PE is an impossible puzzle

[DickerSchwanz]

I agree.... What would you consider prolonged sex?

Yeah 20 is for sure prolonged sex if you count just straight fucking.
I guess most people have around 10 minute sex and I also guess most couples are fine with it.

I researched as a teen on the net about cumming too early and just decided to go for 2nd or 3rd round. Problem solved. Sometimes fucked all night my first gf`s.
Urge to ejac is too strong when body is programmed at the height of youth. Training against it seems like Ninja stuff at that point.

I can totally understand all young guys and their worries about it and panicked tries to solve it with sprays and techniques and shit lol.
But still most young guys can with some basics get to 5-15 minutes. Calming to normal arousal level and RK`s. Most guys writing here in Pre-E you can already see the way they write that they have no chill and that it goes beyond sex into their lifes in a detremential way.

The older one gets the more obvious that cumming too often drains energy though. Most older woman have no interest in fucking 1 hour in/out either.

But now it's easy to set my mind on it and what remains is training the body to go along with the program which like everything takes time and dedication.

No it's not.
It's not normal if you try to cum as fast as possible but cannot ejaculate in a few mins.
It is not normal if you try to not ejaculate and cannot hold it for a few mins.

That's your very exclusive self centered opinion about what's normal. You set as framing a goal that`s against normal human nature of using reproductional parts of their body.

What`s normal is what most bodies and reproductional parts do and most ejac as fast as possible.
But I agree that cumming within some pumps is annoying and can lead to an unsatisfactory sex life if one doesn't find a solution.
There are very simple ones though that don`t require fancy kegel techniques...

PE world motivation is motivation that goes beyond normal.
An overwhelming amount of humans, ~95%, fuck happily everyday for a very short amount of minutes with average dicks. Normal

[Anthony_gerio]

That's your very exclusive self centered opinion about what's normal. https://e5v4d7a2.stackpathcdn.com/fo...ilies/wink.png You set as framing a goal that`s against normal human nature of using reproductional parts of their body.

Again no, if a body is in balanced, you can easily prevent ejac. We are talking about people here who do not last 2 mins on a consistent way. A normal body can delay ejac for a few mins, and if not, it is not normal.

Self centred? lol , too much for a chilled guy who comes here and call others with some physical problems people out of their minds.

[DickerSchwanz]

Again no

You are simply wrong and keep insisting on being right using qualifiers that are exclusive to you and the "oh now I'm cumming crowd".
Sorry that's when it tends to get personal when people insist on being wrong..
Hundreds of Millions of people cum everyday FAST and dont give a fuck. its normal!

The body is designed to cum. YOU CAN NOT DISPROVE THAT. BASIC TRUTH. Tell me how its not designed to cum?

There's no gain for the body in fucking longer than getting as close to the cervix as possible and cum which happens by having the whole cock inside the pussy and getting aroused as much as possible which is the prime reason for pussy to be designed as it is.. to increase the arousal level of men to cum asap. Can't disprove that.

A "normal" person who doesn't cum within 2 minutes is just controlling their arousal level by the easiest way possible which is - FUCKING SLOWER and not buying into overdrive horny mind to keep fucking lol It's that easy!!! DO'h !!!

IK's are normal too. overriding them with an RK is a learned technique normal people dont do.

You cum, so what? Cum again! Your GF doesn't want you to cum again.. convicne her or get a less sexy and tight pussy.
You want to prolong your arousal, learn techniques

[Anklepain]

A "normal" person who doesn't cum within 2 minutes is just controlling their arousal level by the easiest way possible which is - FUCKING SLOWER and not buying into overdrive horny mind to keep fucking lol It's that easy!!! DO'h !!!

No, it is not easy! Even 20 second is very difficult for people suffering Pre E. Fucking slower doesn't help. I have tried it many times. It is already difficult to just stay in vagina without moving for 20 second.

You cum, so what? Cum again! Your GF doesn't want you to cum again.. convicne her or get a less sexy and tight pussy.
You want to prolong your arousal, learn techniques

Yep, I do go for second and third round all the time without a break.
The problem is almost all the women I have been with is:
- The pussy is not wet anymore after first round. This is my own exprience with over 80 different female with the second/third/fourth round. (There is a biological theory for this also)
- Her arousal have been drop dramastically after first round.
- She is going to be angry later on if sex is continuely bad.
- It is not even easy to last 2 min in second round if you have Pre E.
- Im 29 yo now. Someday in future when I have more age I maybe not able to go for second round anymore.
- I have had sex with stinky fat ugly women before. This didn't help my Pre E. It was the only time in my life I couldn't go for round 2.
-I have had sex with giant pussy also. This didn't help my Pre E.
- I needed to pickup new girls all the time because most of them "doesn't" have a time to see me again.

Overal im happy that I have Pre E. It force me to learn pick up girls and also learn to understand women more in general. I believe I can beat this Pre E in this year.

[DickerSchwanz]

OK.. I never had crazy PE where I cum everytime I have sex within seconds. That's truly a problem, sorry, if someone is truly in that position.

If it's the PF train RK`s and countering your IK`s. Need to put the time in. If too high arousal then learn to slow down doing masturbation or sex toys, even the worst PRe-e must have a sense of 1/10 arousal and 9/10 arousal.. find 6/10 7.5/10 9.3/10.

If that helps just a little bit then it means you need to do train it even more..
If it doesn't help at all then do much more and if that doesn't help you might've a physical or mental problem that might require medical attention.

If you make sure the girl has cum 1-3 times and had fun for some minutes before you put your dick in her then you cuming with the first stroke doesn`t matter. If you strive to be alpha male than you start boasting about it. if you a shy boi you go all cute about to her.. It shouldn't be a problem driving a lot of bad habits in your life like fucking girls you dont desire..

[WoodWork]

Ok, I got few more ideas for you to try (I haven't yet done a "success thread" as I want to be 110% in control first, but it's comming )

Warning: long post ahead

I'm guessing there are two things in your situation (maybe): getting the PF stretched/relaxed outside of sex and not tensing up while having sex. From what you wrote you managed to get it few times and it worked but then disappeared.

PF stretching:
(What you already do is great, that is RK's and hindi squats. Maybe try also light RK through out the day)

1. "Tennis" ball massage:
There are a few threads about it where you sit on a tennis ball. I do an advanced variation of this. Do a hindi squat so you have the PF opened up. Do it over a stack of books (or what ever so you can get the height right) and then sit on a ball. I also put a mat on top of the books so my pelvis bones have something soft to rest on. This way the ball has easy access to the muscles.

Also I don't use a tennis ball as it's unnecessarily hard (with a lacross ball being absurd). Got a set of three balls: soft foam, rubber filled with air and lastly the firmest but still having a soft layer. Go slowly, this should be a nice stretch feeling. Something like pushing on trigger points but without pain. When advancing and the balls going deeper in your PF you will notice that you need bigger balls but at the same time they don't fit between your pelvic bones. So to go deeper you have to DIY some pedestal for the ball you have so it's higher placed so it can dig in more (i can add a photo if needed)

Try different positioning of the ball (left, right, more to the tailbone, more to the front). I do it somewhat every day. Going through all the balls, and the last one on a pedestal, takes about 10-12 min. Never tried more. Also I do it in a pair of thin stretchy boxer shorts so there is not much fabric in the way.

2. Finger massage:
After that try the same but with your fingers instead of a ball. First of all with this you can feel your PF and have a connection with it, where and what is tensed up, and it's easier to evaluate your progress/current state. Because of this I do it naked so I can fully feel with my fingertips but maybe that not needed. Secondly you can dig in more but in a controlled matter where you can be careful not to hurt yourself while also apply pressure to where it is needed.

For me it's easiest to reach around while resting the back of the hand on the books. This way you can apply more force and not tire your hand. Go around all of the PF and see what's tense. I didn't feel the need to stick any finger in the anus but don't be afraid to massage the muscles going around the anus to the tailbone (that's the PC muscle and it goes right to the front so it also presses against the prostate).

First it was a bit painful to press on different parts of the PF. Even had weird things like pressing on the right side made something on the left feel uncomfortable. But after some time I have a nice soft PF that easily "lets go" and opens up when pressed. One additional trick to help relaxing is when applying pressure first squeeze that part of PF and then let go.


Not tensing up while having sex:

1. Edging with a fleshlight:
I would advise you to try again and best with a FL. If you were only using your hand (and possibly without lube) then that is nothing compared to a vagina. So not only are you training not on the level you need but also training to a completely different sensation (your bony hand vs a soft wet and hot vagina).

What I use edging for is getting use to the sensation and trying out/checking out new things and my progress. Also to masturbate day before a visit from FWB if I had a long break. If you can train with your wife it seems ok. I can't tell as I have a FWB that comes every weekend/two not every day. But I think the problem with a partner is that you can't fully take it as a training session instead of sex. There will be moments where she feels good or even coming close, where you will flip from "edging" to "I have to continue and not slow down" and tensing up.

If you have time and your wife is ok with it then buy yourself a FL, find some time to practice and go at your own pace. And while we're at FLs I would recommend buying a Quick Shot version (and then advancing to buying a second one and a connector). It's easier to clean and that is a dealbreaker. With a normal FL the hassle of washing and drying means that you will get "lazy" and revert to using your hand. For me I can't remember the last time I masturbated just using my hand, even with lube One thing about the size: a QS is tighter than a FL but with a 13cm girth I fit.

But the most important tip for a FL: advance from holding a FL in hand to propping it up somehow so you can thrust into it. This is a totally different game as you are moving your whole pelvis and it's hard to keep the PF relaxed.



2. Managing your IK's:
You may think you don't kegle when having sex but it's hard to notice sometimes. There is a bit of threads about IK's and the most common version is the pulsing IK's that look a bit like when you ejaculate. I sometimes have such reaction but rarely and that's not the problem. The other kind I have is that the feeling of thrusting makes the PF clench up. So for example if I thrust in the muscles try to tense up.

The most obvious test is while having sex, or better with a FL where you don't have distractions. If you can do a RK without much force try to do a RK, thrust in and see if you are still holding an RK. For me it wasn't so obvious as a RK while fully erect feels a bit elusive. But after the thrust try doing a RK again. If you can and feel the expansion then it means you lost the RK, if not then it means you kept it held.



If that's your problem try more simple things to dissociate that stimulus to the penis = tensing up of the PF:

Try tilting your pelvis or/and clenching your butt cheeks (the two movements involved in thrusting) while holding a light RK and see if your PF tenses up and you lose it. Try it standing, sitting, kneeling as in doggy, laying on your back and on your stomach. The stomach version has the added sensation of pressing your penis on the mattress which can trigger the response.

If anything happens try doing it slower. If that's not a problem try next levels. Try the same with an erection. Then if that becomes easy try holding your penis and stroking it while doing the movement. First even retracting my foreskin when tilting my pelvis made me lose my RK. Then you can advance to using the FL.

In the end I don't think you have to be 100% in control of it, but practicing it teaches your body to dissociate the two thing and then it happens on it's own in sex. At least that's how it happened for me. But maybe I should try to practice it also while having sex?

Also when you pee see if you can resist the final kegel to push out the last drops. And also try tilting your pelvis or/and clenching your butt while peeing. It should not interrupt your flow. Forgot about this myself, got to get back to it


Final thoughts:

So I think this could be the problem for you. One: needing to really target the PF for stretching, Two: not tensing up while having sex thus wasting all that preparation.

And as to the "my dick is to sensitive" sentiment:
Although the "I have Pre-E because I have a sensitive penis" seems logical, in fact it is a red herring. You already noticed that in few occasions you didn't have such a "sensitive penis" and could have sex. But it is the same penis, nothing change over a day. What I think is that the feeling of "sensitive penis" (that occasionally even feels like on the verge of busting from the get go) is the result of the PF being tensed up.

Currently my situation is that that feeling just went away, something I called a "ticklish penis" where it is so easy to jump up to 10 with just a bit of thrusting. I wanted to find a trick as to what to do when it happens on the spot but in the end the feeling went away as a whole from exercising outside of sex. And (knock on wood) I don't have it creeping back up so I can't even train what to do with it when i happens.

What I am still struggling is when my partner is in control of the thrusting and I can't change position, speed or angle. What should I do if "unluckily" in a certain position it seems I'm slowly advancing to PONR, but I cannot change anything as I'm not in control and I see the my partner decided that she wants to continue and finish in this position? Would be great to just do a RK or something and somehow gain the same effect as a small temporary change in speed, angle or position when I'm in control. Still working on it

And so anybody still thinking that sensitivity is the problem: it does not mean my penis is numb and that's why I have control and can even "pound" for a long time. It's quite the opposite. I feel more and in more detail while not feeling the "ticklishness" that pushes to PONR so fast, so I can enjoy the sensations. I even use hand cream on my penis daily so it is cared for and feels more.

I would compare it to getting a full body massage. If you don't like being touched, tense up and get ticklish then the whole massage will be uncomfortable, maybe even painful, and you won't feel the joy of it, cramp up and end it there. But if you can relax the you will feel more and enjoy the massage as long as you want. Similarly with Pre-E, if you tense up, the feeling is to much while being "without detail", you can't enjoy it and finish too fast. But if you can relax then you can feel more and longer.

And sorry again for the long post, but somehow it always ends up like this

[Johnny D]

If you make sure the girl has cum 1-3 times and had fun for some minutes before you put your dick in her then you cuming with the first stroke doesn`t matter.

It often does, though. If each of their goal is simply to orgasm, fine. But then he doesn't really even need to stick it in at all, I suppose. But many people enjoy the PIV experience. Many women do and would enjoy more than just one stroke. My wife is happy to orgasm prior to PIV and does just about every time. But she LOVES to orgasm when I'm inside her wand if she only wants one orgasm, she'll usually want to skip foreplay and "cut to the chase", as she likes to say.

[DickerSchwanz]

of course, and with some training or doing 2nd rounds this should be possible.
I`m just alerting people to not making it a bigger problem than it is, which makes the whole pre-e even worse for everyone involved incl. the partner.
If I cum early I`m not making a sad face and feel like something bad happened. I sell it as a great achivement :P Nothing worse than acting ashamed infront of a woman for something quiet normal. But yeah it can turn into a relationship problem if its always bad without any progress.. which mostly happens when men put themselves down.

[andrewvi7]

of course, and with some training or doing 2nd rounds this should be possible.
I`m just alerting people to not making it a bigger problem than it is, which makes the whole pre-e even worse for everyone involved incl. the partner.
If I cum early I`m not making a sad face and feel like something bad happened. I sell it as a great achivement :P Nothing worse than acting ashamed infront of a woman for something quiet normal. But yeah it can turn into a relationship problem if its always bad without any progress.. which mostly happens when men put themselves down.

That all sounds very idealistic.

If it was a one off then sure you can sell it off like that, but when PE practically ensures you're 'one pump chump' regardless of your confidence/anxiety, then it becomes a real problem. Yes sure you can make a girl cum in many ways without using your dick, but that too becomes a problem eventually as you practically become a man with a dick, that can't use his dick.

I've had personal experience with this where for some reason i lost my stamina over a few months, and spent around 4-6 months of that relationship not being able to last more than 5sec... when all that my girl ever wanted wasn't to cum, but she wanted to be fucked, the plain act of it is what she wanted, and i couldn't provide. Next thing you know her sex drive collapses, and her value of me along with it. We broke up in the end as many more issues spiralled out of that.

It's one of those things that unless you've had to deal with the extreme side of PE, you won't appreciate just how much damage it can do over the long term when the inadequacy is the only thing she has to look forward. And the funny thing is most women will try be supportive at first, tell you its not a big deal etc, but that shit changes when the realisation starts kicking in that this might be a long term thing. Some women might be ok just cumming and not really having an active sex life, but for those that want that, you're pretty much fucked unless you can fix it.

That whole young guys bust quick thing is bullshit too. Sure it happens when a guys is very inexperienced/new to sex and doesn't know what's what, but once you get a bit of experience you should be able to last just as long as any middle age adult, or even longer. Problem is about educating yourself about sex, the body, the pelvic floor, arousal etc. Unfortunately the only tutorials we get on how to have sex is through porn, and we all know how skewed that shit is. So thumbs up for forums like this where discussions and education in the matter is free and open to all. Just please please please, do not keep pushing on the norm that ejaculating prematurely is ok as it can be fixed, and if you dedicate your time to solving the issue regardless of your age, it is realistic and very much possible. Every person has the right to set standards for their own lives, some might be ok being a one pump chumps and rationalise it, while others simply refuse and need to have it fixed.

[venom888]

I agree. With my ex, I think we had good sex even with my constant start/stop etc, but I also liked to finger her or give oral, and after just a few minutes of either of those she would always get impatient and say she wants PIV. She could get off on fingering so it was strange to me she was always so eager to jump to PIV, but I definitely agree that most women will not be happy without PIV just because they can orgasm in other ways.

Also to say that cumming right off the bat is normal because that's all that's needed for reproduction I think is wrong. Afterall, it takes women much longer to orgasm, and other ways of getting them off aren't just a normal part of reproduction. Definitely we haven't evolved to have marathon sex or anything of that sort, as short sex is biologically advantageous (and monkeys do last like 30 seconds), but it could also be said that "normal" is something close to "average" and the average is several minutes. Average is also for it to be enjoyable, not frustrating.