what to do at ponr?

**ted22** · 01-03-2019

Hi guys,

Sometimes when i reach PONR during an edging session, i have to be very careful and slow with the strokes as overdoing it can set me to ejaculate. When edging, should i aim to stay at this high arousal state as long as possible or let the arousal/erection drop and continue to edge once it's settled.

I read a post on a thread saying you need to push through that boundary.

Also, when you feel IK come, how do you battle them? For me, when an IK happens, i have to let it happen and then continue afterwards. when i try to RK against it, nothing happens.

THanks

**TheZZMan** · 01-03-2019

Several approaches come to mind, you decipher which is the best path.

One - continue doing what you have been. It hasn't worked yet and most likely won't in the future.

Two - start stop method which only teaches you to stop when you sense the PONR. Not very sexy to have to stop every time you get excited during an actual sexual encounter with a partner.

Three - and this is the one you eluded to, push the envelope hard during edging. Afterall, you are training. Go at the PONR and try different things to try to get past them. Yes, you will fail multiple times. You will fail more times than success, but the key is to listen to your body, try different things and eventually you will learn to manage this sensation. For me, it is a neutral pelvic floor and a sense of calm, even though I am excited, that helps me get through. I can not edge for hours and have transferred that knowledge to the bedroom for prolonged activities with the wife. Currently, a quickie is something that takes around a half hour.

**ted22** · 01-04-2019

So currently, i'll do 20-30 strokes and immediately be at PONR. So it's a lot of stop/starting at the moment. Any tips?

If i get excited or think sexual thoughts, it's almost game over. I try to force a RK but when i put my finger tips on my PC muscle and RK at PONR, the muscle is so hard that i can't even feel the RK happening. do you feel the pelvic floor drop?

**WillGetBetter** · 01-06-2019

Hey ted -
Does your pelvic floor always feel tight? Are there any times that your reverse kegels work? It took me 4-6 weeks of daily stretching, tennis ball massage, and reverse kegel training to be able to do them consistently. Then it was a lot of playing around with reverse kegels during edging to figure out how to make them work, how hard to do them, how often to do them, etc. For the first few weeks, I had to go at a very slow stroke rate, maybe 1 stroke every 5 seconds. I would breathe into my belly, do a reverse kegel, and then do one stroke up and down with the fleshlight.

**TheZZMan** · 01-06-2019

Not sure how to state this, but learn your body. Try things during edging that you normally would not. Try to starve off that desire to ejac immediately and gain control over your IK's. I know, easier said than done, but I did it, countless others have also, it is you against your sensations. The more you do it, the more you try to combat, the more likely you will come to an understanding of your body clues and how to reach past them. Train, train hard, fail and learn from each fail. While you don't understand now, it will work long term. Training takes time and discipline. Treat it as a training exercise and a learning experience and you will move forward.

**ted22** · 01-09-2019

Hey WillGetBetter,
Generally yes, I'm working on pelvic exercises and stretching. My connection to RK is easy when I'm not masturbating but when I'm training with the fleshlight it's difficult to RK. They haven't really worked.
I'm going to try and improve my ability to RK with the exercises and stretching and then see if that makes any difference in my fleshlight edging.

Do you guys think i should distract my mind while edging?

**WillGetBetter** · 01-11-2019

Originally Posted by ted22

Hey WillGetBetter,
Generally yes, I'm working on pelvic exercises and stretching. My connection to RK is easy when I'm not masturbating but when I'm training with the fleshlight it's difficult to RK. They haven't really worked.
I'm going to try and improve my ability to RK with the exercises and stretching and then see if that makes any difference in my fleshlight edging.

Do you guys think i should distract my mind while edging?

Can you reverse kegel with your body in the same position as when you edge - but when you are not edging? I ask because I had a hard time RK’ing with my body in certain positions. I realized that in those positions, I had my pelvic floor very tight. Also, I noticed that if I had an arch (or inward dip) in my lower back, I could not RK. So, I played around with rotating my hips so my lower back flattened and also holding my body in certain positions without tightening my pelvic floor. I even found that when my legs, feet, knees were in certain positions, my pelvic floor would tighten, and I couldn’t RK.