PE comes straight back with new partners.

[SharkRotator]

Well, here we are. After causing myself months of stress and obsessive thoughts about PE, I said fuck it. I stopped worrying about it. I can't tell if it's a pyschosomatic or neurological thing. I fixed my APT, I stopped holding tension in my pelvic floor by utilizing my abs more, I just relaxed and enjoyed myself, and I USUALLY last a decent amount of time with my girlfriend. I still had some random times where I was totally in control and came when I wanted, but I stopped trying to figure out what made that happen.

Anxiety seems to purvey its own issues. With my girlfriend or any longtime partner, I could NEVER cum from a blowjob. It would feel great, but I never felt even close to cumming. In the last two times I hooked up with chicks I came from head basically as soon as my penis became erect (yup, it started off with me soft). This time, I even took propanolol (a beta-blocker for physical anxiety that was prescribed to me) and while I wasn't nervous in my head or clenching anything, I still ejaculated.

But yeah. It seems when it's hard for me to get erect I'm also more prone to cumming fast, I'm sure that's old news for us all. But with my GF I usually have no issue getting hard. I guess this is just a rant because this issue is so irritating. Don't know if I should get my blood levels checked (for cortisol? testosterone?) or if I should see a "sex therapist," whatever that is. But...sigh. Fuck my dick.

[bigplayre]

You sound extremely anxious and frustrated. I think your anxiety definitely has a big role in your performance. Talk with a therapist and try to find the root cause of it and how you can get past it.

[WillGetBetter]

Do you feel like your pelvic floor is always loose and flexible? When I was in the first month of training to fix my PreE, there were days when I had control and then all the sudden I would lose it again. Over time, I finally figured out that if I worked out and stopped stretching my core and pelvic floor muscles, everything would tighten up again and I wouldn’t be able to RK.

Do you RK during sex or oral sex?

[SharkRotator]

@WillGetBetter I didn't even think of it, I wasn't in my head much. When I tried to RK before during sex, it would take me to PONR, like I really could not return, more than regular kegels.

What I've been trying recently is to have some light tension in my abs throughout the day, for reasons beyond PE. Though I know it could be helpful for this issue as well. I just read andrewvi7's recent post talking about light RK's throughout the day, while my ab tension does relax my PF a bit I think doing it from his viewpoint could help relax it more.

But to be honest, I have little point of reference if it is loose or tight. It doesn't feel tight, but not overly relaxed either. It feels the same as it usually has felt.

@bigplayre I get that a lot when I post online, although I don't feel as it's that bad. Thank you for the insight, good to get an outside perspective.

[WillGetBetter]

Now that my pelvic floor is loose, I can really tell the difference from back when it was tight. But, at the beginning it was difficult to feel that it was tight because I had no reference. I assumed it was tight because I had PreE and RK weren’t effective at reducing my arousal or dropping my erection.

You may be on to something when you said you try to RK and it sends you to the PONR. I’ve read that a few times in the PreE forum recently. Maybe when the pelvic floor is tight when you try to RK, it causes something more like a kegel, like you said. I know for me when I was locked up, I could not RK. It felt like I was pushing up against an immovable wall.

You may want to stretch your pelvic floor every day for a month or two. I liked the happy baby pose, Hindi squat, Hindi squat with legs further apart and rock over each foot, Hindi squat with back on floor and feet up on a wall, butterfly, reverse hurdler, child’s pose, etc. There are some good pelvic floor stretches on YouTube.

Also, what position are your hips in during sex or oral sex? Is your pelvic floor pulled tight by some lingering APT?

[Paul789]

yes, could be some lingering apt or some other tilt on your pelvis. An osteopath could help you with this. Remember, even always carrying a wallet in your back pocket can tilt your pelvis.
Are your glutes strong? If not this can put a tension on your PF.

[Big Al]

Excitement and low level anxiety con trigger premature ejaculation. Further down the scale of anxiety the premature ejaculation can be instantaneous, and may conclude in a non-pleasurable ejaculation accompanied by erectile issues.

Since you do acknowledge there's a psychological component to it, don't stress out over it! You can always rest and allow yourself to get erect again to perform. In subsequent sessions you'll get used to your new partner and you'll reestablish full control.

[SharkRotator]

Now that my pelvic floor is loose, I can really tell the difference from back when it was tight. But, at the beginning it was difficult to feel that it was tight because I had no reference. I assumed it was tight because I had PreE and RK weren’t effective at reducing my arousal or dropping my erection.

You may be on to something when you said you try to RK and it sends you to the PONR. I’ve read that a few times in the PreE forum recently. Maybe when the pelvic floor is tight when you try to RK, it causes something more like a kegel, like you said. I know for me when I was locked up, I could not RK. It felt like I was pushing up against an immovable wall.

You may want to stretch your pelvic floor every day for a month or two. I liked the happy baby pose, Hindi squat, Hindi squat with legs further apart and rock over each foot, Hindi squat with back on floor and feet up on a wall, butterfly, reverse hurdler, child’s pose, etc. There are some good pelvic floor stretches on YouTube.

Also, what position are your hips in during sex or oral sex? Is your pelvic floor pulled tight by some lingering APT?

The immovable wall thing...hmmm. When i do the usual ab tension/rk throughout the day it always feels like pushing against a solid object. I assumed this was normal. I feel like i’m pushing against a solid, with my ass opening a bit like taking a dump (excuse the imagery). If i focus on the front it’s not much different except a slight feeling of pushing out pee. The thing is, this feeling does give a slight feeling of release, not a strain.

Back when I did daily hindi squats and followed 30min pelvic floor release video, it did not end well. I couldn’t maintain erection, was difficult to muster up a weak one, much less last during sex/masturbation.
Once i stopped my erections got better over time.

I’m sure my oral sex issue is entirely psychological/somatic. With past partners and my gf, i never felt like i was going to cum, ever. With the last two new girls, I came as soon as I could get a weak erection, first standing (my best position), then sitting. i’m sure that was pure anxiety...what bugs me is that my beta-blocker was no help in my last encounter, despite me feeling consciously relaxed.

yes, could be some lingering apt or some other tilt on your pelvis. An osteopath could help you with this. Remember, even always carrying a wallet in your back pocket can tilt your pelvis.
Are your glutes strong? If not this can put a tension on your PF.

Not sure about glute strength. Last year my squat weight and endurance was stellar, but my lasting time was miserable. Still had severe APT at the time though.

You think osteopath is the best route? I’ve been contemplating a general physical therapist, or a “sex therapist” as i found on a google search the night i made the OP. Never heard of an osteopath. I know i have some imbalance on the right and left sides of my hips and lower back. Went to a chiropractor a few months ago and brushed off my remaining APT, said I have some minor forward leaning posture, which I’ve corrected atleast the shoulder aspect. An osteopath could help my hip (and maybe forward posture) imbalances? Thanks for the insight BTW.