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  • Thoughts?

    Hi,
    Early 40’s with 3 kids. Busy life, work /commute / kids etc. But I’m usually full of beans and most times no problem with ED. PE is a different story. Struggling for last 4 years. initially it happened every 1 in 3 times but for past 2 years it’s all the time. In conjunction with this I’ve had a very bad back- disc herniations , posterior pelvic tilt , pelvic torsion etc. Finally have found a good chiro who’s helping me with this and hopefully inadvertently will help my PE problem.
    Here’s my questions?
    With a busy life and young family , are there a few specific things/exercises I should do. Being honest it seems like a minefield from looking at the stickies. (edging /ballooning /fleshlight- not a chance I would have the privacy for this )
    I often wonder what people mean when they say they last 10 mins etc - is this gentle thrusting or full on.
    Currently I’m only able to have any control when she’s on top and even then I top out after a couple of mins. Mid to late 30’s I never worried about any of this but I reckon then I was good for about 5 mins piv. My wife seems to like it more when the rhythm is fast (once she gets a little warmed up) - this of course puts pressure on me at the moment
    Anyway any thoughts/insight appreciated.

  • #2
    I have an excuse for edging as I work from home and have my office on the upper floor/semi-attic which is only for that and I have some privacy.
    If I wouldn't have that chance, only solution would be to talk to the wife and ask her to edge with her. Similar to sex but the focus is on you for a change.
    I remember I wanted to train with a fleshlight and did some jokes to my wife to see her opinion and she looked wierd so I never pushed for it since then.

    Start with exercises. Streching from yoga poses, hindi squats, lower abs workout, anything that would get you into doing RKs easily while living your life. Have that in check and go from there.

    Comment


    • #3
      Sounds like with your busy schedule have you gotten out of shape?
      What i would recommend would be

      Start stretching the PF with hindi squats.
      Learn how to RK, RKs you can do standing sitting what not.
      You will need to correct your Posterior pelvic tilt which in most cases are muscle imbalances. I have anterior pelvic tilt but its almost gone.

      Stretch, RK and Exercise the weak muscles affecting your pelvic tilt.
      Some things can be combined.

      Hindi stretch with deep belly breathing and RKing at the same time. I do these for like 5-10mins while making breakfast in the morning and Dinner after i get home.

      Hope that helps a little. I know what its like to have no time for anything but it will take some dedication to fix it.
      My PE Thread
      4/5/19: BPEL 6' MEG 4.5'
      5/14/19: BPEL 6.45' MEG 4.75'
      Goal: BPEL 7.5' MEG 5.5'
      My PreE Thread

      Comment


      • #4
        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Yep as above^^^^^^^

        In addition a pPhysio might help with specific exercises to help your posture issues which are linked.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Pelvis View Post
          Hi,
          Early 40’s with 3 kids. Busy life, work /commute / kids etc. But I’m usually full of beans and most times no problem with ED. PE is a different story. Struggling for last 4 years. initially it happened every 1 in 3 times but for past 2 years it’s all the time. In conjunction with this I’ve had a very bad back- disc herniations , posterior pelvic tilt , pelvic torsion etc. Finally have found a good chiro who’s helping me with this and hopefully inadvertently will help my PE problem.
          I can understand. My PreE was always a problem, but the later I got in my 40s, the more it bothered me. Best to get your health in line, then work on other problems. If the chiro is helping, get advice on exercise, etc.
          (btw, the acronym "PE" is used here to refer to Penis Exercise or Penis Enlargement, so differentiate with "PreE")


          Originally posted by Pelvis View Post
          Here’s my questions?
          With a busy life and young family , are there a few specific things/exercises I should do. Being honest it seems like a minefield from looking at the stickies. (edging /ballooning /fleshlight- not a chance I would have the privacy for this )
          There is a great deal of information to parse, and it is best to read through and understand as much as possible, but many here will be willing to answer specific questions. And I should emphasize "specific". A lot of people just ask the same kind of questions that can be answered easily with the START HERE area.

          I do stealth PE, as I too have a family. I do some stretching in the morning before work, just in the bathroom as I get ready.
          I do edging in the shower in the evening. It can be done with some planning and a locked bathroom.

          As ACPreE said, you should work on Kegels and Reverse Kegels. These can easily be done during the commute, walking up stairs, etc. And a yoga/pelvic floor routine will do wonders for you. And can be done anywhere in front of the family.

          Originally posted by Pelvis View Post
          I often wonder what people mean when they say they last 10 mins etc - is this gentle thrusting or full on.
          Currently I’m only able to have any control when she’s on top and even then I top out after a couple of mins. Mid to late 30’s I never worried about any of this but I reckon then I was good for about 5 mins piv. My wife seems to like it more when the rhythm is fast (once she gets a little warmed up) - this of course puts pressure on me at the moment
          Anyway any thoughts/insight appreciated.
          I was a one to two minute man, now I can go 20 to 30 minutes PIV. In that I can often do 10 minutes (or longer) straight thrusting. My wife can go on top for as long as she wants. It is possible.
          The thing is to approach it holistically. Look at lifestyle, diet, and pelvic floor. Aerobic exercise is a big factor. As is eating well.
          Good luck,
          03/2015 Start <Able to last ~ 2 mins PIV>
          Thread
          12/2019 EL: +2.2 MEG: +1 <Able to last 60+ mins PIV>

          Comment


          • #6
            20-30 min a day is all that is needed for the bulk of the work. More then that and you can become obsessed with fixing it and that’s just as dangerous. I personally found little help from edging but I believe a lot of my issues came from the mind-penis connection. Once I got that down I found relaxing the PF to be possible during sex. I could rk all day long, put my woman in front and my heart rate went up, breathing went to hell and and the PF was like, I got this dude I know what to do. In the morning when I’m drinking coffee, I sit there and close my eyes, do a full bod scan from top to bottom. Feel every muscle and body part. Relax any of them that feel tense. I do this all while doing a 4-4-4 breathing. Also while doing that breathing throughout the day I RK on the inhale and hold, 8 seconds there total, I kegal on the 4 sec exhale. You won’t believe how detached we can become from our body and it’s like our dicks are detached from our bodies. Get that connection back. Also when your thinking about other things during sex besides just your pleasure the mind thinks you are scanning the environment and to be safe the reptile brain goes let’s nut and get the hell out of here. The other day I was rode for 45 min straight and I didn’t notice even her after while. The room could have been on fire and the only thing I could feel was intense pleasure radiating from my penis. The tip feels good so you have to move that pleasure to other parts of your body, your other eroticised parts and you cannot do that if you can’t even sit in a chair and close your eyes and feel your elbow, etc without physically touching it. All that mental work can be done right in the middle of your family and work. You need to do constant body checkins with yourself through your day and control your PF. It’s an everyday lifestyle change and those minutes add up and you get better at utilizing those minutes. And when you edge, edge to sensation and a neutral PF and change your position each time you edge. Do weird shit so your body doesn’t form habits. It’s funny I have a thread and I get alittle into these mental exercises and no one cares to ever really ask questions. Mental work, physical conditioning and control of your PF. Throw some edging in there when you can and tell your wife to slow it down. Lots of foreplay to slow your body down and concentrate on how your body is feeling. Men tend to go straight for sex when we give woman lots of foreplay and do zero check in’s with ourselves. Sex is neck down. Keep your brain and thoughts out of it so to give your brain something positive to do have your mind control breathing nice and slow and deep breaths.

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi folks,
              Firstly I want to thank you all for your comments and help. I’ve decided I need to take action on this. Yes I know I have body issues and daily pain but surely I can sort this. I do think a lot of my early ejac problems have been caused by a combo of bad posture which has led to disc and pelvic pain plus all my failed attempts has screwed me up mentally.
              I have looked at logs people keep - I’m going to try start working on my own.
              This week so far have had sex twice - both times she was on top and I wore condom. First time I done reasonably- maybe 4-5 mins but asked her to slow a little a couple of times. Second time was last night - a disaster. Got the condom on was struggling a bit with eq and then I got these involuntary pulses and came immediately 😰.
              Today went for a run- some Hindi squats ( not sure I’m doing these right as I just stay in the squat - wide legs and relax there (find these relatively easy for about 5 mins ). Had an edging session for nearly 40 mins, after 30 mins I got some involuntary movements again and slowed and forced a kegel which seems to help keep involuntary spasms away temporarily. Also opened up to my wife last night- she told me if I need to relieve myself before ya having sex then she’s fine with that. Anyone any thoughts on whether this is a good idea or not. Anyhow my plan is to continue squats, some edging (20 mins min), use cock ring and condom during sex and some yoga / stretches .
              Any thoughts appreciated?
              Also I have tailbone pain aswell - this is obviously May be related to posture issues. Anyone else had tailbone pain where it’s sore to touch massage. Thanks in advance and apologies for the essay

              Comment


              • #8
                Update
                Continue to go to chiro twice a week.
                Not doing much exercise at present because since my run I’ve had some more pain.
                1 edging session- went ok about 25 mins with some pauses when i got the IK’s.
                Got bj the other night from wife - tried cock ring but she didn’t like it as said it was too hard! Strangely enough reached the ponr quite quickly with it on - usually get 5-7 mins without it.
                RK’s are a bit of a struggle as it hurts with too much pressure

                Comment


                • #9
                  Ok so I’ve continued doing mainly Hindi squats and some tennis ball rolling. Tried some swimming - tad sore after that. Chiro appointment tomorrow.
                  So word of warning to others maybe. I tried some pau yeun tong a couple of times. Why? Because being honest you feel a bit desperate at times. Anyway safe to say I won’t do it again. First application- felt stinging and EQ was bad. 2nd attempt I literally put a tiny amount on frenulum and under glands. I couldn’t even edge - again EQ miserable. Advice to others is that this is not worth it - you don’t want to deal with ED as well as Prem E.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Have you tried a physio yet?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hey bud, chiropractor visits are not a bad idea.
                      Might I recommend looking up an MAT practitioner near you? Muscle Activation Techniques. Does flipping wonders for my legs, hips, back, shoulders, neck.... Helping get your discomfort under control may be a good step forward.

                      Beyond that, there is a lot of knowledge here, heed advice from the champs and do your due diligence.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
                        Have you tried a physio yet?
                        Yes, this posture related issue is ongoing for a couple of years now. Every therapist under the sun has been tried. As I’m an ex-athlete who has represented his country running, I have the dedication but alas it’s been quite frustrating putting in lots of effort and as of yet not a massive improvement. I’ll continue on my path (have around 8 chiro appointments and I’m hoping to see more improvements). I’m convinced that this is why I’m on these forums looking for help as before all this I was probably normal enough. I really appreciate all the support

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Pelvis View Post
                          Yes, this posture related issue is ongoing for a couple of years now. Every therapist under the sun has been tried. As I’m an ex-athlete who has represented his country running, I have the dedication but alas it’s been quite frustrating putting in lots of effort and as of yet not a massive improvement. I’ll continue on my path (have around 8 chiro appointments and I’m hoping to see more improvements). I’m convinced that this is why I’m on these forums looking for help as before all this I was probably normal enough. I really appreciate all the support
                          In recent times the physio have moved into male pelvic floor work a person working in this area might be worth a consult .

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
                            In recent times the physio have moved into male pelvic floor work a person working in this area might be worth a consult .
                            Yes that’ll be the plan if I can’t make some progress with the chiro, edging, Hindi squats and hill walking

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Carguy88 View Post
                              Hey bud, chiropractor visits are not a bad idea.
                              Might I recommend looking up an MAT practitioner near you? Muscle Activation Techniques. Does flipping wonders for my legs, hips, back, shoulders, neck.... Helping get your discomfort under control may be a good step forward.

                              Beyond that, there is a lot of knowledge here, heed advice from the champs and do your due diligence.
                              Thanks - unfortunately I don’t see any mat practitioners in my area.

                              Comment

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