Question about limiting orgasms masturbating while in active relationship

[skyisthelimitpe]

Wannabepro I'm wondering if in your case hitting yoga class a few times a week would be beneficial for you. The reason why I avoid yoga right near is because stretching my hip flexors will make things worse and that was the case in a yoga class I did not too long ago.

Perhaps martial arts too? Just throwing some things out there

[Wannabepro]

I appreciate you offering suggestions! After spending the last couple months following a lot of advice I’ve seen online, I’ve come to realize that I think psychological issues are the biggest contributing factor for me. When I’m relaxed and calm, I can masturbate for as long as I want without ever really approaching the PONR. Even if I know IKs are happening, they don’t seem to trigger an ejaculatory response in my brain as much when I’m relaxed. Similarly during sex, I tend to last much longer when I’m relaxed. This is usually after I’ve already made my partner orgasm manually or orally, as it takes the pressure off my mind.

On the flip side, I’ve realized that if I’m in an anxious or stressed state of mind then I have a much harder time lasting while masturbsting. No matter how hard I RK, the IKs are strong and it sends intense signals to my head that I need to orgasm. This presents itself during sex with my partner because I am constantly, constantly anticipating sex when I’m with her. It consumes my mind, I worry if we are going to start and am I relaxed and will I be able to perform and what if I don’t and what will she think will she be frustrated etc. And it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy because now my brain is in a super heightened sense of arousal (not just in a sexual sense) and then all the sensations of sex become that more intense and I orgasm quickly.

My struggle right now is staying mindful, NOT anticipating, NOT getting into my head and worrying. Trying to convince myself that I know I can beat PE because there have been literal days in a row where we’d have sex multiple times and I could last as long as I wanted each time for the most part. But it’s the inconsistency that eats away at me because I’m a perfectionist and I see all these times I orgasm early as failure and internalize it as an inability to overcome the anxiety.

Wow, that was a lot but as you can tell it’s been on my mind strongly lately and I just needed to type it all out to get a handle on it. Today I tried introducing auditory stimulus when masturbating which I had no done at all the last couple months and wow I went straight to PONR, could not control my around level, and eventually came which to me felt like a fail. It’s all very overwhelming as I’m sure many people on this forum can relate.