Lost and hoping for guidance

[letsfixthis Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close letsfixthis]

Hi all,

I am 21 and have always been dealing with PE likely induced by a combo of porn quickies in the fear of being caught as well as some anxiety. I’ve been a reader here for a couple of years but I have gotten to the point where I need to take matters into my own hands so I figured I’d start a thread.

I see many different techniques mentioned in the stickies with kegels/rk/stretches but I just want a put together program I can follow to start solving this problem. If someone could direct me or help me create a program it would be much appreciated! Let me know if you need more information about my specific case to help with the type of program

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Hey letsfixthis,

Glad you’re on here looking for a solution. First, I will tell you that I had preE for 25 years. In Sept 2018, I found this site, read every sticky, read every account of the successful past members - and made a plan. I committed to doing daily work for six months. And, it actually worked. I went from lasting less than one minute to now going as long as my wife wants (which is usually 10-20 minutes).

You need to get hyper aware of what is happening in your body. The main physical reasons for preE are tight pelvic floor muscles and highly sensitive glans and frenulum. You mentioned that your anxiety may be causing your preE.. that might be a part of it - but what I found was once I worked on the physical issues, and I had some success - then my anxiety cleared up because I knew I could do it. I’m not sure if anxiety was really a cause for me. I think it was just a reaction to the disappointment and shame - but not a real cause.

Most successful plans for preE include:
1. Pelvic floor stretching and tennis ball massage
2. Learn to do and to use reverse kegels to keep your pelvic floor loose during sex and to lower your arousal
3. Edge with lube and a fleshlight. 20 minute sessions daily. Only ejaculate every 3rd or 4th day.
4. Quit porn. Let your arousal go back to a more natural and chilled out state. You don’t need so much stimulation right now.
5. Balloon to get your mind and body used to the intense feelings.
6. Learn to breathe from your diaphragm (belly). Learn to keep your arousal under control by relaxing your mind and body during sex. Don’t get caught up in sexual thoughts.

Here’s what worked for me:
https://www.pegym.com/forums/success...aculation.html

Here’s a current member who has a great plan:
https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...n-journal.html

You are going to need to write down an organized plan and stick to it. I will tell you, I wish I would have done this 25 years ago.

Good luck!