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I know EXACTLY what my problem is - and now it's time to solve it!

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  • I know EXACTLY what my problem is - and now it's time to solve it!

    Been thinking a lot about my PE problem on a deeper level. I think I know what my problem is:

    It's NOT some kind of pelvic floor imbalance, as I do kegels and RK religiously. It's NOT because of stress, as I'm one of the most stress-free guys around. It's not because my penis is overly sensitive, as I can masturbate for a pretty long time. But as soon as i really imagine myself having sex with one of the girls I masturbate to, my excitement level rises.

    I just get too fucking excited when it's time to put the P into the V!

    Not really sure why I get so damn excited. Maybe because my first sexual encounter was pretty late, by the age of 22, so for many many years I was craving for sex, and now, when it finally happens my mind thinks its the best thing that has ever happened to anyone in the world and my excitement level is 1000.

    Hearing girls moan gets me to excitement level 1000 as well. Seeing them enjoying me licking them or hearing a positive comment about my penis? It's over. excitement level 1000.

    My plan to solve the problem:

    I'm convinced that with a lot of practice (physically and mentally), I can become a sex god (gotta set the goals high!).

    What I'm trying to do from now on:

    - Masturbate/edge to the hottest porn I can find, visualizing myself in the scene, feeling what they feel, etc., really monitoring my arousal level.
    - Eliminating any bad thoughts about my potential performance
    - Catching my thoughts about sex where I think of sex as the absolute best thing in the world (it probably is, but gotta keep the excitement down!)
    - Visualizing myself (without masturbation) having sex with the hottest chicks, moaning wildly, complementing my cock, etc.
    - Master breathing techniques to steer my arousal level.

    I truly believe in the power of visualization. It's the second best thing next to actually doing it, and you can really trick your brain into thinking you're really having sex (the brain even builds new connections, check out some videos of Dr. Joe Dispenza if you're interested!)

    Anyone else having similar issues? What do you guys think about my plan, can you recommend further measures?
    Progress Log: 45 Days: Angion Method & Fordyce Spots
    https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...yce-spots.html

    07/02/18: 6,9 x 4,9
    08/16/18: ? x ?

  • #2
    I think I'm in a very similar position, I can edge for a very long time without porn, but as soon as porn is introduced into the mix, or a real woman, I get incredibly aroused and lose all control. Deep breathing and relaxation techniques somewhat help, but they don't solve the problem.

    I have thought about 2 ways to combat this, pretty much opposites:
    1. Condition yourself to arousal. What I mean by this is to edge to porn always, and try as much as you can to get into the arousing situations while trying to maintain control.
    2. Reset your thinking. Edge without porn, try to disconnect your mind from the arousal=porn. Try to get aroused without porn, only imagination, in hopes that your mind "forgets" what porn does to it.

    I'm currently trying the second method, but I am really unsure which one of them is the better one (or maybe even something else I haven't thought about). Would like to hear thoughts about it from you guys.

    Comment


    • #3
      Just a quick question. How are you masturbating? Do you use lube? Does it physically feel like real sex? For me, if I masturbate without lube, I can go for ever. If my wife gives me a handjob without lube, I can go forever. But, if I use a fleshlight with lube, I’m done in 1-2 minutes - the same as real sex. Just wondering if that might be something to consider in addition to the mental arousal aspect.

      Comment


      • #4
        Practice will certainly help, and many can develop the ability to sustain high levels of arousal and pleasure and ejaculatory control.

        My advice- be careful about using porn for your training! You may want to look into the following: The Detraining Effect: Understanding and Reversing Negative Habits To Improve Erection Quality and Sexual Confidence
        Want a FREE Month of Coaching? PM or email me for details- or CLICK HERE

        The MeCoach Male Enhancement Coaching Service- For All of Your Male Enhancement Needs

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by mmss View Post
          I have thought about 2 ways to combat this, pretty much opposites:
          1. Condition yourself to arousal. What I mean by this is to edge to porn always, and try as much as you can to get into the arousing situations while trying to maintain control.
          2. Reset your thinking. Edge without porn, try to disconnect your mind from the arousal=porn. Try to get aroused without porn, only imagination, in hopes that your mind "forgets" what porn does to it.
          Interesting that there are 2 approaches vastly different, yet both reasonable. I can definitely get aroused without porn, i.e. for exercises that require an erection I never use porn but only my imagination. I've never been a guy to watch porn excessively... As mentioned, the involvement of porn PLUS imagination would be to get myself to a very high arousal level in order to simulate a real life situation...
          Progress Log: 45 Days: Angion Method & Fordyce Spots
          https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...yce-spots.html

          07/02/18: 6,9 x 4,9
          08/16/18: ? x ?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by WillGetBetter View Post
            Just a quick question. How are you masturbating? Do you use lube? Does it physically feel like real sex? For me, if I masturbate without lube, I can go for ever. If my wife gives me a handjob without lube, I can go forever. But, if I use a fleshlight with lube, I’m done in 1-2 minutes - the same as real sex. Just wondering if that might be something to consider in addition to the mental arousal aspect.
            Very good point, my man! I don't use lube, which I realize isn't mirroring real life sex. And in the past, when I've used lube for masturbation, it was over very fast. And that warm, wet feeling inside a vagina just feels so nice... Yeah, I should start using lube, definitely!
            Progress Log: 45 Days: Angion Method & Fordyce Spots
            https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...yce-spots.html

            07/02/18: 6,9 x 4,9
            08/16/18: ? x ?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by WillGetBetter View Post
              Just a quick question. How are you masturbating? Do you use lube? Does it physically feel like real sex?
              Previously I used lube only sometimes. Since starting to work on my pre-e I masturbate exclusively with lube. It does not feel like real sex at all.

              Comment


              • #8
                i tryed that approach, to just look porn and handle the high arrousal without doing nothing, just looking the video and not touching my dick,, i looked porn for like 30min 1 hour everyday without doing nothing for like 1-2 weeks,

                and when i decided to touch myself a bit it actualy didnt changed nothing, i could feel the urge to cum in a few second at the smallest stroke...

                I dont realy know, i though that approach would be the righ thing as its the most logical in my opinion, just expose to a stimuli and change the response to it , i failed at it, let me know if it work for you

                Comment


                • #9
                  Do you kegel while being aroused?
                  Starting Stats: BPEL:6.4" MEG: 4.5" (18/02/2018)
                  Current: BPEL:7.0" MEG 4.6" (25/08/2018)
                  Goal: BPEL 7.5"+ MEG: 5"+
                  Check out my progress log: https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...-my-stick.html

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by latuda View Post
                    i tryed that approach, to just look porn and handle the high arrousal without doing nothing, just looking the video and not touching my dick,, i looked porn for like 30min 1 hour everyday without doing nothing for like 1-2 weeks,
                    But why didn't you touch yourself while watching? Watching and acting on it is a big difference in my opinion
                    Progress Log: 45 Days: Angion Method & Fordyce Spots
                    https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...yce-spots.html

                    07/02/18: 6,9 x 4,9
                    08/16/18: ? x ?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Had a very great and motivating experience last night!

                      Went to a bar and talked to this girl, then we found a dark corner in the bar and made out. I took her hand and lead her in my pants, where she slowly started to stroke it. Later, she took it out and sucked it! Damn, I couldn't believe that was happening in the bar next to other people, what an experience! My first reaction when she sucked it was "okay, now pls don't cum instantly", but I turned out to be fine! I was pretty drunk, thats for sure, but still - while she sucked I kept myself calm, I was breathing slowly and deeply and I was just relaxed (didn't even cum).

                      Granted, alcohol played a big part in that. But still. I've had encounters where I would finish fast even though I was drunk. I'll take that as a positive experience that I can build upon!
                      soon2bhuge
                      Senior Member
                      Last edited by soon2bhuge; 09-09-2018, 05:18 AM.
                      Progress Log: 45 Days: Angion Method & Fordyce Spots
                      https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...yce-spots.html

                      07/02/18: 6,9 x 4,9
                      08/16/18: ? x ?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by soon2bhuge View Post
                        I'll take that as a positive experience that I can build upon!
                        Glad to hear! I believe a big part of this is also confidence and breaking out of the pre-e loop. About 6-8 months ago I had an unexplained day where I could last as long as I wanted, I have no idea why. This gave me confidence and that happened a few more times where I could control my arousal, and then I don't know what happened but I was back to square one.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by soon2bhuge View Post
                          Had a very great and motivating experience last night!

                          Went to a bar and talked to this girl, then we found a dark corner in the bar and made out. I took her hand and lead her in my pants, where she slowly started to stroke it. Later, she took it out and sucked it! Damn, I couldn't believe that was happening in the bar next to other people, what an experience! My first reaction when she sucked it was "okay, now pls don't cum instantly", but I turned out to be fine! I was pretty drunk, thats for sure, but still - while she sucked I kept myself calm, I was breathing slowly and deeply and I was just relaxed (didn't even cum).

                          Granted, alcohol played a big part in that. But still. I've had encounters where I would finish fast even though I was drunk. I'll take that as a positive experience that I can build upon!
                          I was going to respond to your initial post, but you've hit the nail on the head (no pun) in this post. There's a pyysiological effect that takes place when you're about to cum. Your heart rate increases, breathing increases, etc. You would be much better off learning to meditate and calm your thoughts and breathing. Yoga also helps.

                          This is why you hear of tantric sex that can go on for hours.
                          Original/Current Stats:
                          09 / 2017: BPEL 6.75" / NBPEL 6" / MEG 4.75" / BPFSL 7.25"
                          09 / 2019: BPEL 7.625" / NBPEL 6.625" / MEG 5" / BPFSL 8.125"

                          Realistic Goals:
                          BPEL 8" / NBPEL 7.0" / MEG 5.25"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Actually, I've been meditating for some time now and I really love it, makes my days 200% better. Thats why I'm very confident that I can eventually master managing my arousal!
                            Progress Log: 45 Days: Angion Method & Fordyce Spots
                            https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...yce-spots.html

                            07/02/18: 6,9 x 4,9
                            08/16/18: ? x ?

                            Comment

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