Committed to improvement

[TheR]

Forgot to add. Tried ballooning again (with lube) but my body just doesn't react to it whatsoever!

[WillGetBetter]

Forgot to add. Tried ballooning again (with lube) but my body just doesn't react to it whatsoever!

Okay. Good piece of information. Maybe it means that sensitivity isn’t the biggest issue for you. It sounds like IKs, holding your breath, and tight pelvic floor may be the main causes. If sensitivity isn’t a big issue for you, then it’s possible that the PYT balm won’t be helpful. It seems to work for a lot of people, but I’ve also read many reviews where it didn’t work for some.

I have no experience with the magnesium supplements. Let me know how that goes.

It sounds like your edging sessions with the STU are good indicators for what could happen with real sex. I’d say keep working on the relaxation, breathing, and loosing the pelvic floor with stretches and RKs. I couldn’t fight off the IKs for the first couple weeks either. I still have them now, but they are less intense and I seem to be able to handle them better or have gotten more used to them. I would keep going with the super slow speed. Even stop for a while and just breathe and RK with no movement during your edging. Are you ejaculating every time? It’s kind of a pain in the butt and I found it really hard not to do it - but I tried to only ejaculate every third time I edged. I think that did help my brain make the connection that I decide when I will ejaculate.

Good luck.

[iwillbeatit]

Yeah i am doing the same i only ejaculate ever 3-4 edging session to train my brain not the ejcaulate is the goal the intercourse is the goal

my edging session yesterday with STU was not so good like the last (i have to admit i was in a litte hurry) my time to ponr was one min less then the last time..and the overall feeling was not so under control..but i think this comes from my stressed body cause i have to be at a meeting in 1h.. will try it again

What i noticed: my pelvic floor was rock hard after the first ponr and i didnt get it loose, then i stop complete waitet about 4min in this pose with deep breaths and rk (https://consciouslifenews.com/10-yog...ions/11100829/) then my pelvic floor loosens and my errection was at lvl 2-3 i startet again but after a few pumps the ponr was back with very slow strokes about 7-10 sek.
I have done so hard rk cause i wanted to loosens this hard pelvic floor that my anus starts to hurt so i stopped..
I think i forget this session and will try it again.

i get myself 2-3 times in the "old me" feeling, id like just to pump the stu for the feeling of ejaculating, i have to stop and sayed to myself "dont do it" i think this feeling overcome a lot of us an we dont recognize it, it is really hard to recognize this wehn u into it.

how is your training going? any news/updates?

[WillGetBetter]

@iwillbeatit

Thanks for the update. I definitely had days where I took a step back - even after I felt like I had figured something out. I agree that stress can change how your body and mind reacts. Keep going. You have made progress over the last week.

I have a question. You said your anus hurt. Was that from RKs? I've heard that you can reverse kegel two different muscles (or groups of muscles): the back (including the anus) and the front. Are you doing a RK that make your anus feel like it's relaxing? I believe that I've read that the RKs for ejaculation control is on the muscles that are further forward (in the direction of the penis and not your anus). Are you doing RKs on the entire pelvic floor (front and back) or just the back? I am making an assumption here - so maybe I'm not understanding what you are doing, but the next time you urinate maybe try to start the flow of pee without RKing your anus - just the front muscle(s)? Those are the ones that I loosen to control arousal. Maybe someone who's more of an expert can give some guidance here.

I've definitely had sessions where no amount of breathing, relaxing, RKs helped me lower my arousal once I had spike up to the PONR. After having that happen 2 or 3 times, I decided that I would try to slow down my speed, RK earlier, and try to stay further away from the PONR. Can you RK for every in thrust? Can you push your penis in without tightening your pelvic floor muscles?

I am still edging, ballooning, and stretching everyday. I want to have sex successfully four times before I modify my routine. That's a completely arbitrary number - but it's something I've decided. With edging, I am at the point where I do my "start-up" process of breathing, RKs, relaxing my body to let that initial flush of feeling pass through me (maybe 30 seconds) -- and then I can go at a high speed in the four positions I've practiced (on back, standing, on knees, and in missionary). The hip rotation trick that I got from Pegasus's idea was the breakthrough that now allows me to do missionary without spiking out of control. That was the knowledge that I really needed to figure that position out.


I'm starting to play around with allowing my arousal level to go higher. For a while, I'd say I was conservative and tried to stay near a 5-6 in arousal (EQ was near 100%). But now, I want to push that higher. I am aiming for a 6-7 and control the level with my speed, RKs, etc. After having sex a couple more times, I plan to introduce some normal kegels into my routine. For stretching, I have a very soft tennis ball that I sit on much of the day. I still do the yoga stretches, hindi squats, butterfly/reverse butter fly. I mostly use ballooning at the beginning to get things going. Now that I'm not looking at porn, it's a bit more difficult to get started. I'd also like to ramp down my edging. Doing it everyday allowed me to make the fastest progress and allowed my body to really get used to all the intense feelings, but it's time consuming. So, after I hit the 4 successful sex sessions, I think I'll start dropping my edging sessions by one a week - and go from 7 a week to 3 a week.

[iwillbeatit]

Today i will do my next training session with STU will report back on monday.

I read your post yesterday and focused on my rk (during the day in work, in the car on the way home and so on..) i try to do front rk, and yeah i can feel a difference between back rk an front rk, so i am doing now front rk for the main time.

you mentioned in a other thread: in edging session you spike over 9, 9-5 and then the eding session is over because you dont come down again! man u are so right, that was my problem my last 2 sessions and i didnt see it, i will try this definitly today.
But: i think we should go on the edge in a "edging" session...?

In edging how you do it? u try to increase the time to the ponr or what i read in other threads from other users they try to get to the ponr and stay there at the lvl for 10 and more minutes. in my opinion i think its better to increase the time to the ponr - whats your opinion?

I dont have so much time to edge every day, i try 3-4 times a week, i know i will need a few more days weeks but its ok i have pr e now for 30 years
i forgot your hip trick in my last session, have to try it today.
but i am training every day streches, hindi, rk, and so on..

Its nice to talk to you, someone how got the same problem, and the same effort and will to fight it. It keeps me motivatet and even more motivates me then u can last around 10min in bed! BIG congrats!
thats my first goal too.

so nobody answerd on my autosuggestion thread, do you use it? U say to yourself "i can have sex 20min" "i can determin when i ejcaulate" i think it helps me to reprogramm my brain.

[WillGetBetter]

When I started to see improvements and started to build a small plateau phase was when I began going very slowly, and did a lot of RKs right away so I never came close to the PONR. I focused on increasing the time to PONR. At first, it was 30 seconds, and then over a two week period I built up to 5 minutes. I had to stay relaxed, not thrust my hips because that caused me to tighten my pelvic floor.

I learned to RK for every in stroke of the STU with my hand while I inhaled.

That is the exact technique that is working with real sex. Looking back at my posts, I had no plateau for a couple weeks. But, then the plateau started increasing. I’d say keep the arousal low and work on increasing your time by going slow, breathing, and doing RKs.

Now that I have a plateau, I will work on pushing my arousal level up. But, there’s no way I could have done that without first building a plateau.

I have not tried auto suggestion. I think it would be helpful for building my confidence. I’ll give it a try.

In addition to the information on this form, the support and community aspects are extremely important.Good luck to you.

[Pegasus]

Good thread .

[WillGetBetter]

...
I dont have so much time to edge every day, i try 3-4 times a week, i know i will need a few more days weeks but its ok i have pr e now for 30 years ...

If you don’t have time for a full edging session every day, maybe you could do 5 minutes of ballooning in the bathroom to work on sensitive areas?

[iwillbeatit]

so yesterday i had a good edging session with stu, i had a lot of time wife was shopping so i take my time bevor i startet i take a few deep breaths and startet - first break at 12min!! and the session was 25min long! huge improvment, will see how the next one is going
What i noticed i used a new lube it was way better then the old one and i have to use much less then with the old on.

Today i have sex with my wife lastet 3min with 1 Position change and slow speed. I dont feel so under control, after the sex i was thinking about it what was "wrong" then i noticed i forget all my technics after a few strokes i dont breath deep, i dont rk, i dont relax.... we have done doggy, thats her favorite position (and i edge in this postition only for training) all i was seeing was my handy on her butt......i think my arousal was to high and so i forgot all my learnings and technics?

So this is not a fallback for me its a good step in the right way, a few weeks ago i would not do such of thinking whats "wrong" i would be in anger a a few moments because i lastet only a few minutes, but now i am doing thinking about it and i know what i have done wrong, what i have to do next time.

So lets get back to training, training, training...it will be better!


@Pegasus: thank you! WillGetBetter is a good teacher! he put a lot of information an effort to his posts!

[Shikamaru]

so yesterday i had a good edging session with stu, i had a lot of time wife was shopping so i take my time bevor i startet i take a few deep breaths and startet - first break at 12min!! and the session was 25min long! huge improvment, will see how the next one is going
What i noticed i used a new lube it was way better then the old one and i have to use much less then with the old on.

Today i have sex with my wife lastet 3min with 1 Position change and slow speed. I dont feel so under control, after the sex i was thinking about it what was "wrong" then i noticed i forget all my technics after a few strokes i dont breath deep, i dont rk, i dont relax.... we have done doggy, thats her favorite position (and i edge in this postition only for training) all i was seeing was my handy on her butt......i think my arousal was to high and so i forgot all my learnings and technics?

So this is not a fallback for me its a good step in the right way, a few weeks ago i would not do such of thinking whats "wrong" i would be in anger a a few moments because i lastet only a few minutes, but now i am doing thinking about it and i know what i have done wrong, what i have to do next time.

So lets get back to training, training, training...it will be better!


@Pegasus: thank you! WillGetBetter is a good teacher! he put a lot of information an effort to his posts!

have you told your wife about you trying to improve? that could help a lot and she could help you edge. Also if shes your wife , then you can be relaxed bro and know that you dont have to worry about too much. Second, try to make your sex last as long as possible. Shoot for 20mins, even if you have to pull out a lot. You should know your arousal scale which is the biggest factor that helped me become a lot better at sex because i knew when i got to a 8, and then a 9, 9.5 and i had to pull out and chill for a second or i was going to cum. or i could pull out around 9.5 and kegel really hard and stop myself from cumming then going back in. use your sex as edging sesions as well, take your time, do doggy go at your own speed. Eat her out first, so you can get her off then its your turn to just go at your pace. It took me 7 or 8 sessions of having 5mins of sex because i didnt know my arousal scale or the feeling to cum was just so strong i couldnt resist and i blew. after that, i got use to the sensations and it kept getting longer because the whole session, i would focus on my arousal scale and breathe and just see where im at. This helped a lot because i knew when i had to slow down, i knew when i could speed up. Try this and see how it works. Focus on arousal scale and relaxing ur pelvic floor. remember baby steps, you will see progress my friend.