Hi everyone,
I am 31 and have struggled with PreE my entire life. With a few rare exceptions (girls i have been particularly comfortable with) i never seem to last more than a minute or two if i try really hard. I have used hard drugs and alcohol for much of my life to try and forge some illusion of endurance / confidence with new women, which occasionally works to different degrees.
When i was 17, i became so insecure about the issue i ordered SSRI's (anafranil) off a website just to try to get through my first experiences with some element of self worth intact. These worked sometimes but made me throw up occasionally and destroyed my EQ.
Like most people on here, i have read almost every website that exists on the subject and have found no concrete solutions - each person seems to have their own challenges, so there is no one size fits all.
Anxiety and lack of confidence has been a big part of my life, and i know this is something that i need to address as part of my recovery. I was diagnosed with OCD in my early twenties and i struggle with intrusive thoughts during sexual experiences. This makes it very hard for me to stay in the moment, and when an intrusive thought does occur, it can sometimes take me to the PONR and beyond as my entire body clenches up. I then mistake this for arousal / the reason why i busted in the first place and i go through a self destructive cycle of guilt and shame that can last for days / weeks / months. It makes edging without porn a very difficult undertaking for me, but i will try. The one positive of my diagnosis was that i was legitimately placed on a very high dose of SSRI's (Zoloft 150mg) which totally fixed the PreE problem, and sometimes made it hard to cum, however i have phased these pills out while i try to recover from my mental health issues in a natural way. Sure enough, the PreE is back and i plan on knocking it on the head in the same way.
I am now in a loving relationship where the sex began at a (for me 'respectable') 2 minute time, but during COVID lockdown i barely get past a thrust or two without busting. This is causing me untold emotional pain and embarrassment, as all i want to do is please her. I would like to settle down with this girl but at the same time i realise it is unsustainable for her if i cannot satisfy her. We spend the majority of our time together, especially during the pandemic, so purchasing a fleshlight may be out of the question for now.
Based on what i have been reading here over the last few weeks, i have been focusing a lot on the mindset side of things (as i know performance anxiety and intrusive thoughts are dealbreakers for me) and am meditating between 15mins-1 hour a day. I am also working on my RKs and have realised how i walked around my whole life with my entire body clenched up, abs tensed, pelvic floor sucked in and balls tucked up. No wonder i can't keep my shit together. I think i have a decent grip on my RKs while sat, standing and walking, but i am struggling to implement it in the bedroom. As well as this, i am working on the pelvic floor and stretching out and doing relaxation techniques as much as possible. When the coast is clear, i try to get an edging session in, but we are both locked in the house, and the worry of getting caught probably doesnt help. I have only once managed to edge to the 7 minute mark, today i edged for about 20 seconds before an intrusive thought and PONR.
I read a very long thread in here by a guy called AcePre (or something like that) where he documented his triumph, despite it taking him close to 9 months to do so. I want to get there too and prove to myself that i can beat PreE - and if i can beat it, y'all sure as fuck can too.
Anyway thats my intro i'd love to hear any positive experiences or initial thoughts and feedback people can provide on a routine. I plan on posting in here as / when i have an update worth sharing. A daily diary is unrealistic, but i will remain committed to posting the ups and downs when they happen so that the log is there for others to see.
I really appreciate everyone in here sharing all their experiences, you've made me believe recovery is posssible.
I am 31 and have struggled with PreE my entire life. With a few rare exceptions (girls i have been particularly comfortable with) i never seem to last more than a minute or two if i try really hard. I have used hard drugs and alcohol for much of my life to try and forge some illusion of endurance / confidence with new women, which occasionally works to different degrees.
When i was 17, i became so insecure about the issue i ordered SSRI's (anafranil) off a website just to try to get through my first experiences with some element of self worth intact. These worked sometimes but made me throw up occasionally and destroyed my EQ.
Like most people on here, i have read almost every website that exists on the subject and have found no concrete solutions - each person seems to have their own challenges, so there is no one size fits all.
Anxiety and lack of confidence has been a big part of my life, and i know this is something that i need to address as part of my recovery. I was diagnosed with OCD in my early twenties and i struggle with intrusive thoughts during sexual experiences. This makes it very hard for me to stay in the moment, and when an intrusive thought does occur, it can sometimes take me to the PONR and beyond as my entire body clenches up. I then mistake this for arousal / the reason why i busted in the first place and i go through a self destructive cycle of guilt and shame that can last for days / weeks / months. It makes edging without porn a very difficult undertaking for me, but i will try. The one positive of my diagnosis was that i was legitimately placed on a very high dose of SSRI's (Zoloft 150mg) which totally fixed the PreE problem, and sometimes made it hard to cum, however i have phased these pills out while i try to recover from my mental health issues in a natural way. Sure enough, the PreE is back and i plan on knocking it on the head in the same way.
I am now in a loving relationship where the sex began at a (for me 'respectable') 2 minute time, but during COVID lockdown i barely get past a thrust or two without busting. This is causing me untold emotional pain and embarrassment, as all i want to do is please her. I would like to settle down with this girl but at the same time i realise it is unsustainable for her if i cannot satisfy her. We spend the majority of our time together, especially during the pandemic, so purchasing a fleshlight may be out of the question for now.
Based on what i have been reading here over the last few weeks, i have been focusing a lot on the mindset side of things (as i know performance anxiety and intrusive thoughts are dealbreakers for me) and am meditating between 15mins-1 hour a day. I am also working on my RKs and have realised how i walked around my whole life with my entire body clenched up, abs tensed, pelvic floor sucked in and balls tucked up. No wonder i can't keep my shit together. I think i have a decent grip on my RKs while sat, standing and walking, but i am struggling to implement it in the bedroom. As well as this, i am working on the pelvic floor and stretching out and doing relaxation techniques as much as possible. When the coast is clear, i try to get an edging session in, but we are both locked in the house, and the worry of getting caught probably doesnt help. I have only once managed to edge to the 7 minute mark, today i edged for about 20 seconds before an intrusive thought and PONR.
I read a very long thread in here by a guy called AcePre (or something like that) where he documented his triumph, despite it taking him close to 9 months to do so. I want to get there too and prove to myself that i can beat PreE - and if i can beat it, y'all sure as fuck can too.
Anyway thats my intro i'd love to hear any positive experiences or initial thoughts and feedback people can provide on a routine. I plan on posting in here as / when i have an update worth sharing. A daily diary is unrealistic, but i will remain committed to posting the ups and downs when they happen so that the log is there for others to see.
I really appreciate everyone in here sharing all their experiences, you've made me believe recovery is posssible.
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