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Question on "How to make love all night" by Barbara Keesling

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  • Question on "How to make love all night" by Barbara Keesling

    Hello fellow human beings,

    Disclaimer: I am not sure whether this post is adequate for the Pre E forum nor if I am allowed to directly quote from Keesling's book. But I think that her book is rather known and well received by the pegym-community. Hence my context and question:

    Context:
    On my way to beat Pre E I came across the arousal scale (1-10, You know the drill, I suppose). I registered that I usually skip levels 7-9 and ejaculate pretty fast when masturbating. In order to get to know myself better, I started to do "sensuate touches" which are touches not strokes. Keesling introduces this technique to get to know one owns body. But it is also a technique to arouse yourself. She emphasizes to not stroke your penis. When applying "touches" I usually do not get aroused enough to train my body (I dont get above level 6) but I can reach higher levels easier with strokes and moving my hips (by now moving my hips have become mandatory to climb the scale).

    Question:
    What do You guys think: is it okay - or even normal - to become more aroused by the stroking motion than "touching" my penis (esp. my glans). Am I failing to meet the goals of "sensuate touching" when my sensuate touches become sensuate strokes? Might I beeven programming my body in a worse way than before?
    I am usually using lube when touching and stroking/thrusting.

    Sorry in advance for my poor English,
    inject

  • #2
    Meh .

    Read the stickies start a progress log.

    Comment


    • #3
      I agree with Pegasus. I don't think those kinda things would work in your situation. Sounds like some stuff that would apply if you already last like 5-10 minutes and want to become a 30-45 min guy.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by inject View Post
        Hello fellow human beings,

        Disclaimer: I am not sure whether this post is adequate for the Pre E forum nor if I am allowed to directly quote from Keesling's book. But I think that her book is rather known and well received by the pegym-community. Hence my context and question:

        Context:
        On my way to beat Pre E I came across the arousal scale (1-10, You know the drill, I suppose). I registered that I usually skip levels 7-9 and ejaculate pretty fast when masturbating. In order to get to know myself better, I started to do "sensuate touches" which are touches not strokes. Keesling introduces this technique to get to know one owns body. But it is also a technique to arouse yourself. She emphasizes to not stroke your penis. When applying "touches" I usually do not get aroused enough to train my body (I dont get above level 6) but I can reach higher levels easier with strokes and moving my hips (by now moving my hips have become mandatory to climb the scale).

        Question:
        What do You guys think: is it okay - or even normal - to become more aroused by the stroking motion than "touching" my penis (esp. my glans). Am I failing to meet the goals of "sensuate touching" when my sensuate touches become sensuate strokes? Might I beeven programming my body in a worse way than before?
        I am usually using lube when touching and stroking/thrusting.

        Sorry in advance for my poor English,
        inject

        Yes, it's absolutely normal to become more aroused by stroking motion than merely touching penis. This is normal for everyone - whether one suffers from PreE or not. In case of PreE sufferers arousal spikes are so high that even touching can make one reach 10 on arousal scale. We PreE sufferers all tend to fast forward out arousal and reach PONR early. Since your arousal doesn't spike much mere touching, so it's a good sign. With less work you'll be cured, I think.

        I read that book by Barbara Keesling's a few months ago. If I remember correctly, you're referring to what Keesling described as 'Sensate Focus'. Right?

        In Sensate Focus you or your GF touches and/or rubs every bit of area on your dick while you just relax and feel the sensation on different parts of your penis. So you're are re-learning touching different parts of your penis feels in a relaxed manner. If arousal occurs or erection occurs or even ejaculation occurs - it doesn't matter. Just you don't play any role in it. Just relax and let go. Let happen whatever has to happen.

        So the sole purpose of 'Sensate Focus' for you is to train your body and mind to keep your pelvic floor completely relaxed while your dick is receiving stimulation of small scale.

        Sensate Focus is a good starting point for PreE sufferes to train their PF. But it's a bit boring, I must admit.

        I can give you an idea to spice up it. After a few days of plain vanilla Sensate Focus use light ballooning instead of mere touching while you try to keep your PF relaxed. It would be a good exercise. You'll also get to train your PF under moderate to high arousal. I did that for a few days.

        That book is a really good one, no doubt. But there are two caveats.

        1. That book is a bit old one. At that time PF dysfunction, RK were not much considered in case of PreE. Only available and popular tool was Kegel. This book relies completely on kegel, strong kegel and arousal control. So exercises, stretches etc were out of syllabus. LOL.

        2. That book is for those who are aiming for MMO. For one who is just starting out and right now have no such ambition, this is not of much use.

        Still read and re-read that book for the sake of under standing arousal scale and using that. And not more than that at this point if you're not aiming for MMO.

        Hope this helps.

        I'm also in the same boat. So eagerly waiting for your progress log. Please pay heed to Pegasus and start one.

        Thank you. Take care.
        Everyman
        Senior Member
        Last edited by Everyman; 12-22-2020, 09:19 AM.

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        • #5
          If you are aiming for mmo we have a group onsite and info on how to learn it .

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