Committed to improvement

[WillGetBetter]

Been a few days since I've been in here so thought I'd stop by. I'm still really really struggling to concentrate on breathing whilst edging and then when I do remember it seems to push me to the PONR. I'm also still struggling to control my involuntary kegals. Maybe I just need more practice.

One strange thing I've noticed is that if I lie on my back and get to the PONR I can stand up and hold a light RK whilst still stroking and my arousal level drops and I can go on for longer. If I then get back on my back I'm immediately at the PONR. Just trying to get a handle on how my body reacts I suppose. I've also taken to edging with the STU solely on my back for now, initially I was trying to change positions etc. but decided to keep trying to on my back first to see if I can improve.

Been taking slow mag magnesium chloride for under a week now at half the dose. It's made little to no improvement on edging but I find it takes more for me to get aroused, and my arousal level drops quicker. Whether this is down to the tablets I'm not sure. From today I'm going to go up to the full dose and see what affect that has.

I'm glad you've also pointed out about how quickly you seem to have gone backwards from a few days off stretches. So far I'm only doing the Hindi squat and probably not as much as I should be. Going to make a conscious effort to up these and mix in some other stretches. Glad you've managed to get some form back though by getting on the kegalling/stretches again!

Unfortunately no opportunity for sex so far, girlfriend been away at University last week and I'm away now for work. I don't think I'm currently seeing any substantial gains on the STU though to translate to sex yet.

This weeks goal - continue to RK during every day activities, do more Hindi squats, add other squats, continue with STU training and up the magnesium dose.

Forgot to add! Previously I'd said my body wasn't reacting to ballooning. During an edging session last week I was at the PONR constantly so had to stop. Decided to try rubbing my frenulum where I didn't get any sensation or anything so didn't think it was working, however, I still got the PONR twice doing this. When I insert into STU or during real sex, I get a massive sensation on my gland/frenulum which seems to push me to the PONR but I don't appear sensitive during ballooning. Going to continue to experiment with ballooning to try and reduce sensation with the STU/Sex

Thanks for the update, TheR. Sounds like you are on your way to figuring out how your body works. How are the RK's working? It sounds like you had some success with standing and RK'ing to drop your arousal. Can you RK when you are lying on your back? Can you RK when you are edging? Does your stomach raise up when you inhale?

[WillGetBetter]

@Will:
You have done it right, u had a "bad" night but u dont give up, u think after about whats wrong and figured it out and now working on this, very good.
Others would say "this is not working, thats shit i will stop" and this people will fail, u will succed.

I think streching is very important for us, our pelvic floor is very thight for so many years now, a few weeks of streching is not enough it needs time and dedecation to loosen it up, i do a lot of streching since i startet i think almost every day 30-60min
i make the same poses u mentioned but i also do this one, just give it a try (hip flexor strech, just googled it and this is the first page)
https://www.t-nation.com/training/ti...ur-hip-flexors

Keep on your programm, if u wanna go for a run do it but in addition to the programm not instead of..
Think of your first goal to fix this in 6 months not 6 weeks give it the time it needs

Pelvic floor rock hard and no chance to loosen it - did u do really deep belly breaths?

i think u nailed it with this sentence, thats totally true:
I became over confident, and naively thought I could have control in every sexual encounter. I guess when you get too cocky life knocks you down as a reminder.


Are your abbs felxed when u doing rk?


Its hard to remember thats right, but first time driving a car was hard to, doing all the things but now we drive without thinking the same will happen in sex from training comes master. train train train... i think the 6 months mark is a good goal!

Thanks for the hip flexor stretch. I will add that one to the routine.

I do tighten my stomach muscles when I RK. I have read that some people (more advanced than me) can RK without tightening the stomach. I haven't figured out how to do that yet. From my experience, I don't think it's a necessity. I have been able to lower my arousal by RK'ing with tension in my stomach. But, I suppose it's something to work towards. Maybe there's a benefit that I don't understand yet.

Thanks for the help.

[Shikamaru]

I don't have a consistent experience during sex yet. Here is what has happened during the six times I've had sex since starting the PreE training at the beginning of September.

1st: came in 30 seconds. Had only been stretching and edging for a few days. Not surprised.
2nd: came in about 15 minutes. Switched positions: girl on top, standing next to bed, and girl on top again. Had to go very slow for the first 5 minutes. RK'd a million times and lost my erection. Then stopped RK'ing so much, found a good plateau for ~10 minutes. She came and then I decide to cum.
3rd: I used the Pau Yuen Tong balm. Put on too much. Couldn't get an erection for a very long time. Finally did. She came after 5-10 minutes. I never ejaculated because I couldn't get my body to feel aroused.
4th: Went really well. She came on top after 5 minutes. I came in missionary after another 5 minutes. I had to work to get there because I am doing so many RKs and relaxing so much. It's hard to switch back to allowing some tension in the pelvic floor required to ejaculate.
5th: Pelvic floor was rock hard - I could not RK. My stomach was rock hard - I could not breathe from my belly. I came in about 30 seconds after trying to stop/start a few times. I had no control.
6th: I spent two days stretching. I finally realized that my stomach was tight. Doing upward dog and cobra helped. We had sex with her on top. She came. I had low EQ from excessive RKs. Once she came, I ramped myself back up so that I could cum. It maybe took about 10 minutes total - with 5 of that being after she finished.

Right now, my wife is not wanting to have intercourse for 30 minutes straight. Maybe that's because I've had PreE our entire relationship - so she's settled for going fast. That might change over time. But, also, we're both in our mid-40's, have two kids, work long hours, have tons of responsibilities and stress --- so I don't think it's likely that she will want me to bang away for an hour. In the few times that I have felt control during sex, I go long enough so that she has an orgasm - and then I go a while longer and make myself cum. In those times, I could go on for quite a while longer, but I'm trying to be considerate of her as well.

For me, I believe I have the start of an understanding of how to control my arousal (breathing, stretching, RKs, ballooning, edging). Now I need to work on developing a plateau at a higher arousal level (maybe a 7 is a good near term goal) by doing less RKs. This week I will try switching to a 10%K/90%RK routine.

Thanks for the suggestions, Shikamaru.

Oh okay now i understand brother! Well i would suggest to you , just get those first 5-10 minutes down, to where you can get her off easy and then i would suggest maybe not cum a couple times? just finish after another 5-10 minutes, and be like dont feel like cumming today baby. Trying to retrain my self to not like the urge to cum. This will teach you not to look for the pleasure of ejaculation. how long have you been with this lady and how long has been your Pre-E? and maybe not an hour but ask 20mins or after you get her off, do you want to keep going a little bit longer baby? try to push yourself see where you can go! sky is the limit brother keep on pushing!

[TheR]

Thanks for the update, TheR. Sounds like you are on your way to figuring out how your body works. How are the RK's working? It sounds like you had some success with standing and RK'ing to drop your arousal. Can you RK when you are lying on your back? Can you RK when you are edging? Does your stomach raise up when you inhale?

I'm not 100% sure that my front RKs are right. I'm doing them throughout the day just doing normal exercises and I will start to get a dull ache/sensation in my penis which I assume is an indication its working but when I RK I get more of a feeling that my anus is ballooning out, so maybe im targeting the back RK more. I'm not sure.

I can RK on my back but it seems to push me closer to the PONR but I do struggle to breath when edging in general, especially on my back so this may be an issue?

The involuntary kegals I have on every stroke as well cancel out the RK so I will try to hold a soft RK but as I stroke down I get a huge involuntary kegal.

I am trying to concentrate on breathing from my diaphragm but I suppose trying to edge, RK, and breath at all is proving a tough task right now.

I did experiment with some 'stay longer' numbing lube earlier and felt I could stay around a lower arousal level for longer. I don't want to use it a lot or rely on it but I suppose its given me an indication that sensitive does play a part here.

[Pegasus]

Just a point here from a mmo master . Most women don't want a hour long session ;

[Shikamaru]

Just a point here from a mmo master . Most women don't want a hour long session ;

That is true! a good 20 mins is normal for most women from my expierences.

[WillGetBetter]

I'm not 100% sure that my front RKs are right. I'm doing them throughout the day just doing normal exercises and I will start to get a dull ache/sensation in my penis which I assume is an indication its working but when I RK I get more of a feeling that my anus is ballooning out, so maybe im targeting the back RK more. I'm not sure.

I can RK on my back but it seems to push me closer to the PONR but I do struggle to breath when edging in general, especially on my back so this may be an issue?

The involuntary kegals I have on every stroke as well cancel out the RK so I will try to hold a soft RK but as I stroke down I get a huge involuntary kegal.

I am trying to concentrate on breathing from my diaphragm but I suppose trying to edge, RK, and breath at all is proving a tough task right now.

I did experiment with some 'stay longer' numbing lube earlier and felt I could stay around a lower arousal level for longer. I don't want to use it a lot or rely on it but I suppose its given me an indication that sensitive does play a part here.

One process I worked on while edging that has really helped me coordinate my breathing and RKs is:

For every in stroke of your penis inhale from the belly and do a long reverse kegel.

I’ve practiced that 100’s of times during the first two weeks of edging practice. It has become a habit now. And, now I realize I need to only RK every 4th or 5th stoke or I lose my erection.

I haven’t had the issue of getting closer to the PONR while doing a RK on my back. This morning I was having a lot of IK and when I tried to RK, it always turned into a IK - which was pushing me more towards the PONR. Maybe something like that is happening?

Or, maybe once you are very close to the PONR - it doesn’t matter what you do at this point - the momentum is too strong.

What else is going on with your pelvic floor when you are on your back and trying to RK away from the PONR? Is everything really tight? Do you feel IK spasms? Are you holding your breath and locking everything up?

Just some thoughts. It sounds like you’re making progress. Nice work. I think your work will pay off.

[iwillbeatit]

Yesterday i have a 20min eding session, cause i read so much about rk while edging / sex i used this session only to understand rk while edging and how this works together.

I tried to get the feeling like u describe it to "get blood out of the penis with an rk", i pulled out a lot from the stu and make a few rk the first time i noticed nothing but after a few times i really noticed that my errection is not as rock hard after the rk and it came a little bit down, startet again and do rk again and so on.
But its really hard for me to do that, i need very deep breaths, i need to pull out and i need very good and hard rk, hope this will get easier with the time.
I think this was a really good thing to do this not only "stupid" edging sesssions i have to understand how this works otherwise i cant do it proper, i think i need 1 or 2 more of this sessions to understand the interaction between rk and arousal / erection

i have a few question from yesterdays session:
Funny i have leard me the same pattern as u describe the post above, i do a rk while going in an relax while going out along with breath in: inhale out: exhale that works really got for me, right now i need the rk with every stroke cause i am not so good with rk yet

With rk is this a feeling that we suck blood out of the penis or do we really suck blood out or is it just the relaxed pelvic floor what lower the arousal / erection
I have done rk the last 1-2 all day long in work, in the car on the way back home, in the supermarket all the things worked fine

While "edging" i have always the "problem" with my anus i will rk on my knees cause i train doggy style i make a few rk and if i touch my pelvic floor to check how hard it is i can always feel my anus stands a bit out like u press for a huge shit if u know what i mean?

Then i became a phone call, i stopped edging and pulled out an do a few rk, while i am on the phone i wont loose my errection and put it back in, than i stroke for at least 7-8min with a good speed almost fast, without doing rk and breathing, and i could stroke with no problem with no feel to cum it was just a good feeling. Was this a plateu or was i just that my brain was absent and on the phone? i was suprised.

I have read a lot about rk in the last 2 day, i have read a few times for us pre e we should do front reverse kegel ok i have done that but i read its the best if you front rk and kegel back. meas u "flex" your anus area and relax in the front? anyone have a experienceon this? or did you do your front rk this way?

edit:
what i changed / implemented in my daily doing:
like u said balooning in shower, and rubbing the glans a bit with the towel maybe to desentinize it a bit
and i rk at every time i go on the toilett i push the pee out

[WillGetBetter]

Hi iwillbeatit,

Sounds like you are figuring some things out, or at least putting in the time and really trying to be cognizant of what you and your body is doing.

When I RK, I cannot feel blood rushing out of my penis. I feel my pelvic floor expand, and I see my EQ get lower over time as I RK - but I don’t feel blood rushing out. I think it’s a bit more subtle of a feeling. Maybe other people feel something different.

I think over time you will get better at the RK during edging so that you can do them while you are thrusting or while you stay inserted - and you will not have to pull out to RK and get the benefit of reduced arousal. The times when I have to pull out now are when I start going to fast, stop breathing/reverse kegeling, and my arousal ramps up to high. Above a level of maybe 8-9, I have to pull out to settle down, and sometimes I can never settle down - or ramp back up really quickly. I need to remember to listen to my body and maintain a lower arousal level. Then, I can keep a plateau by RK’ing during the session without pulling out.

I do not have the same experience with the anus as you described. Maybe it sounds like you are doing a back RK? I’m not sure. Do you think it’s related to your PreE? Do you think it’s a good thing or a bad thing - or don’t you know?

I think the metal state can have a big effect on arousal and ability to plateau. The first day I had no IK while edging was when I was in a really bad mood. It did show me that it was possible for me to not have IKs.

I haven’t tried any of the advance kegel type exercises (front/back combinations). I mostly do front alone, but sometimes that turns into a front and back RK together.

For me, I have continued to stretch, edging, balloon, and now I do about 10-25% as normal kegels as a way to improve my EQ now that my RKs are getting better and my pelvic floor is getting looser. We’ll see how that goes during real sex.

[iwillbeatit]

yesterdays session was all about figure it out again, i lastet 20min in the stu nearly without break just focus on rks.. huge improvments, really good feeling!

Pelvic floor was more looser not hard as a rock, i think i can now feel some changes..

Thanks for explanation i know understand what u meant with your rk, yesterday i changed my procedure i relax on the way in an do an rk on the way out, like i use the motion to get the blood out of the penis with the rk (just for the brain, i know it doesnt work that way but it was easier to do for me)
i think the goal is to do the rk unaware u have sex an whenever your body feel he need an rk you do one and then when you like to come u do a kegel..now i have to do in in every stroke, u one step ahead an do it every 4-5 strokes.. but in a few weeks i think the body do this on his own..maybe

The Anus thing, i really dont know if its good or not, it dont hurt at all, i just noticed it and like to mention it here, maybe someone knows it and say its all right i have the same like u said, so i am a bit less worried that i am not the only one, so it seems to be "normal"

I will do my daily routine in the same way will see what happens the next days.

What streches u are doing? i do the hip flexor i send you, then the upward dog, happy baby pose, (in this one i can really good do rk), forward bend, goddess pose, easy supine twist, childs pose, push ups.
Have u tried Tennisball massage?

Lets keep us updatet here, i think this helps (at least me) a lot.