My PE Log

[Johnny D]

Log Entry: 06/2/19
Looks like no progress to report. Tried having sex last night. Lasted maybe 30 seconds after penetrating. I have no idea what to do. Iv been working on this with no improvements. I was relaxed, I was rking every thrust, I was going slow. I still got to ponr in seconds.

She was on her side and I felt good the first 10 thrusts staying at like 6 but then without warning thrust 11, let's say, took me to 8 then 12 took me to 9.5. Tried to kegel to stop myself from finished.

So tired of this. I dont know what else to do.

I know there are people who use the RK to delay ejaculation but, for me, it will actually get me closer. In fact, when I'm at a point where I need to, I can often RK hard enough to make it happen pretty quickly. For me, K's hold it off while RK's bring it on. What I'm trying to do with my PF muscles is nothing at all. I want to be totally relaxed the whole time - neither contracting nor expanding them. I do know that a light RK might help to relax the muscles in the event of an IK, but much more than that and it's just inviting the contraction, for me. I use RK's for stretching. K's to strengthen; RK's to loosen.

What are you working on when you edge? Do you have purpose? Are you focusing on keeping a completely relaxed PF the whole time? No K's, no RK's. Just neutral.

[ACPreE]

I know there are people who use the RK to delay ejaculation but, for me, it will actually get me closer. In fact, when I'm at a point where I need to, I can often RK hard enough to make it happen pretty quickly. For me, K's hold it off while RK's bring it on. What I'm trying to do with my PF muscles is nothing at all. I want to be totally relaxed the whole time - neither contracting nor expanding them. I do know that a light RK might help to relax the muscles in the event of an IK, but much more than that and it's just inviting the contraction, for me. I use RK's for stretching. K's to strengthen; RK's to loosen.

What are you working on when you edge? Do you have purpose? Are you focusing on keeping a completely relaxed PF the whole time? No K's, no RK's. Just neutral.

Thats what i would like, to just be able to maintain a neutral PF. While edging I try to just stay relaxed. When I feel my arousal start to climb, I RK and Lower belly breath and it normally knocks it down or slows it down pretty good. Last nights edging session was 30mins and only edged once in the middle. That's why i'm confused on how I can last 30mins edging but only 30 seconds during real sex.

Had it suggested to me that it maybe mental. My performance anxiety and the pressure to satisfy could be putting me in that fight or flight mode making me finish fast even though i'm relaxed.

Anyone have experience with overcoming the mental side of it?

[Anklepain]

Thats what i would like, to just be able to maintain a neutral PF. While edging I try to just stay relaxed. When I feel my arousal start to climb, I RK and Lower belly breath and it normally knocks it down or slows it down pretty good. Last nights edging session was 30mins and only edged once in the middle. That's why i'm confused on how I can last 30mins edging but only 30 seconds during real sex.

Had it suggested to me that it maybe mental. My performance anxiety and the pressure to satisfy could be putting me in that fight or flight mode making me finish fast even though i'm relaxed.

Anyone have experience with overcoming the mental side of it?

Last night Did you edge with porn or without?

[ACPreE]

Last night Did you edge with porn or without?

Without. Iv quit porn, the only thing close that iv been testing with was audio but didn't use that last night. I'm mixed feelings on the use of porn though. On one hand I don't want to have porn in my life anymore but on the other, if I need it to progress id do anything.

[ACPreE]

Log Entry: 6/4/19
Edging was going well again. Got to about 10mins before I decided I wanted to practice real arousal control. I added some porn into the mix. Yes I know I stopped but this was strickly for training purposes. I don't really understand the psychological affects of porn besides ED and i certainly don't have that lol.

Never the less, I added porn at about 10-12mins in and from that point on I was trying my hardest to control my breathing relax and rk. Made sure my pelvis was correct position and just completely relaxed no tension as much as possible. Edged about 10 times with about 15-30 second breaks between each edge. I really felt like this was helpful. That high level of arousal and trying to control it. I just need to start making and hitting some progress lines with my stamina. I have been stretching and exercising but not making changes in my time so if i need to drop the porn drought just for training my arousal then so be it.

I know people have said remove porn but how can I achieve higher levels of stimulation without visual or audio? Wouldn't practicing control with porn help if it helps you practice at higher arousal? Or does watching porn in itself rewire the brain in ways that wouldn't help me? Should I not have added Porn back into the mix?

[Johnny D]

Maybe your goal shouldn't be about trying to control ejaculation when you're highly aroused (that's what you're trying to do with porn) but should be about trying to control your arousal. I think that's the problem with adding porn into the edging.

You are aroused and stimulated by your GF's arousal and stimulation and you need to have more control over that. You're also aroused and stimulated by how sexy sex can be. You need to develop control over that, as well. When you go down on her or use your hands, and she's becoming aroused, do you think "OMG, this is so hot I could bust!"? No. You think, "Where is she feeling the sensation? How's the pressure and speed for her? Does she react when I rub her thigh, too?" Etc... Your mind is focused on the task of pleasing her and her response to the stimulation. Well... When you're inside her and she's becoming aroused, that's also where your mind needs to be. Not on, "Fuck, this is so great for me!". So... That should be your purpose when edging. Do your very best to imagine being with her and how you're pleasing her. Especially if you have a STU, try to make that STU feel good. That's your task in sex and, so, should be what you're practicing when edging. Instead, when you edge to porn, you're practicing the act of trying to work your way through being highly aroused.

Edge with purpose: To maintain a 100% relaxed PF while using your dick to stimulate your partner. No other focus but that.

[ACPreE]

Damn that is some good friggen advice man.

[ACPreE]

Log Entry: 6/5/19
Another great edging night went 20mins without an edge. Stayed very relaxed and was thinking and talking to myself (kinda weird to admit) as if we were having sex. After the first minute where the sensation is most intense, it felt like a plateau at 6-7 the rest of the way.

Maybe the physical aspect is pretty good now. Maybe the physical aspect wasnt too bad to begin with and it's been 80% mental this whole time.
Maybe the last 15 years of porn destroyed my mind.

Going to keep with the physical routine but really stress the mental aspect of it all. Like you said Johnny that connection is certainly lacking and I want to build that intamate connection and not just have sex to cum.

[Bobsadcock]

Log Entry: 6/5/19
Another great edging night went 20mins without an edge. Stayed very relaxed and was thinking and talking to myself (kinda weird to admit) as if we were having sex. After the first minute where the sensation is most intense, it felt like a plateau at 6-7 the rest of the way.

Maybe the physical aspect is pretty good now. Maybe the physical aspect wasnt too bad to begin with and it's been 80% mental this whole time.
Maybe the last 15 years of porn destroyed my mind.

Going to keep with the physical routine but really stress the mental aspect of it all. Like you said Johnny that connection is certainly lacking and I want to build that intamate connection and not just have sex to cum.

It's hard to say how much physical and mental contribute to orgasms.

It's been interesting for me finding out what combination of stimuli I can control my arousal with and what I can't.

When I edge with my hand and porn I can control.
Edging with fleshlight and porn without sound, I can control.
Edging with fleshlight and porn with sound, I can't control.

Sex in upright missionary, good control.
Sex in cowgirl, decent control.
Sex in missionary, propped on arms, poor control.
Sex in folded over missionary, can't control.
Sex in blowjob, can't control.

I think the key is to figure out what combination you have the most control in at the moment and stick with that for now, and then slowly progress.

[ACPreE]

Log Entry: 6/13/19
Last Night had another kind of eye opening discovery. Has anyone ever noticed the impact of tense lower abs as well? While edging I was RKing to lower arousal but then after the arousal dropped I let go of the RK and a little bit later I could feel the arousal creeping in again but then I noticed my lower abs were tense. I relaxed my lower abs and could feel the arousal drop as well. I have read that tense abs can cause a tense PF as well so just wanted to rehash the importance of relaxing everything down there.

Subconsciously I think I am tensing up.

I tried to, in other words, have sex with my hand so i could get the whole movement involved and i could feel my abs tensing to do the thrusting. Keeping that area relaxed has been a struggle for sure because my body subconsciously wants to tense up.

Anyways tho, Edged for 20mins full control last night didn't have to stop
GF was on her cycle last weekend so couldn't test the mental aspect but this weekend i hope to test both, tension in the Abs and a better mindset going in.

Fingers crossed I can see some progress.