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Yon's Log and Diary
Hey everyone,
I can't believe I'm finally making this post.
I'm 24, in a relationship. I've had PreE ever since the first time I've had sex at 18. It's come and gone over the years, and I have no explanation for when it did go, but when it comes it's usually there to stay for a while.
It has recently come back with a vengeance. It wasn't there when my girlfriend and I had first gotten together, and when it started happening I freaked out. My anxiety level has shot through the roof, sex is terrifying, and my mind is constantly thinking of how bad next time is gonna be. Luckily (or maybe not?), me and my SO are very open about things - she had a hard time having sex when we started going out, which we used to talk about back then. So now, when it's my turn to have (crippling) problems in bed, we talk about it, too. I've told her about this website and that there's things that can be done and she's fully on board with me, which is a great relief.
I'm sick and fucking tired of this shit. It's time for me to enjoy myself and my partner, and it's incredibly unfair for me to punish to be punished this much mentally for something like this. I'm in a good place in my life and have a supportive partner, so I feel there's not better time to start.
LET'S GO.
Long-term goals:
Short-term goals (~1 month?):
I'll be following the PreE90 routine. Or, well, I've started two weeks(ish) ago but it hasn't been very uplifting. We had two times where I lasted for around five-ten minutes of very slow thrusting (the one mentioned just above), but others (including last time) were like literally 10 seconds.
Problems that have come up:
The following is a bit of a wall of text. It's more of a reference for myself and in order to be able to say "okay I'm in it for the long run this time!"
I'll start by answering the questions at the start of the PreE90 thread:
When masturbating:
When I masturbate, it's usually very short. Probably around a few minutes, sometimes more if I start/stop. I probably haven't ever used lube, except for soapy wanks in the shower once a while (during which I came super fast).
I just got a fleshlight, and have realized over the past week and a half that my pelvic floor is ridiculously tight. Doing RKs has suddenly made me notice how tight I am throughout the day. I purposefully relax for a moment and - whoop - the second I let go it tighten up. When I masturbate my PF is hard from the second I enter, and my RKs are currently way too weak to do anything about it. Every stroke, both inward and outward, comes with some further tightening (especially if I try RKing) or an IK. On a good note, I just isolated my weak front RK yesterday! My most sensitive part is definitely the glans and frenulum. I masturbate on my back, almost always. I am tense the second I realize I'm getting close and try to push it off (I mean body-tense, not PF-tense). I always used to ejaculate, and have almost always watched porn. Only stopped two weeks ago.
When having sex:
I'm tight af and start having IKs immediately on penetration. Same areas are sensitive. We mostly have sex in missionary and girl-on-top. I usually prefer the former because I can stop immediately, as my arousal SHOOTS up in a second. I'm super tense, to the point where my GF recently commented on it when I was only fingering her. My anxiety is ridiculous and I can feel my insides are practically swimming in stress hormones. I've managed to start intercourse not-as-excited as always by focusing on my breathing and relaxing my PF, but even having to focus on that made me nervous.
Wish me luck! If anyone has any input along the way I'd be very grateful!
I can't believe I'm finally making this post.
I'm 24, in a relationship. I've had PreE ever since the first time I've had sex at 18. It's come and gone over the years, and I have no explanation for when it did go, but when it comes it's usually there to stay for a while.
It has recently come back with a vengeance. It wasn't there when my girlfriend and I had first gotten together, and when it started happening I freaked out. My anxiety level has shot through the roof, sex is terrifying, and my mind is constantly thinking of how bad next time is gonna be. Luckily (or maybe not?), me and my SO are very open about things - she had a hard time having sex when we started going out, which we used to talk about back then. So now, when it's my turn to have (crippling) problems in bed, we talk about it, too. I've told her about this website and that there's things that can be done and she's fully on board with me, which is a great relief.
I'm sick and fucking tired of this shit. It's time for me to enjoy myself and my partner, and it's incredibly unfair for me to punish to be punished this much mentally for something like this. I'm in a good place in my life and have a supportive partner, so I feel there's not better time to start.
LET'S GO.
Long-term goals:
- Reduce mental anguish stemming from this BS. Fuck getting anxious just from thinking about intercourse.
- Be able to have sex until my GF cums, or at least for 5 minutes at a moderate speed (this may, of course, be revised).
Short-term goals (~1 month?):
- Relax my PF a bit in general and strengthen my front RKs.
- Get a tennis ball for PF massage (like, tomorrow, not this month ha)
- Stop myself from speeding up when masturbating because I'm "not close enough", so that I can actually get to lasting longer at a lower arousal level. Right now it feels like I'm arguing with a horny teenager hiding somewhere in my brain.
- Reach 1 minute of slow sex without reaching the PONR. I had a successful run recently of about ten minutes where I think I even plateau'd at like an 8, but only after being super close to the PONR and IKing like a mofo for a straight minute. This is, obviously, not very repeatable.
I'll be following the PreE90 routine. Or, well, I've started two weeks(ish) ago but it hasn't been very uplifting. We had two times where I lasted for around five-ten minutes of very slow thrusting (the one mentioned just above), but others (including last time) were like literally 10 seconds.
Problems that have come up:
- I'm hyper-flexible and have a very hard time feeling the pelvic stretches. Both the ones listed and most of the ones in the video (they do succeed at making my PF feel relaxed, though).
- My RKs are incredibly weak and don't stand up to my insanely tight PF.
- I'm not sure how to measure "time to first PONR" since I'm so aroused from the second I enter (both during masturbation and during sex). This is cause I rush things like hell.
The following is a bit of a wall of text. It's more of a reference for myself and in order to be able to say "okay I'm in it for the long run this time!"
I'll start by answering the questions at the start of the PreE90 thread:
When masturbating:
When I masturbate, it's usually very short. Probably around a few minutes, sometimes more if I start/stop. I probably haven't ever used lube, except for soapy wanks in the shower once a while (during which I came super fast).
I just got a fleshlight, and have realized over the past week and a half that my pelvic floor is ridiculously tight. Doing RKs has suddenly made me notice how tight I am throughout the day. I purposefully relax for a moment and - whoop - the second I let go it tighten up. When I masturbate my PF is hard from the second I enter, and my RKs are currently way too weak to do anything about it. Every stroke, both inward and outward, comes with some further tightening (especially if I try RKing) or an IK. On a good note, I just isolated my weak front RK yesterday! My most sensitive part is definitely the glans and frenulum. I masturbate on my back, almost always. I am tense the second I realize I'm getting close and try to push it off (I mean body-tense, not PF-tense). I always used to ejaculate, and have almost always watched porn. Only stopped two weeks ago.
When having sex:
I'm tight af and start having IKs immediately on penetration. Same areas are sensitive. We mostly have sex in missionary and girl-on-top. I usually prefer the former because I can stop immediately, as my arousal SHOOTS up in a second. I'm super tense, to the point where my GF recently commented on it when I was only fingering her. My anxiety is ridiculous and I can feel my insides are practically swimming in stress hormones. I've managed to start intercourse not-as-excited as always by focusing on my breathing and relaxing my PF, but even having to focus on that made me nervous.
Wish me luck! If anyone has any input along the way I'd be very grateful!
Member of the Month Sept 2017
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