Lurker finally seeks personalised advise from old members

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Update Wed 18/09/19
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First the good news

* I have had great results in stretching and have achieved a semblance of 'plateau' both in edging and piv.

*Massaged the knots/trigger points daily and feel them barely starting to loosen up. Good shit!


And now , areas to focus on:

*Still have STRONG urge to kegel when penis is touched. I'm able to calm this down since starting this routine however the IKs are still RAMPANT.

*First time since starting I found my commitment start to "waver" a bit. Only did squats/stretches 4/7 days and just yesterday I masterbated to hardcore porn twice with a 'i dont give a fuck' attitude and didn't edge at all. Came very quickly. Felt regret. Feels bad man

*Arousal control is still all kinds of fucked up. Porn is still a problem in my life..


Glad that I committed to a log, because now I have to be honest with myself AND all you guys about what's really going on with me and my progress week to week.

Again, thank you so much PEGym for giving me the belief that I can change and giving me the guidance I need.

I'll check in next week, with better focus!

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Update Sunday 22/9/19
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Feeling really good about results so far!

Getting a MUCH better idea of what a proper RK feels like!
Able to get erections without IK! (sometimes)
Able to often touch penis without IK!

Wasn't as consistent as I'd like to be in my routine, but I'm seeing MASSIVE results and I couldn't be happier with my decision to trust you guys and follow your advice!

Realised how difficult it is to isolate PC and BC.
Can't really RK the BC without using PC first.
Can't really kegel the BC without immediately engaging the PC and almost always RL when BC gets full contraction.

Decided to massage the knots every other day instead of every day to avoid soreness.

Might add some kegels now to gain strength and maintain balance on pelvic floor.
Started a sheet to help me remember how my routine is going.

Sun Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri Sat
Stretch x x x x
Massage x x x
RKs x x x x x x x
Edge x x x
PIV x

EDIT- formatting on that table didnt really work out, but you guys get the idea

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Update Wed 02/10/19
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I've been feeling really good emotionally this past week and a half, however I haven't continued my pre-e workout with as much dedication as I had in the first few weeks.

I'm constantly throughout the day trying to notice when I have a tight/clenched pelvic floor and relax it with RK, however I haven't dedicated a specific time to myself to focus on RKs as often as I would have liked to.

Similarly I only did Hindi squats twice this week which could definitely see an improvement. That being said, the two times that I DID do hindi squats I was able to stay down for 10mins + , twice each day which is massively different to the 30 seconds or so that I could do when I first started.

I had PIV this week which went much better than it has been in a long time. IKs were present and in the initial penetration my pelvic floor was extremely tight! However I was able to breathe, relax, RK etc. and was able to bring myself into a plateau for a while. Felt good!

Porn addiction is still a problem. I feel reliant on porn to achieve erection and my ability to focus my mind sexually is where I will focus on the next few weeks.
(I will continue to maintain my physical routine)

Will lurk moar on stickies related to arousal control in an attempt to move forward.

[Dangler]

Be patient with yourself, breaking the porn thing can take some time. If you will develop the "close your eyes/use your imagination", and take your time, you will have a great alternative.

[Pegasus]

Hmm .
Read by P.

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Update Thurs 24th October 2019
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Lots has happened in this period so I'm going to summarise. I have had both extremely positive effects as well as discouraging moments. The important think is to Continue to stay committed to this transformation and to push forward with absolute belief that through dedication and commitment the outcome (control) can be achieved!

Remember, what you allow is what will Continue.


Positive
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* I have a MUCH better feeling in my body as to what a kegel and especially what a reverse kegel feels like. Before these few weeks I struggled to perform reverse kegels, then afterwards I was 'kind of getting the feeling' that I was doing it right and started to feel confident that I was doing it right. There are however different levels of understanding and I realised last week that I wasnt doing RK properly at all!
I stumbled upon the 'real' feeling of RK by putting a lot of downward pressure on my pelvic floor. At first I was only able to do this while holding my breath and 'pushing' until I literally felt the muscle relax. It's important to note here that I wouldnt have been able to even notice that this was happening without the months of paying attention to my body and sensations FIRST! This was key in enabling this important next step!
Soon I was able to RK in this way without holding my breath. Sometimes its more difficult than others but I'm developing a better sense of what it should feel like in order to relax the kegel.
I'm also sure that in the future I will get an even BETTER understanding and sense of control of relaxing this muscle and re-discover how to 'really' do it


* I have become self aware of the psychological tendency to push myself towards orgasm. I get myself all fired up and squeeze my legs together and kegel, hoping to push myself into higher states of elevation and physical pleasure. I was doing this completely unconsciously and now I have spotted it I am able to recognise that Im doing it and able to relax myself. I tell myself "Hey, I see what your doing there. Your pushing yourself to feel better! Just relax and enjoy things how they are!". I'm able to then take back control and relax, remind myself of my ultimate mission (self control) and resume the session.

* I have DRASTICALLY reduced the amount of IKs that I experience both throughout the day and with stimulation. It's not 100% but its no longer the out of controll helpless spasming that it was when I started this thread. This progress is extremely encouraging.



Negative
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* I have been struggling to reduce my reliance on pornography as a psychological sexual stimulant and haven't had much success at all After stopping porn for a week I had PIV and was so massively over-excited psychologically that I came in minutes. I'm still stuck in this situation where I'm not really very horny or easily aroused without porn so I have to go a while without edging before I'm able to build up the desire and then I'm able to edge with some success. However when I go so long without edging then when I actually have a chance of real intercourse I'm way over excited and not able to control myself.
I feel like the answer to this is to keep trying to keep away from porn and success in that will lead to results.

* As I develop the ability to relax my pelvic floor and with stretches I feel like the pf is loosening up, I'm having a noticeably lower EQ than before. I think this is because previously I have been kegeling during masturbation and sex. Without this constant pumping and while keeping relaxed pelvic floor I have far less EQ.
I think this is also because of porn addiction and that solving that problem will solve this also. I have experienced rock hard erection without kegels so I know its possible and most likely arrousal malfunction due to excessive porn use and lack of arousal control.



So all in all I know what to keep doing and will Continue!

Again, thanks PEgym for keeping me focused and accountable, and giving the insights necessary for this journey!

[upuratinario]

What do you understand from "I came in minutes"? Define minutes, because it's a huge difference between ejaculating in 20 seconds and in 5 minutes. Actually, Premature Ejaculation is described as ejaculating before 5 minutes. Usually, including myself, the first 2-3 minutes are crucial for taking thing slow, after that mark time does not exist anymore.

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What do you understand from "I came in minutes"?

like 2 minutes..

Usually, including myself, the first 2-3 minutes are crucial for taking thing slow, after that mark time does not exist anymore.

Good advice.

[ACPreE]

I stumbled upon the 'real' feeling of RK by putting a lot of downward pressure on my pelvic floor. At first I was only able to do this while holding my breath and 'pushing' until I literally felt the muscle relax. It's important to note here that I wouldn't have been able to even notice that this was happening without the months of paying attention to my body and sensations FIRST! This was key in enabling this important next step!

You said it right there that a lot of new people don't understand. It takes some work to get there but now that you have gotten to that level of self awareness, you can really make some jumps now. Keep stretching and try to stay relaxed, RK 10% all day outside of your routine to reinforce your pf to relax not tense.

Quit that porn man you don't need it.

You will have ups and downs but keep it up man you are on the right track!

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Update Tuesday 19th November
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After all this time I'm just beginning to scratch the surface of the psychological. This is where most of my effort will lie for the next while.