Is a lot of this in our heads?

[rt189]

Hi guys.

So I've been experimenting with a few different methods from this forum, to tackle my PE. Daily hindi squats, APT exercises, reverse kegels. On top of this, I've began edging every other night with a fleshlight STU. In terms of what has been most the beneficial so far, edging has been absolutely vital to me.

I've wedged the STU to made it as realistic as possible, so I can get into missionary position. I've also been using headphones, and it sounds silly but I've been looking into 'porn for the blind' to assist with conditioning! This is pretty hardcore training, and I recommend it for anyone interested. I've been attempting to do 'edging plateau' training, trying to maintain a reasonable amount of pleasure but enough to keep control, without reaching the PONR.

One thing I've noticed is that my body immediately goes haywire when something particularly turns me on. I can literally go from 0-10 in no time at all, if the sounds in the clips I'm listening to are highly arousing to me I reach the PONR almost immediately. The same thing has always happened when watching penetrative sex (only) in porn. As well as actually having sex. On the other hand though, I can masterbate as hard and fast as possible without audio/visual stimulation. And I've had various occasions in the past where I have been able to get handjobs/blow jobs at 'full mast' for ages, almost to the point where I would consider myself as someone with delayed ejaculation!

So my question is, has anyone else experienced this issue? It definitely seems a lot more psychological than anything else! Almost like my mind is subliminally telling my dick to reach orgasm on Que for certain things, whereas with other things I can maintain stimulation for as long as I want!

[Pegasus]

So arousal control is an issue for you ?

This is worth reading .
https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...-response.html

[Physdoc]

Can many sexual dysfunctions be "in the head" of the sufferer? Yes. Sure, they can stem from physical causes, too, but psychological causes are common and almost as common, they are denied by the sufferer of the condition.

[Benny]

I know for myself that there is a mental side to it. If you look at the studies there is a connection between people who struggle with ejaculation and depression or anxiety. so if you struggle with either its good to attack those issues along with the physical issues of PE. If you don't and you find yourself going through the arousal states quickly like you're saying; it may be worth exploring the small details.

What does your body do?
What does your mind do?
Whats your perspective of sex and women in general?


If you think about it a really confident person probably doesn't struggle with this. So what came first the stamina or the confidence? it's hard to tell but id be hard pressed to say that the really confident dude was only confident because he could last long, its usually something that is part of the original thought process.

your mind is much quicker than you are so you need to really take notice, maybe write it down then take notice more. The more self aware you are the more you know what to work on.

These are my two sense as someone who's trying to figure out the key to figuring my own PE out, as I wonder about the psychological side as well. I think its pretty possible to change the neurochemichal soup.

[rt189]

Thankyou for your responses.

@pegasus - Cheers for the link! It's a loong read! But it'll definitely help me. Arousal control is definitely an underlying issue for me and I would say the primary contributing factor to my PE. I'm off work today, so suppose I can do some 'light' reading! 🥴

@Physdoc - You have a good point there, in that many men will deny (or at least underestimate) the psychological side of this issue, when It may be the main barrier to success! It has taken me a long time to face this side of the issue personally.

@Benny - I would say anxiety/depression and PE are entwined. In that naturally PE will affect an individual's mood and self esteem, it's almost like a vicious circle really. In that it affects your confidence as a man, in many other aspects of life too. Generally speaking I am an optimistic person and I believe the only way to resolve a problem is head on, but it is easy to get overwhelmed at times, as I am sure many others feel the same.

You've definitely hit the nail on the head with looking beyond the direct issue, by analysing the way you view sex and women in general from a personal perspective. Confident people are already confident in their sexual abilities, in that they have proven to themselves that they were capable of performing well many times previously. I would say that after a number of positive encounters, performance anxiety wouldn't even enter their mind (they are cocksure! Please excuse the terrible pun). Whereas with long term PE sufferers (psychologically), they are already setting themselves up for failure as a result of previous experience.

I don't know what your personal experience is, but I've found that discussing your problem with a partner definitely helps break down the mental side of it. It sounds incredibly obvious that it would be a positive step, but I'm sure you understand (coming from the same perspective as me) that it can be a tricky issue to approach. I've spent the majority of my sex life shying away from the elephant in the room (again, terrible pun), but it really does ease off a great deal of anxiety if you're both on the same page.

[Big Al]

The penis and the emotions are connected in away that many other parts aren't. If you're experiencing negative emotions then you can expect to have performance issues.

[MrsLooking4more]

Can many sexual dysfunctions be "in the head" of the sufferer? Yes. Sure, they can stem from physical causes, too, but psychological causes are common and almost as common, they are denied by the sufferer of the condition.

I agree with this, I can tell you that for me is a big thing if I don't get out of my head before getting sexy time going. Out brains are powerful and we need to try to be in the moment, hard to do sometimes with all the stuff going on around us.

[rt189]

Figured I'd provide an update on my situation.

So I've attempted my STU routine a number of times now (missionary thrusting into a flesh light, with headphones and porn sounds). The conclusion has always been that I have great difficulty in controlling my arousal levels on hearing any form of pleasure from the females in these sound clips.

I've tried an alternative session tonight. With everything exactly the same, And headphones on to block out any outside noise, but no sound at all. I've been able to confidently thrust away until my hearts content with a full erection. I finished at 10 minutes as I'm up early in the morning, I am convinced that I could have gone at least 2-3× as long. It's taken a long time, but I think I've definitely cracked my specific PE issue! I'm thoroughly convinced now that I am conditioned to orgasm through audio/visual stimulation. I'm sure there are many many men out there who have this specific (primarily psychological) issue too. I would urge everyone to attempt this test to see if it applies to you. Whether it be through use of a flesh light or just by hand.

[Big Al]

Have you attempted to use Emotional Visualizations in your training?