Extreme case of PE for over 7 years

[doesntmatter Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close doesntmatter]

Trying to make 1 last ditch effort before I give up on trying to cure this. I am 25 now and have never been able to ask out a girl because of this.

I have been doing kegels for 7 years, I have been on this website throughout that time and have followed the instructions on several of these threads, I have bought books that don't add much more information than what is available on websites like this, and nothing has helped.. Arousal control is not the problem, I have been edging for 7 years trying to fix that, but nothing changes, I just end up starting and stopping every 10 seconds with no improvement. Focusing on breathing does nothing but prevent me from passing out due to lack of oxygen. I was doing PE for several years and bought a bath mate, as I heard that can help, but it's hard to be consistent with that when you will never get to use it.

What can be done for severe cases like this? Are there any pills that have worked in anyone's experience? Surgery?

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

My recommendation is to avoid the pills, creams, and surgeries. From what I understand, 99% is junk, and isn't really going to help you. What most likely will help you and give you a path to move forward is researching and learning from other PEGym members who have accomplished what we all want: last during sex.

I recommend you search for and start reading all the progress threads and success posts of these following PEGym members:

Drummer19 - https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...solutions.html

ammonite - https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...ml#post1274750

iceclimber - https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...aculation.html

25yr - https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...ive-guide.html

Jam2397 - https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...y-jam2397.html

WillGetBetter - https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...provement.html

I've read through many of the discussions in this forum, and for the most part, I've looked for the quick way out of this too, but when you really examine what these guys did to overcome it, you realize it was research, creating a plan, and then relentlessly and consistently executing that plan that eventually got each of them to overcome PreE.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

By the way, I specifically searched for and found these guys because you'll see they all struggled to last more than a minute or two, which is what I consider to be real PreE.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Last thought: I'm 29, had PreE since I can remember, married, and just now really buckling down to fix this. You're only 25 with currently no pressure to please a woman. You've got all the time in the world to fix this. Do the research and then do the hard work to become the man you're supposed to be and then get out there and start dating. You can do this, man.

Oh and drop those Kegels, that's part of our pelvic floor imbalance problem. You'll see when you start reading through these threads.

[doesntmatter Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close doesntmatter]

Last thought: I'm 29, had PreE since I can remember, married, and just now really buckling down to fix this. You're only 25 with currently no pressure to please a woman. You've got all the time in the world to fix this. Do the research and then do the hard work to become the man you're supposed to be and then get out there and start dating. You can do this, man.

Oh and drop those Kegels, that's part of our pelvic floor imbalance problem. You'll see when you start reading through these threads.

Thanks, I'll give those a read. I feel like I have put in about as much research as I can, and I realize there is always more to learn here and there, but I have been on this site since I was 18 trying to work this out. Forgot my username so I just made this one.

You are right, 25 is young, but I am already starting to go bald and I'm pretty sure it will be and the point where I will have to shave it all off before I can fix this, and that really stresses me out. That is pretty much the initiation of becoming an old man.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Thanks, I'll give those a read. I feel like I have put in about as much research as I can, and I realize there is always more to learn here and there, but I have been on this site since I was 18 trying to work this out. Forgot my username so I just made this one.

You are right, 25 is young, but I am already starting to go bald and I'm pretty sure it will be and the point where I will have to shave it all off before I can fix this, and that really stresses me out. That is pretty much the initiation of becoming an old man.

Plenty of bald dudes out there gettin laid all the time. But if you're lacking confidence in general, I can tell you from personal experience: eating better, losing weight, putting on some muscle mass, buying new clothes that fit well, getting outdoors everyday, reading a book a month, and picking a hobby you really enjoy and can get good at can be real life changers. Those things don't happen overnight, but they do happen pretty quickly when you write out a detailed plan and then stick to it.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Once you put a plan together and post your initial results, I’d be happy to help if I can. Good luck!

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

All those guys mentioned above have a progress log where others posted and helped them .

I remember working with some of them myself .

Without a progress log it really is hard to know what you have done and how you have done it .

[Paul789 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Paul789]

If you have premature ejaculation then kegels are the worst thing you could do, totally counter-productive. Your aim should be relaxing and releasing all tension from the PF.

[Paul789 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Paul789]

oh but to answer your question, 'if' you did try pills, for some 5mg of cialis can really help as this can have the same effect as an alpha blocker in that it can relax the muscles around the pelvis/bladder.

[caliboy415 Member Find all posts View Profile Close caliboy415]

TL;DR: Consistency is key. After that identify issues

Create a plan and stick with it. If you need a confidence booster then go with a desensitizing cream/spray or whatever but DO NOT become dependent on it. The only reason I tried it was because my gf suggested it (definitely hurt my ego). My gf doesn't like foreplay and prefers penetrative stimulation to clitoral, tough for a guy that struggles with controlling his ejaculation ha. Anyways I've progressed a lot in my 18ish months on this site but am not to where I want to be. It's a long battle but consistency is key. I just re-read my progress thread and noticed that I would make improvements, see results, get too confident and then regress ha. Listen to input from the more senior members as they've helped A LOT of men overcome their PE. While there isn't one cure-all method there are multiple angles to attack PreE.

Other than kegels and edging, what else have you done? What sort of kegel routine were you following? Any RKs? Do you have IKs as you edge/are stimulated? How long do you edge for? Lube or no lube? Have you tried a STU?.......This is why a progress log is important, it will help others (and yourself) see what has/has not worked for you/

[doesntmatter Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close doesntmatter]

TL;DR: Consistency is key. After that identify issues

Create a plan and stick with it. If you need a confidence booster then go with a desensitizing cream/spray or whatever but DO NOT become dependent on it. The only reason I tried it was because my gf suggested it (definitely hurt my ego). My gf doesn't like foreplay and prefers penetrative stimulation to clitoral, tough for a guy that struggles with controlling his ejaculation ha. Anyways I've progressed a lot in my 18ish months on this site but am not to where I want to be. It's a long battle but consistency is key. I just re-read my progress thread and noticed that I would make improvements, see results, get too confident and then regress ha. Listen to input from the more senior members as they've helped A LOT of men overcome their PE. While there isn't one cure-all method there are multiple angles to attack PreE.

Other than kegels and edging, what else have you done? What sort of kegel routine were you following? Any RKs? Do you have IKs as you edge/are stimulated? How long do you edge for? Lube or no lube? Have you tried a STU?.......This is why a progress log is important, it will help others (and yourself) see what has/has not worked for you/

I've been doing kegels and reverse kegels for seven years, I used to do them 4 days a week, but it has been more like 2 days a week for the past few years since they haven't been working. Never tried the tennis ball thing, as I figured that was more beneficial to people who are just starting out with kegels and are struggling to activate the muscles. Wouldn't hurt to try it I guess.

yes IK's happen sometimes, but even when they don't happen I am lucky to last a minute. When I was 18 I would IK the whole time, but now they don't happen often, only when I make no effort whatsoever to control it.

I just edge as long as I can last for, which is about a 1:1 ratio of stimulation to resting, usually 10 seconds on and then 10 seconds off, and that is if I am going very slow. Like 3-4 seconds on, 10 seconds rest if I try to go somewhat fast.

I bought a STU 6 years ago, used that for a couple years about two thirds of the time I would spank it, but saw no improvement, and then got tired of the hassle of using it.

All I've learned from reading those other users posts was to just worry about reverse kegels (or no kegels at all), and not to worry about regular kegels. I have been doing them evenly for the most part of 7 years.

I don't know what there is to add to a plan that I haven't already been doing. Is it just a journal where you write your progress down? That would only be depressing in my case as there is no progress. If anything it has only gotten worse. I guess the value in it would be when I use this forum you guys can see what I have been claiming to do?

Apparently it is not always curable, so I am starting to move into the direction that I am a part of that minority. What desensitizing cream did you use? I have tried a couple supplements that did not do anything, so I have been leery of spending more money on products for this.

[Paul789 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Paul789]

Of course it is curable. You have muscle tension and so you have to find out why you have it and then the best way to release it. You could have it due to
posture
walking gait
not releasing (after masturbation/lifting weights etc)
stomach sucking
tight leg muscles
tight flexors
tilted pelvis
too much sitting

the list goes on.

and then you need to work on the cause and start releasing tension, by

massage
myofascial release
trigger point therapy
pelvic drops
meditation
stretching

etc

[Paul789 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Paul789]

also, i forgot but glute medius strength is important. Weakness here can destabilize the pelvis and cause hip pain(so often wrongly disagnosed by doctors as bursitis)
Also, make sure you walk heel to toe.

My point being PFD is a whole body issue.

[caliboy415 Member Find all posts View Profile Close caliboy415]

I agree with Paul789, it's a matter of identifying what is causing PreE. Even those with sensitive parts have found ways to develop control.

Try the tennis ball massage out. I thought I didn't have a tight pelvic floor until I literally stuck my fingers and felt the area as I was edging. I thought I was RKin but it wasn't enough and I was still getting Iks. I then tried the tennis ball massage and I could handle a lot more intensity as I edged.

Have you tried ballooning? When I first started edging I could not get past how much I had to stop, it felt like 30 sec on 30 sec off for 10 minutes. I was adding time but not making improvements with start/stop. I was getting very frustrated. One day I was just playing around with myself while watching tv and that's kinda what made edging click in my head for me. I was unknowingly ballooning at the time.

As far as starting a journal how you want to run it is up to you. I'd say start with where you're at, what you've tried, etc. (kinda what you've done in this post) and then add what routine you're going to follow. Check the must read stickies as there are lots of routines you can follow there. It'll be up to you what kind you want to run, whether it be 50/50 Kegel/RK, no Kegel, meditative breathing, edging, etc. In addition to a routine I'd try and change other aspects of your life such as diet and exercise (not only to help with PreE but to improve overall quality of life).

Once you've developed a plan and routine then I would ask for input. Don't ask someone to do the work for you and you'll be set up for success.