Involuntary kegel

[stillhoping Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close stillhoping]

Hello, I’ve been reading this forum on and off for years. The success stories are inspiring. I’ve had PE since becoming sexually active as a teenager; I’m now 32 and have been married eight years. My marriage has persisted despite my PE, but it has created problems between my wife and me throughout entire 12-year relationship. I’m devastatingly insecure about sex.

In any event, I hope to overcome PE. I’m otherwise happy and successful, relatively, but deeply frustrated that I can’t beat this. About a year ago, I seemed to be on the path but then got derailed. I haven’t been able to get back on track since then. In the meantime, I tried Paxil. But it did nothing for me. Lately my PE seems to have gotten worse.

So I recently rededicated myself to curing my PE. I’m focusing primarily on relaxing my pelvic floor and doing reverse kegels. I’ve noticed during masturbation that if I touch the head of my penis, I get a very strong, almost violent, involuntary kegel. In fact, the contraction of my BC muscle (if I have my anatomy correct) seems identical to that which happens during orgasm. The stimulation of my head during sex and the resulting contraction, it seems almost certain to me, is causing my PE.

Two questions: I presume this involuntary kegel is abnormal? Any thoughts about how to get rid of it?

Thank you all.

[Johnny D ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Johnny D]

It is normal. It's a physiological function - there for the purpose of inducing orgasm upon stimulation - for the benefit of efficient procreation. What you have to do is learn how to control and manage it. It's gonna take a while so you have to be patient, but you can absolutely train yourself to have fewer, lighter, and more controllable responses to stimulation. Are you masturbating or are you edging? In other words, is it for pleasure or is it with the purpose to train yourself to last longer? It needs to be the latter - you have to teach yourself to control your response to stimulation and, if you're just masturbating without that goal in mind, you're exacerbating your issues.

[stillhoping Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close stillhoping]

Thanks, Johnny D. I've been practicing edging to control my response to the IK. I also started reading threads by individuals who, like me, seemed doomed to suffer from PReE forever but managed to overcome it. As a result, I'm trying to correct APT, which I self-diagnosed myself with. More RKs than I had been doing, better posture while I'm sitting 8 hours per day, Hindu squats, bridges, stretches, sitting on a tennis ball while I'm driving to and from work, monitoring tension in my PF, etc.

I started on Monday and have already seen results. My PF seems much less tense. The IKs are less intense when edging. And I have more control over arousal. For instance, I can reduce my arousal using RKs. It's been very rare that I've been able to reduce arousal. It was like once I started, I was off to the races. I haven't tried during sex yet, but I hope even this small progress helps. I'm hoping that in a month or so, with sustained effort, I'll see significant results.