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  • Need some help with almost everything...

    Hi, I have been wanting to post on this and make an account for a while now and I've finally got myself to do it because I'm really exhausted with everything not seeming to work. I am aware I have bad PE and have been consciously trying to fix it for a while now. I've tried RK for about a week and a half (20 reps 3 times a day for 10 seconds) after quitting a few months ago because I couldn't feel a good "contraction" of anything and I can feel a little difference now, but I still can't RK while masturbating to stop strong IKs (I can still keep the light ones from happening). I've been trying edging for only a few days after quitting a few months ago because I just wasn't motivated enough. I really sick of PE and ready to put it to rest for good in my life because I wanna have some fun without the worry of all this.
    I would really appreciate it if a few people would give me advice on how I can make edging sessions more effective (so far I got for about 10-15 minutes and I usually end up going to PONR and then coming back down and repeating, I can't seem to stay at one level), RKs even stronger/feel them a lot more, and somehow keep my IK and arousal levels down because whenever I see or think about sex or anything in that realm I started to get hard, but I do try to stop myself whever that happens.
    Any help would be very much appreciated, Thank you!!!!!

  • #2
    I'd be happy to help if I can, but I do not see any specific questions in your post.

    If you want to do it, you have to commit.
    It takes work. Daily edging is one thing. Do some pelvic floor yoga, too. Get some exercise.
    03/2015 Start <Able to last ~ 2 mins PIV>
    Thread
    12/2019 EL: +2.2 MEG: +1 <Able to last 60+ mins PIV>

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by incogneeetoe View Post
      I'd be happy to help if I can, but I do not see any specific questions in your post.

      If you want to do it, you have to commit.
      It takes work. Daily edging is one thing. Do some pelvic floor yoga, too. Get some exercise.
      I'll check out some pelvic floor yoga on youtube or something to start out with and I can't word things correctly sometimes. The questions I was trying to get across were how can I feel a reverse kegel more because I can't use it to stop IK, will it just take time? And will daily edging work how its supposed to help pe? With edging should I stay away from ponr or should i try to stay near it without getting to it? Thank you for responding to my post though!

      Comment


      • #4
        I had a hard time getting the hang or reverse kegels (RKs). Then I read someone comparing it to pulling and pushing out. A kegel is pulling the testicles up into the body, an RK is pushing the testicles out and away. It does take some work, especially since most of us do kegels automatically all of our lives when urinating. But once you start on the RK, you can get stronger. Took me about 3 months to get that conditioned.

        Daily edging is an exercise, it is training the body to push that PONR further and further back. As with any exercise it is a matter of practice makes perfect.

        The PONR is a 10 on the excitement scale, full ejaculation. Stopping before the PONR is getting to 9.9 on the excitement scale, or right on the "edge" and then calming back down. It is suggested to go back down to 0, or no erection at all, and then back up, but that seems unrealistic to me. I think most will calm down to about a 7 or 6. Still erect, but no longer really excited.

        The general method is to get to the PONR 4 times and then ejaculate. By moving up and down the excitement scale you become better accustomed to the levels of excitement and then better at controlling the ejaculation response.

        I started by the normal method, get up to the edge of PONR and stopped, calmed back down and then back to PONR, etc. I found that I was still waiting or aiming for that ejaculation, so I took it out of the equation. I separate edging from orgasm. I also do not go up to PONR anymore. I stay at an 8 excitement level. I ride that 8 for about 15 minutes then stop.

        It used to be that my EQ and Excitement were linked. My highest EQ, a 10, was also the highest excitement. But I found that by staying at a certain excitement level I have allowed myself to get to higher and higher EQ levels while still maintaining the lower excitement. It used to be that an 8 on the excitement level was also an 8 on the EQ. It used to be I would just balloon to stay at that level. If I started to pump or do other stimulation, it would shoot up. Now I can actually jerk the erection for 5~10 minutes and remain at that level. It takes concentration, and I am always aware of how tense my pelvic floor is, but I can control it all.

        Now, even though my excitement is at an 8, the EQ is at a 9.5. My wife has noticed, albeit indirectly, as she always thinks I am about to cum. Because she was so used to my hardest erection level coinciding with my being about to ejaculate. But now the high EQ is just that, high EQ. Gets her all hot and bothered.

        Anyway, if you were to emulate what I did, start out by getting as close to the PONR as possible, then relax. Do that until you are well aware of your own excitement levels. Then start doing riding excitement levels. Get up to a 9 or 8 and stay there as long as possible.
        03/2015 Start <Able to last ~ 2 mins PIV>
        Thread
        12/2019 EL: +2.2 MEG: +1 <Able to last 60+ mins PIV>

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by incogneeetoe View Post
          I had a hard time getting the hang or reverse kegels (RKs). Then I read someone comparing it to pulling and pushing out. A kegel is pulling the testicles up into the body, an RK is pushing the testicles out and away. It does take some work, especially since most of us do kegels automatically all of our lives when urinating. But once you start on the RK, you can get stronger. Took me about 3 months to get that conditioned.

          Daily edging is an exercise, it is training the body to push that PONR further and further back. As with any exercise it is a matter of practice makes perfect.

          The PONR is a 10 on the excitement scale, full ejaculation. Stopping before the PONR is getting to 9.9 on the excitement scale, or right on the "edge" and then calming back down. It is suggested to go back down to 0, or no erection at all, and then back up, but that seems unrealistic to me. I think most will calm down to about a 7 or 6. Still erect, but no longer really excited.

          The general method is to get to the PONR 4 times and then ejaculate. By moving up and down the excitement scale you become better accustomed to the levels of excitement and then better at controlling the ejaculation response.

          I started by the normal method, get up to the edge of PONR and stopped, calmed back down and then back to PONR, etc. I found that I was still waiting or aiming for that ejaculation, so I took it out of the equation. I separate edging from orgasm. I also do not go up to PONR anymore. I stay at an 8 excitement level. I ride that 8 for about 15 minutes then stop.

          It used to be that my EQ and Excitement were linked. My highest EQ, a 10, was also the highest excitement. But I found that by staying at a certain excitement level I have allowed myself to get to higher and higher EQ levels while still maintaining the lower excitement. It used to be that an 8 on the excitement level was also an 8 on the EQ. It used to be I would just balloon to stay at that level. If I started to pump or do other stimulation, it would shoot up. Now I can actually jerk the erection for 5~10 minutes and remain at that level. It takes concentration, and I am always aware of how tense my pelvic floor is, but I can control it all.

          Now, even though my excitement is at an 8, the EQ is at a 9.5. My wife has noticed, albeit indirectly, as she always thinks I am about to cum. Because she was so used to my hardest erection level coinciding with my being about to ejaculate. But now the high EQ is just that, high EQ. Gets her all hot and bothered.

          Anyway, if you were to emulate what I did, start out by getting as close to the PONR as possible, then relax. Do that until you are well aware of your own excitement levels. Then start doing riding excitement levels. Get up to a 9 or 8 and stay there as long as possible.
          Thank you for your information and guide you provided me, much appreciated!! I just feel like this all isn't working. Like when edging i dont feel like im doing anything because i slowly get up to 8 or 9 then reach ponr very quickly, then I rest and when i start again it all gets up to ponr fast again. Everytime I edge its been like this and i can't stop it with reverse kegels because those are not strong at all, still haven't made progress with it. It's all just so frustrating and with all the other problems with my life it makes it so much worse knowing that I'm probably doing everything wrong.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by David1996 View Post
            Thank you for your information and guide you provided me, much appreciated!! I just feel like this all isn't working. Like when edging i dont feel like im doing anything because i slowly get up to 8 or 9 then reach ponr very quickly, then I rest and when i start again it all gets up to ponr fast again. Everytime I edge its been like this and i can't stop it with reverse kegels because those are not strong at all, still haven't made progress with it. It's all just so frustrating and with all the other problems with my life it makes it so much worse knowing that I'm probably doing everything wrong.
            It can be very frustrating, but if you want to improve it takes work. How long have you been working on the PreE? Your posts say you joined in May. Did you start before May?
            03/2015 Start <Able to last ~ 2 mins PIV>
            Thread
            12/2019 EL: +2.2 MEG: +1 <Able to last 60+ mins PIV>

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by incogneeetoe View Post
              It can be very frustrating, but if you want to improve it takes work. How long have you been working on the PreE? Your posts say you joined in May. Did you start before May?
              Well I've tried to do reverse kegelz and edge before, but i gave up on it a few times because I have never seen any kind of benefit from doing all this. It always felt the same (btw I started doing excersizes right around when I started). Now it I a little bit more relaxed down there, but if still feels like I have the same tension as I've always had down there because i involuntary kegel if I move around a lot. Its very hard to control it and i thought doing reverse kegels and stretches would help, but they haven't really so far for the past few weeks. My routine is 15 reverse kegel holds for 10 seconds about 3 times a day. At the end of the day I stretch out my penis by pulling it from the tip in different directions. I feel like I need to do kegels too now bc if I hold a kegel its kind like spasms while I hold a kegel.

              Comment


              • #8
                Dont expect quick fixes, when you want to change your body's default mindset. Im on it too. And i lost the love of my life partial caused by this problem. My signature says it all. I am 20 and by my 21th birthday in a few months, i want to get my system working. Have Goals, have ambitions. Dont have your life taken away by your symptoms. Be the change you want. Motivation is not enough, discipline is what it takes. In the mind and body.

                Feel your emotions but dont let them control you.

                Good luck on your journey
                “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Wishing is not enough; we must do.”
                – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

                My Journey on Premature Ejaculation

                Comment


                • #9
                  Well I've been off here for quite a while now and I've taken some peoples advice and tried a few more things and i think it's working. I am trying to get a good mind muscle connection with involuntary kegels and with reverse kegels and i think it's starting to make sense now. I've also realized that i use my pelvic floor way more as a stabilizer than i use my abs which i probably why I IK so much (i know the pelvic floor is with the core, but it shouldn't BE the core). I no longer need to kegel when i finish peeing and in the beginning that felt almost impossible. I feel a LOT nore relaxed down there most of the time, but could still use more time. I also have one question for anyone out there, i don't edge and i try not to masturbate, but the times i have I can hold off IKs for a while but eventually they started to phase in and out (i can stop them but then they come back again every few seconds or so and its hard to stop with a reverse kegel when im going at it. Id have to completely stop stimulation to try and RK but it probably is just time). Anymore help would be appreciated!!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I've noticed something similar with RK's. I can easily stop any small ones, but approaching PONR, they have zero effect and I'm wondering if it's because I'm not doing any regular kegel exercises and I know my pelvic floor is week. Are you not doing regular kegel's as well?

                    If so, perhaps someone with more knowledge than me can answer weather that could be a contributing factor?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by jaxw View Post
                      I've noticed something similar with RK's. I can easily stop any small ones, but approaching PONR, they have zero effect and I'm wondering if it's because I'm not doing any regular kegel exercises and I know my pelvic floor is week. Are you not doing regular kegel's as well?

                      If so, perhaps someone with more knowledge than me can answer weather that could be a contributing factor?
                      I currently am not doing any regular kegels, but what I was thinking a few days ago was that if a muscle is weak and tight (like people with pe are) you can't control it. I was thinking if you work it out and do regular kegels you can just do enough to condition it so your body knows how to control it a little better. I ain't no physical therapist or know much about anatomy, but i think that at least doing them will benefit (I'd say dont kegel extremely hard, just mild and focus on it bc super hard and fast kegs make it tight). If anyone else reads this please confirm or give a better answer, thanks.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The only reason I've been avoiding them is due to that fact that it seems there's a fine line between enough and too much when it comes to kegel's and people end up making IK's even worse or do actual damage. However, from everything I've been reading it seems obvious that my pelvic floor is, at the very least, too tight. Now, doing kegel's will not help a tight PV. I've never really done kegel's as an exercise so I can only assume that my PV is also weak. So, I'm currently coming up with a routine that works best for me for stretches, RK's and kegel's.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          That sounds great! Share it with me so I could possibly look at it and maybe use some of it because i think im just going to restart with a new routine. I haven't really seemed to get a good enough relaxed PV even tho ive been at this for a few months.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            You seem on the right track . You could consider increasing edging just in stop/start mode.
                            Rk ability increases with training . You ask a good question beyond actual rk ability is there a minimum strength level required to be able to do rk at the upper end of arousal. I suspect there is but am not sure . You could alse ask MinuteMan.
                            When to add or increase kegel is a judgement call.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Yes, if a muscle is weak and tight you cannot control it very well, like a new born deer stumbling on it's legs.

                              Do kegels for two weeks, then just do reverse ones for a month. See what happens.

                              Good luck man, hope everything turns out just fine!

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