Question about the stop start method during sex

[rng1989 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rng1989]

Hey.

I`ve been practicing the stop start method during sex for some time now. I can stop every time before the point of no return, take a little time to cool off (meanwhile I would excite my partner with my hands or tongue) and then continue. I can do this as many times as necessary. But here`s my problem with this technique: It sometimes happens, that just when I feel I need to take a break, my partner asks me not to stop or even do it a little faster. In this situation to be honest I don`t know what to do, it`s like Catch-22 . If I do what she asked me, I will inavitably ejaculate in a couple of seconds, or I can stop, risking that in those 1-2 seconds until I switch to oral stimulation her pleasure goes away and we can start it all over again. Sometimes If I stopped, she even asked me why did you stop? I told you not to.

In my oppinion this stop start method sounds really good in theory, whenever you feel the urge to come, you stop. This way you can of course have sex all night, but in reality I think it is really hard to time it right.

What are your thoughts on this, or how do you manage these kind of situations?

Thank you.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

More advanced forms of edging might be more suitable.

[ACPreE Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ACPreE]

I know the feeling. There are time where I'm 5 seconds from cuming and she is 8 seconds from cuming and I have to pull out and she is like, " nooo why did you stop".
I dont think there is a good answer for that one tbh. Kind of just need to improve ourselves to the point we can keep going till we need to kegel to finish.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Umm guys stop /start is a good method to start with but consider moving on to more advanced forms that will achieve your goals.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

This thread may help.
https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...tml?highlight=

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

I know the feeling. There are time where I'm 5 seconds from cuming and she is 8 seconds from cuming and I have to pull out and she is like, " nooo why did you stop".
I dont think there is a good answer for that one tbh. Kind of just need to improve ourselves to the point we can keep going till we need to kegel to finish.

Well, all I can say to that is if she close behind you, let loose and cum. Your hard thrusting, pulsing , shooting cock will catch her up quick. Nothing better than simultaneous orgasms.

[ACPreE Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ACPreE]

Well, all I can say to that is if she close behind you, let loose and cum. Your hard thrusting, pulsing , shooting cock will catch her up quick. Nothing better than simultaneous orgasms.

I wish but we play with fire as she isnt on the pill and doesnt like condoms so my pull out game needs to be on point.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

I wish but we play with fire as she isnt on the pill and doesnt like condoms so my pull out game needs to be on point.

Bad method suggest you find a more effective one.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Bad method suggest you find a more effective one.

AGRRED1. Bad, very bad form of birth control. Actually. It isn’t at all.

[rng1989 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rng1989]

Thank you guys for the replies. To be honest I didn`t hope I would get this many.
I use condoms almost all the time, so ejaculating instead of stopping when I see she is close to orgasm is usually what I do. The only problem is that sometimes close means another 2-3-4 minutes, not necessarily 10 seconds. After ejaculation no matter how hard I try to concentrate, my penis inevitably loses a part of its erection, and there are times when I see on my partner`s face, that she was close to orgasm and then the sensation went away. It is killing me...

In your opinion, on the long run using the stop start method (even while masturbating) should rewire something in my brain, and maybe after a period of time it would help to last longer naturally? Or is it a method which only helps at that moment before the point of no return.

[Bobsadcock Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bobsadcock]

Thank you guys for the replies. To be honest I didn`t hope I would get this many.
I use condoms almost all the time, so ejaculating instead of stopping when I see she is close to orgasm is usually what I do. The only problem is that sometimes close means another 2-3-4 minutes, not necessarily 10 seconds. After ejaculation no matter how hard I try to concentrate, my penis inevitably loses a part of its erection, and there are times when I see on my partner`s face, that she was close to orgasm and then the sensation went away. It is killing me...

In your opinion, on the long run using the stop start method (even while masturbating) should rewire something in my brain, and maybe after a period of time it would help to last longer naturally? Or is it a method which only helps at that moment before the point of no return.

Switch to mouth and finger when she's close, then maybe stick your dick back in later if necessary to finish her off?

Stop and start is a method to train your body to stay at certain arousal levels without accelerating towards PONR.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Sigh no one listens to me .

[rng1989 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rng1989]

Thank you for the link you posted about edging progression and arrousal scale, I`ve read the thread. I understand that my target should be extending the time it takes for me to go from 0 to the point of no return, and the stop start or any other methods are only tools to achieve that goal. My problem is that I am practicing stop-start, edging and a lot of other things for some time now with this goal in mind, but I don`t see any progression. The time it takes for me to get to the first break is the same as it was let`s say 3-4 months ago. This is why I posted on this forum in the first place.

What is even more interesting is that while masturbating it doesn`t matter if I do it slowly or going jackhammer on my dick at full speed, I can control when I ejaculate. If I want, I can cum in 20 seconds, or do it for 1 hour. But when I have sex I can`t control my arousal in any way. I just can`t.

Today thinking about why I can control myself during masturbation but not during sex I came to an interesting conclusion, and I would like to hear your opinions on this. Maybe this whole PE thing appears only because of two reasons. Pressure and guilt - mainly pressure. I was thinking about my past sex partners (girlfriends and one night stands), and what I observed was, that my PE got worse any time I started to care about my partner, and what she thinks of me. I remember some occasions when I was super excited and still could do it for 5-10 minutes and at the end I struggled to ejaculate, and some other times when I even masturbated before sex, but after 1-2 minutes I already felt the urge to finish. There was one time when I was feeling that in a couple of seconds I will come, but somehow my girlfriend had orgasm before me, and seeing this suddenly I felt that my urge to ejaculate dissapeared.

What do you think about this?

[ACPreE Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ACPreE]

So performance anxiety?

Thats what it sounds like at least. I'm kind of in the same boat as you. Iv been at this for months and never saw any real sex time progress. My PF is looser then ever and my flexibility has improved and my edging time before PONR has improved pretty good. Get me into the bedroom with my gf and Anxiety spikes and I get almost shaky and boom 10-20seconds. I only just started seeing progress in time after I started trying to work all the methods and really fight back the anxiety.

The mind has such a great impact on this whole issue more then we even know.

Example, if your naked grandma walks in while having sex and you don't stop, do you think you can still keep a boner and keep going? Probably not. Your arousal will drop EQ will drop and so on unless you are into that kinda stuff.
Nothing changed besides your grandma walking in so why cant you keep going? Because your focus, your mind is saying, not ganna happen now.
Lets rewind and take grandma out of the equation, now your mind is thinking oh ya this feels great lets cum now, yup this is happening now.
You feel the PONR coming close and that is where you are focusing. You think about it and therefore it happens.

If you are like me we need to relax. Focus on her and not ourselves. Deeeep breaths, slow your heart beat and don't psych yourself out. Trust me I was hoping my problem was physical only, I struggle with controlling my mind.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Thank you for the link you posted about edging progression and arrousal scale, I`ve read the thread. I understand that my target should be extending the time it takes for me to go from 0 to the point of no return, and the stop start or any other methods are only tools to achieve that goal. My problem is that I am practicing stop-start, edging and a lot of other things for some time now with this goal in mind, but I don`t see any progression. The time it takes for me to get to the first break is the same as it was let`s say 3-4 months ago. This is why I posted on this forum in the first place.

What is even more interesting is that while masturbating it doesn`t matter if I do it slowly or going jackhammer on my dick at full speed, I can control when I ejaculate. If I want, I can cum in 20 seconds, or do it for 1 hour. But when I have sex I can`t control my arousal in any way. I just can`t.

Today thinking about why I can control myself during masturbation but not during sex I came to an interesting conclusion, and I would like to hear your opinions on this. Maybe this whole PE thing appears only because of two reasons. Pressure and guilt - mainly pressure. I was thinking about my past sex partners (girlfriends and one night stands), and what I observed was, that my PE got worse any time I started to care about my partner, and what she thinks of me. I remember some occasions when I was super excited and still could do it for 5-10 minutes and at the end I struggled to ejaculate, and some other times when I even masturbated before sex, but after 1-2 minutes I already felt the urge to finish. There was one time when I was feeling that in a couple of seconds I will come, but somehow my girlfriend had orgasm before me, and seeing this suddenly I felt that my urge to ejaculate dissapeared.

What do you think about this?

Ok so refering to paragraph 1 .
Wirhin the thread on the link I sent is a link to plateau edging with full instructions on how to do it and I have given instruction on how to get there . You mention no attempt or at plateau edging you don't even mention the name you keep going on about stop/start . Also instructions on how to get to various other edging forms including those involving kegels and reverse kegels again you make no mention of these .

You also don't mention other training your out of sex kegel /rk routine ,your stretch routine or massage forms etc .

Paragraph 2 and 3 deal with the mental side .

The