My log in beating PreE

[Drjohn]

Happy to see someone cured around here, we don't get that a lot!
As far as edging on start stop vs plateau, I would like to mention my experience in regards to your advice.
First thing i tried when i started to try and cure myself, was edging for plateau as it was in the stickies. Read everything, it all made sense, and I went for it.
Terrible results, almost discouraging.
Then I did start stop for a month, learned my limits, when and how I go over, when I stay well under, how I react, etc.
Then I got back to plateau since a couple weeks ago.
Tremendous difference. I can now fully understand what that guy who wrote it was on about.
The stretching also helped a lot, but I feel one needs a little understanding of the start stop which is the easiest, before going on something more advanced. While it does NOTHING to cure Pre E, it helps towards the process.

Good comment, i agree that it can probably be useful in some situations, however i believe with tension any edging is not good at all.

And everytime a premature ejaculator will attempt plateau edging it will always be a sort or ”stop and start” before you get used to it and find the plateau.

I think its most important to give people the information that edging while being tense and getting ik’s is a waste of time, number one priority Will always be to eliminate involuntary kegels before edging. The only ”involuntary” kegels should be when you are at the orgasm

[Pegasus]

Actually we get guys cured all the time and then they often disappear forever because they have accomplished what they came here to do .

Welcome back Dr John.

[Drjohn]

Actually we get guys cured all the time and then they often disappear forever because they have accomplished what they came here to do .

Welcome back Dr John.

Thank you my friend!

[Jimmy_quick]

Hey my man! The routine is looking good overall, but id say skip the edging until you have a better condition on your pelvic floor.

Keep doing the reverse kegels and the squats, you will feel when you are loose enough down there.

After that you can start the edging.

You see, i was at the exact same spot you are, i felt the ponr after 1-3 thrusts, started this start/stop edging you are doing now, and its not any beneficial, it doesnt do anything for you.

You need to start plateau edging when you are loose instead of the start and stop.

By plateau edging you get used to that ”ponr” feeling you have after 2-3 thrusts, and after training for a while you will be able to feel this amazing feeling during the whole intercourse without feeling the need to ejaculate, this is totally not understandable for someone with pre e.

But that is where i have been for a long time now, sex for as long as i want and it feels exactly the same way the whole intercourse as the intense seconds after 2-3 thrusts 2 years ago.

Thanks, good point. I thing this transition from stop/start to plateau maybe the fix for me.
About the edging. Because of the family i dont have much privacy. I edge sometimes in evenings when everybody is already sleeping so I canmot do it on regular basis. Anyway when edging I will strive no to plateau and trying to stay away from PONR. I am currently reading the ByGGd's programme which seems very interesting and giving a lof of tips. What I will be trying to incorporate in my sessions will be the slow 2 sec strokes.

I was reading somewhere here in the forum about this 20min rule while edging, i.e. trying to edge for at least 20min before cumming. I feel this myself even during sex. If I manage to pass over those initial 20 min, even with a lot of stopping/starting I get to a state where I can control my thrusts by slowing down and in general having some kind of control. Problem for now is my wife if not really into this, i mean stopping and starting fpr 20 min as she gets bored and said she dont like it.

Had sex yesterday. Not so positive as the last time. I have the feeling at some point during sex I totally forget everything I am practicing, i.e. RKs, breathing, relaxing. Sure thing is this has to do with the mental side. Will try to consciously get out of this next time.
Anyway, tried to stick to what works for me for now. Started with abou 10 min giving her oral. Went for the missionary after that which works best for me. Lasted about 10 min starting and stopping here and there, no deep thrusts. It is more staying inside and moving my body. After the 10min I felt PONR approaching and decided not to just stop but rather change position. So we switched to her laying down on her tummy and me frok the back. I could not resis more then 5 thrusts like this and I came. I feld so aroused and hard as hell, my PV was like cemented. Tried RK and deep breathing.. nothig work worked in this last moment, I guess it was too late and and I had no time to mentally prepare. Wife was not in the mood for round 2 so that was it.
Thinking now what to change next time we have sex...

About my routine
-- doing light RK for about 10 min, 3 times per day. I say light because of the current issue with piles
-- yoga stretches - 20 min evening
-- meditative RKs 10 min
-- mediation 10min

Good thing for now is the self-awareness i am building as now I notice how my body reacts to arousal better.

Also noticed giving her oral makes me very excited, so even I am not erect after that I am somehow very aroused. Maybe will try to skip the forplay and see how it goes...

[upuratinario]

Also noticed giving her oral makes me very excited, so even I am not erect after that I am somehow very aroused. Maybe will try to skip the forplay and see how it goes...

Came to this conclusion myself a few weeks back, thought I might be getting into sex all hot and horny and I should skip foreplay or at least not going down on her.
Nothing changed. Maybe it will be different for you, but I doubt it as a lot of us have basically the same situations and simptoms.

I actually tried once to get into sex without any foreplay at all, just some lube on her and went full in. Nothing changed.
The part where the frenulum rubs her entire vagina wall makes me cum until I am at stroke two.

After the 10min I felt PONR approaching and decided not to just stop but rather change position. So we switched to her laying down on her tummy and me frok the back. I could not resis more then 5 thrusts like this and I came. I feld so aroused and hard as hell, my PV was like cemented. Tried RK and deep breathing.. nothig work worked in this last moment, I guess it was too late and and I had no time to mentally prepare. Wife was not in the mood for round 2 so that was it.
Thinking now what to change next time we have sex...

Another thing I also do/did and is very wrong, is to attempt to FIX anything when I am already there. There should exist some muscle memory for us to attempt any RK, breathing, etc well before there is even any need, well before sex too.
But this is hardly anything easy to do planed.
So I found that for the Rk part, working my lower abs started to do the trick and now I pretty much RK all day when I breathe. It is very well done when I am sitting down.
As for breathing, there is a part in some book called century count. basically you start to breathe through your belly, deep breaths, and count to 100 for every breathe you take. The catch is to restart whenever your mind wonders and you lose count. it sounds pretty simple and rudimentary, but I had to do 8 tries before I got to 100. After one such session, the breathing comes from memory for at least another 4-5 hours.

[Jimmy_quick]

So I found that for the Rk part, working my lower abs started to do the trick and now I pretty much RK all day when I breathe. It is very well done when I am sitting down.

What about using the lower abs during piv for better expanding the PF and doing better RKs? According to some members here tightening the abs also leads to more pressure in the PF which leads to reaching the PONR faster.
I still cannot determine for myself which is better. However I still cannot make a good RK without helping myself with tightening the abs.

[upuratinario]

You don't use the lower abs. The lower abs when worked out act like a corset, so when you breathe instead of the belly expanding too much, pressure goes up and down, towards the pf and relaxes it. In a lot of people, this comes naturally. In my case it didn;t due to not working out since ages, sitting all day at the desk, mostly a sedentary life. The air will try to expand whichever is easier, like water. If it finds a hard time expanding into the lower abs, it will go down, which is what we want.

Actually this is why a hindi squat is so powerfull. When you are bent down, you are putting pressure on your abs, so when you breathe, air doesn't have a easy way to move so it will push all your organs, including your PF, giving them a stretch from the inside.

In contrast, tight/tense abs will cause the PF to stay tense as well, this I tell from my own skin as well as Ive seen it happen years in a row.

[Jimmy_quick]

You don't use the lower abs. The lower abs when worked out act like a corset, so when you breathe instead of the belly expanding too much, pressure goes up and down, towards the pf and relaxes it. In a lot of people, this comes naturally. In my case it didn;t due to not working out since ages, sitting all day at the desk, mostly a sedentary life. The air will try to expand whichever is easier, like water. If it finds a hard time expanding into the lower abs, it will go down, which is what we want.

Actually this is why a hindi squat is so powerfull. When you are bent down, you are putting pressure on your abs, so when you breathe, air doesn't have a easy way to move so it will push all your organs, including your PF, giving them a stretch from the inside.

In contrast, tight/tense abs will cause the PF to stay tense as well, this I tell from my own skin as well as Ive seen it happen years in a row.

Indeed same issue here. When I do deep diaphragm breathing if I don't tighten my lower abs my belly expands and not the PF. I will incorporate some lower abs exercises in my routine and see how this develops with the time.

[Jimmy_quick]

It is time for some update. There were some ups and downs in the last couple of days.
Downs:
Had alway sex, if i can call it sex yesterday.
We werr watching some love story movie on the tv so seems wife got in the mood and jumped on my on the coach. It is not happening ogten that she takes the initiative so I was happy. However what I noticed right away was that i got hard as stone in the matter of seconds which was not a good sign for me. After some kissing she wanted it right away without foreplay... so we got directly in missionary. And here come the greatest failure. As soon as I got in I ejaculated. Just like that in a couple of seconds. I totally lost control, could not even try to breath or RK... just didn't have the time. So depressing and annoying.
After analysing tje situation I can say:
1. I couldn't handle this case of such intense arousal.
2. I did not have any time to mentally adjust.
3. She was still not wet enough when I got in so the my foreskin was pushed back which cause enormous IK and urge to cum.

Still not sure how to tackle this, for sure next time will at least not get in until she is wet enough and ready.
What is left is the disappointment as I really wanted to give her a good fuck this time...

Ups:
Had morning sex in the weekend.
For first time i was able to last for about 4-5min in the spoon position. Somehow I managed to relax my PF, i felt it even when i was stopping and starting again. Great feeling. She eventually wanted it from the back which i couldn't handle again... just a few thrusts and that was it.

All in all despite the failures I feel i am progressing.

I am sure if I manage to get over the initial urge i can handle a couple of minutes with start/stop from time to time. Ultimately the aim will be to pass over the 20 min.

On the routine side.
- doing mainly light RKs during the day
- stretches and joga in the evening
- decided to stop edging for now. Lets see how this will turn out.

[Jimmy_quick]

Quick update.

Wake up horny today and wife was not in the mood. So i asked her for a handjob.
I was lying on my back and I was feeling very relaxed. Erection was 100%. Managed to last about 10 min. This position gave me the opportunity to breath, relax and push slight RK. She was stroking fast, when i was feeling PONR approaching i would ask her to slow down. At the end decided to cum as we were about to be late for work.
It was totally different if I edge myself, so I am thinking of edging with her from time to time when sex is not an option.

Question about the PF tightness. It seems I find myself tensed all the time throughout the day. However when I am walking for example, I stop and move my attention to the PF i feel it relaxing and prolapsing.
Unfortunately I am relaxed only when I consciously do it. For the people have it relaxed during the day, was it like this initially and this fixed with the time