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- 02-16-2019 #1
So to begin with I always came fast. I'm 30 and have suffered from bad masturbation habits and kegaling to finish fast since I was probably 13. When I met my gf that I have now for 4 years, we would go for maybe 1 -2 full min of good thrusting before PONR but now I'm about 5 thrusts. I hovered the site for about a month learning quite a bit. Everywhere else was giving bad info to last longer you should kegal bs. So I decided to start my own thread to log progress and learn throughout the recovery process.
Starter Routine (OLD)
Iv been doing RK throughout the day and for about 10mins in morning of pushing a RK for about 5 to 10 sec and relax for 2 seconds. At night when home from work I do hindi squats for 10mins along with another rk session.
I edge for about 15 to 20mins 3 or 4 days a week.
Iv been doing that for about a month now with no improvement so far. Such that I'm making a log now to keep track and hopefully get some input along the way.
Routine Updated
After learning quite a bit along the journey, I learned I have APT as well but updated my routine to show the set routine.
10m Hindi squat (Morning)
-While in the squat, do triangular breathing 3 3 3 and during the 3in start to push a RK and for the 3Hold, do a good strong RK then can hold a softer Rk for the last 3out.
RK throughout the day at every chance.
-Makeing sure to be aware of my APT and correct the posture every chance as well.
10-20m Tennis ball massage
To and From work 4-5days a week.
10m Hindi squat (Afternoon)
-While in the squat, do triangular breathing 3 3 3 and during the 3in start to push a RK and for the 3Hold, do a good strong RK then can hold a softer Rk for the last 3out.
10-15m APT Stretches
-I youtube how for reminders how to do the stretches but I never remember the names https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LfxpD4GuEI
20min 2-3 Days Week Workout Lower Core/Abs (Added Late)
Had started with Hollowbody Core workout but that wasn't enough. I ended up getting a set of Insanity DVDs and I found a Core/Ab DVD that had a very nice workout that focused all around the pelvis and core.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRbMc4Ql4Cc (Best quality I could find) (I am not affiliated with them in any way and give full credit to the makers of the insanity workout DVDs)
20m minimum Edging
-First started edging dry but now use lube and hand.
-Practice all the delaying techniques to last as long as possible between edges. RK, Breathing, Relaxing, Focus on enjoying not finishing and alternate speed and motion to keep sensation high but not let myself hit PONR.
-On 3rd or 4th day can Finish.
10m RK on back
-Before bed lay on back and correct pelvic rotation and do some good RKs
x2m IT Band Stretches (added 5/22/2019) **(Dropped as didn't show any changes)
Thanks Everyone for the help so far. I hope my thread can be of use to others on their recovery as it is for me.
Any suggestions, recommendations or comments appreciated as well. I'v learned so much along the way and i know there is always more to learn.
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As of 10/6/2019 Recovered
Log entries stopped but Q&A Continued.
Maintenance mode
So now that I can safely say I can consistently last longer then my GF and make sure we both have a great experience, this is what I generally have been doing to Maintain this new stamina.
* 2-3 Days of working out a week with at least 2 days of the Core/Ab workouts.
* Added Glute bridges and a few other exercises for better thrusting.
* Hindi Squat Couple times a week for about 10mins.
* Stay Relaxed and RK about 10% all day long.
* Staying self aware and Deep belly breathing when I notice short breathing.
-------------------------------------
As of 7/7/2020 Maintenance
Adjusted the routine a little bit.
*Run 4 Days a week, (Gets me warmed up and loose)
-During walking parts take longer strides
-During walking parts up stairs I skip a step so my stride is longer.
-Any time i need to stop for a little I stretch and maybe a half set of squats
*Lajin stretches 5-10mins each leg, Make sure the down leg hangs freely. (Do them right after i get back from my run while i'm still warmed up).
*Deep squats (Do 3 sets of as many as i can do) (Use them to warm up again or further strengthening/stretching
*Hindi Squat 5mins
*Leg Lifts while laying on back (Do 3 sets of as many as i can do) Firmly pressing lower back to floor.
Note: This is what i do to maintain the stamina. Eventually I'll be moving into an overall fitness routine but till then, this works.Last edited by ACPreE; 07-07-2020 at 06:15 PM. Reason: Cleaned up/Updated
- 02-16-2019 #2
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Good work starting a log.
How is your flexibility in hindi etc?
- 02-16-2019 #3
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What are your edging sessions like? How long before you reach your first PONR? Do you have many IKs? Are your frenulum and glans really sensitive? Do RKs during edging keep you away from the PONR? What positions work best for you? Are you using a fleshlight and lube?
What position do you usually have sex in? What’s your arousal level when you finish foreplay and start intercourse?
- 02-17-2019 #4
Log entry 1
This morning after about a month of the routine above. We had foreplay for about 20mins before she wanted me inside her. I thrusted very slowly. Every thrust felt like it went up 1 on the scale. I was trying to relax and could feel a bit more relaxed in the pf.
I felt incredible pleasure on the glands though. Too much I think. At such a slow speed I got about 6 thrusts in and I was at 9.9. Today was a bad day but good reason to stay dedicated and start a log.
I know I always forget to focus on breathing but I know today I was more so testing to see how relaxing would help. Guess I'm not as far along as I'd hope.
Anyone have any suggestions on what may help add to my routine? I know I need breathing but I kind of feel dumb just breathing. Does doing breathing sets actually help? Or is it just practice to use while having sex?.
End goal 15 to 20mins. Dedicated and will get there. My gf deserves it.
Flexibility, I'm not overweight but I tend to lose my balance because of the center of gravity. I prop up against a wall just to stop falling backwards but can stay pretty low in the squat and feel the stretch.
Edging, I edge dry with my hand sometimes its slow to get past about 3to5 sensation unless I speed up a bit. Can last for 5 to 10mins pretty easy and then on till 20 with breathing rks and stopping when nessisary. Rk do help but only lower about 10 to 15% arousal.
While edging dry the glands are not too sensative and I dont IK until I get closer to level 7 to 8. But sometimes have random IKs at lower levels.
I have noticed a dramatic difference adding lube to edging. Almost like 25% ponr on some strokes but others it's like a level 7. But still alot of sensation.
During sex she loves missionary after going down on her. When foreplay ends I'm pretty turned on not going to lie. She moans and really loves it which turns me on. I'd say I'm at about 7 or 8 after. I try and keep relaxed but its definitely a struggle when in the moment.Last edited by ACPreE; 04-02-2019 at 05:45 PM. Reason: Moved Log Entry 1 from OP to Clean up
- 02-17-2019 #5
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I'd recommend buying a fleshlight and using lube. It's much closer to the real thing. You can pull the case off, wrap the fleshlight in a towel and put it in between two pillows (one on top and one on the bottom) to edge in the missionary position. Also, if you soak the fleshlight in warm water for 10 minutes -- then it really feels like the real thing. Only allow yourself to ejaculate every 3 or 4 days or so to train your brain that ejaculating isn't the end goal.
Also, I found it difficult to make missionary work, even after I had somewhat fixed my preE in other positions. It was because to be in the missionary position on top - I had to hold myself in a plank like position which tightened up my pelvic floor muscles and my other core muscles (stomach, back, quads, hamstrings). Also, I had to do the thrusting - so that also contributes to pelvic floor tightness. If your partner is up for helping you, you may want to try practicing with her on top. Then you can have her to the thrusting - and you remain calm and still. You can focus on your breathing and relaxing your pelvic floor and not engaging your core muscles. See how edging in the missionary position works with a fleshlight and lube. If that is challenging in the same way as real sex - then use it to work out how your arousal and pelvic floor muscle tightness can be modified.
It is challenging to disconnect from her arousal/moaning, but try to find a way to do that. During foreplay, when I was first training, I kept all my clothes on. Any time I felt like I was getting an erection, I did a bunch of RKs to make it go down. I also didn't let my mind get caught up in my wife's arousal. I focused on my relaxation breathing. No need to start out at a 8. I tried to be at a point where she had to help me get an erection before we could have sex. That was very different then what would happen before I worked on my preE. For my whole life, I held my breath, got super worked up during foreplay, tightened my pelvic floor so tight that it would spasm with every thrust - and only last 1 minute if I was lucky.
If your RKs are not effective at lowering your arousal, then you may need to spend more time on pelvic floor stretching, pelvic floor massage (with a tennis ball or foam roller), and breathing and mental relaxation techniques. Good luck. Get super in tune with what your body is doing during sex -- and figure out what you want it to do.
- 02-17-2019 #6
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The member username andrewvi7 say he is cured. He is doing RK throughout the day also like you. But he is also doing rk for 30 second just before he start intercourse.
- 02-17-2019 #7
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Something to consider for learning to relax muscles in missionary... Practice plank holds on your elbows when fatigued or under load. The point is to learn that you can engage the core muscles while still breathing heavily.
Option 1: Choose a weight heavy enough that you can only hold it on your back in plank for 45 to 60 seconds. When you get really heavy loads, you'll have to breath through it while keeping engaged.
Option 2: Do a routine that gasses you out - just make something up, like a 400m run + 30 squats - and then hold a plank for 60 seconds. Do a few rounds of it and teach yourself that you don't have to hold your breath to engage your core.
While you're holding the plank, check your PF muscles. You want to see if you can engage all the other muscles necessary in plank without tensing the PF. I'm not advocating for a relaxed PF while working out all the time - you need to tense it when necessary. But you also need to learn to disengage it while using other muscles to do the work in missionary.
- 02-17-2019 #8
Thanks for the replies guys!
@ willgetbetter
I'll try limiting how often I finish while edging. At the end of my sessions I build up so much sexual tension that that may help in retraining.
I wish she would be on top more. But she is a bit self conscious so she doesnt like to.
I hear about tennis ball rolling what is this though?
@anclepain
Hmm I'll try and see if it helps to do some before. Makes sense a little stretching before a workout.
@Johnny D
Good suggestion. Missionary is a difficult position while trying to use alot of the techniques suggested and plank practice sounds like a good way to work through the tension of the position.
Appreciate the replies guys. I will incorporate these suggestions and see the results.
- 02-18-2019 #9
Now here is a question. During recovery would it hinder the speed of recovery if you dont apply methods and nut fast during oral. I feel bad if I'm trying to fight ponr while receiving but in the sense I want to do rks to work on the control lol
- 02-18-2019 #10
Another thing, does sitting posture play a factor? I sit all day at work for the most part. I tend to sit on my left foot under my right thigh/buttcheek. While doing stretches and rks, sometimes I feel more tension on the left side of my pf vs the right side. Didnt know if this plays into everything but figured I'd throw it out there. To properly cure, have to tell the doctors all the symptoms.
Clamping Q & A