What am I doing wrong guys? Srs thread!

[Kakal Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kakal]

Hey guys, just a bit of background for you.

I'm 25 and have been single all my life, I never really care about chasing girls like many of my friends did, and never cared much for going out to parties and things like this, so I never met any girls.

At 21 I went backpacking and lost my virginity to a prostitute in Asia in which I came within about 1 minute.

After that I traveled and met another girl, who you could say was the first girl I ever did anything sexual with in my life except for the one off 1 minute missionary style sex prior.

With this girl I really struggled to get hard, I had no idea how to have sex and even when we tried I would never be hard enough to enter her, and the one time I did after spending 4 or 5 nights together, I came instantly and it was so late at night that we were both half asleep.
I think I was just so nervous and so scared it ejaculating fast that I couldn't even maintain an erection for penetration although I could get hard for oral and using hands etc.

Either way it was still a very good experience and although we didn't have sex really, I gained some sexual experience in oral sex, playing and just becoming more familiar with the female body.

Anyway after that I traveled for another few years and met many girls but never did anything sexual, although I did go on several dates and kissed one or two other girls, nothing sexual happened.

Fast forward to now, I'm living in China and met a girl out here who has been my girlfriend since mid November and premature ejaculation is a real problem.

The first night we stayed together we couldn't have sex as she had to see the gyno the following morning for a routine check and was forbidden to have sex, but we still played with each other and touched, fingered etc and I ended up ejaculating without even having sex, I think she literally only played with it a little bit and I busted.

This happened on a few separate occasions but I managed to hide it several times from her, but after a few weeks this was no longer a problem.

However sex was the new issue and again in the beginning I couldn't get hard enough to have sex with her and when I did I remember just having absolutely no feeling what so ever, my penis literally felt numb.

I knew it was just due to nerves and bought some viagra from the pharmacy which allowed us to have sex, I used it a few times and then bought some natural supplements as I didn't want to rely on viagra.

Anyway, after several weeks and getting more confident with the whole concept I no longer needed viagra and now I could ejaculate although way too fast than I would have liked.

Honestly speaking I can't remember exactly how long I lasted the first time I entered her with full feeling, but I'm pretty sure it was over almost instantly.

We started having sex more and more often and getting erect was no longer an issue, the new and still ongoing issue is the duration of which we can have sex before I ejaculate.

I began researching a lot on PremE around December time I suppose and I did a lot of research.

I began edging, ballooning, doing kegals (before I knew about reverse kegals) and also read several books on becoming multi orgasmic and lasting longer and I incorporated these techniques in to my routine and the edging became very good.

I was able to control my arousal levels, incorporate some taoist methods such as pushing the golden point, bringing sexual energy up through the spine etc and it was all going well.

I built myself up to 30 minutes with my hand using lube and that was in varying positions, thrusting and using lube, however sex was still hit and miss.

At times I would cum within seconds or minutes and on the very rare occasion I would last 5-10 minutes but I can count how many times that has happened on 1 hand.

I incorporated reverse kegals about 3 months ago and still having issues.

I decided about 2 months ago to buy a STU which the first time I used I lasted about 20 minutes with but could have gone longer.

After that my time got worse and worse and everything which was going well started to feel like I was going backwards.

I could no longer edge for 30 minutes with my hand, with the STU my time became less and less and would occasionally ejaculate within a few minutes.

Annoyingly I've also not been able to have sex with my girlfriend for the past 6 weeks or so as she wanted to restore the flora in her vagina as she was having some issues with it and now she has another issue with it so we still haven't had sex, so I'm out of practice.

I took a break fro kegals as I felt they may have been making things worse as I had read that this is the case sometimes and as I had started to incorporate a lot more kegals in to my routine I figured this may have also been an issue.

Also doing hindu squats and have been back at the gym for about 4 months doing wright training, including squats.

Sorry for the long post guys, I've been really racking my brains about what's going on and what to do.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

Will post my PremE diary later on here as have been recording the data from that for the last few months.


Thankyou so much.

TL: DR
*extreme premature ejaculation from being extremely un sexually active and bad masturbation habits.
*ejaculated multiple times from just touching and before even 'putting it in'
*usually last about 1 minute or even just a few thrusts at times.
*occasionally I can go for a few minutes and once or twice I managed around 5-10 minutes.
*have been doing kegals(currently taking a break from them ) , RK's, hindu squats and recently incorporated tennis ball massage, cobra pose and child pose stretches as well as dry death grip edging, ballooning and using STU.

[Kakal Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kakal]

I even ejaculated on our first date from holding her hand...

[Kakal Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kakal]

Prior experience (from Nov/December time ) - edging multiple times/with hand) up to 30 minutes although sex can be hit and miss, at times ejaculation within several minutes, other times within seconds, occasionally 5-10+ minutes. Depends on variable factors.

3/3/18 = 29 mins edging, reached ponr multiple times but held back and continued. EQ dropped to about a 6-7 after 15-20 mins. At 29 mins reached PONR and couldn't hold back. Squeezed head and golden point (forgot to kegal). No ejaculation although same feeling. Possible retrograde. EQ dropped to 3-4 after and sensitivity was low, had to finish practice. Somewhat disappointed.

4/3/18= 30 minutes ballooning, concentrating on breathing and trying anal breathing techniques. Frenulum causes tight feeling in pelvic floor, tried RK to release pressure, helped somewhat. 5 mins edging after completing ballooning. Had to stop as felt PONR too strongly and knew anymore stimulation would cause ejaculation. Finished session without ejaculation. EQ very strong.

5/03/18 = had sex at night, over within 10 seconds. She on top couldn't stop myself ejaculating - massive failure

6/03/18 = had sex at lunch, lasted about 3-5 minutes inside, me on top the whole time. - slightly disappointed.
Had sex again at night, didn't cum after 10 minutes and we stopped as she was satisfied. - very happy.

8/03/18 = edging with warmed up STU, lasted about 17 minutes, average stroke count 884 ( estimate). Varying positions. On top, on knees (thrusting), on side (thrusting), standing (thrusting), ejaculated in missionary position ( could have potentially gone longer).
Overall reached the PONR a couple of times but held back. Had a partial ejaculation around the 10 minute mark but EQ was still OK and sensitivity. Although overall EQ wasn't great. 6/10 (went slightly soft a few times)

10/3/18
Edging with cold STU = MASSIVE FAIL . Came within 1 minute. Had read erotic story before hand, unable to hold back. IK caused ejaculation. Highly disappointed.
(PE still a problem).
Had sex with girlfriend at 10:30 pm, lasted about 3-5 minutes, me on top the whole time, wasn't able to kegal or stop myself ejaculating in time. Need to work on that.

12/03/18
Edging with cold STU, was horny from reading erotic literature, only lasted 3 minutes.
Failure. Need to be more aware of arousal level as well as practicing methods to prevent ejaculation.

30 minutes after attempt 1, showered and heated up STU, went for 28 minutes, only ejaculated at end due to power pumping it(my mistake) . Didn't want to ejaculate, but couldn't hold it off, attempted to push golden point and kegal but didn't work.
Reached ponr several times but stopped before ejaculation and managed to carry on. Next 3 sessions I must try to not ejaculate and not reach the PONR if possible.


17/03/18
Edging with cold STU, wasn't feeling overly aroused but the pleasure was high, very difficult to control arousal level and sensitivity was strong.
Went slowly and stopped when I felt overly aroused but still only managed to last about 3 minutes( maybe only 10-20 deep thrusts and 20-30 shallow thrusts )

Hadn't ejaculated or had sex in 5 days (sex 7 days) or edged /used STU due to girlfriend staying around and being on period, this may have had an effect.

Tried pulling testes down to stop ejaculation but was too slow

Failed session. Disappointed.

18/03/18
Had sex with girlfriend - came within a couple of minutes. Me on top, didn't feel too aroused but sensitivity was high, took a breather and told her slowly but ejaculation process had begun and I was unable to hold back. May have been an IK that caused it, not sure as I didn't feel my arousal was at the PONR was the first time I'd had sex with her in over 1 week though as previously was on period.

19/03/18
Had sex at 1pm, came within a couple of minutes annoyingly although sensitivity and arousal wasn't too high, the PONR seemed to have come from no where.
Tried holding a light RK whilst thrusting but didn't seem to do too much. (PC muscles may be tired from kegals 2 nights ago). Need to work on arousal control and delaying ejaculation as well as maybe trying different positions in the beginning instead of me on top.

23/03/18
Edging with warmed up STU, lasted 9 minutes, had a partial ejaculation after a few minutes, but no strong contractions after kegaling and EQ remained unchanged.

Almost reached PONR a few times and was able to hold back by slowing down / stopping/ kegaling. Still not sure what is better when approaching PONR. I think RK when not overly aroused and normal kegal when approaching the PONR.

unfortunately after 9 minutes I ejaculated which es disappointing as I had been going relatively slow /normal paced and taking breaks, so 9 minutes isn't great.
Held a strong kegal and pushed golden point but could feel testes contracting and as soon as I released the kegal / golden point a full ejaculation happened although some feeling still remained and I think i could have kept on going for another few minutes at least, I decide to stop as the STU was overly full.

24/03/18
Edging with cold STU, started with hand for 3 minutes then moved on to STU, had a partial ejaculation around 5-7 minutes but no contractions just fluid so sensitivity and EQ remained unchanged. After 13 minutes in varying positions ponr was reached and I held a strong kegal whilst pushing on golden point but I think it was too late and the contractions had begun and I was unable to hold it off.

Tried RK and normal kegal at different stages to see if/how it affected my arousal, still unsure. Need more research.

Arousal was high again today, although I tried deep breathing and shallow thrusts /slowing down and even stopping when necessary, which I think did help reduce level of arousal.

More practice still required as well as more ballooning instead of just edging as head sensitivity is still high.

31/03/18
Begun ballooning with the intention to combine ballooning /edging in to 1 session (whilst STU was heating up) ended up ejaculating after only 5 minutes of head stimulation( was more like head masturbation). Sensitivity was high and the stimulation caused my PC muscles to be very tight /strange and tingling sensation (mainly due to frenulum stimulation I suspect).

Tried to hold a strong kegal to prevent ejaculation but was unsuccessful.

Thought I would have a dry orgasm as have not ejaculated from just head stimulation for many years.

May be due to the fact that I've not had sex recently or masturbated /edged in a week as girlfriend is trying to restore the probiotics of her vagina.

Later that evening, edged again with STU, lasted 15 minutes in varios positions but ejaculated laying on side imagining I was making love with girlfriend (thrusting).

Back in home country
06/04/18
Edging with stroker, ejaculated within less than a minute...

9/04/18
Edging with hand lasted about 14 minutes, which I was rather disappointed about as previously I could always go for 30 minutes easily with my hand.

Had a fair amount of pre cum and sensitivity was average, perhaps slightly above average.

Did various positions, laying on side thrusting, missionary thrusting, standing, laying on back etc. Have noticed that missionary seems to bring me closer to the PONR a lot, lot faster, majority of time was me thrusting on side.

Had a few interruptions, so had to stop and start a few times although I paused the clock for that time, so 14 minutes is still an accurate time.

I could have potentially held off but noticed towards the 14 minute mark I was reaching the PONR after a few thrusts and when the ejaculation process had begun I squeezed head and kegal'd hard but was unable to stop.

Think I need to do more ballooning and work on slower breathing.

I did try RK a few times to see if that decreased my level of arousal which it did seem to partially.

11/04/18
Begun with ballooning and trying to stimulate frenulum, noticed that it gave me that tingling type of feeling which would not subside no matter what I did.
Also noticed that it made my pc muscles tight, even when I'd RK I could still tell my pelvic floor was not completely relaxed and that tingling feeling was still there.

Head sensitivity was very high and have noticed that my time for reaching PONR seems to be a lot faster than about 2 months ago, perhaps due to kegals /reverse kegals. So I will stop doing kegals for a few weeks and add in some pelvic floor stretches and exercises and see how that affects my stamina /performance time.

After ballooning for about 8 minutes I started adding some edging in to it, but my sensitivity was too high perhaps due to the frenulum stimulation and ballooning but I would reach the PONR very fast with just a few thrusts /strokes so I returned to ballooning.

I tried to use the taoist method of transferring my sexual energy up my spine and in to my head which did reduce my arousal level somewhat, but I then started ballooning again whilst kegaling which ended up taking me over the PONR and I was unable to hold it back although I did kegal hard, squeeze head and push on golden point I think it was too late.

Still need to make a lot more progress and review what's going on because somethings not quite right.

15/04/18
After a bit of research I have come to the the conclusion that kegals may be making my PE worse as since I have started to do them again recently my time has started to reduce again strangely.

In the beginning I could last about 30 minutes after several weeks of practice with my hand, although for the first couple of weeks I couldn't even stay hard/ aroused enough to edge/masturbate at all, strangely enough.

Although now my EQ is very high, like today for example my dick was ridiculously hard although that could be due to the fact I've not had sex for the last month and having such a strong EQ may have been the reason for my sensitivity.

For some reason today whilst edging my sensitivity was crazy high and the feeling of masturbating /thrusting (even slow thrusts /strokes) made me know that I wouldn't be able to go for a long time today.

The past few days I've stopped all kegals,(although I'm contemplating doing reverse kegals) and have introduced hindu squats in to my routine and will add some pelvic floor stretches.

Also I think I've previously over did it on the kegals as my pelvic floor muscles are still aching from kegals 3 days ago which may have been a factor in my stamina.

I only managed to edge for 8 minutes today and that was stopping and starting and going relatively slow.

Was aware of my breathing and trying to breath deeply and slowly, varied thrust depth and speed and trying to relax my whole body.

Very frustrating, feels like since coming home my sexual stamina has reduced, as even with STU I could last longer. May be due to the fact that there are people here and I'm afraid if getting caught in the back of my mind.

Back in China

22/04/18
Edging with heated STU, first time in a couple of weeks and was a very disappointing session.

Lasted only 3 minutes, begun on back and on side thrusting, pleasure was too high, so I slowed down and changed position on knees (doggy) thrusting and wasn't able to hold of the ponr.

Conditions were not optimal though, as I'm feeling very tired still from the traveling /time difference and didn't sleep all that well either.

Although I'm not sure if that's a factor or not.
Now I'm back in China, I can start working on it properly again.

Start to do more exercises and edging /ballooning again, several times a week.

Still haven't had sex for over a month, may also be a factor?

29/04/18
Edging with cold STU, ejaculated within 20 seconds, probably the worst session I've had in a very long time.

First ejaculation was a partial although it was a lot of ejaculate I thought it was a full ejaculation but i kept on stroking and then a full ejaculation ensued within another 5-10 fast strokes.

I have given kegals/RK'S a break this week as I thought they may have been doing more harm then good but I'm not so sure.

Also as I have not had sex this past month or longer or masturbated/edged for over a week, I'm thinking I'm falling behind on the training and practice which may be the biggest factor.

I also haven't been doing any pelvic floor exercises or stretches.

I'm not sure at this moment in time what to do, I can't even see how I would do in the bedroom as I'm not able to have sex at the moment.

But these past few weeks it's beginning to feel like I'm going backwards rather than forwards.

Feeling Frustrated.

[User4286 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close User4286]

It's normal that in the beginning it seems like you make no progress at all. Just keep it rolling and success will follow. Accept that this is a journey no magic spell.

[Kakal Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kakal]

It's normal that in the beginning it seems like you make no progress at all. Just keep it rolling and success will follow. Accept that this is a journey no magic spell.

Yeah, I suspect it is but I'm going on about 5 months now since I began and I'm not really seeing progress, in fact it feels like I'm going backwards rather than forwards.

Did you read my posts?

[User4286 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close User4286]

After 5 months I had also no real progress. It sucks I know but that's the way it its.

Do the exercises relaxed, your body and mind need time to adopt to lasting longer.

[Kakal Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kakal]

I have started to doing RK's again and light RK holds for up to 20 minutes at a time, as I've noticed these past weeks that I've been having crazy IK's even when just laying in bed and kissing/touching my girl and getting aroused, and also releasing some precum, my dick is literally throbbing. Very strange.

My whole pelvic floor has felt very strange these last few weeks. I'm always physically aware of it, I'm not sure if it's tight or what but it just feels weird if that makes sense, like I'm always aware of it.

[Kakal Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kakal]

Also have been reading about death grip edging so I will try that for a few weeks and see how that affects my stamina and try with my STU after or maybe alternate, not sure quite yet. Have also purchased a yoga mat and a tennis ball so will do some pelvic floor stretches and exercises.

The only issue I have is that I've been seeing my girl a lot recently, like 5 days a week, so I've not been able to practice edging except for maybe once or twice a week. I suppose I could always ask her to assist.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Partnered edging is the best.

[Drjohn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drjohn]

First of all when you describe that the ponr comes from nowhere even tho your arousal isnt high - this means alot of tension in your BC muscle.

If you are this tense (which you are) and you do kegels, you wont go any further steps forward, quit the kegels, focus on long hold reverse kegels, ONLY!!

I was in the exact same position and the regular kegels is just counterproductive as long as you have any tension down there.

IK's should only happen at ONE TIME During masturbation/sex and that is when you are ejaculating, any kind of IKs during stimulation, touching whatever is a sign of pure tension down there, for ANYONE with this case, its simple, NO regular kegels, ONLY reverse kegels, it takes time, it took 2-3months of constant RK for me to feel like i was completely relaxed at all times, and to feel that i have no issues with IKS during intense masturbation.


Easy steps to fix premature ejaculation;

Find out the reason, mostly tension, some cases anxiety, mostly tension and premature ejaculation which causes a dead loop with anxiety.

Tension - Alot of involuntary kegels, sudden PONR from nowhere, other issues like urinary issues, bowel movement issues, varicocele.

Start a 100% RK routine, may take months, do it for longer holds, do hindi squats every day, hold the squats for 3-5 minutes and do it 3-5 times.

premature ejaculators almost only feel sensations and pleasure right before, and at the orgasm. People who doesnt have premature ejaculation will feel real
pleasure during the whole intercourse without feeling the need to orgasm.

you will feel when you are rid of the tension, this is the time to incorporate edging, edging with tension is a waste of time and will take you nowhere.

Alot of people around here seem to waste their time with "stop and starts" which means you go to PONR, wait for 10 seconds, and go to ponr again and just repeat, this is not taking you anywhere, plateau edging is whats needed, if you have an edging session of 10-15min, you should feel CONSTANT pleasure during these 10-15min, plateau edging is about staying as close to the PONR as you can, for as long as you can.

Gradually you will feel yourself getting more and more used to the sensation and lastly you will ejaculate at command.

not negotiable this is how you cure premature ejaculation, and people around here are wasting too much time.

TAKE alot of time, do research and find out what your reason for premature ejaculation is then work after the plan


Also, forgot to add;

If you realized you have tension down there, figure out why there is tension down there.

For some its because alot of sitting, bad habit of holding light kegels during stimulation for greater pleasure, bad posture etc
and improve it.

For me, it was a bad habit of light kegels, also sucking in my stomach for 15 years every day all day.

[CFG Member Find all posts View Profile Close CFG]

I'm new to this as well but what I also think might not be helping is you seemed all consumed by it and very very stressed about it. Try to not stress too much about it as that causes more tension as well. Mines up and down as well being can last 10min sometimes where my wife's ready for me to be done as she's starting to get sore or geez sometimes I feel like it's 1min.

Myself, I've realized I have alot of tension down there like the guy above due to sucking in my stomach for 10yrs+ without really realizing it. Really try to work on abdominal breathing, it has helped me a lot with relaxing. I also suffer with stage fright when taking a leak in public. Don't ask me why I'm not ashamed or embarrassed by what I have but even happens with my wife if she's in the bathroom with me sometimes. It's weird to me but also realized it's that same muscle that needs to be controlled when doing RKs so I know what I need to work on for that as well. Don't do kegels until you have good control on RKs. Just some things to maybe think about if it applies to you as well. Try to look at the small victories rather than the "failures" that will help you look to the bright side cause focusing on the bad will only make it worse I would guess.

[Kakal Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kakal]

First of all when you......

Thankyou so much for the in depth reply, I really appreciate it!

When you say to hold the hindu squat for several minutes, do you mean to basically sit in the squat position all the way down, like they do in China? Or like when you squat to go to the toilet outside / Asian toilet? All the way down but this time with my heels off the ground, like a Hindu squat?

[Kakal Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kakal]

Update : last few edging sessions - diary.

30/04/18
Started a new routine today,
Death grip masturbation to reduce sensitivity.

Before masturbating I held a light reverse kegal for 17 minutes but stopped as I could tell it was making my PC muscles ache.

Began dry edging for 5 minutes with pretty fast strokes and decided to add some lube after due to not wanting to chafe my dick up like has happened before.

Unfortunately I only lasted 2 minutes extra once I incorporated the lube. It was the head stimulation which sent me over the PONR, using an OK finger sign and masturbating the head, my arousal level was fairly high at this point.

Was stupid of me, I should have slowed down/taken a break. I have noticed the last few times I've stimulated the head/just concentrated on the head in a masturbation type of scenario it always makes my pelvic floor very tight and makes my body tense which causes me to ejaculate.

2/5/18
Girlfriend stimulated me manually dry for somewhere between 15-20 minutes, was fairly slow strokes, although the speeds did vary.

Didn't feel overly aroused although when she started to stroke fast I could feel my level of arousal increase to around a 7. 5-8.5 but felt fairly in control of it.

No ejaculation.

5/5/18
Thought I'd try the STU today, ended up being a disaster, I heated it up and went inside not feeling overly aroused, my EQ was barely hard enough to enter maybe 4/10 as had a a slight bend in the middle.

Started stroking whilst laying on my back, trying to remain relaxed and calm but could feel that my pc muscles were squeezing, so I held a light RK to try and balance it /relax the pelvic floor but it didn't work and the PONR appeared before me and I orgasmed and ejaculated after less than a minute.

I don't understand why I'm going backwards rather than forwards. It's pretty frustrating, my stamina has decreased rather than increased these past few months.

I'm hoping it's one of these things that gets worse before it gets better...




I have been doing a lot of RK holds recently and my pelvic floor is aching, not sure if this has an effect, maybe I'll take a few days off from RK's and allow the muscles to rest and heal.

[Kakal Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kakal]

Do you guys think it's better to lay off the STU for a while and instead just concentrate on death grip dry masturbation?

I came across a couple of threads on here about death grip masturbation, reducing sensitivity etc. One guy said 2 weeks was enough for him to be in control.


https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...guarantee.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...eath-grip.html

[CFG Member Find all posts View Profile Close CFG]

For me dry edging I have way more control compared to when I have lube. I've masterbated dry for years and I could go all day pretty much no IKs.

Add lube and boy I IK like crazy when I go over the head. Now I've been "desensitizing" myself the last idk 6 weeks since my PreE really got bad there by simply focusing on that part with lube I'll stroke the shaft alittle then just stroke the head for however long until I have an IK then back to the shaft and back to the head once I get under control again. It's amazing how far I've come in that time though as where a few strokes would be too much and now can go 20 or so fast and firm ones before I need to stop. It's made a difference during sex as well. I just ordered an STU and should be here this coming week so I'm interested to see how it affects my PreE.

I say try the dry death grip and see what happens. I mean at this point what is there to lose??