My Action Plan Journal

[TimeALWAYStells]

Just wanted to say good luck on your journey. I enjoy reading your log because it's well written, organized, and helps me relate. I'm going down the same path doing a similar routine and although it's early I have some hope that there's at least light at the end of the tunnel. Keep up the good work consistently and just take things one day at a time.

[AManWithAPlan2]

Just wanted to say good luck on your journey. I enjoy reading your log because it's well written, organized, and helps me relate. I'm going down the same path doing a similar routine and although it's early I have some hope that there's at least light at the end of the tunnel. Keep up the good work consistently and just take things one day at a time.

Thanks man, like I said on your thread, it's good knowing there's other guys out there working hard at this too.

[AManWithAPlan2]

Just wanted to post this picture here as a reminder to myself and others that results just won't happen overnight 99.99% of the time. I'm abandoning the "microwave" way of thinking about this problem and fully committed to the long road.

show-up-every-day-two-years.jpg

[AManWithAPlan2]

Week 4 Update:

Week 4.jpg

Gotta do better in Week 5.

5 minute later update: I've always had a weird hang up about failing. I've always been afraid of trying really hard and then failing at whatever it was. I did it in school, done it in relationships, I've done it and now currently am doing it in my career, and I'm sure part of my avoidance of doing a better job on my training these past two weeks is that I'm afraid of how bad it will feel if I give this 100% and it doesn't work. I gotta push through that fear this week and just stop worrying about the results, and instead just focus on taking the actions.

[WillGetBetter]

Week 4 Update:

Week 4.jpg

Gotta do better in Week 5.

5 minute later update: I've always had a weird hang up about failing. I've always been afraid of trying really hard and then failing at whatever it was. I did it in school, done it in relationships, I've done it and now currently am doing it in my career, and I'm sure part of my avoidance of doing a better job on my training these past two weeks is that I'm afraid of how bad it will feel if I give this 100% and it doesn't work. I gotta push through that fear this week and just stop worrying about the results, and instead just focus on taking the actions.

Seems like that’s been affecting you for a while. Any thoughts on talking with a therapist about it? I did that in grad school and learned some really good coping mechanisms that I still go to when I’m fearing failure now. But, I have to say that my natural go to thing when I fear failure is to get pissed off and really put everything I have into it. It’s not always the healthiest approach and not sustainable- but sometimes it does pay off.

It would be easy for me to tell you to go for it and not care what happens. But, that doesn’t sound like something that works for you. Not like you need something else to work on, but maybe you should try to fix the fear of failure avoidance issue. I could then pay off by helping you fix your preE.

Looking at your training spreadsheet. I’d say ramp that edging up to every day. I think it will pay off for you. Good luck, man.

[AManWithAPlan2]

Seems like that’s been affecting you for a while. Any thoughts on talking with a therapist about it? I did that in grad school and learned some really good coping mechanisms that I still go to when I’m fearing failure now. But, I have to say that my natural go to thing when I fear failure is to get pissed off and really put everything I have into it. It’s not always the healthiest approach and not sustainable- but sometimes it does pay off.

It would be easy for me to tell you to go for it and not care what happens. But, that doesn’t sound like something that works for you. Not like you need something else to work on, but maybe you should try to fix the fear of failure avoidance issue. I could then pay off by helping you fix your preE.

Looking at your training spreadsheet. I’d say ramp that edging up to every day. I think it will pay off for you. Good luck, man.

Ya I've considered talking with a therapist. Perhaps I need to at this point.

[AManWithAPlan2]

Edging Update 02.12.19

Switched to the STU today. Based off of my own body's feedback, I've decided to jump into the STU work. I'm not suggesting that this is what everyone should do, but for me where I'm at right now, it seemed like the best option to just jump in and start working on fighting the IKs and pelvic tightness by using the STU so as to more closely mimic the experience of sex. Today was brutal. I spent the majority of the time in the STU just not moving at all. Even when I would move it slightly, my muscles would twitch. Focused on breathing slowly while trying to keep a relaxed PF. When I would calm everything down, it became difficult to keep it hard, which indicates to me the reality that like so many others, I don't have a full arousal bandwidth, just no/low arousal and then all the way up at 9-10. When I would move the STU up and down the shaft, it would honestly take 15 seconds for a down stroke or up stroke. Definitely have my work cut out for me. My plan for edging moving forward is to make sure I'm using the STU each week day with the goal of eliminating IKs during each session. That doesn't mean it will be a full edging session, it might mean just putting it in and staying still for a few minutes and then moving on with my day. The hope is that the regular use will get me accustomed to the enveloping sensations that the STU provides.

[AManWithAPlan2]

Life Update

Well it looks like the last time I updated my log was 4 months ago. Life got a little complicated for me in March when I lost my job and had to begin figuring out what to do next, so my PreE work fell by the wayside by and large. I truly do wish I had made time to keep this as a part of my day. However I did continue to keep an eye on my IKs, my arousal during sex, and my ability to use RKs to reduce my erections (which I think is a great indicator of your ability to be under control btw), as well as engage in the occasional low key edging session in the shower without ejaculation. What's interesting is that about a month ago, I lasted for two minutes in sex for the first time ever. Now I know for many, that's truly nothing, but for me it was a total shock and gave me hope that the ground work I had laid earlier this year and the little bit of understanding I had gained through getting in touch with my own arousal and body could really be the key to fixing this. I began working out again for the last two weeks, which unfortunately tightened up my pelvic floor and caused me to experienced that awful sensitivity and quick arousal again that had been gone for a few months, so I've decided to get back to this in a modified way that can still fit in with my busy work schedule.

[AManWithAPlan2]

Back at it.

Super bummed out that I didn't stick to my plan from the beginning of this year. Still can't last more than 30 seconds during sex, still pretty sure I haven't figured out a full RK experience yet, and edging is always just a bummer. I spent some time reading back through others' logs where they've had success, and I just realize I haven't had the same grit they've had to stick with it even when it sucks and doesn't seem to be working. So I know what I gotta do, and I'm here now ready to restart and get back at it.

I made some adjustments to my 90 day plan and started it over last week, so I'm now in week two. I'm doing heavy (1-2 hours+) tennis ball massage 5 days a week, back to doing about 15 minutes of APT work, and working in Hindi squats throughout the day as my PF stretches. Aiming to get 5 edging sessions in during the week. Taking Sunday completely off from anything. Here's my Week 1 results.

Screen Shot 2019-11-15 at 12.34.30 PM.jpg

[ACPreE]

Goodluck.

Really work on the fixing of APT. That will help so much. I have a workout i'm doing for core/ab and its helped tremendously. Really puts into perspective the importance of fixing the muscle imbalances.

I worked Edging Stretching and RKs for months and it wasn't until i added the workout into the mix that everything fell into place.