My Action Plan Journal

**AManWithAPlan2** · 01-22-2019

Edging Update 01.22.19:

Edging was great today. Just set my goal to lightly and slowly edge for 25 minutes with as few IKs as possible while still looking for that pleasurable feeling, and I pretty much achieved that goal. Took at least 5 minutes to build up an erection, but I did it without any IKs. Then from there just took it easy and slow. Probably had about 3 IKs total. Arousal was really under control today, I even felt like I could identify levels of arousal better than before. It was a lot of just relaxation and then just trying to notice and observe what was happening. Felt like I could better use the RK as a competing response when I felt an arousal spike. I had my Breathe+ app running the whole time so I was reminded to keep a steady pace of breathing. I would say the only downside is that I didn't experience much pleasure throughout, though that was a secondary goal after making sure I was controlling any IKs. One noteworthy change for me this week is maybe a bit of a mindset shift. I read an article about a subset of couples who have used "orgasmless" sex to rejuvenate their sex lives, and maybe it just reinforced for me that the male body is capable of enjoying sex without ejaculation. Not that I'd necessarily want that or be aiming for that, but that it's totally within the realm of possibility for the male body to do that. So I'm thinking that idea may have planted a seed in my mind that allowed me let go of thinking of ejaculation and orgasm today while edging.

**AManWithAPlan2** · 01-23-2019

Edging Update 01.23.19

Less than stellar edging today. Pushed it too fast and too much stim. on the underside where my IK response goes crazy. It's not that I had a ton of IKs, it's just that I think I had less control over my arousal and I was paying less attention to it as well. I knew in my head that I need to be starting out really slow, but I think I just wanted to see if I could get to plateau by pushing a little faster and more intensely. I got impatient and wondered if maybe my muscle memory with RKs was good enough to sustain more direct and intense edging. It seems like it's not. So back to taking it really slow and working on ramping up arousal very gently to make sure my brain starts creating that new neural pathway.

**AManWithAPlan2** · 01-25-2019

Edging Update 01.25.19

Felt amazing today. It was totally a struggle for the first ten minutes. Plenty of that rising feeling of anticipation of orgasm, the chemical dump of anxiety, I had to do a couple hard kegels when I was getting close to PONR. But then after that, I started to find a rhythm and as I felt the anxiety going away, I noticed that if I focus on tilting my pelvis forward and utilizing the glutes a bit more like in the APT work I've been doing, and then focus on relaxing my stomach area, and pushing a mild RK, I was able to feel some really good feelings without feeling like I was going over the edge. Ended up finishing out the first 25 minutes and just rolled right into another 25 minutes. Never did I think I would be able to do that, so I am very pleased and feeling like I'm on the right track with the stretching and exercises and edging.

**WillGetBetter** · 01-26-2019

Great progress. Those first few minutes can be tough. Nice work fighting through it. I believe over time, you will find that the time it takes you to feel in control will occur earlier and earlier in your edging sessions (and during real sex).

I’m sure you know this, but be ready for sex with your wife to be more challenging. There will be more stimuli for arousal, you won’t have complete control of the speed, you may forget to breathe, etc. But, I have a lot of confidence that you will figure this all out over time. You have already made progress, you’re organized, and you’re motivated.

Keep up the great work!

**AManWithAPlan2** · 01-27-2019

Originally Posted by WillGetBetter

Great progress. Those first few minutes can be tough. Nice work fighting through it. I believe over time, you will find that the time it takes you to feel in control will occur earlier and earlier in your edging sessions (and during real sex).

I’m sure you know this, but be ready for sex with your wife to be more challenging. There will be more stimuli for arousal, you won’t have complete control of the speed, you may forget to breathe, etc. But, I have a lot of confidence that you will figure this all out over time. You have already made progress, you’re organized, and you’re motivated.

Keep up the great work!

Thank you! Thanks for all your input man, it's really helpful. I'm kind of figuring little to none of my training will translate to sex until I get further into the STU work. But I'm also going to talk with my wife to see if we can try taking things real slow so I can try to keep control of my arousal. Hopefully that helps the process.

**Paul789** · 01-27-2019

Hi, I just read all your posts. I think you are doing really well, I'm a massive supporter of tennis ball massage, you can build this up so it really penetrates the muscle.
Just one thing I noticed you said you do planks until the max. Is this until you get 'muscle shakes?'. I had to stop doing this exercise initially as these shakes are your nervous system kicking in which means your muscles will be tensing as this happens. I did other core work that would give no muscle tension.
However, if they seem to be working for you and you are making progress them great! 😎

**AManWithAPlan2** · 01-28-2019

Originally Posted by Paul789

Hi, I just read all your posts. I think you are doing really well, I'm a massive supporter of tennis ball massage, you can build this up so it really penetrates the muscle.
Just one thing I noticed you said you do planks until the max. Is this until you get 'muscle shakes?'. I had to stop doing this exercise initially as these shakes are your nervous system kicking in which means your muscles will be tensing as this happens. I did other core work that would give no muscle tension.
However, if they seem to be working for you and you are making progress them great! 

Ya along with the tennis ball massage, I've been using a small heating pad to help relax the muscles before I use the tennis ball, and it's amazing how much more it relaxes and stretches out (Obviously keeping the boys away from the heating pad so we're not killing any swimmers).

As far as the planks go, you're point is well taken. I have noticed more tense muscles after doing this exercise, but because I do the APT exercises (planks included) before my Pelvic Floor stretching (which includes Hindi Squat which I feel great effects from) the muscles seem to relax pretty easily. But I'll keep an eye on it.

**AManWithAPlan2** · 01-28-2019

Edging Update 01.27.19

Edging went pretty poorly. Again, I got overconfident and decided to break out the STU and then ended up ejaculating (couldn't hold it back with Kegel) when I wasn't planning to. It's good I'm writing these down because I'm forced to look at the pattern of what I do when I start to get a little success; I try too much too quickly thinking maybe I've magically cured it, but that of course is not the case. Hopefully I've learned the lesson this time.

**AManWithAPlan2** · 01-28-2019

End of Week 2 Update:

Screen Shot 2019-01-28 at 8.28.59 AM.jpg

Week 2 was great over all. I feel like I'm on the right track. I know myself and my tendencies with goal setting, so I'm going to make sure I do everything I can to get most of my boxes checked for Week 3 as my motivation tends to wane after two weeks of any goal I set out to accomplish. Definitely still in the baby steps phase of this, but I do feel like I can see the way forward and I'm feeling the most positive I've ever been about this being fixable.

Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me through this and have given me great advice and feedback!