Question about limiting orgasms masturbating while in active relationship

[Wannabepro]

Hi all. I’ve had varying degrees of PE for as long as I’ve been sexually active. I’m 28, currently in a relationship, dealing with PE. I think it’s mostly psychological in my case as I’ve gotten much better at masturbating over the last ~6 weeks, lasting at least 15 minutes, rating arousal, controlling IK with RK, staying away from PONR so as not to trigger IK and inadvertently tighten my pelvic floor. I can stay calm for the most part when I’m alone, but when I’m with my partner it seems it goes down the drain quite quickly. There are times when I’m very relaxed and I can last a while with her, but it feels few and far between currently. I have a question about a key piece of advice I see in almost all programs to help overcome PE. Most suggest that you should not orgasm every time you masturbate to re-wire your brain from associating stimulation with needing to ejaculate (anywhere from once every three days to once a week to once every 10 days). I totally understand this sentiment and have been following it. But I’m wondering how people have gone about this in a relationship. I find that if I masturbate a few days in a row without orgasm and then become physically intimate with my partner my anticipation for orgasm is so much higher. Is this part of the re-wiring that I should continue working at? If I’m making sure that all of my masturbation sessions are 15min+, is there a downside to ejaculating at the end (in my full control and decision to do so, not because I reach PONR) so as to prevent a heightened arousal state when I’m with my partner? Appreciate any insight! Cheers

[skyisthelimitpe]

I dont know I dont really believe in holding off ejaculation to rewire your brain. That sounds crazy to me and you'll probably see small amounts of progress doing it. Trust me I overthought this entire thing. Ejaculation is totally normal when you're aroused. Not many people simply hold in ejaculation for the fun of it.

Fix your muscular imbalances and you will find it much easier to relax in bed. IK's will lessen and you'll be able to just think about relaxing the pf like you relax any muscle. Post a posture pic. Should be first thing done.

[Wannabepro]

Appreciate the response! Posture pic I’m assuming is a side profile, sitting or standing?

[skyisthelimitpe]

Side profile both sides standing. And then just relax everything and stand how you normally would. Post it here, let us analyze it, then start a log with the posture pic and a routine.

[Fastplan]

Yeah, this is very much where I’m at. Even though I’ve gained a lot of awareness and learnt a lot of tricks I haven’t addressed the cause yet.

I’ve found since stopping masturbating daily I sometimes cum pretty much on entry now, never used to be that fast.

I figure learning to be ‘normal’ we should be able to perform with stamina regardless of how long it’s been.

[skyisthelimitpe]

I figure learning to be ‘normal’ we should be able to perform with stamina regardless of how long it’s been.

This ^^

Yeah I see all these weird tricks on here and was all about them at first like "rewiring" and shit like that. Fix your imbalances and you'll see that all of that doesn't get to the root at all

[Wannabepro]

Side profile both sides standing. And then just relax everything and stand how you normally would. Post it here, let us analyze it, then start a log with the posture pic and a routine.

659E164C-9F8F-4BF5-8405-BB549B74CFFE.jpgEFE3FE67-0142-418B-A444-043A5ACC4323.jpg
Adding on to background, I cycle 3 times a week for a total of about 4 hours, lift 3 times per week (Squat, bench, ohp, deadlift + accessory and abs on all lifting days). On all lift days I follow the same warmup routine which is very heavily focused on opening and stretching the hips and warming up my glutes and abductors. I squat ass to grass with relatively decent form. I do notice I have some hip flexor tightness as I’m traditionally a runner. I know for sure my quads are tight. I’ve developed a good amount of hamstring flexibility as of late from stretching very well after cycling. I’ve been doing PF stretches such as reverse Kegel’s 3x/day (10x4s on 4s off, 10x 6s on 6s off, 10x 1s on 1s off, 1x 30s), and I’ve also been doing general stretching with diaphragmatic breathing such as knee to chest, happy baby pose, child’s pose, deep squat.

[Wannabepro]

https://www.pegym.com/forums/members/wannabepro-albums-posture.html

not sure if attaching the photos in my previous post worked but here’s the album I made with the same photos

[skyisthelimitpe]

it looks like a bit of lordosis. It looks as though you have an exaggerated lumbar curve. You definitely have some imbalances here that need addressing. I'd do some more research first and then see if someone here can give you a better diagnosis. Anthony is really good at that.

Based on what I know you'll want to really work on your TVA and glutes. You'll probably also want to stretch your lower back.

[Wannabepro]

Thanks for the suggestion! I’ve been doing a fair amount of research throughout the day and have come to a very similar conclusion as what you said. I think I have a slight bit of APT, not terrible. My glutes are strong, but it’s clear my lower abs are much weaker in comparison. Have found a good number of stretches and core strengthening exercises to incorporate into my normal lifting routine so as to help balance out my pelvis and aid into a relaxed PF.