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  • Mental Refractory Period

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Thread: Mental Refractory Period

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  1. 06-26-2020 #1
    DrJohnson100
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    Hi there,

    Whenever I have sex or masturbate, I have almost zero desire to try again within the same day.

    1) I physically CAN and have, but it's almost half hearted, so to speak.

    2) I don't watch porn

    3) As my title says, it's like a mental refractory period.

    Is this something that can be changed? I would love to start having sex multiple times a night with my gf, but after we do it, the thought of cuddling and watching a movie, or going out to eat, or whatever, is much more appealing.

    I would like to maintain my horniness!
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  2. 06-26-2020 #2
    Jay1983
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    How old are you? Had a hormone panel lately?
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    In God we trust!
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  3. 06-26-2020 #3
    DrJohnson100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay1983 View Post
    How old are you? Had a hormone panel lately?
    I am 29.

    No I have not.
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  4. 06-26-2020 #4
    madyogi
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrJohnson100 View Post
    Hi there,

    Whenever I have sex or masturbate, I have almost zero desire to try again within the same day.

    1) I physically CAN and have, but it's almost half hearted, so to speak.

    2) I don't watch porn

    3) As my title says, it's like a mental refractory period.

    Is this something that can be changed? I would love to start having sex multiple times a night with my gf, but after we do it, the thought of cuddling and watching a movie, or going out to eat, or whatever, is much more appealing.

    I would like to maintain my horniness!
    Ever looked into Dry Orgasm (DO) or Multiple Male Orgasms (MMO)? It can be a bit anti-climactic for your partner if part of her satisfaction is seeing you blow, but not ejaculating during the first sexual session might allow for more desire later in the evening. Plus, if you get her off hard early then tell her you're saving it up another go later, she might actually dig that.

    Question - How far apart are these sessions? I mean are having a go early, then she wants to go again later, or are you finishing before she is ready to quit, and you're wanting to get it back up to keep going?
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    START : 2/6/2020
    BPEL : 5.875" - BaseEG : 5.25" - MSEG : 5.0"
    CURRENT : 2/10/2021
    BPEL : 7.875" - BaseEG : 5.625" - MSEG : 5.5"

    BPEL GOAL : 7.5+" - MSEG GOAL : 5.75+"

    MadYogi's PE Log
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  5. 06-26-2020 #5
    peforever
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    I think it is related to libido. I edge every day and cum would love to have sex at night every night (we usually have sex about 3 times week). Since I edge all the time during PE routine for about 1.30 hrs 5 days a week, I would not be able to do anything else if I don’t cum and after few hours I am ready for sex.

    I have pre-e, but I have gotten better at lasting longer specially in sown positions (example standing I can go for very long time). Todua in morning, I had sex and since mornings I usually have very tight pelvic floor, I came and basically continued immediately, but as you say, it doesn’t feel as great as the first time, but still good.

    You can try supplements (Some last few days) and ED medication (cialis is amazing).
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    Started 7/15/2017
    Starting Stats:
    BPEL 14 cm
    TEG 10.4
    MEG 11.4
    BEG 12.4

    Current Stats:
    BPEL 17 CM
    TEG 11.7
    MEG 12.7 CM
    BEG 13.7
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  6. 06-26-2020 #6
    DrJohnson100
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    Quote Originally Posted by madyogi View Post
    Ever looked into Dry Orgasm (DO) or Multiple Male Orgasms (MMO)? It can be a bit anti-climactic for your partner if part of her satisfaction is seeing you blow, but not ejaculating during the first sexual session might allow for more desire later in the evening. Plus, if you get her off hard early then tell her you're saving it up another go later, she might actually dig that.

    Question - How far apart are these sessions? I mean are having a go early, then she wants to go again later, or are you finishing before she is ready to quit, and you're wanting to get it back up to keep going?
    I would like to learn MMO indeed. I'm working on that.

    To be clear, it doesn't seem like our sessions are lacking. I make sure she gets off every time just about and she seems perfectly content to snuggle afterward. Maybe she wants more but she has never made this clear.

    This is more for my own confidence, I suppose, if that makes any sense.

    My gf and I do not live together yet. So the sessions would need to be in bed and close together, since we see each other after work at night.

    Once we move in together, then there is a question of sex multple times a day spaced out. I think the latter would be more my speed, so to speak.

    All in all, I don't know if this is a problem, per se. Maybe I just need to learn to accept my libido for what it is.
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  7. 06-26-2020 #7
    DrJohnson100
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    Quote Originally Posted by peforever View Post
    I think it is related to libido. I edge every day and cum would love to have sex at night every night (we usually have sex about 3 times week). Since I edge all the time during PE routine for about 1.30 hrs 5 days a week, I would not be able to do anything else if I don’t cum and after few hours I am ready for sex.

    I have pre-e, but I have gotten better at lasting longer specially in sown positions (example standing I can go for very long time). Todua in morning, I had sex and since mornings I usually have very tight pelvic floor, I came and basically continued immediately, but as you say, it doesn’t feel as great as the first time, but still good.

    You can try supplements (Some last few days) and ED medication (cialis is amazing).
    I don't want to introduce ED meds if I don't have to, for obvious reasons. It's complicated because I can physically get an erection pretty soon after. I just don't really have that mental drive to have sex. I might look at Maca as a supplement though, since that is "natural."
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  8. 06-26-2020 #8
    Pegasus
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    This is within the normal range of libido .
    Have you had a hormone panel if so what were the numbers?
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  9. 06-26-2020 #9
    madyogi
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrJohnson100 View Post
    I would like to learn MMO indeed. I'm working on that.

    To be clear, it doesn't seem like our sessions are lacking. I make sure she gets off every time just about and she seems perfectly content to snuggle afterward. Maybe she wants more but she has never made this clear.

    This is more for my own confidence, I suppose, if that makes any sense.

    My gf and I do not live together yet. So the sessions would need to be in bed and close together, since we see each other after work at night.

    Once we move in together, then there is a question of sex multple times a day spaced out. I think the latter would be more my speed, so to speak.

    All in all, I don't know if this is a problem, per se. Maybe I just need to learn to accept my libido for what it is.
    Dude, you're 29, right? To be honest, your libido seems totally fine. You want sex multiple times a week. You get your girl off, and your girl gets you off. I would just work on extending the single session, getting her off multiple times maybe. This seems like a non-issue to me, like it's kind of in your head, especially if your girl isn't "complaining" about it. Now, if she were complaining, I'd look into to withholding ejaculation the first time, but otherwise what I suggested earlier still stands.

    A deeper question is, what is it about your psychology that makes you want (or feel like you should) have multiple sessions in a day if you're not really "into it"? Is this a head game you're playing with yourself, or is this brought on by things your girl has said?
    Last edited by madyogi; 06-26-2020 at 04:58 PM.
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    START : 2/6/2020
    BPEL : 5.875" - BaseEG : 5.25" - MSEG : 5.0"
    CURRENT : 2/10/2021
    BPEL : 7.875" - BaseEG : 5.625" - MSEG : 5.5"

    BPEL GOAL : 7.5+" - MSEG GOAL : 5.75+"

    MadYogi's PE Log
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  10. 06-26-2020 #10
    DrJohnson100
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    Quote Originally Posted by madyogi View Post
    Dude, you're 29, right? To be honest, your libido seems totally fine. You want sex multiple times a week. You get your girl off, and your girl gets you off. I would just work on extending the single session, getting her off multiple times maybe. This seems like a non-issue to me, like it's kind of in your head, especially if your girl isn't "complaining" about it. Now, if she were complaining, I'd look into to withholding ejaculation the first time, but otherwise what I suggested earlier still stands.

    A deeper question is, what is it about your psychology that makes you want (or feel like you should) have multiple sessions in a day if you're not really "into it"? Is this a head game you're playing with yourself, or is this brought on by things your girl has said?
    I think you're 100% correct when you say it's in my head. As to why, I think I spent too much time, especially recently, on some Internet forums (not this one!) where people are talking about their 3 hour, multiple times a night sex sessions with everyone moaning at the top of their lungs.

    Of course, the Internet is not filled with truthtellers.

    Working on MMO and having longer sessions is MUCH more appealing to me than multiple ones.

    Your reply made me feel better, thank you. It's only been recently that I had these doubts. I've had many partners and tried many things, and yet, silly online comments can do that!

    Stay off the Internet kids
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