure. You also red about this chinese balm discussed in my thread, which basically numbs part of your glans. i would be happy if you keep experimenting with this. Maybe take a step back and try to gradually build up arousal without porn and do the thing with the cloth not combined with masturbating, at best a few hours before if you find the time for it because it is more of an approach to get this problem solved longterm rather than being an on-demand solution. But i am only experimenting atm too.

PS: work with your mental problems, if you actually have some. Try Stoic principles to sort yourself out. There is some really eye-opening stuff there concerning your own emotions. It is important that you can control the chaos in your brain in order for it to work the way you want. Acknowledge that all emotions come from within you, you are often able to control them, recognize there is life after potential failure. Think about what emotions you feel and then try to discard them and focus on the things you can potentially control at be productive with. This stuff helps me going through my breakup atm. Just as a sidenote if you feel lost in your negative emotions but i guess there are more methods and people are coping differently so whatever helps you!


Thank you for experimenting with this and good luck!