My log in beating PreE

**PhilipKDick** · 02-14-2020

I had the same with previous partners, they said it doesn't matter and not to worry about it. Obviously it did matter to me and eventually I managed to persuade them. The thing is that they thought I wanted to be better for them and give them much longer sex sessions. They didn't want me to be self-conscious, especially seeing as they were unaware that it was something that could be changed, so of course they dismissed the notion that it was a problem. Actually it was never about them, it was about me feeling healthy and more complete as a man.

Look at it this way, imagine you're either very skinny or very overweight. Your partner says she's fine with your body and she stays with you for years, which proves it. You're still self-conscious of your body though and you want to be physically better, healthier, stronger, for yourself. You decide to start going to the gym to work out, but you just need her to drive you there and back twice a week. Would she refuse and stand in the way of you fulfilling yourself or would she make a little effort for you, knowing that there's nothing in it for her? (It's a rhetorical question). That's the way we looked at the situation.

Also you mentioned the hemorrhoids a while ago. I had the same thing, right around the time I started doing the stretches and RKs. Those f***ing things became a living nightmare and I ended up having to go to hospital because of them. I've also seen other people here mention hemorrhoid problems when they tried certain exercises. I think maybe there should be a warning in the stickies about this danger.

**ACPreE** · 02-14-2020

Originally Posted by WoodWork

And contrary to some views this is not "just your problem" (not talking about you ACPreE). You are in this together and the same would be if she had a problem and needed help. So don't feel bad about yourself. Yes, it would be ideal (and as it should be) if you could just talk, get support and deal with it together. But sometimes you have to work with what you've got

No offense taken, but just to clarify when i mean its "Your problem" that is because it is. It is your muscle imbalance, it is your mental stat of mind, it is your body. Weather or not your gf or wife wants to help you with it is besides the point. Would it be nice to tackle a problem together and overcome it? Yes of course but if she isn't willing then its up to you to figure it out yourself.

This isn't meant to be a downer but more of an inspiration. An inspiration to push yourself no matter what. Lets not claim victim-hood status on our own issues. Not everyone who achieves greatness had a hand up. Be your own hand up and overcome.

**Jimmy_quick** · 02-15-2020

Originally Posted by PhilipKDick

Look at it this way, imagine you're either very skinny or very overweight. Your partner says she's fine with your body and she stays with you for years, which proves it. You're still self-conscious of your body though and you want to be physically better, healthier, stronger, for yourself. You decide to start going to the gym to work out, but you just need her to drive you there and back twice a week. Would she refuse and stand in the way of you fulfilling yourself or would she make a little effort for you, knowing that there's nothing in it for her? (It's a rhetorical question). That's the way we looked at the situation.

In general I am very dedicated to her I would expect the same from her. I would literally do everything for her whatever it costs me. Maybe thats the problem, i would expect the same from her side.. Sometimes deep inside me I have the feeling she does not want me to be cured. What could be the reason, I am not sure. Could it be she thinks when I perform better I can start thinking of other woman.. who knows..

Also you mentioned the hemorrhoids a while ago. I had the same thing, right around the time I started doing the stretches and RKs. Those f***ing things became a living nightmare and I ended up having to go to hospital because of them. I've also seen other people here mention hemorrhoid problems when they tried certain exercises. I think maybe there should be a warning in the stickies about this danger.

Yes, I indeed had issue with hemorrhoids and I had to stop the RKs for a while. Honestly I was seeing great benefit of the them so I started again. But this time very carefully with just slightly pushes and I worked on isolating the BC muscle, i.e. doing front RKs, which does not affect the anus area.

**Jimmy_quick** · 03-11-2020

Ok, some weeks have passed so it is time for update.

I decided to chnage a little bit my routine to basically decrease the time for streching and increase the RKs.

So I am working about 30-40 min everyday, except Friday, I do 10 min streching and 20-30 min RKs.

I already see results in edging, foreplay. However PIV is still the biggest obstacle for me. I am already mastering the RKs, i can bring my erection down in seconds, this however does not seems to help by piv. I have the feeling I have a button in my head called "ejaculate" and this button is pressed right after I put my penis inside vagina. This is very worrying having in mind that I ejaculate in seconds even the erection is at about 70%. Ideas?

I think there is something in my head I need to fight against, maybe we are putting more effort on the physical side of the issue, but the mental side is same or more important...

Just dont know in which direction to go from now on...

**Pegasus** · 03-11-2020

There is a thread in the stickies n arousal.

**Jimmy_quick** · 03-12-2020

Originally Posted by Pegasus

There is a thread in the stickies n arousal.

Thanks, I guess you refer to this one:
https://www.pegym.com/forums/premature-ejaculation-forum/27984-arousal-techniques.html

Will try to approach the problem more holistically and spend as much time on the mental side as the effort I am putting in physical exercises is not bringing me the desired results.
The issue I have is that I need to have a goal. With the physical part it is easy as I know where I am and where I want to be. With the mental side however I cannot put myself clear goal which confuses me and guess leads to the slow progress I am making.

**Pegasus** · 03-12-2020

Yes life is slushy.

**Jimmy_quick** · 06-05-2020

Long time no update, not much to report since the last post. In the last 3 months I am blocked at home because of covid, working together with wife and taking care of the kids, not easy times, and this is not helping my journey in fixing PreE.
Regarding routine and training. Haven't done much and haven't been very consistent. Spend most of the time stretching and performing light RKs from time to time. This is something I need to put back in track..
Due to the lack of privacy I also don't have the time to practice edging like previously.
Regarding sex, I had some very successful sessions with wife, but all the rest were mainly failures.
A few days ago I was a alone at home decided to try some edging, all in all successful session for about 30 min, I reached PONR 2-3 times and ejaculated at the end. The same day in the evening wife was in good mood and we went for it. Usually I go down to her and make her orgasm in the first 15min, afterwards I give it a try with PIV. Normally I reach PONR right after penetration and need to stop, if I dont stop i cum. This evening it was different, I guess because i ejaculated early during the day, so I managed to slow down and this initial urge of ejaculation disappeared. From this moment I felt I have tje control and we did it for about 15 min. In different positions... I felt like a real man, totally in control, when I was feeling the PONR approaching I needed to only push light RK and continue. At the end wife said she cannot take it anymore and I had to pull out. Honestly I felt I can go for 1 hour more, was rock hard 100% erection.
As good as the story above sounds all other times we had sex I came after penetration in about 20 sec...
What worries me is that wife and myself are on totally different opinions. She says she likes it when I get her off with oral and came shortly afterwards and dont like marathons, for me is just the opposite I really enjoyed these few sessions we had in the last months when I was having the control and lasted longer.
Now to take a note, all successful sessions we had were after I managed to get over this initial urge which on 90% of the cases I cannot handle.
So for me the new target will be to somehow suppress the initial urge after penetration as If i can go for a 1-2 min right now, I can make an hour, it is all or nothing situation.
Any tips or advice will be highly appreciated.
Cheers
Jimmy

**Jimmy_quick** · 06-09-2020

Sine my last update I started again with my routine. I have the feeling I am again getting very tensed in the PF, especially that I am spending the day sitting.

So what I am performing:
- 2 times per day in the mornings and everning I am doing yoga and streching which includes: hindi squat, happy baby pose, penguin pose, child pose.
I am trying to increase the time I am spending in hindi squat. For now I am doing total of 4x2min so around 10min in total. Will aim to make 10 min at once.

-performing light RKs during the day.

-something I never done fully until now is breathing exercises, so will try to do about 10min per day deep belly breathing.

Had sex 2 times in the last days.
First time was Saturday evening. We went outside with friends and had a nice time, I had 2 beers and a couple of glasses of wine. I am not drinking regularly so this for sure had an effect on my performance later that evening. I need to note that in the past alcohol never helped me with my PreE so i was not expecting any change this time. However I was wrong. We returned home later that night and had the most amazing and intence sex I ever had. I was 100% in control. Was able to do it for about 30-40 min, I mean deep penetrative sex on high speed, at the end I did not come as the wife said she cannot handle it anymore.

So far so good, fast forward to today evening.
It was one of these days that I was feeling my penis very sensitive the whole day. Not sure if it has something to do with the RKs and stretching, could it be I am naking my PF weak?
I somehow new it is not going to be my day.
So we started kissing and wanted to first get her off by going down on her. Usually when we first star kissing and playing around I am getting rock hard right away, however after giving her oral for about 10 min I lost erection and when she was done I needed some additional stimulation in order to get hard. She made me hand job for a while which was nice as I did not feel the PONR approaching as usual, afterwards she took my penis in her mouth and somehow felt the sensation fired my arousal to about 9 on the arousal scale. I wanted to enjoy long sex session so I decided to save some seconds by initiating sex. I went for doggy as this is thr possition I have success lately (I guess because I am performing also RKs in standing position in the last weeks). However somehow this sensitivity and tention I had during the blow job were still there, I couldn't stop myself and ejaculated on penetration.

I am pretty confident if I find a way to trap this initial urge in the first seconds I will be almost there. Right now the only method that works is to stop all movement after first penetration for about 30 sec. However wife hates me stopping and this is not an option for now.
I was also thinking of starting a kegel routine and be able to hold a hard kegel during this first minute? Does this works for someone?

**Jimmy_quick** · 01-03-2021

Long time no update on my log, I am however daily checking the forum, reading the stickies when have time, and reviewing old topics.
So far not much to update as I think I am in a standstill. Have been having again discussions with wife about how our sex life should look like. Since I am training I can say I have some good progress and some days I can last for longer time if I manage to go over the initial urge to cum. I somehow learned to enjoy sex that i was never able to do before, some days I have the feeling I can make sex for hours... Wife however does not like this, we have had constant discussions almost after every time after we have sex, she says she does not like to have long sex sessions... although she cannot define what longs means. Lately she started asking me to cum after 10-15 min, which really puts me down, the look in her eyes, like she does not enjoy it makes me feel bad.
I spent the last 2 years working on fixing my PreE and now when I see some light and finally started enjoying sex... she says she does not like it.
Really don't know what to do from now on, lost all motivation and feel disappointed.
For sure will continue with the exercises and maintain myself in good form, also my core is not strong enough so I will work on this.