Severe 20 seconds Pre E problem log

[upuratinario]

@ACPreE
I can exclude APT, or at least 95%, as I have no tilt down there.
My problem is the forward tilt in my showlders, which seems to be caused by tensed pecs and weak posterior chain. I am addressing this issue since today, started warming up the back for some workout tomorrow.
The abs, or more specifically the lower abs seems to have problem as well. I always said and asked myself why is my belly / gut sticking out so much when I inhale and why I don't feel any expansion in the Pf like everyone who teaches this.
Today I kept my lower abs tensed and inhaled, and I immediately felt that expansion without the need for me to Rk on purpose.This did wonders as I don't have to push with the diaphragm and put pressure on my inguinal ring and cause more problems to my hernia.
So slowly slowly I keep adding exercises until I will eventually go into a full gym workout it seems. It's been long overdue.
Posture is bad, breathing can't be done how it should, I don't even want to go into leg muscle problems.

@Pegasus
Thanks for confirming posterior chain workout is a good idea.

Day 32

- skipped yoga 2 days, not on purpose but because of poor time management on my part
- edged today so no more than 2 days without ejaculation go by. Edging session was ok, but PONR emerged after around 8 minutes. I had some sex thoughts in my head few hours prior to this, so I'll blame it on that + skipping yoga. Managed to "edge" by it with breathing, RK, stoping for 5 seconds. Went at it for a total of 25 minutes. Orgasm after a few start stop techniques seem to increase exponentially. Increased tightness of my grip. No idea if it's a death grip, but its... grippy.

- forgot to mention that when I had sex last time, after we were done, my erection refused to go down for like a good 15 minutes. I don't complain, but it's something that never happened to me and I have no idea to what i should attribute this.

- at this point in time, I have pin pointed my causes of a tense PF and until I work them out, if I don't do yoga even for 1 day or 2, it will go tense again. In my particulare case however, I have observed that even with a continued tension, after 3 consecutive days of yoga ( lets say 1 hour per day in total ) on the 3rd day I feel the maxed effects, especially when I start to edge or have sex.

- started to run outside for a few minutes a day because some relationship with endophrins or something. No idea if it helps but wanted to make sure I specify this here.

- will update as soon as I change something or have sex. A user asked me in PM to make a list of what i did in this past month because I wrote a lot so I will make a post about a summary soon.

[nofun]

- I have some problems with performance anxiety, as the moment my wife suggested sex, heart beat went through the roof and minor shaking occured. Not sure how I will fix this as I was relaxed prior to this. Managed to overcome it but it wasnt fast.

Same here. Only thing that fixes this atm is talking openly with my girl and taking your time, when you feel the anxiety kicks in... I could never have a ONS at the moment, cause I would have the freaking worse PreE ever. Much of my gained stamina comes from feeling "secure" and "accepted" by my partner.

[upuratinario]

Day 35 ( or 34 based on forum calculations )

- I had sex today. Good sex right until she said no more. So on this side, I call it a win. But there are a few problems:
- again had anxiety, not sure if it was performance anxiety or just because of the act itself
- because of anxiety, after entering her, I was a lot sensitive again. Basically after 4 strokes I had to pull out and wait 5 seconds, otherwise I would have ejaculated. I basically did a start stop trick. Not sure why I keep having this issue and how to address it. maybe some advice from the gurus would come in handy. Surely there is something I am NOT doing in my routine. Please help!
- after this, sex went great. I was sensitive but in control in the same time, basically like in an edging session where I could ride the waves without falling over. Misionarry, doggy, her on top, nothing posed any problems

- slowly opening the knees more on hindi squats, basically into a garland pose
- flow of urine has increased, which leaves me to belive muscle tension is somehow alievated at least a little
- as muscle tension goes, I think I am on the right route and got this covered, at least with yoga until I fix my muscle imbalance and weak core
- still need to find how to incorporate breathing into sex. It is easy outside of sex, but it hasn't become something of a memory so my mind can do it whenever.
- need to start edging with lube to come close to what PIV feels like. Up until now was doing it dry. perhaps penis is not acustomed with the warmth feeling or different friction feeling.

- will update if i change something or have sex. All in all wife had the satisfied face third time in a row since I began to show progress, so I am happy.

[Tibo87]

Day 35 ( or 34 based on forum calculations )

- I had sex today. Good sex right until she said no more. So on this side, I call it a win. But there are a few problems:
- again had anxiety, not sure if it was performance anxiety or just because of the act itself
- because of anxiety, after entering her, I was a lot sensitive again. Basically after 4 strokes I had to pull out and wait 5 seconds, otherwise I would have ejaculated. I basically did a start stop trick. Not sure why I keep having this issue and how to address it. maybe some advice from the gurus would come in handy. Surely there is something I am NOT doing in my routine. Please help!
- after this, sex went great. I was sensitive but in control in the same time, basically like in an edging session where I could ride the waves without falling over. Misionarry, doggy, her on top, nothing posed any problems

- slowly opening the knees more on hindi squats, basically into a garland pose
- flow of urine has increased, which leaves me to belive muscle tension is somehow alievated at least a little
- as muscle tension goes, I think I am on the right route and got this covered, at least with yoga until I fix my muscle imbalance and weak core
- still need to find how to incorporate breathing into sex. It is easy outside of sex, but it hasn't become something of a memory so my mind can do it whenever.
- need to start edging with lube to come close to what PIV feels like. Up until now was doing it dry. perhaps penis is not acustomed with the warmth feeling or different friction feeling.

- will update if i change something or have sex. All in all wife had the satisfied face third time in a row since I began to show progress, so I am happy.

Regarding anxiety, voicing it is usually a great tool to get rid of it ''look, you turn me on so bad, you know how much I'm excited by you, and I'm a bit anxious that I may come quick/ have to take time at the beginning, can you help me with that?''
Because your wife had the satisfied face three times now, she will be more than happy to help you with that and make you feel less stressed.

Also, regarding satisfaction (and I am sorry if you already have given the answer here), are you helping your wife to have at least one, if not two or three orgasms before you make love? That would also take the whole ''anxiety about performance'' away.

For the ''start stop'' trick, a great thing to do is, as soon as you penetrate her, just few cm, pause. Then go inside a bit more, and pause again. Give time to your sex to get ''used to the feeling'' of being inside your partner. The more you will have sex, the more you will be able to penetrate her with less pauses.

Are you having a lot of foreplay before? It can help you to be less sensitive.

+100 for using lube during edging sessions. Also, play with your wife once in a while and do an edging session with her in control. You will teach her in the same time how to recognize your arousal scale, and it's freaking exciting

Hope this helps.

[WoodWork]

Just now you're thinking about using lube ? I'm not saying it negatively, quite positively that you managed so much success with just dry edging

I use a FleshL (two quickshots connected as it's better and a hell of a lot easier to clean so I can use it every time) pre warmed in hot water, lots of lube, propped up so I can thrust into it (it's harder to relax your PF while thrusting), long edging session up to an hour + porn/fantasies

...

and still I get the "ticklish" penis often, especially at the first time, that I still don't know how to "fight off" in a reliable way.

But you seem to have a way, your "start-stop trick". Can you once more explain what it is and what do you feel? Does your erection go down or get less "rigid"? Any thing that you could assess that you are doing it correctly?

And what seems to be the problem? You have a reliable method that needs only 5 seconds outside and then you're set to go. Nobody says once you put it in you can't take it out until the end

I, similarly as you, once I get rid of the "ticklish" penis it's a lot easier to control while still being sensitive. I just still don't have a reliable method as you.

(by "ticklish" I mean that the penis is sensitive but in a way that stimulation spikes to PONR too fast than normally and you feel like you're constantly on the edge)

[upuratinario]

@Tibo87
As for the pre-sex orgasms for her and foreplay, there is lots from both. I even came to conclude that my sensitivity when sex starts is somehow due to foreplay as I get so turned out and the PF goes crazy. I try to RK, and I THINK I Rk, but somehow I don't think i'm pushing down hard or the muscle is just locked in during arousal. I now see ACPreE had the same problem in his log and it kind of makes sens. bball33 as well. ACPreE seems to have eliminated it, so that's some good news.
Thanks for the going slow suggestion. I have to admit I kind of rush into thrusting when sex starts. Not at full thrusting, but not slow either. Maybe that's the problem.
I did talk to my wife about this. in fact, I think opening out to her regarding this was a crucial stepping point in my progress as I no longer had to hide it and make up with round 2 which sometimes didnt happen. Now we just laugh when I get sensitive and just say " haha, relax ". So yeah, that helps in my case. But if I was a teenager and a one night stand was around, that wouldn't work.


@WoodWork
My "start-stop" trick is basically the OP from Edging 101 by King pole, where you just stop at 99,99% PONR and wait it out. In my particular case, I penetrate her, and by the time my unit is fully in, head gets all crazy and it feels like I'm about to ejaculate in the next milisecond. So I pull out, sometimes fast so I don't come in the meantime, and wait it out. last time unit gave me 1-2 spasms that I thought I was going to blow my load. But managed to relax, was doing an Rk while breathing and it went away. Good part is that after this, you get like around 4-5 minutes of "imunity" as you somehow trick the mind you had an orgasm even though it doesn't feel like one. But as some member said, i think ACPreE, this is unreliable, as sometimes you can miss your time frame and it all goes down.
While this is sometime I can count on, I wish I would not need to do this EVERY time i have sex. Maybe once in a while or maybe if I want to PROLONG sex, but not in the begining.
I will try and go really slow the next time, and let my body go with the flow and see if it goes away. It's like a barrier that once you cross it, it's smooth sailing until you want it to end.
You asked about erection. I have no loss of EQ by doing this whatsoever, on the contrary, I feel like the penis goes into a ballooning state after this. I never did have EQ problems, before libido went normal I was horny all day every day, getting bonners here and there.
Yes, my understanding of ticklish is the same. That's good news, it means we can beat it. I'm still just a month into this, so I have my patience, it's just that I feel I can address this better if I knew what to target.
Maybe it's because I have been edging dry all this time. The break from sex between pregnancy and post partum also helped a great deal to get me deeper intro Pre E too.
Started to work out the abs as well and i think I will add some leg work too. Will update my log soon regarding this along with a list of what i did, since you asked me in PM. I didn;t forget hehe.

[WoodWork]

Oh, for some reason I thought your "trick" was a RK that lowers your erection/arousal. Now I remember it was an "almost dry orgasm", and yes it's a bit risky if it's the only thing to fight Pre-E

As for the RK lowering erection/arousal: I still can't get that effect but I'm now reading ACPreE where he talks about a more "to the front" front RK. Seems similar to what WillGetBetter and you described and maybe what I'm missing. What was also intriguing is that he could use the front-front RK even while masturbating.

I'm halfway through the thread and I know it ends with a "happy ending". I just hope it has the solution you and I are missing.

[upuratinario]

Update

- had sex 3 times since I last updated, first 2 times things went great, today went bad, like 40 days ago bad. The moment I entered her, i felt I was about to ejaculate. Stopping / starting didn't help and I ejaculated so we went for round two. Now, I didn't get really upset over this, but this corelates with be not doing any exercise what so over in the last 5 days. Not a stretch, no edging, nothing. So yes, i'm not entirely down over this, but wanted to let you know everything is not peaches.
- will resume routine ( had break due to busy life and work ) and add that ab workout acpree posted that bbal33 is doing it too
- will try to workout glutes and hamstrings too
- will update soon after I do the workouts

[upuratinario]

Update

- had sex every day since I last posted, today went sideways again. So again 2/3 good, but can't help feel down about the one that went bad. everytime this happens it's usually because I skipped stretches the previous day. Everything happens when I enter her, I immediatelly feel the need to ejaculate. Sometimes I power through it, but like today, I wasn't able to, it was more powerful than me.

- from what i've been reading on ACPreE log and bball33, it's probably due to that PF lock, which now since I know about it, realise I still keep it locked, especially during foreplay. We foreplay a lot, me on her, her on me, kissing, which usually takes 15-20 minutes. By the time we get to sex, I'm already hot and bothered, the PF is tense as fck. Sometimes I manage to relax it on the spot bu doing either RK or piston breathing and kind of hit the PF with the inhale, but there are ocasions like today when that didn't work.

- i still have my PF tense while walking, even though I realise and relax, it tenses back up after I take a few steps. Started doing posterior chain workout, but now i[m not really sure it's due to that. Also doing ACPreE ab workout, but it's fresh so I can't really see results now, just DOMS from the workout which is a good think I hope.

- dont know where to turn to find out why I walk with this clenched PF all day. Even when I go up the stairs, it engages like hell. Sometimes I go down the stairs with a semi RK and i feel so loose and it feels ok, but then it tenses back again. would appreciate any points as to what underlieing issue this could be causing. I don't have APT from what I can tell, and even if I have, it's like a 5% (??)

- tried different stretches but nothing compares to kindi and baby pose, or I'm not doing them correctly. so sticking with those
- didn't find any soft tennis ball to do the massage, I think this is something I would bennefit strongly from.

Any ideas to why I am having this tight PF all day long would be appreciated, at least so I can scratch them off the list

[ACPreE]

I feel like we have to retrain our PF to relax because we have subconsciously trained it to stay tense to support our bad muscle imbalances and poor kegel clenching habits. We loosen out PF to allow for easier and greater relaxation and with enough time should be able to start to feel your PF default to a more relaxed state. I feel it now after keeping that relaxed/slight RK PF all day, If I throw in a kegel, I can feel the longer distance the PF has to travel to become clenched again.

Granted I still have to loosen and relax the clench as well but it is all apart of the retraining. I personally spent 15 years+ of subconsciously training my body to clench so its still going to take time to engrave it in stone but as far as Iv come, My PF is staying more relaxed now to the point my stamina has increased from 5 pumps to 10mins+. Tension creeps in but that is where the maintenance comes in to keep the body on the right track.