My log

[Anklepain]

Hhhmn, one thing came to my mind when you say "I need to figure out how to increase arousal slowly." Is do you guys in this forum watching porn and skip the "boring/foreplay" scene alot? Maybe that is why arousal increase too fast? I dont have answer for you how to increase arousal slowly but I just want to find out what is the core reason we have Pre E.

[bball33]

I haven't watched porn in a long time. When I did I did most likely skip the foreplay and I'm sure that is part of the contribution of many things. I was thinking skipping the orgasm until plateau is reached. Sooner or later the brain has to agree this feels good without ejaculation

[Anklepain]

Last week and other week I did edge for about 7-8 times without ejaculation. I did not help me.

[bball33]

Crap, I thought I was on to something for a minute there lol

[bball33]

Edged tonight, 20 min and finished by accident. At around 15 min might had a slight low level plateau. Is the length of time more important or trying not to ejaculate the bigger end goal?

[bball33]

8-13-19
Tennis ball massage. Edged for 40 min. Still haven't plateaued. I can go pretty hard and when it gets up the scale and I slow down I lose it all. Drops down low arrousal and EQ. At 40 min kinda just lost interest and began stretching. Quad and hip flexor and 10 min Hindi. I've been holding onto my bed post to keep my feet flat and they are getting easier. The PF stretch is good except I get mostly at my butt. Gotta admit, be careful with that one if you have any feeling that you have to crap you will then lol. All in all PF is looser and I am gaining flexibility slowly. I will feel better when I start to hit this plateau I hear about.

[bball33]

8-14-19
Same routine as yesterday but when I edged at about 34 min I think I hit a small plateau till about 40 min and I stopped. Amazing how you can do it yourself and go litterly till you get bored but put a woman there and forget it. Hindi squat is going better all the time, I feel my hips are loosening up and now I get alittle knee discomfort I believe from getting lower. Didn't feel much PF stretch this time though which is kinda strange.

[bball33]

Had sex last night, did better than Sunday morning but that doesn't mean much.

[bball33]

I've been thinking about this, we have sex 1 to 2 times a week and pretty routinely because of kids and whatnot. My third day of edging is sex. When I edge it's gotten to the point wheres it's more like a job then pleasure because I don't plateau. I think I am going to back down the times I edge to maybe once or twice a week and maybe then the sensitivity will be higher and I can practice at higher arousal levels. I am going to continue my belly breathing when I remember and daily stretching. That is helping my legs and hips greatly because I am a super tight person to begin with. I think it's quality over quantity. PF is better, I can give her oral and whatnot and not feel like I'm gonna bust already. Typically I need alittle help to get ready to PIV now so that's a good sign. I feel like I've made great strides with everything leading up to putting it in. How the heck do you get to the next level??

[ACPreE]

Just practice. Keep working on the physical side as it sounds like you are making some good progress in that area. Next would be to check what is happening mentally.

For me I just keep ironing out the physical side and that is fixing alot but there was a big mental side for me that i needed to overcome. One where i was stressed and worried about cuming too fast and she wouldn't be happy. Gave me anxiety to have sex which I think put me in a fight or flight which is like a cum and run feeling lol.

For edging, it takes me 15mins to start to feel my arousal go up but I enjoy it the whole time. Try adding in imagination or sound porn to get you a little more aroused to feel it. You want to enjoy edging because you are trying to train your body for a few things, 1. To enjoy the sensation and not rush to orgasm 2. Practice arousal control techniques and 3. Get used to higher arousal and stimulation without IKs. You can also say edging helps you get used to sexual frustration holding back finishing for 3 days before you bust.

Focus on what your body and mind is doing when you switch from going down on her to going into her. Does your heart start to race? do you start to get stressed? can you feel yourself clenching or tightening your PF? Learn your body so you can learn what it is doing and how to counter it.